The official sleep training thread!

ladytiffany24 · January 2015

Let's use this thread for all things sleep training!

Need some advice on sleep training? Want to start sleep training and could use some encouragement? Post here!

Those of you who have already tried sleep training or plan to do so, please post your stories here and/or your progress!

PregsMcSnoozalot · January 2015

I was very close to instituting some form of CIO/sleep training until I read this article (and the series of articles the mommy blogger mentions):

https://sweetmadeleine.ca/2013/10/14/here-are-some-lies-people-tell-you-about-infant-sleep/

As a result of seeing baby's fluctuating sleep habits as normal, plus my own reluctance to listen to my sweet baby cry....along with a concern that baby really DOES need to eat in the MOTN (he won't drink more than 3 ounces at a time from bottles), I've decided to wait.

LO will have full access to the midnight boobie buffet until he is at least 1 year. At that point I feel like I will be more open to Mr. Ferber

I'm very interested to watch this thread, though, since I'm definitely not saying I will NEVER do sleep training.

ladytiffany24 · January 2015

PregsMcSnoozalot said:

I was very close to instituting some form of CIO/sleep training until I read this article (and the series of articles the mommy blogger mentions):

https://sweetmadeleine.ca/2013/10/14/here-are-some-lies-people-tell-you-about-infant-sleep/

As a result of seeing baby's fluctuating sleep habits as normal, plus my own reluctance to listen to my sweet baby cry....along with a concern that baby really DOES need to eat in the MOTN (he won't drink more than 3 ounces at a time from bottles), I've decided to wait.

LO will have full access to the midnight boobie buffet until he is at least 1 year. At that point I feel like I will be more open to Mr. Ferber

I'm very interested to watch this thread, though, since I'm definitely not saying I will NEVER do sleep training.

I definitely get where you're coming from! I've read all kinds of articles that are similar and also many from the other side of the argument.

And I definitely am NOT in the camp that babies don't need to wake to feed at night. My DD is breastfed so I'm even more convinced that if she's hungry, I'm going to feed her!

My big thing is, I just need to try and get some relief. I want to at least give it a try. If it fails miserably, we'll just keep doing what we're doing and make it work all the while being sleep deprived. But I just can't NOT try something.

I'm defs interested to see how this thread plays out too. I'm sure we'll have some success stories and some not-so-success stories!

Fingers crossed that those who try some sort of sleep training are successful!

ladytiffany24 · January 2015

@PregsMcSnoozalot By the way, love the term "boobie buffet." I'm totally going to use that one!

abundancenow · January 2015

DD is a great sleeper through the night most of the time. I put her to bed awake and sometimes she fusses, but usually gets to sleep in 10 minutes. If she wakes in the middle of the night, it's usually due to a wet diaper, gas, or other discomfort and I will let her cry for ten minutes before checking on what she may need. Sometimes she just cries in her sleep for a few minutes and goes back to sleep. If not, I address the issue and put her back to bed. I never let her cry past ten minutes.

<br>

I don't think I have to train much because she has mostly been put to sleep awake after 3 months. With my first baby, I did a lot of swaying and rocking and holding and it ended up being about an hour of pre bed time carrying him around, trying to get him to fall asleep and then transfer usually resulting in waking him and him crying more. It was about a year before he could fall asleep in his crib on his own.

<br>

I think I learned from my experience with my son, but they are also different babies who have different likes and comforts.

ariel8200 · January 2015

I'm close to sleep training because it is a fight to get dd to get to sleep. I'm not against her eating at night. I'm against her waking up 5 million times because she lost her pacifier or because she wants attention.

Last night I watched her on the monitor, she would cry out and then watch the door to see if anyone would come. Little stinker.

ladytiffany24 · January 2015

kam3100 said:

I'm close to sleep training because it is a fight to get dd to get to sleep. I'm not against her eating at night. I'm against her waking up 5 million times because she lost her pacifier or because she wants attention.

This!

ladytiffany24 · January 2015

ZeroZeroOne said:

Best thing we did so far for sleep was start putting him to bed awake and ditching the paci per Ferber. Cut his wakeups down significantly. We average two night feedings which is fine. Just not sure what to do when he wakes and isn't hungry. Going in overstimulates him and makes him mad but sometimes he's awake and grunting or fussing for 30-45 minutes. Last week it sounded like he was crying so I picked him up and he yelled at me for a bit. I think I make it worse. I'm kind of at a loss.

After the grunting or fussing for 30-45 minutes, does he eventually put himself to sleep?

And I hate to ask such a basic question, but maybe he has a dirty diaper in those cases?

ladytiffany24 · January 2015

@zerozeroone I will defs be trying to ditch the paci! Hoping my LO finds a finger or two to suck on to help!

abundancenow · January 2015

It took me a week to break my son of the paci when he was 18 months old. It was pure hell. He would bang his head against the crib and cry for it. 7 days of this. He was going to a new daycare with a no paci rule. I am very happy dd never took to a paci.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

I do think at a point waking more than once at night becomes a habit that likely needs help being broken, especially if it's happening every night. The first year is so full of growth spurts, teething, milestones, etc, that sleep is going to have its ups and downs no matter what so I'm also in the boat where I probably won't do any real sleep training until closer to a year for MOTN wakings. But LO has been able to put himself to sleep since day one which is a HUGE help. DS1 needed to be Ferberized around this age just to get him to fall asleep at bedtime - I tackled the night wakings closer to 11 months.

I have a 1%er so I don't foresee knocking out any feedings for quite some time but if/when I do, I plan on using Ferber again.

One thing I did do is introduce a lovey since he doesn't take a pacifier. I gave him an Aden and Anais security blanket (not big like the swaddle ones, just a small light square one he can hold). He uses it to fall asleep - he likes it near his face. For naps I usually let him keep it the whole time since I can watch on the monitor and at night I take it away from him before I go to bed because even though it's light, I don't want to take any chances while I'm sleeping and not watching. It's only been a couple weeks and I can tell it's already become a bit of a comfort item for him when he goes in to sleep.

honeybee434 · January 2015

I just can't figure out how to get DD to fall asleep in a decent time frame. She will cry and scream if I put her down while she is awake. No amounts of going in and soothing make it better. I tried one night for almost 45 minutes of comforting her every few minutes, even tried just picking her up for a minute, rocking to calm the screams. Every time I put her back down the screams start again. She didn't used to be this way, but started around 3 months. I don't mind her waking up to eat in the MOTN, I just get exhausted trying to get her to sleep. We even have a bedtime routine. I think I just have a difficult baby because I am at a loss. There is no way just letting her scream for a long time can be good. There has to be another way.

honeybee434 · January 2015

@ZeroZeroOne‌ She will be drowsy most of the time from when I nurse her. But as soon as she gets put down its instant cries/screams. I basically have to nurse her to sleep, then wait 10 minutes to make sure she is staying asleep, put her down crazy carefully, and then sit and pray that she stays asleep because if she doesn't, I get to start the process over again. (Except for the nursing part if she is full. It then goes to holding her to sleep.)

ariel8200 · January 2015

If we break the paci at night we have to break it during the day for naps right? That's my dilemma since someone else is taking care of her.

ladytiffany24 · January 2015

kam3100 said:

If we break the paci at night we have to break it during the day for naps right? That's my dilemma since someone else is taking care of her.

Good question. I'm in the same boat. Interested to hear some answers on this.

PregsMcSnoozalot · January 2015

ladytiffany24 said:

@PregsMcSnoozalot By the way, love the term "boobie buffet." I'm totally going to use that one!

@ladytiffany24 Another good one is "breastaurant"

ladytiffany24 · January 2015

@PregsMcSnoozalot I've got to say...I just read the blog and accompanying article and it was kind of mind-blowing. I'll still be trying some sleep training, but all of that information really spoke to me and made me feel much better about the state of my LO's sleeping habits. I'm not crazy after all. I'm not a terrible mom for nursing and/or rocking my LO to sleep. I'm not crazy to think that cuddles are a good thing. Thank you for sharing that! It resonates quite a bit!

mary1217 · January 2015

LO's sleep is hit or miss. I have to rock her to sleep every night and usually have to go back and do it 1-2 times before I go to bed. Sometimes she STTN and then there are nights where she wakes up several times and/or I can't get her to go back to sleep for over an hour.

I'm planning on attempting Ferber on Friday night. My mom had to do it with me, along with countless other friends and family members with their children, including my coworker who recently had to do it because her son was waking every 2-3 hours.

I don't know if it will work for her and I don't know if I will be able to listen to her cry, but I have to try.

KatWAG · January 2015

Okay, this is going to be long.

Since sleep training, my LO STTN with very rare exceptions. And when he does wake up, he is literally wake for 30 seconds.

Let me start by saying that I am sure that part/ most of this is luck and has nothing to do with what I actually did.

Before my H and I decided to sleep sleep training we got the okay from his ped. A few pieces of infomation: LO is 6 months already. LO never used a paci because he never liked them, he now rolls both ways, he was past the 4 month sleep regression, and when he was waking up in the MOTN I was able to get him back to bed without food.

I used to rock him to bed in a pitch black room, until he was completely to sleep. That was the first thing we changed. We started to leave the door open a bit and put him in his crib when his eye lids were getting heavy.

The second thing we did was let him cry. I let him cry for a few minutes, then I went in and rubbed his belly, "shhhh-ed" him and left again. While I was in his room (maybe one minute max) he calmed down and started to smile. So I left again. I repeated this after another 5-7 minutes.

The first night he was asleep in less than 20 minutes. He woke up once, I went to him immediately. Rubbed him belly and he was back asleep in 3 minutes.

Second night he was sleep in 15 minutes. Woke up once in the MOTN. He was stuck on his belly in a weird position, so I flipped him over and he was asleep immediately.

He has fallen asleep faster and faster since then. We average 3-5 minutes now. I have also worked with our nanny to make sure she is following the same methods for naps. He sleeps almost exactly 12 hours every night.

I dont know why, but I am handling the crying at night better then my H. So I make him either walk the dog or take a shower so he cant hear the cries. It has helped, otherwise H would be running into the nursery every 20 seconds.

I dont know if we did anything special, but it worked for us.

KatWAG · January 2015

I dont why but I cant edit my post. I should add that we picked a week when we knew we would be home every night so H and I would be the ones putting LO to sleep.

melissaquinn106 · January 2015

I haven't taken the paci away, but I stopped using it to put her to sleep. I used to nurse her until she was done and then rock her with the paci until she was in a deep sleep. Now I nurse her and put her down sleepy but not asleep. I put the paci near her in the crib and turn on the glow worm thing and she stares at it until she falls asleep. If she wakes up in the middle of the night and finds it (which she has) great, if not she sucks her hand and soothes herself to sleep. I do the same for naps now and usually she puts herself to sleep in 10 minutes or less. If she wakes in the middle of the night I usually send DH in and he rubs her belly and strokes her hair and she falls back asleep. We've been doing 10 min max of crying before soothing, but it's not a constant cry.

She wakes up around 5 and I nurse her back to sleep and then go to work and my DH gets her to my mom.

Granted this is all after I let her cry one night. Which was horrible, but I am grateful that she has learned to soothe herself back to sleep and she's still the same happy smiling baby she was before.

argonne · January 2015

abundancenow said:

DD is a great sleeper through the night most of the time. I put her to bed awake and sometimes she fusses, but usually gets to sleep in 10 minutes. If she wakes in the middle of the night, it's usually due to a wet diaper, gas, or other discomfort and I will let her cry for ten minutes before checking on what she may need. Sometimes she just cries in her sleep for a few minutes and goes back to sleep. If not, I address the issue and put her back to bed. I never let her cry past ten minutes.
<br>
I don't think I have to train much because she has mostly been put to sleep awake after 3 months. With my first baby, I did a lot of swaying and rocking and holding and it ended up being about an hour of pre bed time carrying him around, trying to get him to fall asleep and then transfer usually resulting in waking him and him crying more. It was about a year before he could fall asleep in his crib on his own.
<br>
I think I learned from my experience with my son, but they are also different babies who have different likes and comforts.

This. I learned a lot from DS. With him, bedtime could last 2 hours because he didn't go down awake. I let DD fuss/cry for a max of 15 or so minutes. If she is wailing, then I go immediately because she is most likely in distress or very hungry. However, usually she goes back to sleep. Sleep training doesn't necessarily mean starve your baby all night. It means breaking sleep associations so they learn to fall asleep on their own. DD still gets fed about once a night between 3-5 AM. These past few nights she's been up 2-3 times, but she's cutting a top tooth. I always put her down awake and not drowsy, either.

argonne · January 2015

I've found that once they learn to go to sleep on their own, the MOTN waking decreases drastically.

PregsMcSnoozalot · January 2015

I got the Mom's on Call online class for 6-15 months and they were like, "say 'goodnight, I'll see you in the morning', and close the door....then don't go back in until 7am."

Ummm, I paid $29.95 for that advice?!

ladytiffany24 · January 2015

PregsMcSnoozalot said:

I got the Mom's on Call online class for 6-15 months and they were like, "say 'goodnight, I'll see you in the morning', and close the door....then don't go back in until 7am."

Ummm, I paid $29.95 for that advice?!

WHAT?! I'd ask for a refund.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

ladytiffany24 said:

PregsMcSnoozalot said:

I got the Mom's on Call online class for 6-15 months and they were like, "say 'goodnight, I'll see you in the morning', and close the door....then don't go back in until 7am."

Ummm, I paid $29.95 for that advice?!

WHAT?! I'd ask for a refund.

Geez, me too. What if your kid peed through his diaper and that's why he's crying? At least give them a courtesy check to make sure they're not sleeping in their own poop or something.

jnnfrrose6 · January 2015

ladytiffany24 said:

PregsMcSnoozalot said:

I got the Mom's on Call online class for 6-15 months and they were like, "say 'goodnight, I'll see you in the morning', and close the door....then don't go back in until 7am."

Ummm, I paid $29.95 for that advice?!

WHAT?! I'd ask for a refund.

There's definitely more to it, but I also had them come to our house for an in home consultation (shower gift from SIL).

PregsMcSnoozalot · January 2015

jnnfrrose6 said:

ladytiffany24 said:

PregsMcSnoozalot said:

I got the Mom's on Call online class for 6-15 months and they were like, "say 'goodnight, I'll see you in the morning', and close the door....then don't go back in until 7am."

Ummm, I paid $29.95 for that advice?!

WHAT?! I'd ask for a refund.

There's definitely more to it, but I also had them come to our house for an in home consultation (shower gift from SIL).

If there was more to it, they did not discuss it in the online course! They said if you go back in there, you are telling them "I don't believe you can do this by yourself, I will help you." I paid very close attention to the sleep training section because I wanted the exact details of what to do. That was it.

BBColt78 · January 2015

Baby sleep is the suck. Let me remind that my DD 1 sttn 12 hours from week 5. She never turned back. She had a paci and all. I took it from her the night before she turned 3. That was easy... "You are too old." She was fine. If you give LO a paci past 6 months, I'd just let them have it until it's easier to take away.

DD2 hates us.

She cannot stop night waking. I've read all kinds of books. What I've learned is there is something that works for every kid, you just have to figure out what it is. DD2 for instance, you better not go in and rub her belly an shhhhh her. She freaks the F out. You have to full-blown pick her up. Most of the time, she will not go back down without food. There is absolutely no way around it.

I can get DD2 down awake. Things that work... as PP mentioned... a security blanket. We too use Aden and Anais issie blankets. You can get them on Amazon or BuyBuyBaby. They are safe, small and breathable. DD 1 used one to sleep too, DD 2 has a few. She grabs that to soothe. We also use the Fisher Price Seahorse. They also make a giraffe now. Do yourself a favor and get one now. Press it everytime your LO goes to sleep. He/she starts to associate that with sleep. They watch it and fall asleep. The music is soothing. I find glow worm music to be more excitable. The bonus of the seahorse or giraffe is your LO will soon learn how to turn it on alone (before one year). Guess what happens? Then they night wake in the dark and turn it on. BAM! Now they have light and they are not scared. My DD who is three still uses hers every single night. $12

I agree with PP. So much happens the first year, it's hard to know if anything ever bothers them. My only suggestion is make sure to read if you do CIO. There are good ways of doing it. All of which I am NOT opposed too!

BBColt78 · January 2015

PregsMcSnoozalot said:

I got the Mom's on Call online class for 6-15 months and they were like, "say 'goodnight, I'll see you in the morning', and close the door....then don't go back in until 7am."

Ummm, I paid $29.95 for that advice?!

+++++++++++++++

Stuck in gray...

OH HELL NO!!!!

Jordanjkmr · January 2015

All three of mine have been great sleepers and I really think consistency has a lot to do with it:

Same general bedtime routine from day one
Same routine for every night waking (only hallway light, no talking, just change and feed...with some snuggles thrown in, of course)
Always put to bed awake
Allow some time before going to him for a night feed, in case he will fall back asleep on his own.
After the first two weeks, always in his own crib.

Maybe I've just been lucky, but we haven't had to deal with many regressions or needing crying it out with being consistent on those things.

bluejeanbaby1217 · January 2015

DD is very easy to get to sleep, she nurses then gets a 2-3oz bottle of breastmilk to top her off and we lay her down awake with her lovey and she goes right to sleep. She's been waking 1-2x a night and I'll nurse her for maybe 5min, lay her back down and leave. Our problem is I work 2 nights a week and when she wakes up for DH....well he doesn't have boobies. I really think she just comfort nurses when I get up with her so it's hard to tell if I need to leave bottles for DH to give her and how much. Sometimes she'll go back to sleep after he rocks her for a while, other times he'll bring her to bed with him and other times he gives her a bottle....either way she's up much longer in the MOTN when I'm working then when I'm home and able to nurse her. DH doesn't complain so I guess we will keep playing the "what does she need" game and call it good.

ariel8200 · January 2015

I put dd in my bed tonight and laid next to her while she fell asleep and then I cleaned up the house, pumped and now I'm in bed next to her. Not exactly sleep training but I'm not quite ready to go down that road yet.

melissaquinn106 · January 2015

https://wellrestedbaby.com/babys-first-year-4-months/

This was an interesting read about sleep cycles. I could never put my baby to bed at 5:30, but it does sound similar to what we have been doing.

The only thing I haven't tried just yet is how they describe bedtime. For months we've been doing bath, lotion, bottle, bed. So she's basically being fed to sleep. I'd like to try to do as they describe in the article with bottle, then bath, book, bed. But what we've been doing for the most part has been working.

For naps we do a diaper change, book, and hen bed and it has been working so maybe over the weekend I'll try the order mentioned in the article for bedtime as well.

Either way I felt it was worth the read.

BBColt78 · January 2015

Jordanjkmr said:
All three of mine have been great sleepers and I really think consistency has a lot to do with it:

Same general bedtime routine from day one
Same routine for every night waking (only hallway light, no talking, just change and feed...with some snuggles thrown in, of course)
Always put to bed awake
Allow some time before going to him for a night feed, in case he will fall back asleep on his own.
After the first two weeks, always in his own crib.

Maybe I've just been lucky, but we haven't had to deal with many regressions or needing crying it out with being consistent on those things.

I did all of that with my first and second. The first slept and my second doesn't.

The one thing I learned was, I was sure as shit that I was the reason my first slept so well, so early. We can set up a good environment and consistency, but high maintenence babies will continue to be high maintenence no matter what you do.

chelseakae07 · January 2015

My baby girl just turned 6 months and had the habit of waking at 3 am and 6 am to nurse, and mainly because she'd roll and end up 'stuck' on her tummy (she lost all control of her limbs??!) My ped literally said "You have my blessing to let her cry. She'll learn." So I did.. It took 2 hours one night and she 'remembered' how to roll! Two nights later and she no longer wakes to feed! Last night she did wet through her cloth diaper so I changed her, laid her right back in her crib and left. 2 mins later she was out like a light and slept 6 solid hours! I'm sure this isn't the end of night wakings, but at least I've caught up on some much needed sleep!

missilini · January 2015

DD was an amazing sleeper pretty much from day one. Then just as she hit 6 months she is a crap sleeper. I'm trying the Ferber method kind of. When I go back in to calm/reassure it just upsets her more. Soon as I pick her up she falls right to sleep. Which I've been trying not to do. She will stay asleep until i put her back in her crib. Then the scream fest continues. I'm not sure what to do about reassuring her. I feel bad that she is crying and want her to stop, but it makes it so much worse. She will also cry then fall asleep and wake up a minute or 2 later then cry again. Should I keep reassuring her or just let her cry a little longer. I know she is crying because she is tired. She has the light up giraffe thing. I put that in her crib tonight. She would watch it when I pushed it, but won't push it herself. I've been so tired this month. I don't know how you moms with babies that haven't slept well since the beginning do it.

PregsMcSnoozalot · January 2015

We Ferberized LO this weekend and it's been a freakin' miracle!

@missilini, I would say that you shouldn't pick her up, especially if that helps her go back to sleep. The point is to have her learn to fall asleep without your intervention, and to be able to wake up in the same circumstances under which she fell asleep so that she can go back to sleep on her own.

The first two nights of crying are no fun for anyone (I know that all you want to do is go in and make it stop, our blood gets flooded with hormones that say "go help baby!!"), but if you can make it through the first 48 hours, it's like a magic fairy comes in and waves her wand of sleepy dust!

Do you have Ferber's book? I followed his program very strictly and can't recommend it enough. I've been super "no cry" with the baby up until now, but when he started nursing every 45min-1hour all night for the past 2 weeks, I knew something had to change in a major way. We all have our breaking point!

Good luck to all you mamas still struggling.

sviglas · April 2015

I hope that's true for us! He sometimes goes to bed on his own after some crying. The mOTN is killing me! So far today he woke up at 11:15 and I finally nurses at 11:45 bc he wouldn't go down and I was beat. Now again up at 1:45am waited 30 min picked him up to settle awhile then back in crib and cried. Thought it would be to sleep but then screaming so nursing now at 2:50am. I don't know what to do

Mars ancooper · July 2015

I found a great article. I hope this helps

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201304/understanding-and-helping-toddler-sleep-preparing-success?#_=_

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