It's Monday--Where Is Everyone?

redneckmomma25 · January 2015

I may pack a hair dryer. There isn't 1 picture of me in the hospital with grace. Maybe if I can shower and do my hair I will be less concerned. I'd really love a nice one or two of all of us.

tinyhumantoe · January 2015

Ugh thinking back is making new anxiety bubble up.

1. I begged my family not to post anything on FB for a couple days for several reasons. I also specifically told my sister she could only take a pic of me if she promised never to show anyone. I looked dead and my top was half off. Well, that pic was on FB the next morning.

2. DH sent a pic to the nutty family in the waiting room. W spread eagle with all my vaggy afterbirth all over her. My dad posted it on FB and sent it out to 25 work contacts. It was pretty much a baby vag shot.

3. Guess who showed up up without asking the next day? 15 different uninvited visitors, thanks to FB. For the last three, I didn't even come out of the bathroom. I sat in the shower and cried in the hot water.

4. MIL hosted a dinner with cousins, aunts, everything at my house on our second day home. DH was "YES" man to everyone who called him. I will fucking cut his dick off if he allows a single person to come into my house within the first 2 weeks. He needs to tell them no, and if I end up saying yes he can call them back. This all brings up so much anger. (eta I mean non-immediate family)

5. I now remember that MIL started following me upstairs every time I breastfed and sat there. I was so bad at breastfeeding, I just wanted to be alone and not have to try to juggle a cover. She never.shuts.up. I don't want to be cornered for an hour conversation EVER, let alone when I feel like shit. Blah. (eta: I am so modest that my milk wouldn't let down because of nerves)

Sorry guys. I was thinking I won't be depressed and crazy like last time, but I think I probably will. I am going to make a list of rules for DH to try to avoid the 24-7 crying I had with W.

willy_gert · January 2015

@tinyhumantoe I am so sorry that was your experience!

I hated that I had to go sit in the nursery and pump after Luci nursed every time so I never pumped, that was a big mistake! I also was pissed because DH didn't communicate with his dad about wanting them to be the first to see Luci, so my two best friends sat in the waiting room for 2 hours after we were in our room so that DH's parents could see her first. I was pissed because it was longer that I had to stay awake and it was because his dad decided to eat at the super nice restaurant down the street. Did I mention that I hadn't gotten to eat yet?

These are things that will be clearly defined before hand if we ever have another!

BeebopandBuddy · January 2015

tinyhumantoe said:

Ugh thinking back is making new anxiety bubble up.

1. I begged my family not to post anything on FB for a couple days for several reasons. I also specifically told my sister she could only take a pic of me if she promised never to show anyone. I looked dead and my top was half off. Well, that pic was on FB the next morning.

2. DH sent a pic to the nutty family in the waiting room. W spread eagle with all my vaggy afterbirth all over her. My dad posted it on FB and sent it out to 25 work contacts. It was pretty much a baby vag shot.

3. Guess who showed up up without asking the next day? 15 different uninvited visitors, thanks to FB. For the last three, I didn't even come out of the bathroom. I sat in the shower and cried in the hot water.

4. MIL hosted a dinner with cousins, aunts, everything at my house on our second day home. DH was "YES" man to everyone who called him. I will fucking cut his dick off if he allows a single person to come into my house within the first 2 weeks. He needs to tell them no, and if I end up saying yes he can call them back. This all brings up so much anger. (eta I mean non-immediate family)

5. I now remember that MIL started following me upstairs every time I breastfed and sat there. I was so bad at breastfeeding, I just wanted to be alone and not have to try to juggle a cover. She never.shuts.up. I don't want to be cornered for an hour conversation EVER, let alone when I feel like shit. Blah. (eta: I am so modest that my milk wouldn't let down because of nerves)

Sorry guys. I was thinking I won't be depressed and crazy like last time, but I think I probably will. I am going to make a list of rules for DH to try to avoid the 24-7 crying I had with W.

I'm so sorry. That all sounds awful. I agree with your plan to write down specific rules for your DH. Maybe you should just mandate no photos at all if people can't be respectful of your boundaries. We took no photos until the following day. It not only allowed for better photos but also for us to just enjoy the moment. That's the way I would put it to people if they protest.

willy_gert · January 2015

willy_gert said:

@tinyhumantoe I am so sorry that was your experience!

I hated that I had to go sit in the nursery and pump after Luci nursed every time so I never pumped, that was a big mistake! I also was pissed because DH didn't communicate with his dad about wanting them to be the first to see Luci, so my two best friends sat in the waiting room for 2 hours after we were in our room so that DH's parents could see her first. I was pissed because it was longer that I had to stay awake and it was because his dad decided to eat at the super nice restaurant down the street. Did I mention that I hadn't gotten to eat yet?

These are things that will be clearly defined before hand if we ever have another!

The one awesome thing DH did was put a sign on our door that said something like we are excited about the new baby and we would love to have you visit, but with a new baby and mommy recovering from surgery, we are requesting no visitors until later. If you would like to visit text me at his number. He did really well with not letting people visit and protecting me once we were home.

kelbel527 · January 2015

tinyhumantoe said:

Ugh thinking back is making new anxiety bubble up.

1. I begged my family not to post anything on FB for a couple days for several reasons. I also specifically told my sister she could only take a pic of me if she promised never to show anyone. I looked dead and my top was half off. Well, that pic was on FB the next morning.

2. DH sent a pic to the nutty family in the waiting room. W spread eagle with all my vaggy afterbirth all over her. My dad posted it on FB and sent it out to 25 work contacts. It was pretty much a baby vag shot.

3. Guess who showed up up without asking the next day? 15 different uninvited visitors, thanks to FB. For the last three, I didn't even come out of the bathroom. I sat in the shower and cried in the hot water.

4. MIL hosted a dinner with cousins, aunts, everything at my house on our second day home. DH was "YES" man to everyone who called him. I will fucking cut his dick off if he allows a single person to come into my house within the first 2 weeks. He needs to tell them no, and if I end up saying yes he can call them back. This all brings up so much anger. (eta I mean non-immediate family)

5. I now remember that MIL started following me upstairs every time I breastfed and sat there. I was so bad at breastfeeding, I just wanted to be alone and not have to try to juggle a cover. She never.shuts.up. I don't want to be cornered for an hour conversation EVER, let alone when I feel like shit. Blah. (eta: I am so modest that my milk wouldn't let down because of nerves)

Sorry guys. I was thinking I won't be depressed and crazy like last time, but I think I probably will. I am going to make a list of rules for DH to try to avoid the 24-7 crying I had with W.

We were totally "yes" people when we had Brody. By the time I got to Aedan, I said no over and over. We used the excuse that we wanted to be able to focus our time and attention on Brody and getting used to the new brother that we wanted no visitors at the house for a few weeks. We allowed minimal visitors in the hospital (best friends, parents and my siblings). I was only in the hospital for 24 hours, so that helped!

I totally blasted my own stuff over FB - but there are enough hospitals by us that no one knew where I was unless I told them. I would have been livid if people showed up that I didn't invite.

Related story: The day Brody was born I saw on FB that I girl I knew in HS had her son the same day and my best friend's little sister had her daughter. DH totally wandered around the hallway to see if they were in the same hospital. Ironically we were all at 3 different hospitals.

ETA: Also - the no visitors at the house was a huge help in getting Aedan and I going on BFing. I was so much more relaxed and able to just get the hang of things without people coming by all the time.

melody921 · January 2015

kelbel527 said:

melody921 said:

And I'm off to pick up DD to take her to the pedi. :-(

Aw, good luck! Hopefully it's nothing and you can get in and out quick and back in daycare with a note.

We're home for the rest of the day. Doc said the rash is likely the result of a virus, and even though she has no fever and seems otherwise fine, she needs to stay home until tomorrow. She's napping now, and since I can't seem to connect to my work files at the moment, I'm wasting time on here.

melody921 · January 2015

amandad715 said:

Sitting at the hospital nursing baby Sam. Samuel Jeffrey was born Sat 1/10 at 7:56am. He weighed 7lbs 8oz and was 19.5in long. He's been nursing like a champ, I'm recovering from my RCS better than expected. So, we are going to head home today rather than tomorrow.

YAY @amandad715! Love his name, what a cutie! CONGRATS!

melody921 · January 2015

willy_gert said:

So, my brother and I got into an email fight this weekend because my mom wants a retirement party and he doesn't think we should be "saddled" with the responsibility.

I am pretty upset about it, because my mom was a single mom of three kids who worked a ton to make sure we had whatever we needed and pretty much anything we wanted. She doesn't usually ask us for anything, so I think it is within reason to throw her a party. The price tag is $400, but again, there are three of us.

He thinks that we should just all go to the party that the school district does, but I don't think it is intended for families of the retirees, just school district employees. I don't really know what to do or where to go from here.

If he won't help, plan something without him.

willy_gert · January 2015

That sucks @melody921 ! I hope she is good to go tomorrow!

melody921 · January 2015

@BobKat22, that is enough trouble for an entire month! Hope it all gets resolved quickly and you get a break.

melody921 · January 2015

Flamingemu said:

jenndub said:

I use a calendar app on my phone and I also use a paper planner. I carry it in my purse and I bust it out when I'm checking for scheduling conflicts. You know, what a planner is for. My BIL's annoying fiance' shrieked with laughter when she saw it and wouldn't stop making fun of me for it. She says that no one uses a paper planner anymore because smart phones exist. I already think this chick is irritating, and worse than that, boring as hell, and now I'm stuck with her.

I just bought a paper planner because I am failing miserably with my smartphone. I can't wait to see if it helps.

Considering I've had appointments disappear right off my iPhone calendar, I see no problem with a paper backup. I don't have a paper planner, but we do have a paper calendar hanging in our kitchen bc sometimes it's just easier to have everything written down at home too.

tinyhumantoe · January 2015

I think (hope?) I have sprouted the tiniest pair of balls since W's birth.

Like, I'll just regretfully explain to MIL that I'm having a hard time BFing and my milk doesn't let down when I'm in front of other people. I plan on having DH tell everyone that I'm having a hard time and it would help a lot if they could check back in a few weeks.

I think with W most of my casual acquaintance friends thought that stopping by was the 'right' thing to do. I think we broke records for number of visitors.

I have a friendship that fizzled out a year ago and I am sad about it, but I'm SO relieved I don't have to deal with her again. She stopped by my house unannounced constantly (usually with her husband and 2 kids) even after I asked her to always text or call. I think she stopped by because it trapped me into letting her come in, whereas I turned her away any time she called.

Then there was my dad's obscure second cousin who stopped by for 2 hours and insisted I feel free to BF in front of him. Uh, no, that was my way of getting you to leave and also, NO.

melody921 · January 2015

jenndub said:

I love that everyone is agreeing with me on the paper planner. My schedule is crazy and it helps me remember everything when I see it all written down. I use the Cozi app on my phone and I love that too. It's on DH's phone too so if either one of us enters something, it shows up on both calendars.

BIL and his fiance' asked us if all of the kids could be in their wedding, except for Lennon, because "she's just a useless lump." Um, wtf. I get not wanting the baby in the wedding, she'll be walking by October, but still very young. But that's a weird way of putting things. I think she tries to be funny and it just doesn't go very well. She needs to learn to stay in her lane, comedy is not her thing.

So rude. Some people are just morons.

tinyhumantoe · January 2015

@hmp1 land of nod's last day for 15% off furniture. I'm guessing it's still over your budget, and you probably already knew about the sale, but just in case!

MarisaKathleen · January 2015

@tinyhumantoe, your MIL is such a dbag. Seriously. The lack of boundaries on that woman! This time around you have to grow a pair and tell her to leave you alone while you nurse. its better for all of you.

melody921 · January 2015

MarisaKathleen said:

redneckmomma25 said:

I've been so annoyed today. Poor G has no choice but to deal with me. I ate so much junk this weekend that I've had yogurt for breakfast and I'm in the process of choking down a salad for lunch. GTT test tomorrow. I'm sure I'll fail the 1 hour. The scale will probably just tell me to get off and go for a walk. People are talking about packing hospital bags. There is still 3 months left! I am in denial.

a girlfriend of mine is due 2/18 and posted on FB asking for what to pack in a hospital bag. crazy people were like razor for shaving your legs, 2 pillows, your breastpump, 3 changes of clothes, a robe, your own towels, food for 3 days, your stroller for leaving the hospital, and my personal favorite, your own blow dryer.

Now I'm quite vain. I don't even go to the grocery store without makeup on, but FFS. It's 2 days. You don't need to blowdry your hair and shave your damn legs the day after giving birth! Who does that?! I don't want to shave my legs in a hospital shower with crappy water pressure! And a stroller?! What? No. Knock that off.

Not to mention they'll give you a pump if you really need one. I remained in the hospital gown both times bc there was so damn many post-birth checks it would have been ridiculous to be removing yoga pants round the clock.

hmp1 · January 2015

tinyhumantoe said:

@hmp1 land of nod's last day for 15% off furniture. I'm guessing it's still over your budget, and you probably already knew about the sale, but just in case!

Thanks, but it is at RH

I did like this one from LON but like the RH one better.

ETA the beds are going in front of windows so that is why I'm stuck on the open rails iron look.

melody921 · January 2015

tinyhumantoe said:

Ugh thinking back is making new anxiety bubble up.

GL @tinyhumantoe. Definitely set boundaries and stick to them. It's hard in the beginning. After I had DS, I felt like people were constantly up in our grill. FIL and his wife said they'd bring lunch over. Thanks, that's nice. Then they stayed for hours. Not so nice. It would be time to feed DS, and I'd ask whoever had him to hand him over. They wouldn't, he'd get ridiculously worked up so that by the time I did get to feed him, it was a disaster. I wasn't comfortable nursing in front of people, so I always felt like I was hiding away. And on and on.

That said, before DD was born I decided things were going to change. If anyone refused to hand her over, I took her. I kept her on the feeding schedule that worked for her. I fed her wherever and whenever she needed to eat (with a cover), and apologized to no one. People were better about staying out of our faces, maybe bc she was the second grandchild. It was just smoother all around.

Oh, and no one came to the hospital until after both kids were born and we told them it was OK to show up. It wasn't a friggin' party.

Pokedot · January 2015

melody921 said:

kelbel527 said:

melody921 said:

And I'm off to pick up DD to take her to the pedi. :-(

Aw, good luck! Hopefully it's nothing and you can get in and out quick and back in daycare with a note.

We're home for the rest of the day. Doc said the rash is likely the result of a virus, and even though she has no fever and seems otherwise fine, she needs to stay home until tomorrow. She's napping now, and since I can't seem to connect to my work files at the moment, I'm wasting time on here.

B had a viral rash earlier this year too. It was so strange. He had red bumps completely all over his body. Specifically his arms/legs and stomach. It went away in 2 days with no itching, fever etc. Just his body's way of working it out I guess. Hope she feels better. Enjoy your time home!

melody921 · January 2015

And seriously to all the people posting pics on FB of new moms and their babies. WTF. Boundaries people. I intend to see my new niece/nephew as soon as bro and SIL are up for visitors, but it would never cross my mind to post anything on FB without their OK first.

willy_gert · January 2015

Y'all I have a serious attention problem today.... I need to do all the work, but I just don't feel like it!

Eastie156 · January 2015

I'm here... First day back at work from maternity leave. It was supposed to be last week, but I had the stomach flu for two or three days last week so that didn't happen. My replacement did hardly anything. I really thought she would do a better job than she did and I cannot believe she has an MBA and an MSA. It boggles my mind. Literally it looks like she did the bare minimum and I already want to tear my hair out about what I need to do to get caught up.

jenndub · January 2015

Eastie156 said:

I'm here... First day back at work from maternity leave. It was supposed to be last week, but I had the stomach flu for two or three days last week so that didn't happen. My replacement did hardly anything. I really thought she would do a better job than she did and I cannot believe she has an MBA and an MSA. It boggles my mind. Literally it looks like she did the bare minimum and I already want to tear my hair out and what I need to do to get caught up.

Aw, man. That sucks. My temp was a waste too. I spent an entire week just getting organized. Good luck today!

Eastie156 · January 2015

amandad715 said:

Sitting at the hospital nursing baby Sam. Samuel Jeffrey was born Sat 1/10 at 7:56am. He weighed 7lbs 8oz and was 19.5in long. He's been nursing like a champ, I'm recovering from my RCS better than expected. So, we are going to head home today rather than tomorrow.

Congratulations @amandad715 !

melody921 · January 2015

No offense to anyone who works in IT, but I'm about to lose it here. I can't access the drive I need for my work files, so I sent an email to IT. Every response is a one-line answer with no details. She most recently told me I'd need to "remap the drive." Great, lady, now WTF does that mean and how do I go about doing it? Sheesh, I get that maybe I'm an IT fool, but if I knew how to fix this, I never would have submitted the ticket in the first place!

tinyhumantoe · January 2015

@melody921 YES! Oh man, I forgot about that. They think they'll just 'soothe' the baby for you like they're doing you a favor. They've pulled out every stop and the baby is still crying bloody murder. DUDE.

One time I did go nap while MIL was over. I told her she'd need to eat in around 30 minutes so wake me when she gets fussy. First of all, it was a fight to explain that she couldn't just give her a bottle. Then I woke up an hour and a half later, came down in complete panic and couldn't find them anywhere. I step outside and hear total screaming. MIL is bouncing around telling her shhhhhhh. The woman had taken her outside because she was so inconsolable for the last hour and she didn't want to wake me. That was the most hysterical crying fit I have ever had in front of MIL. She means well but she is a reckless ditz.

willy_gert · January 2015

This is going to sound bad, and I don't mean it in a bad way, but the kind of MIL stuff y'all are talking about makes me a little grateful MIL has Alzheimer's and doesn't know who I am and therefore who Luci is to pull this kind of stuff.

kelbel527 · January 2015

melody921 said:

And seriously to all the people posting pics on FB of new moms and their babies. WTF. Boundaries people. I intend to see my new niece/nephew as soon as bro and SIL are up for visitors, but it would never cross my mind to post anything on FB without their OK first.

Yes. We're so lucky people in our family respect our boundaries. Our visitors weren't allowed to post pics until we did and we didn't post anything until all the grandparents had met their grandsons. That meant that it was over a day before a picture was posted, but that was our rule and everyone did a great job following.

MarisaKathleen · January 2015

My butt hurts so fricking bad I'm sitting on a yoga ball. WTF am I going to do if this shit keeps up for the next month?!

And thank God for other people at work who are too lazy to take their things home and someone still had a yoga ball here from 3 years ago when we got "alternative desk chairs" for a wellness thing.

Flamingemu · January 2015

I was only i

melody921 said:

No offense to anyone who works in IT, but I'm about to lose it here. I can't access the drive I need for my work files, so I sent an email to IT. Every response is a one-line answer with no details. She most recently told me I'd need to "remap the drive." Great, lady, now WTF does that mean and how do I go about doing it? Sheesh, I get that maybe I'm an IT fool, but if I knew how to fix this, I never would have submitted the ticket in the first place!

If you know the drive number and location she means click start > computer > top should have a link to remap the drive.

IT people do not know how to talk to other humans. I have a rare husband that knows how to talk to everyone. That is the main reason he is so good at his job. I used to work with a programmer that I wouldn't even allow to attend meetings. If she was forced to come by a client, she wasn't allowed to speak other than to confirm something I said or say 'this is still up for discussion offline'. Seriously, she was so smart and had zero people skills.

melody921 · January 2015

MarisaKathleen said:

My butt hurts so fricking bad I'm sitting on a yoga ball. WTF am I going to do if this shit keeps up for the next month?!

And thank God for other people at work who are too lazy to take their things home and someone still had a yoga ball here from 3 years ago when we got "alternative desk chairs" for a wellness thing.

I hope you don't need the ball for much longer, but I've seriously been contemplating trading in my chair for a ball. Good idea?

melody921 · January 2015

I just did the shortest, most intense workout ever. A local trainer who specializes in female-only fitness had a deal where you could sign up for online videos, $12 for a month. So I did it, thinking surely I could handle the recommended three videos a day, which are between 3.5 and 5 mins each. I think I might die right now. My arms and ass are on fire, and my face feels numb. Most intense 12 minutes of my life. But if this program coupled with some extra cardio doesn't get results, nothing will. This woman is a beast.

Flamingemu · January 2015

melody921 said:

I just did the shortest, most intense workout ever. A local trainer who specializes in female-only fitness had a deal where you could sign up for online videos, $12 for a month. So I did it, thinking surely I could handle the recommended three videos a day, which are between 3.5 and 5 mins each. I think I might die right now. My arms and ass are on fire, and my face feels numb. Most intense 12 minutes of my life. But if this program coupled with some extra cardio doesn't get results, nothing will. This woman is a beast.

I have a couple 10 & 15 minute workouts that make my whole body burn. They are great. They have little caloric impact because they are so short, but they at least keep you motivated to be healthier overall.

MarisaKathleen · January 2015

melody921 said:

MarisaKathleen said:

My butt hurts so fricking bad I'm sitting on a yoga ball. WTF am I going to do if this shit keeps up for the next month?!

And thank God for other people at work who are too lazy to take their things home and someone still had a yoga ball here from 3 years ago when we got "alternative desk chairs" for a wellness thing.

I hope you don't need the ball for much longer, but I've seriously been contemplating trading in my chair for a ball. Good idea?

A friend of mine has this kind:

I'm sitting on a big orange ball. And trying to put the pressure on my pelvis and not my tailbone. so no, if I sat like this all day I'd have to murder someone by 1pm because of how uncomfortable it is. I imagine the one above is probably a little more comfortable than trying to perch on the balls of your feet.

I feel like I'm in a port o potty hovering about the seat.

willy_gert · January 2015

MarisaKathleen said:

melody921 said:

MarisaKathleen said:

My butt hurts so fricking bad I'm sitting on a yoga ball. WTF am I going to do if this shit keeps up for the next month?!

And thank God for other people at work who are too lazy to take their things home and someone still had a yoga ball here from 3 years ago when we got "alternative desk chairs" for a wellness thing.

I hope you don't need the ball for much longer, but I've seriously been contemplating trading in my chair for a ball. Good idea?

A friend of mine has this kind:

I'm sitting on a big orange ball. And trying to put the pressure on my pelvis and not my tailbone. so no, if I sat like this all day I'd have to murder someone by 1pm because of how uncomfortable it is. I imagine the one above is probably a little more comfortable than trying to perch on the balls of your feet.

I feel like I'm in a port o potty hovering about the seat.M

My boss has this chair and she says its not bad, except for days that you wear a dress.... She said those days it is hard to keep her knees together....

melody921 · January 2015

Flamingemu said:

melody921 said:

I just did the shortest, most intense workout ever. A local trainer who specializes in female-only fitness had a deal where you could sign up for online videos, $12 for a month. So I did it, thinking surely I could handle the recommended three videos a day, which are between 3.5 and 5 mins each. I think I might die right now. My arms and ass are on fire, and my face feels numb. Most intense 12 minutes of my life. But if this program coupled with some extra cardio doesn't get results, nothing will. This woman is a beast.

I have a couple 10 & 15 minute workouts that make my whole body burn. They are great. They have little caloric impact because they are so short, but they at least keep you motivated to be healthier overall.

Exactly! And I figure it's toning more than if I just sat around.

AKB090609 · January 2015

I have been making calls for the last two hours, I forgot how much I hate dealing with people.

I also found out that preschool registration opened on Saturday for the 2015/2016 school year, the class that DD 'needs' to be in only has 4 spots left, but I hate that I need to commit to a year long schedule that doesn't begin for more than 7 months, I'm not organized enough to have life planned this far in advance.

willy_gert · January 2015

AKB090609 said:

I have been making calls for the last two hours, I forgot how much I hate dealing with people.

I also found out that preschool registration opened on Saturday for the 2015/2016 school year, the class that DD 'needs' to be in only has 4 spots left, but I hate that I need to commit to a year long schedule that doesn't begin for more than 7 months, I'm not organized enough to have life planned this far in advance.

Crazy!

I am so glad that DD's daycare does Preschool there and we know the teacher! I can't imagine having to cold call and figure all of that stuff out so early!

willy_gert · January 2015

Okay, so I know someone mentioned this the other day, but how can you tell if your child is colorblind? Luci says colors, but doesn't seem to associate them with an actual color. i.e. - I ask her what color crayon she has and she shouts out a color but rarely is it correct. I am thoroughly convinced that DH is colorblind, or has some variation, because he sees colors so differently. Things that I think are blue, he says are green. Same with red, pink, orange, etc.

Any way to tell at this point for sure?

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