"Me" time.... Anyone get any? — The Bump
Working Moms

"Me" time.... Anyone get any?

I am going crazy. I work full time and have two kids, age six and one. I feel like I have zero time to myself. My "me time" last week was going to grocery store alone. I work 7:30 to 5. I have to pick up kids, DH does drop off. I then make dinner, feed kids, kids in bed. At eight pm when six year old is in bed I feel like crashing. Weekends are crazy.
Are any of you ladies able to get"me" time? If so how? I feel like I am losing my mind. I love spending time as a family but I want some me time, to be crazy and do things like read a grown up book or watch downton Abby.




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Re: "Me" time.... Anyone get any?

  • Hi! I'm a long time lurker, occasional poster... Just thought I'd leave my 2 cents on this one, I hope you all don't mind.

    DH and I had a sit down a few months back because I felt like he was using every Sunday as a day to hang out with his friends and I was getting burnt out. We now split our Sundays so we each get a break.

    Typically the last Sunday if the month is spent as a family day and then family dinner at my IL house. We each get one Sunday and the "extra" Sunday is a family day. Each month we sit down together and plan it out so we agree on days.

    This is what had worked the best for us, and we both know it's subject to change if something more important comes up.
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  • I get some when the babies are napping and when I do errands alone. I occasionally soak in the Jacuzzi tub for 30 minutes. I'm okay with the time I get.
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  • I don't get much. I took oldest DD to CCD on Saturday and got a blissful 45 minutes reading a food magazine. DH always tell me to go out for drinks or make plans.... But we have 4 kids and I am still nursing the twins...so, that doesn't really happen. I have made plans to go to brunch 90 minutes away this weekend (to see some college friends)with DHs encouragement- but he keeps "forgetting" and tries to make plans. I have gently reminded him about 3 times that I am going. Based on the past, I am fairly certain that it will get better when the twins are a bit older :smile:
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  • I only have one kid, and he is usually in bed by 8:30, so from then on it's "me" time till I go to bed.m. I usually end up just watching tv or surfing the net.

    Every Sunday DH takes DS to swimming class and is gone from 11 to about 1, so that's when I get to sit back, drink some coffee and actually read the paper. DH is also incredibly supportive and always encourages me to go hang out with my friends more, but I like hanging out with him and DS more so I go out without them maybe once or twice a month.
  • One of the few benefits of having kids 17 months apart is that they both nap 1-3 on weekends. I really try to use that time -or at least half of it - to read something fun or relax. And probably half of the time between kids going to bed and me going to bed (about 2 hours) I try to do something enjoyable. But out of the house me time ends up usually happening only if I leave work early or take a long lunch. I get out to see friends probably twice a month. It'd be nice to have more time to myself, but I'm feeling ok about the current situation.
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  • I think "me" time depends a lot on your DH. They have to be the ones to step up to either give you me time or let you take it. If you're busted, just work with your DH to find a good time to take a regularly scheduled break - then it's on you to actually take it (which, speaking from experience, is kind of hard sometimes).

    My only me time comes in the mornings before everyone wakes up. I get up at 4am everyday anyway to go to work, so I try to get up around 5 or 6 on weekends, too. I read for an hour or two before everyone wakes up rather than being ripped from a peaceful slumber by my DS crying, "Help! Help! I wa dodoshtay. I wa pie." (Help! Help! I want to go downstairs. I want to play.)
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  • I am bad at this, but its my own choice/fault. I get my "me" time when DS naps on the weekends (usually about 2 hours). Sometimes Ill get a pedi/lay on the couch and watch tv/work out etc. Sometimes, I meal prep, run to the store. DH is great about telling me to go out and do what I want to do but since I get so little time with DS in general, I hate missing him. When #2 comes in May, I will really need the break and need to make time for myself.
  • The most peaceful part of my weekend was my waxing appointment. So, yeah.

    Honestly though, DH and I take turns making sure the each other gets alone time. Parenting is a partnership.
    jasminelorraine20[Deleted User]
  • I get me time every night at 7 when DS goes to bed. Of course it's easier said than done because I only have the one kid.

    To free up some of your time, could you possibly make a crock pot meal on Sunday? Even if you prepped several meals on Sundays for throughout the week, it would free up some evenings where you can relax a little instead of cooking dinner.

    Also, is it possible for your H to put the kids to bed? That gives you time to clean up dinner dishes and then start a little "me time".

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  • Tues and Wed nights after bed time (8:00) are my "me time". Tuesday I do a Zumba class with a bunch of other moms in my neighborhood, so it's also social. Wedneday I get together with a friend for an hour or two and we chat while working on art projects. DH takes care of any necessary housework on these night and I do the same when he is out on Mondays and Thursdays. I feel like getting out of the house is key, and since we each have our 2 days it works out very well.

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  • Thanks everyone. I am going to try and make a plan with DH about taking turns weekends for a few hours.




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  • I do a girls night every Monday night.  I leave after dinner, baths, and right before DD goes to bed.  DH and DS do "movie night" on these nights so there isn't a lot of added work for DH.  Girls night gives me sanity to make it through the rest of the week.
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    jasminelorraine20
  • sugarbear0524sugarbear0524 member
    edited January 2015
    I take DS to school at 7:30 every morning. It's only 5 minutes away so I come home and eat breakfast alone. I work next to DS's school, so I have a 5 minute commute. I get about 45 minutes or so at home. I also go home for lunch most days.

    I get off work at 3:00 on Fridays and spend 3:00-5:30 alone or with a friend every week. It's great!


  • I have 2 kids and after the oldest is in bed around 7:45pm, I spend maybe an hour on chores and then I try and have half an hour to an hour of "me time" once a night. I also work from home once a week and although I'm working, having the house to myself for a day does wonders for my sanity. DH and I also trade off weekend mornings for sleeping in so I get "me time" that way as well.

    Like PP mentioned, it really depends on how supportive your DH is. I usually plan things for late at night after the kids are in bed and DH doesn't mind staying at home with them. If I have to leave early, he also doesn't mind putting the toddler to bed (I usually put both kids to bed). I have a membership to Massage Envy and schedule massages for 8pm so that I can put both kids to bed and head out for my massage. 

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  • edited January 2015

    I get some time by:

    - Daycare at the gym. After working out sit in the sauna or in the lobby and read/surf the Internet.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

    - Schedule a vacation day and take the kids to daycare.

    - Take a long lunch every once in a while and get your nails or hair done during lunch.

  • This is something I definitely hire out.  I don't view sitters as much as a date night necessity as I do an occasional evening necessity. 

    DH travels for work, so I was having a hard time getting any time away from home (I WFH and have three kids).  I started booking a sitter 1x/week (unless my schedule is too crazy) for fun - our neighborhood women's club is doing a paint party next week, for example.  I might grab dinner with a friend.  I also sometimes book a sitter to help me cover my commitments/kid activities then parlay that into an extra 30 minutes -for example, last week after the board meeting I ran to the store.  If I get a sitter so I can take the oldest to a late practice (the two younger go to bed at 7) I get an hour while the oldest is at practice and do something alone or pop in to see a friend.

    The key for me was just scheduling it.  Twice DH's travel schedule changed and I didn't want to jerk the sitter around.  Once he worked late and the other time he went to Starbucks - so we both got a break.

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  • As a working mom, I find that one of the biggest perks is having childcare in place and being able to take a day or a half day to myself during the week.  Somehow it makes me feel better about taking time to myself, because I'm not taking any time away from the kids that I would normally be with them.  Of course, it depends on how much vacation time you get, but this has always worked out for me.  This coming Monday, my company is closed for MLK day, and I have plans to still have our nanny come.  I'm going to run errands, go to the gym, and get a massage.  It's awesome.  Can you do this every now and again?
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    jasminelorraine20
  • As a working mom, I find that one of the biggest perks is having childcare in place and being able to take a day or a half day to myself during the week.  Somehow it makes me feel better about taking time to myself, because I'm not taking any time away from the kids that I would normally be with them.  Of course, it depends on how much vacation time you get, but this has always worked out for me.  This coming Monday, my company is closed for MLK day, and I have plans to still have our nanny come.  I'm going to run errands, go to the gym, and get a massage.  It's awesome.  Can you do this every now and again?
    This is a huge perk for me as well. I plan on sending DS to school on MLK day as well. I'm in desperate need of a manicure and a nap!
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  • bethann3181 said:
    As a working mom, I find that one of the biggest perks is having childcare in place and being able to take a day or a half day to myself during the week.  Somehow it makes me feel better about taking time to myself, because I'm not taking any time away from the kids that I would normally be with them.  Of course, it depends on how much vacation time you get, but this has always worked out for me.  This coming Monday, my company is closed for MLK day, and I have plans to still have our nanny come.  I'm going to run errands, go to the gym, and get a massage.  It's awesome.  Can you do this every now and again?
    I have done this a number of times....but last year between sick kids and snow days I was not able to take any days for me.  If all goes well, I will plan on taking a couple of ME days this year.

    Additionally, DH and I both take turns on the weekends to getting alone time...last weekend, DH went to his Dad's to watch basketball.  This weekend I am going out with friends for a birthday celebration.  It is a give and take.  We also make time about once a month for together time, i.e. date night...whether out or movie night at the house.  Luckily, we have my MIL close by as a babysitter.

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  • My "me" time is reading before I go to bed and I've started grocery shopping by myself on Saturday mornings.  I also have every-other Friday off, so sometimes I use part of the day to go to the mall or something else that I enjoy doing.
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