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insensitive husband

gingerygirlgingerygirl member
in Pregnant after a Loss
Just need a place to rant about this for a minute.
Yesterday I was looking at some classes that my hospital offers and I asked my husband if he tthought I should take a labor and birthing class. I told him it was to help me know what to do and know how to stay calm during labor. You know what he said to me?
"Yeah, I think you should cause you didn't handle your last labor well at all. You were screaming and hyperventilating. It wasn't good at all."
Well of course I didn't handle it well, I was in unexpected labor at 23 weeks! How was I supposed to handle that??
So of course I started crying and he just logged at me like I was weird and like he didn't say anything wrong. Ugh. What a jerk.
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Re: insensitive husband

  • sandj918sandj918 member
    That was insensitive. I'm sorry he said that and you had that experience with early labor/loss. ((Hugs))
    DH: 28 Me: 30~TTC #2 since June 2014
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  • heathersf11heathersf11 member
    I'm so sorry he said that to you. I just went back and read your birth story. Huge hugs to you. 
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    Married DH 8/1/11
    7/21/13 SA poor morphology/ low count
    BFP #1 11/18/13, EDD 7/22/14 
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    BFP #2 8/21/14, EDD 5/1/15 
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  • meredithcarolemeredithcarole member
    *lurking*

    I am so very sorry he said that. Can you explain to him why that was so incredibly hurtful and insensitive?
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    AMA 35 :  DH 33
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  • CreechMommyCreechMommy member
    So sorry.  Maybe he was saying it to agree with you but it came out wrong.  I know my husband has a tendency to say things the wrong way sometimes.  Hope things get better.  

    Ashleigh (26) and Darren (26)
    Married 8-10-13
    TTC since February 2014
    BFP #1 4-22-14  EDD 1-1-15
    8w u/s 5-22-14 Baby measuring 6w1d. Heartbeat detected
    Went to Dr. 5-30-14 due to bleeding. Prescribed progesterone
    Went to ER 6-1-14 2:30 AM - diagnosed with incomplete m/c
    6-6-14 natural m/c completed
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  • jap618jap618 member
    Holy shit I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I would definitely have a conversation with him about how that made you feel and how that was awful. So many ((hugs))
    Married the love of my life June 18, 2011 -- Me (28) DH (29)
    TTC #1 since June 2012
    BFP #1 6.29.12 EDD 3.12.13 MMC discovered 8.11.12 9w5d D&C 8.15.12
    BFP #2 11.2.12 EDD 7.14.13 MMC 6w5d discovered 8w6d 2 failed rounds miso D&C 12.27.12
    BFP #3 8.5.13 EDD 4.18.14 MMC 7w4d discovered 9.25.13 at 10w6d -Trisomy 13- 1 round miso & emergency D&C 10.2.13
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  • gingerygirlgingerygirl member
    I'm sure he didn't mean it in a mean or bad way, but he really is clueless sometimes and doesn't have much tact.
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  • pblgepblge member
    Yup, that's pretty bad! It may even be worth having someone else try to explain this to him--perhaps a social worker at the hospital? There are some serious failures at empathy in that statement. I'm sorry you had to hear that. (((hugs)))

    One note about the birthing class at your hospital. We were advised to avoid ours, as it was essentially an overview of hospital procedures for the things that could go wrong. We're doing a birthing class elsewhere. Might be worth asking around in your area to see what people have had good experiences with.
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  • peggels24peggels24 member
    ((hugs)) I am sorry that he was so insensitive. I agree that you should sit down and chat with him about it when you are feeling up to it. He needs to understand why it was the wrong thing to say.
    BFP #1 09/26/2013 EDD 06/04/2013 MMC 11/01/2013
    BFP #2 05/15/2014 EDD 01/24/2015

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