Sex frustration

RSupry · January 2015

Sorry if this qualifies as TMI but I'm extremely frustrated with my husband since he is to weirded out by me being pregnant to have sex with me. It's been a while, basically since just after I started showing.

Obviously I can live without it but I don't want to. And with three more months and then the post parting wait period it's going to be a long time before I see any action. I really thought he would be less weird about this time but he's worse.

Anybody else's significant other holding out on them? Or do I have the only freaked out husband?

n0soup4u · January 2015

I have no advice other then to talk to him about it which I'm sure you have. Maybe get a toy for yourself in the meantime.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

The user and all related content has been deleted.

somewheresublime86 · January 2015

Woman, if your hubby isn't feeling it and won't be for the next few months, just get a vibrator. Seriously. Take matters into your own hands.

specialsn0wflake · January 2015

somewheresublime86 said:
Woman, if your hubby isn't feeling it and won't be for the next few months, just get a vibrator. Seriously. Take matters into your own hands.

This. I can offer some recommendations if you want!

smilesallaround · January 2015

My husband was kinda the same at first. But when I finally got him to once I made sure it was GREAT and now he initiates it.

There is still time for your husband to come around. Until then get a vibrator.

ally3242 · January 2015

Consider your health, the health of your baby and then tell me if not getting boned by your husband is really a problem. And no, you're not the only woman whose husband has zero interest in, sexually while pregnant. Deal with it.

longshotlove · January 2015

Couldn't say it any better than @snedge and @Mooreamanda11‌.

Couth. It wouldn't hurt to check out the board prior to posting something so trivial. Our hearts hurt too much to give a fuck about your sex life.

Edit for spelling because I just can't tonight.

scarbroughv · January 2015

I'm always amazed at how people are so rude, and downright mean sometimes. Especially on boards like this, where evey woman should be able to get some advice with their concerns. They act like your problems are NOTHING. Crazy! Yes, there are worse things in life, but come on.... DON'T comment if u don't have a nice thing to say. Yes this board is for anyone to POST & to REPLY. I am just baffled by people, and what people will do or say to make themselves feel better. Dumb & immature.

taahira · January 2015

scarbroughv said:
I'm always amazed at how people are so rude, and downright mean sometimes. Especially on boards like this, where evey woman should be able to get some advice with their concerns. They act like your problems are NOTHING. Crazy! Yes, there are worse things in life, but come on.... DON'T comment if u don't have a nice thing to say. Yes this board is for anyone to POST & to REPLY. I am just baffled by people, and what people will do or say to make themselves feel better. Dumb & immature.

@scarbroughv‌ did you follow the traumatic premature labour and delivery of a fellow A15 Mama. Her little son fought for his life these last 2 weeks, and lost his fight today. For all of us who have prayed and hoped for little Max to pull through, are devastated tonight. What's dumb and immature is this post, since most of us are grieving, and what's even more fuck up is your response.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

The user and all related content has been deleted.

mollymsalyers · January 2015

@GrailSeeker14‌ I back you up 100%
Thank you for saying exactly what was on my mind to her!

ETA: never mind on the pointing out she's a WK you figured it out as I was typing.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

The user and all related content has been deleted.

kurban627 · January 2015

As I'm reading this tears are streaming down my face for baby Max. I know this is the same for many other members of this group that show up every now and then. Read through that post and after that you won't even be able to give a shit about your own sex life let alone someone else's.

knlouis · January 2015

aikendrum said:
@RSupry‌ You just posted your intro thread yesterday, so obviously you're new and that's not a bad thing. This thread topic, in general, is also not a bad thing. The timing of it, however, is a bad thing. No regulars have made a new post since the news of Max's passing. We are all heartbroken and in tears over that news, so topics like this won't receive much support right now. Don't let it deter you from being involved here, and please be open-minded about the responses you've received so far. We just can't handle devastating news like the loss of a baby, and then cheerfully answer your question about sex. It's not going to happen. Don't take it personally and try again some other time. We just all need some time to grieve right now. If you understand, thank you. If you don't, this may not be the place for you.

Perfectly said! I'm still crying for baby Max and seeing this post just wasn't the next thing u wanted to pop up...

As for the WK....

redneckmomma25 · January 2015

Not trying to wk but I guess I don't feel like it's that big of a deal. We are all heart broken over max. When would have been ideal for her to post this? Today? I didn't know we weren't posting new threads after the news. She had a valid concern. I think I would have posted something yesterday had a question or concern popped up and of course whatever I had would pale in comparison to Max.

I guess I just don't take issue with this post. I take issue with that wk.

I have no advice for the OP.

missab · January 2015

snegde said:
@frownyface you beat me to it.

Ironically @scarbroughv your insensitivity is the epitome of rudeness. This being your only post is even more unfortunate.
@babypeanutv2015 as someone who is high risk and spends time here your should know better. Shame on you.

@lailovexoxo clearly you lurk your support for @scarbroughv is also considered rude and same for you @jnttc

@Rsuply you are new here and I am guessing an app user so I don't fault you one bit. I hope you understand why this post received the response it did (and I don't think there was rudenes honestly, just frustration and grief), and will continue to participate here.

This. OP,it's probably just going to be a somber few days around here. We always suggest to newbies that they take some time to read a page or two of posts before jumping in, but never has that been more critical. This entire board is in a state of mourning after the news we received about Max last night. So please forgive us if you aren't getting the responses you had hoped for. Give us time. And try to do your part by getting to know what is going on with others on the board.

As for the WK and the WK lovetitters, you should truly be ashamed and disgusted with yourselves. While OP may have posted without knowing what else was going on, your posts and LTs came AFTER it was explained here why the post isn't well received today. You clearly lack any amount of human compassion or decency and are not welcome here. I hope to never have the misfortune of meeting any of you IRL.

OliveMom3 · January 2015

aikendrum said:
@RSupry‌ You just posted your intro thread yesterday, so obviously you're new and that's not a bad thing. This thread topic, in general, is also not a bad thing. The timing of it, however, is a bad thing. No regulars have made a new post since the news of Max's passing. We are all heartbroken and in tears over that news, so topics like this won't receive much support right now. Don't let it deter you from being involved here, and please be open-minded about the responses you've received so far. We just can't handle devastating news like the loss of a baby, and then cheerfully answer your question about sex. It's not going to happen. Don't take it personally and try again some other time. We just all need some time to grieve right now. If you understand, thank you. If you don't, this may not be the place for you.

Perfectly said.

jk3610 · January 2015

I will echo what PP have said. Not a super terrible question I guess, but super terrible timing. Damn. As soon as I open up TB I scroll through the first page to see what's going on first to kind of gauge how the board is feeling before I comment/post. Take a step back and consider the pain stucas is feeling and how affected we are by it as a board.

RSupry · January 2015

I checked the boards after I made my post and immediately realized that my timing was terrible. I have been lurking long enough to follow baby Max'd story and I am also very heartbroken for his mother. I apologize for my poor timing.

lirpaloof77 · January 2015

@snedge thank you for posting that. My heart is so very broken. @redneckmomma25, yes tomorrow or the next day would be much better. Max deserves more than a moment of silence.

taahira · January 2015

redneckmomma25 said:
Not trying to wk but I guess I don't feel like it's that big of a deal. We are all heart broken over max. When would have been ideal for her to post this? Today? I didn't know we weren't posting new threads after the news. She had a valid concern. I think I would have posted something yesterday had a question or concern popped up and of course whatever I had would pale in comparison to Max.

I guess I just don't take issue with this post. I take issue with that wk.

I have no advice for the OP.

Just surprised by your comment.

redneckmomma25 · January 2015

Sorry that I don't feel the same way. My heart breaks just as much as any one else's. Just because I didn't realize there was supposed to be a pause on the board doesn't mean I lack compassion, empathy, sympathy or don't care. I absolutely do. For me personally I would want the board to continue to function. Everyone is different and deals with things differently. I don't think posting a new thread is insensitive. I feel being side eyed for it to be a bit much. But whatever, you can side eye me just don't suggest I am not compassionate or empathetic. I've been around the bump a long time. Never once have I seen a board pause for a loss. If that's how this board will operate then I will respect that from here on but that is not something I have experienced on the boards so it isn't something that would come to my mind.

mrsalvidrez · January 2015

OP I think you've handled this thread very well so props for that. I also don't feel like answering your question is disrespectful to other things taking place on the board, but I think a lot of members are a little emotionally exhausted to come up with an answer for you, which is totally understandable. My advice: ask DH about it. I feel lucky that my DH has handled intimacy really well with me being pregnant but we talk about anything that bothers us. Also, try to make a special effort, when my sex drive was super low DH went all out one night trying to create an awesome setting for me and our sex life has been great ever since. Maybe if you take the lead and do this your DH will be turned on.

RSupry · January 2015

@mrsalvidrez. Thanks, I was a little taken aback since it was my first post but I completely understand people's reactions. I'll just have to remember to check the board before posting from now on.

I have talked to my DH a lot about his reluctance to have sex. He knows he can't hurt the baby he is just too freaked out by the fact I'm currently 2 people. I'll just have to deal. It's not the end of the world. I was just trying to vent a bit.

mayfateleadyou · January 2015

My SO made it clear he is a bit weirded out and our intimacy has dropped quite a bit but the moment he feels the baby kick him while we are in the act...yeah no more for me. But that's ok, lelo is a wonderful investment.

mrsalvidrez · January 2015

@RSupry‌ I wish I had better advice for you! Good luck figuring it all out, pregnancy can be so weird, lol.

scarbroughv · January 2015

To all the people who ASSUMED I was following/reading the passing of a child....no, I had not read that at all. That is very heartbreaking and a trajety. I didn't know what had happened. All I knew was that someone had posted a concern. And I saw that people were being mean that she had something she wanted some advice on. She got chewed out for wanting advice at not such a good time. I've NEVER in my life posted on any boards or discussions bc I've seen how people treat other people, and it's horrible. Yes, that was my very first post. I DO think people were being rude and immature. Do I still don't take back what I said. I said nothing mean or wrong. Just stated that she wanted some advice. Sure, I just noticed it was bad timing, but everyone assumed that she knew it was bad timing and like she didn't care about a sweet baby. People are posting that I don't care either, which is sad. Nobody knows me. I thought maybe a birth club board would be good for people, but so far, I've only seen judgment. That sweet baby Max that people have been taking about is soooo sad, I cannot imagine what the family and friends are going through. I'm so sorry if my post upset the mother or anyone who personally knows the family. I am just another human, wanting to connect with others, with advice with babies and such. Maybe I'll just search other websites where there are specific topics. So if I post a pregnancy concern, I won't get raided with mean comments. Are there other discussion boards on this website/app, that are more specific? I have never used them before.

jk3610 · January 2015

scarbroughv said:

To all the people who ASSUMED I was following/reading the passing of a child....no, I had not read that at all. That is very heartbreaking and a trajety. I didn't know what had happened. All I knew was that someone had posted a concern. And I saw that people were being mean that she had something she wanted some advice on. She got chewed out for wanting advice at not such a good time. I've NEVER in my life posted on any boards or discussions bc I've seen how people treat other people, and it's horrible. Yes, that was my very first post. I DO think people were being rude and immature. Do I still don't take back what I said. I said nothing mean or wrong. Just stated that she wanted some advice. Sure, I just noticed it was bad timing, but everyone assumed that she knew it was bad timing and like she didn't care about a sweet baby. People are posting that I don't care either, which is sad. Nobody knows me. I thought maybe a birth club board would be good for people, but so far, I've only seen judgment. That sweet baby Max that people have been taking about is soooo sad, I cannot imagine what the family and friends are going through. I'm so sorry if my post upset the mother or anyone who personally knows the family. I am just another human, wanting to connect with others, with advice with babies and such. Maybe I'll just search other websites where there are specific topics. So if I post a pregnancy concern, I won't get raided with mean comments. Are there other discussion boards on this website/app, that are more specific? I have never used them before.

QFP

scarbroughv · January 2015

Lol

redneckmomma25 · January 2015

I don't like that Scarborough liked my post....

scarbroughv · January 2015

Thank u @SharkFarts‌. I would like to use a discussion board. I clicked on the topic someone added. That's why I posted. I didn't read any others topics. You are right, I didn't even read all that was said on the thread. Just some of the comments to her innocent question got to me. I didn't know I needed to read all the other topics people posted. I just scrolled, and saw the sex frustration topic started. I wanted to see what answers people have for the original post. Then it got crazy. I feel some people are actually helpful. I don't feel like I need to go anywhere else, I'll take a look around and see how all this works. I've never used discussion boards before. Me, telling people to not post anything if it's not nice, is just me not understanding how all this works. Sorry, I don't know what I'm doing. I guess there are just some that don't think others issues are real concerns. I've realized that there are disagreements in comments/answers. I want to use a discussion board. And I want to add to discussions, and give any experience advise. And get advise. I know a teeny bit more now. Thank you

taahira · January 2015

scarbroughv said:
Thank u @SharkFarts‌. I would like to use a discussion board. I clicked on the topic someone added. That's why I posted. I didn't read any others topics. You are right, I didn't even read all that was said on the thread. Just some of the comments to her innocent question got to me. I didn't know I needed to read all the other topics people posted. I just scrolled, and saw the sex frustration topic started. I wanted to see what answers people have for the original post. Then it got crazy. I feel some people are actually helpful. I don't feel like I need to go anywhere else, I'll take a look around and see how all this works. I've never used discussion boards before. Me, telling people to not post anything if it's not nice, is just me not understanding how all this works. Sorry, I don't know what I'm doing. I guess there are just some that don't think others issues are real concerns. I've realized that there are disagreements in comments/answers. I want to use a discussion board. And I want to add to discussions, and give any experience advise. And get advise. I know a teeny bit more now. Thank you

@scarbourghv You responded to a thread without reading the full post, if you had taken the time to actually read what people had replied you would have seen why people were suggesting that that type of question was maybe bad timing, considering the loss an A15 Mama just experience. You then were completely rude and stand by your original comment even after you realized what was actually being said in this thread.
You surely won't be missed around here.

ally3242 · January 2015

scarbroughv said:

To all the people who ASSUMED I was following/reading the passing of a child....no, I had not read that at all. That is very heartbreaking and a trajety. I didn't know what had happened. All I knew was that someone had posted a concern. And I saw that people were being mean that she had something she wanted some advice on. She got chewed out for wanting advice at not such a good time. I've NEVER in my life posted on any boards or discussions bc I've seen how people treat other people, and it's horrible. Yes, that was my very first post. I DO think people were being rude and immature. Do I still don't take back what I said. I said nothing mean or wrong. Just stated that she wanted some advice. Sure, I just noticed it was bad timing, but everyone assumed that she knew it was bad timing and like she didn't care about a sweet baby. People are posting that I don't care either, which is sad. Nobody knows me. I thought maybe a birth club board would be good for people, but so far, I've only seen judgment. That sweet baby Max that people have been taking about is soooo sad, I cannot imagine what the family and friends are going through. I'm so sorry if my post upset the mother or anyone who personally knows the family. I am just another human, wanting to connect with others, with advice with babies and such. Maybe I'll just search other websites where there are specific topics. So if I post a pregnancy concern, I won't get raided with mean comments. Are there other discussion boards on this website/app, that are more specific? I have never used them before.

Your inability to spell is the real tragedy in this thread....

ktplusbby · January 2015

To whoever wanted to know what a WK was on the stupid question sunday thread follow @scarbroughv‌.

ally3242 · January 2015

For those jonesing CFA as their post l&d meal..I hope you don't deliver on a Sunday. I always crave CFA on Sundays.

Um, I posted this in the wrong thread. I blame sleep deprivation.

missab · January 2015

SharkFarts said:

ally3242 said:

For those jonesing CFA as their post l&d meal..I hope you don't deliver on a Sunday. I always crave CFA on Sundays.

Um, I posted this in the wrong thread. I blame sleep deprivation.

This thought crossed my mind the other day. I guess if that happened I'd have to settle for Five Guys.

Well this was a welcome mood-lightener!

specialsn0wflake · January 2015

SharkFarts said:

scarbroughv said:

Thank u @SharkFarts‌. I would like to use a discussion board. I clicked on the topic someone added. That's why I posted. I didn't read any others topics. You are right, I didn't even read all that was said on the thread. Just some of the comments to her innocent question got to me. I didn't know I needed to read all the other topics people posted. I just scrolled, and saw the sex frustration topic started. I wanted to see what answers people have for the original post. Then it got crazy. I feel some people are actually helpful. I don't feel like I need to go anywhere else, I'll take a look around and see how all this works. I've never used discussion boards before. Me, telling people to not post anything if it's not nice, is just me not understanding how all this works. Sorry, I don't know what I'm doing. I guess there are just some that don't think others issues are real concerns. I've realized that there are disagreements in comments/answers. I want to use a discussion board. And I want to add to discussions, and give any experience advise. And get advise. I know a teeny bit more now. Thank you

Since you're new to using forums, I would echo my advice to just lurk and read several threads. We definitely have a board culture and a manner of posting. It can take some getting used to. It's not like Yahoo Answers where someone asks a question and people just give answers. We have lots of dicussions here.

YESSSS. I wish people understood that. No one is waiting with bated breath to answer someones question.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

All of you women think fighting is the answer. Yes we are grieving but if you have nothing nice to say just don't say it at all. And I'm sure you all consider yourself "Christian". Ignorance is what keeps me away from these boards.

jk3610 · January 2015

emedina68 said:

All of you women think fighting is the answer. Yes we are grieving but if you have nothing nice to say just don't say it at all. And I'm sure you all consider yourself "Christian". Ignorance is what keeps me away from these boards.

Yay emedina is back! *said nobody*

ally3242 · January 2015

emedina68 said:
All of you women think fighting is the answer. Yes we are grieving but if you have nothing nice to say just don't say it at all. And I'm sure you all consider yourself "Christian". Ignorance is what keeps me away from these boards.

Actually no, a great deal of the women who are members of this community do not consider themselves Christians.

Want a personalized experience?

Sex frustration

Re: Sex frustration

Choose Another Board

Search Boards