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Adoption
CarolinaGirl2014
member
One year ago today
CarolinaGirl2014
member
in Adoption
One year ago today my water broke at my best friend's house. I called A's parents, drove home, packed my bags, showered, and headed to the hospital to begin the biggest journey of my life. I can't help but cry thinking about it and my naivety, but not necessarily from sadness. I was oblivious to the next 33 hours of labor about to occur, followed by the most incredible feeling of love I didn't know my heart could feel. I knew it would hurt, but I had no idea the depth of pain I would feel in giving away my right to be this beautiful girl's Mommy as well as the overwhelming joy I feel every day to be in her life. I can't believe I played a part in giving that amazing child life.
A is so incredibly happy, loved, and cared for. I feel honored that I also played a part in making that happen for her. Why I, of all people, was blessed with her I will never fully understand. But I thank God for it. I'm happy for the family that has grown over this week and the text A's Mom sent me saying "It is a very happy week. One year ago you brought a new life into this world and healed my broken heart. It's a week to celebrate."
Lastly, I am amazed at the healing I've felt in one year. I do grieve the loss of parenting A, but I feel joy when I think of her much, much more than anything else. My anger has been replaced by gratitude, and my loneliness with love and joy.
I know this is very AW and maybe blogish, but I wanted to post here and say thank you all. You have been a safe place for me to process and heal, and I thank you for that. Adoption is a bittersweet miracle.
Birthmom to A, 1/8- the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
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Re: One year ago today
Thank you all! :x