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June 2015 Moms
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Husband cheated and need advice

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Re: Husband cheated and need advice

  • jen66896689jen66896689 member
    I'm glad you and your husband are going to try to work it out. I'm also glad you believe him. It doesn't matter if anyone else believes him. I'm with those who say try to forgive if you can, and I like your tactic of letting him tell you everything and taking steps to get out if you catch him lying about his own voluntary info. Definitely schedule a marriage counseling session, though. A lot of people try to work through these big issues by themselves and nothing gets better because most of us can't diagnose and treat ourselves. Professionals are needed when you veer off course. It's not very expensive and can give you tools to communicate better and help your relationship in general. I hope YH learned his lesson and you can put this behind you and enjoy your new family. Best of luck!
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  • AmyCeeAmyCee member
    @trishparker819‌ hoping only the best. Sounds like you're doing everything right!

    And most doctors do an STD panel with the first bloodiest. Mine did.
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  • maddibayermaddibayer member
    I had kinda told my husband about this, by saying how horrible I felt for you and I just can't imagine! And his first reaction was there was more. When a girl sends something like that he said they probably already had done something. I don't want to make you feel worse! But that would be my thought too! I am so sorry this happened to you!! Especially in a time like this! I am sending all my T&Ps to you right now!!!
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  • atj13neatj13ne member
    I think you have plenty of great advice here, and I really have nothing else to add that hasnt already been said, i just wanted to say i went through this with the father of my first two children, it would get better for a short while, but he always went back to his old ways. So in my experience cheating to me is now unforgivable...but everyone is different, and i am so sorry i know the level of hurt and anxiety this causes, ps...inwas pg during a lot of the cheating...its terrible! I wish u so much luck and lots of hugs ur way.
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  • ooopswediditagainooopswediditagain member
    And I also want to add how incredibly sorry I am that you are going trough this. I can't imagine. I sure will pray for you.
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  • TrampslikeusTrampslikeus member
    edited January 2015
    AmyCee said:
    @trishparker819‌ hoping only the best. Sounds like you're doing everything right! And most doctors do an STD panel with the first bloodiest. Mine did.
    Right.  So most of us go forward assuming our husbands haven't been up in anyone else's business between the first visit and birth...     Even if I really wanted to give my husband the benefit of the doubt in this case, I still wouldn't bet my infants health on it.   

    image  image
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  • allrightmeowallrightmeow member
    OP Im sorry to see you are dealing with this.  A friend found great comfort and support on a site called 

    survivinginfidelity.com.  Good luck to you. 
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  • versitlegeniusversitlegenius member
    It's all up to how much you can live with. For me it would be hard to believe he wasn't ever intimate with her. I have a friend and her husband swore up and down that he never cheated on her and she had held onto this doubt for years so one day after six years she wakes him up in the middle of the night and asks him to tell her the truth and do he confesses to having sex with one woman and getting a bj from another. Moral of the story is I think men will lie when it's relatively recent and they think they would lose you but the truth will surface Years later when you feel you can't leave because of the investment etc. I have never been in your situation before but I would like to believe I could leave someone for that and if he really wants it to work he will do everything in his power to get you back.
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  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member
    I have to agree with others that are urging you to have a full STD panel done.  It isn't worth gambling your and your baby's future on this.  
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  • kimmarie1105kimmarie1105 member
    mrskblack11 said:

    ooopswediditagain said:

    I'm sorry but there is no reason ever for a grown adult to have snapchat. Snapchat is for children who are tryin to hide things from their parents etc. Grownups use simple text messaging. I would never trust an or woman for that matter using that ridiculous ap.

    I guess we could never be friends. I snapchat with my friends all the time. I find it amusing and fun. They love getting video clips of my dogs. I love seeing what my friends are up to without it being via text message.

    I also group text my friends on a daily basis. My group of grown up adult women all love that ridiculous app and will get a kick out of your comment when I screenshot it to them.
    You are not a disgusting pig who uses snap chat for amateur porn.
    I don't think this particular man should have a snap chat. That being said if I had to ban my husband from using such things, we really wouldn't have much of a marriage IMO.

    OP, I wish you the very best and I sincerely hope that your situation is the exception, not the rule. My only hope is that you don't go through this with blinders on. You must know deep down that your husband had some sort of sexual relations with this woman. If you would like to forgive that for the sake of trying to save your marriage that is your choice but please, don't be naive. He will only repeat his mistakes if he thinks he will get away with it.

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  • trishparker819trishparker819 member
    I already had a full panel STD test done and came out clean - forgot to put that in my update.
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  • allyshaaallyshaa member
    I'm sure you've heard this a million time but he's not gonna change.. I've dealt with SO cheating before, I'm too nice and always let him off the hook. About a month ago I came home from work to some girl at my house. Of course he denies everything.. She's just a friend.. Typical stuff he always says. And I fall for it every single time I always try to think the best I him, even when I know I shouldn't. Two days ago some of his friends came to me and said look we can't show you any proof but trust us when we say that he's still with her. I then asked for his phone and looked through it, of course found nothing. He denied it and I ONCE AGAIN actually believed him. Next day I get a fb message from this girl, who tells me everything. They never stopped talking. SO uses my car while I'm at work because his truck doesn't work and He doesn't have a job.. He took my car to her house where they got intimate luckily she started her period while they were In the middle of things. Absolutely disgusting to know I was having sex with him this whole time. I should've left the first time he cheated on me over a year ago. It's never stopped since then& now we have a baby together. Growing up my parents were never together and I don't want that for my son but in the same token I never want him to watch me get treated badly or for him to think it's okay to do anything that his dad has done to me.. Get out while you can, itll only get harder the longer you stay. And trust me when I say I know it's easier said then done.
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