---UO---

pnwlover12 · January 2015

theresat858 said:

So re:cio, my thing is: it isn't necessary for all babies!! And when dd1 was little it just felt wrong to me and all of dhs friends and colleagues were going on and on about how we had to sleep train her bc she wasn't sttn at 4 months old. She also wasn't gaining weight very quickly (low end of normal), so clearly cutting out two of her feedings per day didn't seem like a good idea to me. And I was the one dealing with it. Everyone said that if we didn't st, she wouldn't sttn...ever. Bullshit. My UO is that most kids will sttn when they are ready, sleep training or not. It might not be at 6 months. It might not be at 1 year. But it will happen without you having to ignore your screaming child.

But couldn't one also argue that could be said about anything? Sure, a child will eventually learn not to shit their pants, but does that mean you let them wear diapers until they are 7 years old, because eventually they will stop doing it?

I think part of a parent's role is guiding a child through things they don't know about or can't do themselves without a little assistance. I'm not saying you must let your child scream for hours just so you can "sttn" or to skip a feeding in favor of them sleeping when they need it for weight gain, but if you never let your baby fuss a little, how will you ever know if they are capable of self soothing or falling asleep on their own?

I guess my biggest opinion on this is - to each their own - BUT that doesn't give liberty to anyone to act better (or say their parenting style is better) than those who do it differently. So bottom line, do what you are comfortable with as a parent, just don't ride in on a high horse like it is the only way to do things.

MuffinMom14 · January 2015

Nicb13 said:

theresat858 said:

So re:cio, my thing is: it isn't necessary for all babies!! And when dd1 was little it just felt wrong to me and all of dhs friends and colleagues were going on and on about how we had to sleep train her bc she wasn't sttn at 4 months old. She also wasn't gaining weight very quickly (low end of normal), so clearly cutting out two of her feedings per day didn't seem like a good idea to me. And I was the one dealing with it. Everyone said that if we didn't st, she wouldn't sttn...ever. Bullshit. My UO is that most kids will sttn when they are ready, sleep training or not. It might not be at 6 months. It might not be at 1 year. But it will happen without you having to ignore your screaming child.

Well call me selfish but I'm not going to wait until my kid feels he/she is "ready" or have a kid that is over a year old and still not STTN. If I can do something to move things along that won't ruin him/her for life then you bet your ass that's what I'm going to do. Letting your LO cry for a few nights to learn to sleep better is not a big deal IMO.

This is sort of unrelated, but while reading this, I was reminded of another UO.

People say to wait until your kid is "ready" to potty train. And I understand that. But. Then. Why is it that so many people say "oh, my kid was potty trained at 1 (or 2)" and those people are like, in their 50s, and then I hear so many people who are my age and hunger who have kids who are 4 in diapers?

It seemed like just doing it worked back then. But then, I feel like somewhere there's a thing where if they aren't ready it's supposed to be damaging to them in some way? Maybe that's true and that's why I am the way I am, who knows?

MuffinMom14 · January 2015

Sometimes I feel like "experts" tell us what is and what isn't damaging to kids.

And the truth is, sometimes, kids are just assholes.

I know this, because I'm fairly certain nothing my mom did to me as a baby screwed me up. I'm just an asshole.*

*She screwed me up later, but not as a wee baby.

ETA: I shouldn't have split the first two into paragraphs, because it sounds like I'm sure kids are just assholes. It meant to say "Sometimes I feel like....kids are just assholes."

pnwlover12 · January 2015

SPurp13 said:

Nicb13 said:

theresat858 said:

So re:cio, my thing is: it isn't necessary for all babies!! And when dd1 was little it just felt wrong to me and all of dhs friends and colleagues were going on and on about how we had to sleep train her bc she wasn't sttn at 4 months old. She also wasn't gaining weight very quickly (low end of normal), so clearly cutting out two of her feedings per day didn't seem like a good idea to me. And I was the one dealing with it. Everyone said that if we didn't st, she wouldn't sttn...ever. Bullshit. My UO is that most kids will sttn when they are ready, sleep training or not. It might not be at 6 months. It might not be at 1 year. But it will happen without you having to ignore your screaming child.

Well call me selfish but I'm not going to wait until my kid feels he/she is "ready" or have a kid that is over a year old and still not STTN. If I can do something to move things along that won't ruin him/her for life then you bet your ass that's what I'm going to do. Letting your LO cry for a few nights to learn to sleep better is not a big deal IMO.

This is sort of unrelated, but while reading this, I was reminded of another UO.

People say to wait until your kid is "ready" to potty train. And I understand that. But. Then. Why is it that so many people say "oh, my kid was potty trained at 1 (or 2)" and those people are like, in their 50s, and then I hear so many people who are my age and hunger who have kids who are 4 in diapers?

It seemed like just doing it worked back then. But then, I feel like somewhere there's a thing where if they aren't ready it's supposed to be damaging to them in some way? Maybe that's true and that's why I am the way I am, who knows?

I think this is one of the biggest issues with parenting in today's society. Yes, our babies are the most precious things we will ever have and love, but they aren't glass. They won't break or need years of therapy from fussing a little here and there. I think sometimes we (parents in general) take the information we have and run with it too far and go over the top.

My baby had to cry for 5 minutes because I was in the shower?! I better call a psychatrist now.

golfingdarwinfish · January 2015

MrsCunningham22 said:

Purp is on a roll in the UOs today.

The only thing she's missing is abortion.... That would give her a bump UO bingo!

MuffinMom14 · January 2015

pnwlover12 said:

SPurp13 said:

Nicb13 said:

theresat858 said:

So re:cio, my thing is: it isn't necessary for all babies!! And when dd1 was little it just felt wrong to me and all of dhs friends and colleagues were going on and on about how we had to sleep train her bc she wasn't sttn at 4 months old. She also wasn't gaining weight very quickly (low end of normal), so clearly cutting out two of her feedings per day didn't seem like a good idea to me. And I was the one dealing with it. Everyone said that if we didn't st, she wouldn't sttn...ever. Bullshit. My UO is that most kids will sttn when they are ready, sleep training or not. It might not be at 6 months. It might not be at 1 year. But it will happen without you having to ignore your screaming child.

Well call me selfish but I'm not going to wait until my kid feels he/she is "ready" or have a kid that is over a year old and still not STTN. If I can do something to move things along that won't ruin him/her for life then you bet your ass that's what I'm going to do. Letting your LO cry for a few nights to learn to sleep better is not a big deal IMO.

This is sort of unrelated, but while reading this, I was reminded of another UO.

People say to wait until your kid is "ready" to potty train. And I understand that. But. Then. Why is it that so many people say "oh, my kid was potty trained at 1 (or 2)" and those people are like, in their 50s, and then I hear so many people who are my age and hunger who have kids who are 4 in diapers?

It seemed like just doing it worked back then. But then, I feel like somewhere there's a thing where if they aren't ready it's supposed to be damaging to them in some way? Maybe that's true and that's why I am the way I am, who knows?

I think this is one of the biggest issues with parenting in today's society. Yes, our babies are the most precious things we will ever have and love, but they aren't glass. They won't break or need years of therapy from fussing a little here and there. I think sometimes we (parents in general) take the information we have and run with it too far and go over the top.

My baby had to cry for 5 minutes because I was in the shower?! I better call a psychatrist now.

I'm pretty sure if my MIL knew I left the baby in her crib and ran 5 miles and showered on a completely different floor of my house, she would say "I will come at 5:30 in the morning to watch her." The baby was asleep. I had a baby monitor.

I can't let go of her packing APurp in the fucking carseat to pee. I just think it's hilarious. And people on this board have piped up to say they do it, and that's fine, but. It's like 'let's go for a drive....to the bathroom." Can you imagine her disappointment when she didn't go for a ride?

pnwlover12 · January 2015

SPurp13 said:

MonstoMommy said:

golfingdarwinfish said:

Sometimes I am shocked at the things that are not flamed here (or even get a reaction) that would 150% be flamed elsewhere.

Ok, I am sure people are going to jump my ass for this, but here goes: I find it interesting that you would say this because sometimes you say things that I think people would react to and they don't and I am amazed that people just let it slide. Now I know that usually you say really helpful and informative things and people (including me) respect that. And I think that is why they let it slide when you say things that come off as more abrasive than necessary. I agree with Purp, I think it is because with regulars it is easier to just let things go and not make a big deal about it. Generally, that is the position I take. I am not going to start some shit because generally I agree with the things you say. But I do think people let things you say slide a lot.
I should clarify: not really flame worthy opinions, just the way you say things to people.

I agree with the above.

There is a softer side to GDF that I think gets lost sometimes in the way things are worded. I'm blunt as fuck, too. I get it. But sometimes, I swear, it's like two different people posting. Sometimes everything's super playful, and I enjoy it. But then other times, it's very authoritative and blunt. And there's a need for both. I do get that. But on a board that often fluffs what we say and apologizes for opinions, it sticks out. No one says it. Because reg.

Actually, I think GDF is silly and playful on the FB. It's like night and day. I mean, don't apologize for being authoritative and blunt and smart ever. But I want you to be stupid sometimes. Just say something nonsensical. People get lady boners for Science GDF. I am the opposite.

Maybe my real UO is that sometimes, I'm like "dude, we get it, you're super smart and successful," and I sit on my side of the screen and eat my feelings in gummy bears.

Hey, in a related note, I'm working with my therapist about feelings of inadequacy when comparing myself to others. (How's that for a segue?)

On the flip side, no one should have to dumb themselves down to make anyone else feel better about themselves.

pnwlover12 · January 2015

I am really fucking loving today's UO. Let's debate people! I'm a bored SAHM. This is fucking thrilling to me.

MuffinMom14 · January 2015

pnwlover12 said:

SPurp13 said:

MonstoMommy said:

golfingdarwinfish said:

Sometimes I am shocked at the things that are not flamed here (or even get a reaction) that would 150% be flamed elsewhere.

Ok, I am sure people are going to jump my ass for this, but here goes: I find it interesting that you would say this because sometimes you say things that I think people would react to and they don't and I am amazed that people just let it slide. Now I know that usually you say really helpful and informative things and people (including me) respect that. And I think that is why they let it slide when you say things that come off as more abrasive than necessary. I agree with Purp, I think it is because with regulars it is easier to just let things go and not make a big deal about it. Generally, that is the position I take. I am not going to start some shit because generally I agree with the things you say. But I do think people let things you say slide a lot.
I should clarify: not really flame worthy opinions, just the way you say things to people.

I agree with the above.

There is a softer side to GDF that I think gets lost sometimes in the way things are worded. I'm blunt as fuck, too. I get it. But sometimes, I swear, it's like two different people posting. Sometimes everything's super playful, and I enjoy it. But then other times, it's very authoritative and blunt. And there's a need for both. I do get that. But on a board that often fluffs what we say and apologizes for opinions, it sticks out. No one says it. Because reg.

Actually, I think GDF is silly and playful on the FB. It's like night and day. I mean, don't apologize for being authoritative and blunt and smart ever. But I want you to be stupid sometimes. Just say something nonsensical. People get lady boners for Science GDF. I am the opposite.

Maybe my real UO is that sometimes, I'm like "dude, we get it, you're super smart and successful," and I sit on my side of the screen and eat my feelings in gummy bears.

Hey, in a related note, I'm working with my therapist about feelings of inadequacy when comparing myself to others. (How's that for a segue?)

On the flip side, no one should have to dumb themselves down to make anyone else feel better about themselves.

I don't think she should.

I think I actually do this, though.

pnwlover12 · January 2015

PurpleHippo19 said:

Homeschooling is completely and 100% for us (or so I think now, we'll see what happens). DH and I were both homeschooled, and we turned out just fine. I'm so thankful I was homeschooled and I loved it. I wouldn't have it any other way. And I am beyond stoked and excited to homeschool our children.

I don't think there is anything wrong with homeschooling, but I do think that kids need to be involved in activities outside of the home to learn life lessons - they won't always win, they can't always have it their way, sharing, accepting other ways of doing something, etc.

I could never home-school because I would suck at it. A lot.

golfingdarwinfish · January 2015

SPurp13 said:

Sometimes I feel like "experts" tell us what is and what isn't damaging to kids.

And the truth is, sometimes, kids are just assholes.

I know this, because I'm fairly certain nothing my mom did to me as a baby screwed me up. I'm just an asshole.*

*She screwed me up later, but not as a wee baby.

ETA: I shouldn't have split the first two into paragraphs, because it sounds like I'm sure kids are just assholes. It meant to say "Sometimes I feel like....kids are just assholes."

I'm not sure even the experts know enough to say that some of these things definitively harm or help a person (not a child - a person - like follow them into adulthood and tell me the negative effects X had on them).

But at the same time, so much of it is the specific child and specific parent. We come with specific pre-wiring thanks to nature, and nurture can set it off, turn it on, amplify it, subdue it, or do whatever the hell it does. There are few things (with the exception of things like sleeping on tummy leads to increased risk of SIDS) that we know definitively apply to all babies and infants in the same way. And I think even with SIDS some experts are now exploring the possibility of there being an underlying brain stem issue, which would mean some babies could handle it while others couldn't. Again, differs from one baby to another.

Plus, we are all fucked up to a certain degree. None of us are perfect. I wouldn't even go as far as to say, "I turned out okay." - because how the hell do I even judge that? Can we look at everything that's wrong with us, every insecurity, every bad habit, and attribute it to something our parents did? Maybe, maybe not. Regardless, the cycle is going to repeat itself and in 30 years our children will be sitting here having the same conversation we are, but maybe the red button topics will be a bit different.

I do believe we can over protect and over shelter our children. I believe that comes from a good place, but when it comes from a place of OMG I KNOW THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE FOR MY CHILD AND THEY WILL BE PERFECT BECAUSE I DID X, Y, & Z, that person is setting them self up for disappointment. We can give our children the tools that WE think they will need to succeed, but those tools may be slightly different for each child, and no parent is going to be able to know exactly which tools and to which degree their child will need them. Not to mention the fact that "success" and "I turned out okay/great/fantastic/I'm awesome." are all subjective.

pnwlover12 · January 2015

golfingdarwinfish said:

SPurp13 said:

Sometimes I feel like "experts" tell us what is and what isn't damaging to kids.

And the truth is, sometimes, kids are just assholes.

I know this, because I'm fairly certain nothing my mom did to me as a baby screwed me up. I'm just an asshole.*

*She screwed me up later, but not as a wee baby.

ETA: I shouldn't have split the first two into paragraphs, because it sounds like I'm sure kids are just assholes. It meant to say "Sometimes I feel like....kids are just assholes."

I'm not sure even the experts know enough to say that some of these things definitively harm or help a person (not a child - a person - like follow them into adulthood and tell me the negative effects X had on them).

But at the same time, so much of it is the specific child and specific parent. We come with specific pre-wiring thanks to nature, and nurture can set it off, turn it on, amplify it, subdue it, or do whatever the hell it does. There are few things (with the exception of things like sleeping on tummy leads to increased risk of SIDS) that we know definitively apply to all babies and infants in the same way. And I think even with SIDS some experts are now exploring the possibility of there being an underlying brain stem issue, which would mean some babies could handle it while others couldn't. Again, differs from one baby to another.

Plus, we are all fucked up to a certain degree. None of us are perfect. I wouldn't even go as far as to say, "I turned out okay." - because how the hell do I even judge that? Can we look at everything that's wrong with us, every insecurity, every bad habit, and attribute it to something our parents did? Maybe, maybe not. Regardless, the cycle is going to repeat itself and in 30 years our children will be sitting here having the same conversation we are, but maybe the red button topics will be a bit different.

I do believe we can over protect and over shelter our children. I believe that comes from a good place, but when it comes from a place of OMG I KNOW THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE FOR MY CHILD AND THEY WILL BE PERFECT BECAUSE I DID X, Y, & Z, that person is setting them self up for disappointment. We can give our children the tools that WE think they will need to succeed, but those tools may be slightly different for each child, and no parent is going to be able to know exactly which tools and to which degree their child will need them. Not to mention the fact that "success" and "I turned out okay/great/fantastic/I'm awesome." are all subjective.

Yes. To all of it.
=D>

golfingdarwinfish · January 2015

SPurp13 said:

I think I actually do this, though.

@Spurp13

Then you should start introducing yourself to people as, "I'm @SPurp13 and I'm fucking smart and awesome at what I do." rather than proactively telling them that you're not usually "fat".

[Deleted User] · January 2015

pnwlover12 said:

PurpleHippo19 said:

Homeschooling is completely and 100% for us (or so I think now, we'll see what happens). DH and I were both homeschooled, and we turned out just fine. I'm so thankful I was homeschooled and I loved it. I wouldn't have it any other way. And I am beyond stoked and excited to homeschool our children.

I don't think there is anything wrong with homeschooling, but I do think that kids need to be involved in activities outside of the home to learn life lessons - they won't always win, they can't always have it their way, sharing, accepting other ways of doing something, etc.

I could never home-school because I would suck at it. A lot.

I hate that homeschooling has gotten to be so easy for some and isn't taken seriously. For example, I had cousins that quit publicschool in 5th grade and 10th grade to be "home-schooled." Their parents never taught them anything and the state couldn't do anything about it because they filed all of the correct paperwork.

Also, my step mom just let my little sister quit high school in the middle of her SENIOR YEAR so she could be home-schooled. Because she got an F in one class and decided she was embarrassed and didn't want to go back.

My step mom travels around with her boyfriend of the month because he thinks he's going to be a famous country singer. Sooo I'm sure she isn't really going to teach her anything. I'm so pissed she let my sister ruin her last year of high school.

vrj0522 · January 2015

@SPurp13 - The reason for waiting until a kid is ready to potty train really is more for the parent than the child. If you try to potty train before they are ready you will spend many weeks or months of accidents and frustration. If you wait until they are ready, the process will be much easier. However, if the kid is 4 and not potty trained, the parent definitely missed the boat.

andrieya · January 2015

People put the baby in the car seat to shower???

golfingdarwinfish · January 2015

andrieya said:

People put the baby in the car seat to shower???

I know people who bring the bouncer in the bathroom, but not the car seat!

golfingdarwinfish · January 2015

vrj0522 said:

@SPurp13 - The reason for waiting until a kid is ready to potty train really is more for the parent than the child. If you try to potty train before they are ready you will spend many weeks or months of accidents and frustration. If you wait until they are ready, the process will be much easier. However, if the kid is 4 and not potty trained, the parent definitely missed the boat.

I've never potty trained so I don't know, but I thought that a child can actually regress if they are potty trained too early?

lrobi13 · January 2015

SPurp13 said:

snip
I can't let go of her packing APurp in the fucking carseat to pee. I just think it's hilarious. And people on this board have piped up to say they do it, and that's fine, but. It's like 'let's go for a drive....to the bathroom." Can you imagine her disappointment when she didn't go for a ride?

Literally Rachel Zoe animated GIF

and for real laughed out loud!!

and duh, that is what the bouncer is for....

pnwlover12 · January 2015

golfingdarwinfish said:

vrj0522 said:

@SPurp13 - The reason for waiting until a kid is ready to potty train really is more for the parent than the child. If you try to potty train before they are ready you will spend many weeks or months of accidents and frustration. If you wait until they are ready, the process will be much easier. However, if the kid is 4 and not potty trained, the parent definitely missed the boat.

I've never potty trained so I don't know, but I thought that a child can actually regress if they are potty trained too early?

Setting an arbitrary age for potty training is so difficult for me to understand. I'm sure it is because my daughter is who 3 years old and some change is still not potty trained - and it is not for lack of trying on our part. She just won't do it. The other day, she peed 2x in the toilet willingly, and since then - nothing. I cannot get her to do it consistently. I still take her to the potty, remind her we need to try, offer incentives, let her be diaper-free, let her wear undies, bribes, stickers, gummy bears, you name it, I've tried it. What else am I supposed to do?!

pnwlover12 · January 2015

theresat858 said:

I don't get homeschooling. I didn't have one teacher for all subjects. I don't think a single person can be enough of an expert in all subjects to teach them well. I think it is irresponsible to not let your child learn things from someone who spent time learning not only the subject but also how to teach it. Like, I got an A in quantum mechanics. But I couldn't explain that shit to anyone. So what makes random-mom qualified to teach biology and chemistry and history and English and algebra?

good points.

vrj0522 · January 2015

golfingdarwinfish said:

vrj0522 said:

@SPurp13 - The reason for waiting until a kid is ready to potty train really is more for the parent than the child. If you try to potty train before they are ready you will spend many weeks or months of accidents and frustration. If you wait until they are ready, the process will be much easier. However, if the kid is 4 and not potty trained, the parent definitely missed the boat.

I've never potty trained so I don't know, but I thought that a child can actually regress if they are potty trained too early?

Definitely. Even children who are potty trained when ready can have regressions but it's more likely if the kid was not really ready.

golfingdarwinfish · January 2015

Nicb13 said:

theresat858 said:

I don't get homeschooling. I didn't have one teacher for all subjects. I don't think a single person can be enough of an expert in all subjects to teach them well. I think it is irresponsible to not let your child learn things from someone who spent time learning not only the subject but also how to teach it. Like, I got an A in quantum mechanics. But I couldn't explain that shit to anyone. So what makes random-mom qualified to teach biology and chemistry and history and English and algebra? Eta: and these kids will likely suffer in college or the real world from not having the knowledge they should have gotten in high school. Not even mentioning the whole social aspect.

I sort of agree with this. Not the "irresponsible" part but I also don't get how one person can teach ALL the subjects to their kids. You would either have to just read from lesson books to your kids or know all the shit and I doubt it's the latter.

My issue is when homeschooling is done to immerse the child in some sort of dogma so that they are not exposed to ethical and social ideas other than those of his/her parents and the people with which they associate. I feel like that's ignorance breeding ignorance.

And I am by no means saying all parents who home school do it for that reason; I judge those who do.

pnwlover12 · January 2015

golfingdarwinfish said:

Nicb13 said:

theresat858 said:

I don't get homeschooling. I didn't have one teacher for all subjects. I don't think a single person can be enough of an expert in all subjects to teach them well. I think it is irresponsible to not let your child learn things from someone who spent time learning not only the subject but also how to teach it. Like, I got an A in quantum mechanics. But I couldn't explain that shit to anyone. So what makes random-mom qualified to teach biology and chemistry and history and English and algebra? Eta: and these kids will likely suffer in college or the real world from not having the knowledge they should have gotten in high school. Not even mentioning the whole social aspect.

I sort of agree with this. Not the "irresponsible" part but I also don't get how one person can teach ALL the subjects to their kids. You would either have to just read from lesson books to your kids or know all the shit and I doubt it's the latter.

My issue is when homeschooling is done to immerse the child in some sort of dogma so that they are not exposed to ethical and social ideas other than those of his/her parents and the people with which they associate. I feel like that's ignorance breeding ignorance.

And I am by no means saying all parents who home school do it for that reason; I judge those who do.

Yes!!! Oh so much yes to the bolded. Like, I'm going to homeschool my daughter so she doesn't learn about science (along the lines of the big bang theory, etc.) or so she never meets a boy and has sex!

pnwlover12 · January 2015

Ooh I have a UO.

I hate when people present an idea and use blogs or random websites as their source...

I could start my own website today called - www.howtoliveyourlifewithoutevergettinganydisease.com
and some moron out there would believe everything I say.

Blogs are not evidence of anything.

bumpuser10309732 · January 2015

@SPurp13‌ I lol'd at your baby thinking she's going on a drive but instead goes to the bathroom

MrsSinner402 · January 2015

pnwlover12 said:
Ooh I have a UO.

I hate when people present an idea and use blogs or random websites as their source...

I could start my own website today called - www.howtoliveyourlifewithoutevergettinganydisease.com
and some moron out there would believe everything I say.

Blogs are not evidence of anything.

I wasn't posting that link as evidence to why I was right, just as an article that changed my opinion of something.

pnwlover12 · January 2015

MrsSinner402 said:

Ooh I have a UO.

I hate when people present an idea and use blogs or random websites as their source...

I could start my own website today called - www.howtoliveyourlifewithoutevergettinganydisease.com
and some moron out there would believe everything I say.

Blogs are not evidence of anything.
I wasn't posting that link as evidence to why I was right, just as an article that changed my opinion of something.

Totally wasn't directed at you sinner! At no one in particular, actually. It was just something that came to mind that I've been meaning to talk about on UO and always forget.

MrsSinner402 · January 2015

scottysgirl77 said:
Everyone is really defensive and taking things personally today. I agree with GDF, let's all open up a bottle of wine. It's not drinking by yourself if your drinking with your internet friends!

I dont see anyone getting defensive or taking things personally? Its just been a good debate with no butthurt that I've seen.

ETA but I'll still take the wine!

vrj0522 · January 2015

MrsSinner402 said:

Everyone is really defensive and taking things personally today. I agree with GDF, let's all open up a bottle of wine. It's not drinking by yourself if your drinking with your internet friends!
I dont see anyone getting defensive or taking things personally? Its just been a good debate with no butthurt that I've seen. ETA but I'll still take the wine!

Agree. I think this is one of the best UOs we've had because people are disagreeing about some good subjects but no one is being offensive nor taking offense.

Raesofsunshine1 · January 2015

pnwlover12 said:

golfingdarwinfish said:

vrj0522 said:

@SPurp13 - The reason for waiting until a kid is ready to potty train really is more for the parent than the child. If you try to potty train before they are ready you will spend many weeks or months of accidents and frustration. If you wait until they are ready, the process will be much easier. However, if the kid is 4 and not potty trained, the parent definitely missed the boat.

I've never potty trained so I don't know, but I thought that a child can actually regress if they are potty trained too early?

Setting an arbitrary age for potty training is so difficult for me to understand. I'm sure it is because my daughter is who 3 years old and some change is still not potty trained - and it is not for lack of trying on our part. She just won't do it. The other day, she peed 2x in the toilet willingly, and since then - nothing. I cannot get her to do it consistently. I still take her to the potty, remind her we need to try, offer incentives, let her be diaper-free, let her wear undies, bribes, stickers, gummy bears, you name it, I've tried it. What else am I supposed to do?!

I loved this post because my daughter is the same way. Shes 2 1/2 tho but everyones like "shes smart! She should get it easily!" Yes, my kid is smart. She just doesnt like to pee in the potty.

pnwlover12 · January 2015

Wasn't there talk on the board a long time ago about a parenting style that doesn't use the word "no"?

This still baffles me.

MrsSinner402 · January 2015

pnwlover12 said:
Wasn't there talk on the board a long time ago about a parenting style that doesn't use the word "no"?

This still baffles me.

Bahaha. That's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. What do they say instead?! Or do they just give them everything they want?

Saragoeswest · January 2015

re: homeschool

A lot of times when homeschool kids reach high school courses they go to classes or co-ops with other homeschool kids taught by someone who is more of an expert in that area. Sometimes it's a current or former educator. Or they follow curriculum written by experts and their parents are more of a guide, rather than an instructor.

pnwlover12 · January 2015

MrsSinner402 said:

Wasn't there talk on the board a long time ago about a parenting style that doesn't use the word "no"?

This still baffles me.
Bahaha. That's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. What do they say instead?! Or do they just give them everything they want?

Right? I think not making your child share was also talked about. Two concepts I am not on board with at all.

pnwlover12 · January 2015

Nicb13 said:

MrsSinner402 said:

Wasn't there talk on the board a long time ago about a parenting style that doesn't use the word "no"?

This still baffles me.
Bahaha. That's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. What do they say instead?! Or do they just give them everything they want?

Kids get used to hearing "no" and like all other things...they start to block you out. Experts do recommend that parents use a word other than "no" but fuck, that's not always easy!
I also read some article that said parents use the phrase "good job" too much with their kids and they shouldn't say it so often. Fuck. We can't do anything right.

I can understand using other verbiage besides just "no", or finding ways to explain why they can't do it..but if I'm recalling correctly, someone shared an article along the lines of how using the word no stifles a child or something to that effect.

8-|

AmandaJean12 · January 2015

pnwlover12 said:

Wasn't there talk on the board a long time ago about a parenting style that doesn't use the word "no"?

This still baffles me.

A family friend of my husband does this. You are not allowed to say "no" to their children. You must "redirect" them. And these are not tiny children, these are grade schoolers.

I had to fake cough to not laugh in their face when this was explained to me. I really thought it was a joke at first.

P.S. They are little beasts

golfingdarwinfish · January 2015

Nicb13 said:

MrsSinner402 said:

Everyone is really defensive and taking things personally today. I agree with GDF, let's all open up a bottle of wine. It's not drinking by yourself if your drinking with your internet friends!
I dont see anyone getting defensive or taking things personally? Its just been a good debate with no butthurt that I've seen. ETA but I'll still take the wine!

This. These UO's are awesome. Finally.

@nicb13

But can we still have the wine?

MrsSinner402 · January 2015

Nicb13 said:
Mmmmm

I'm debating between Sour Patch Kids or a glass of wine.

Jennifer18131 · January 2015

MrsSinner402 said:

Nicb13 said:
Mmmmm
I'm debating between Sour Patch Kids or a glass of wine.

BOTH

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