Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: ---UO---
Edited:spelling
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
YESS!! All this cio bullshit gives me the giggles because my kids screams his head off even if I am holding and "soothing" him" .
Bottle - check
Clean butt - check
Gad drops - check
pacifier - check
white noise - check
Sometimes he just cries. He has been examined numerous times by the pedi (always the perfect angel there) and sleeps great and poops plenty.
So I guess letting him cry for five minuets in the swing is ok...
eta...he is not an angle...
I'm not trying to change your mind but you haven't been there yet, so you don't know what you'll end up doing. Sure, your LO STTN right now, and luckily mine does too but one day a few months from now they might not. Regressions happen and when your baby is full, has a clean diaper and is just crying from exhaustion and needs to sleep, there are only so many times you can go into their room to soothe them or "cuddle". Yes, I love to cuddle DD and do everything I can for her when she's crying but it's a whole different ball game when they are a bit older, and if you want to soothe them every time they wake and want you, then go for it. You might have a lot of sleepless nights though.
Older babies will wake up in the night and just want mom or dad and if you are down for that multiple times a night then cool. I was not with DS. I like sleep and he's just fine now
To clarify, I don't agree with leaving your baby to cry for 45 minutes or an hour or anything crazy like that but I am not opposed to a little bit of crying because I DON'T think it scars them for life.
----------------------------------Yes, a little crying is fine when all avenues have been taken. I definitely wont be dropping everything and picking her up after her first sob. But I feel like there's a line there. Like you said the 45 minutes. DD cries when she's tired and sometimes I'll put her in her swing and she will fuss for a minute or two then zonk out. I guess when I hear the term Cry It Out I associate it with DHs parents telling me sometimes they would have to just put the kid in the crib and shut the door and let them cry for a long period of time.. and I've never understood how someone could do that. This article really changed my way of thinking about the method: https://xoxmommy.com/2014/10/16/not-cry-it-out/
So, to each their own. And if by CIO you mean just a few minutes here and there and not just letting your baby scream his head off for a long period of time, (which I may have just assumed, and that's asshole-ish of me), then I'll take of my judgey pants and run around in my undies.
Yes! See, the bolded is where I've been sort of misinformed due to my ILs talking about it (see my last post). To me, fussing and crying are definitely two totally different levels! Maybe I'll refer to it as the Fuss It Out method instead? FIO.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
Can this be APurp's new nickname?!
I'm not trying to change your mind but you haven't been there yet, so you don't know what you'll end up doing. Sure, your LO STTN right now, and luckily mine does too but one day a few months from now they might not. Regressions happen and when your baby is full, has a clean diaper and is just crying from exhaustion and needs to sleep, there are only so many times you can go into their room to soothe them or "cuddle". Yes, I love to cuddle DD and do everything I can for her when she's crying but it's a whole different ball game when they are a bit older, and if you want to soothe them every time they wake and want you, then go for it. You might have a lot of sleepless nights though.
Older babies will wake up in the night and just want mom or dad and if you are down for that multiple times a night then cool. I was not with DS. I like sleep and he's just fine now
To clarify, I don't agree with leaving your baby to cry for 45 minutes or an hour or anything crazy like that but I am not opposed to a little bit of crying because I DON'T think it scars them for life.
Ok to me going in and patting your kid saying I'm here but you're staying in bed makes sense but I guess I dint call that CIO. CIO to me is the person that told me at 830 they shut off the baby monitor and go to bed until morning. Yeah I legit had someone tell me that. X(TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
Lmao
---------------------
Yeah that person can eat a bag of dicks. That makes me ragey.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
Yes, a little crying is fine when all avenues have been taken. I definitely wont be dropping everything and picking her up after her first sob. But I feel like there's a line there. Like you said the 45 minutes. DD cries when she's tired and sometimes I'll put her in her swing and she will fuss for a minute or two then zonk out. I guess when I hear the term Cry It Out I associate it with DHs parents telling me sometimes they would have to just put the kid in the crib and shut the door and let them cry for a long period of time.. and I've never understood how someone could do that. This article really changed my way of thinking about the method: https://xoxmommy.com/2014/10/16/not-cry-it-out/
So, to each their own. And if by CIO you mean just a few minutes here and there and not just letting your baby scream his head off for a long period of time, (which I may have just assumed, and that's asshole-ish of me), then I'll take of my judgey pants and run around in my undies.
Not important or relevant, but I read this as "I'll take off my judgey pants and cry in my undies."
----------------
You're welcome for the mental image.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
Well call me selfish but I'm not going to wait until my kid feels he/she is "ready" or have a kid that is over a year old and still not STTN. If I can do something to move things along that won't ruin him/her for life then you bet your ass that's what I'm going to do. Letting your LO cry for a few nights to learn to sleep better is not a big deal IMO.