Quick history - I had an epidural with #1, natural birth in the hospital with #2, and homebirths with #3 and #4. I absolutely loved my HB experiences and midwives, but the problem is that my MWs are an hour and a half away and because my last labor happened so quickly, they didn't make it in time. They were on the phone with my best friend (who is also a doula) through the entire delivery and then showed up about 20 minutes after the birth.
That experience freaked DH out and he said he is no longer comfortable with a HB unless I can guarantee him that the midwives would be there when I deliver. I told him I can't guarantee that any more than I can guarantee we would make it to the hospital in time if we choose to go that route (which is a legitimate concern of mine - if we would have been planning a hospital birth last time, I probably would have delivered either in the car on the way there or while walking into the ER).
I am pregnant with #5 and have three options as far as I can see:
1 - Have another HB. There is no guarantee that my labor will be as fast again and I would rather be prepared to have one at home than prepare for a hospital birth and accidentally deliver at home or in the car without supplies on hand. There are no closer MWs who will deliver at home.
2 - Drive 20 miles north to the only hospital in the area with CNMs delivering. My doula friends say that I would love these midwives and probably have a great experience. But.....if I'm scared about quick labors, I'm not sure that driving 20 miles to the hospital on the highway is a good plan.
3 - Deliver at the hospital that is less than five minutes away with an OB. There is only one there that I would even consider letting touch me and I know that even then it would be a fight, as I've heard horror stories from my doula friend.
Options 2 and 3 mean no waterbirth option at all. Also, there are no birth centers close to me at all either.
What would you do?
Re: WWYD - To HB or not to HB??
Now, I was two weeks overdue at that point, so I should have known better and told the MWs to rush at the first call. Now I know.
I called my MWs I used with #3 and #4 today and we're going to schedule an appointment at 12 weeks to discuss all of DH's fears. If by the end of the appointment he still isn't on board, I'm hoping they will advise me on how best to get the experience I want at the hospital and I'll probably go with option 2.
My Ovulation Chart
I just relied on their frequency (every 3 min for 45 min) to determine when to phone my midwife. Had I remained skeptical about whether it was labor and waited until I knew for sure, she wouldn't have made it. I really doubted I was in labor when I contacted her, but I was hopeful. And I knew that if I wanted a water birth that I needed to get things ready once I realized they were regular. I still was not convinced I was in real labor (thinking prodromal) 15 min before his birth. My midwife also encouraged laboring in the water to help slow it down some. So that and the cervical lip helped slow it down to where it was possible to experience the process.
I think we've pretty much decided to go ahead with the HB again. We'll meet with my MWs at 12 weeks to make sure I'm still a good candidate. It seems like the only option I am comfortable with at this time and I know DH will come around. I compromised with him and told him that if I end up delivering before the midwives make it and they are a long way off, he has my permission to call the paramedics just in case. Seems like a reasonable compromise.