Who else is having your kids in the room when you give birth??

summermom123 · January 2015

My daughter will be 13 months old, so I'm gonna go with...nope.

sschwege · January 2015

We are having a hospital birth, so it's not possible anyway, but even if it was that would be a 'no'. DD was 2 1/4 when DS was born and knowing her and how sensitive she was back then I actually wouldn't even let her come to the hospital after. It bothered her to see me even lying down, like relaxing on the couch, she thought something was wrong and she cried at the MW appointments I took her to because she thought I was being hurt, so I knew the hospital even afterward would be traumatic. No, I don't want to be brave for my kids and I worry what if something went wrong.

I do know a few people who were there for their siblings' births, so perhaps that would help sort of prepare them.

1) My two older cousins (they were probably 10 & 8) it was a HB. It got to be too much for them with all that their mother was going through, so my Aunt took them for a walk and when they returned baby was born. I'm glad you will have plenty of support people for your children!

2) A woman in my Hypnobirthing class was at the birthing center when her sister was born, she was 6 at the time. She kind of had mixed feelings about it, thought it was cool, but also scary. She said the main thing that scared her was the placenta, she said she was not prepared for that at all and it really stayed with her.

3) A neighbor of mine was in the hospital room when her brother was born, she was 10. It didn't sound like a positive experience for her, basically she said she hid in the corner until a kind nurse took her under wing, explained all that was going on and let her know her mom was OK.

gotdiesel2007 · January 2015

Not unless I can't find anyone I trust to watch them. Being 4,000 miles away from family makes things difficult.

mkjbw&+1 · January 2015

I have asked both my kids if they want to be apart of the birth and both are all for it. My son will be 9 yrs old and my daughter will be 7 yrs old. Both know what happens in a vaginal and c section birth, because we are a open family about birth. If there are complications my aunt and mom will step in and care for them. They understand that complications can happen and love spending time with family so dad and I leaving to go have a c section or other medical interventions done to have the baby they would be more curious about what's going on than worried. I'm not really worried about them being scared or concerned about any noises and things that happen in birth either. Even if they were younger if they wanted to be there it would be fine with me. We believe that making birth a normal thing not to be feared our daughter will not be afraid when she has her own children and our son will be a amazing father and support his wife even better when they have kids. I find it concerning the amount of fear that I read on here about birth. Also that many say that child birth is no place for children. Am I the only one that finds that statement contradicting and laughable. You do know you are having a child right?

anfranklin2 · January 2015

Bonus son will be 5 and there's no freaking way. We won't get him for probably the last 3 weeks in June until after I deliver. He'll stay with his mom and other bonus mom. Once I go into labor well let them know, and they may bring him down if it's a weekend, or wait until the next available weekend.

I don't need him seeing me in any pain, and he currently believes you have babies by "going to the dr, and they help you poop it out". Yessir, that's what we'll stick with for now. He's not too far off, and I don't think he needs to know any more than that. Personally, the only person that will be in the actual room during pushing is H. Everyone else will be in waiting room. I don't care how "natural" it is or that it's the "miracle of life" I don't want anyone to see a baby come out of my vag except the dr that needs to.

sschwege · January 2015

mkjbw&+1 said:

I have asked both my kids if they want to be apart of the birth and both are all for it. My son will be 9 yrs old and my daughter will be 7 yrs old. Both know what happens in a vaginal and c section birth, because we are a open family about birth. If there are complications my aunt and mom will step in and care for them. They understand that complications can happen and love spending time with family so dad and I leaving to go have a c section or other medical interventions done to have the baby they would be more curious about what's going on than worried. I'm not really worried about them being scared or concerned about any noises and things that happen in birth either. Even if they were younger if they wanted to be there it would be fine with me. We believe that making birth a normal thing not to be feared our daughter will not be afraid when she has her own children and our son will be a amazing father and support his wife even better when they have kids. I find it concerning the amount of fear that I read on here about birth. Also that many say that child birth is no place for children. Am I the only one that finds that statement contradicting and laughable. You do know you are having a child right?

Honestly, I did Hypnobirthing with both babies and a big part of it is not being afraid. Fear creates tension which creates pain, that type of thing. At my 6w postpartum check my MW actually asked me if I had felt anything, that's how calm my birth was. Please understand I'm not trying to brag, just merely painting the picture of what my previous births have looked like. Even with all that, I am an adult I can understand what is going on. I just don't understand how you prepare a 4 & 2 year old for that. I mean why did my daughter cry at every MW appointment I took her to? I don't know, for some reason she thought they were hurting me, there was no convincing her otherwise. So yes, I know I am having a child, but my job is also to protect my older children and I know my children well enough to know that the delivery room is not the place for them.

Perhaps if my children were much older I would entertain the possibility.

bumpuser8571475 · January 2015

Yea no. DD will be just turning 2 so I don't think it's something she should experience.

ifwisheswerefishes · January 2015

If DD was older, absolutely. But since she's two, not only would the hospital not allow it, but she would be into everything and way too clingy to me for me to be able to give birth. But when she's in her pre-teens and if she wants to be present? Absolutely!

jr0310 · January 2015

My stepson is 10 and while he will be at the hospital, I don't want him in the room. He is old enough to understand this is a process millions of women go through, but still too young to see me in so much pain and not get emotional.

My dh will be in the room. I haven't decided where my mom and MIL will be. I'm leaning towards my mom in the room too, but we are very close. My stepson can be in the waiting room with my dad or something, and then come in to see the baby right away.

JuneBug0611 · January 2015

For me this is a no way, BUT... I was born at home and my mom and dad had my brother and sister (3 and 6) brought in to watch when mom pushed. (I think someone else was watching them in another room til then.) They weren't scarred by the experience, and my mom isn't insane, so I guess this is a totally legit choice. Just not one I'm making. My DD is very sensitive and couldn't handle seeing me in pain, and I am planning on natural childbirth again with this one ... and with all my screaming with DD, no one in the room questioned that I felt EVERYTHING happening that birth!

. DD couldn't handle watching that. But if my prior birth had been different maybe I would consider it.

LadyAnnibal · January 2015

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LadyAnnibal · January 2015

Nope. My 5 year old SS would be talking way too much and I'd probably end up being very shitty towards him.

Cfabretti2 · January 2015

My daughter is 11 I was thinking about it.

soccsm13 · January 2015

That's allowed? It would never even occur to me. My son will be 2 and 4 months and he's a giant ball of energy so that's not happening! Plus he doesn't need to see that.

yelah250 · January 2015

My daughter will be almost 9 and my son 7...I will be at home laboring as long as possible and it's summer vacation so they will be home for all of that. I don't think I really want to bring them w/ me to the hospital. I think it would stress me worrying about them and how they were handling it. I was pretty frantic w/ pain during transition and was mean to my husband (lol) so I wouldn't want to be mean to my kids during that time and I don't think I can promise myself I wouldn't be. Lol. Just being honest.

tiamiaxx · January 2015

Hope not! DS will be just over 2.5. My first labour was 4.5 hrs from first contraction as was my sisters and my mum had a few under 2 hr labours so I'm worried that we won't have time to take him anywhere! I guess someone will have to meet us there.
Last time I went from manageable 5 min apart contractions straight to 30 sec, it was very traumatic even for DH and I couldn't imagine my son having to see that. He gets sad when I have bad ms and brings me my water bottle, asks me how I'm feeling and kisses me to make me better so I think it would be horrible for him.

rufus5 · January 2015

My son is a mature 4.75. Im leaning toward yes. It's important, and in other cultures, not so radical. He's seen plenty of goat births, I don't think is going to be much different.

dnjmommy · January 2015

mkjbw&+1 said:
I have asked both my kids if they want to be apart of the birth and both are all for it. My son will be 9 yrs old and my daughter will be 7 yrs old. Both know what happens in a vaginal and c section birth, because we are a open family about birth. If there are complications my aunt and mom will step in and care for them. They understand that complications can happen and love spending time with family so dad and I leaving to go have a c section or other medical interventions done to have the baby they would be more curious about what's going on than worried. I'm not really worried about them being scared or concerned about any noises and things that happen in birth either. Even if they were younger if they wanted to be there it would be fine with me. We believe that making birth a normal thing not to be feared our daughter will not be afraid when she has her own children and our son will be a amazing father and support his wife even better when they have kids. I find it concerning the amount of fear that I read on here about birth. Also that many say that child birth is no place for children. Am I the only one that finds that statement contradicting and laughable. You do know you are having a child right?</blockquote

This.

Danious · January 2015

No way. I plan to send my 5 year old to stay with my parents as soon as labor starts getting bad. He's too sensitive and while he'll know what's happening and will knows in the abstract sense that having a baby is hard and painful, I don't want him seeing it. Or resenting the new baby because he's watching my pain.

juliekay25 · January 2015

I'm not judging anyone's decision as this is my first child. But I'd think that'd be kinda traumatizing for a young child who might not understand fully what's going on. I mean a teenager maybebto scare her into not having sex for a long while but not little ones. Just my opinion. Do whatever you feel is right for you.

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