I wouldn't use it, but this problem could have been easily avoided. I think for this reason it's best to just avoid close friends/family members telling you their top name(s) if you think you'll be tempted to use it and if the person would be upset by that.
Um she's 20... She's a child ... Her mind is going to change 10 times before she is old enough to think about babies. Besides, she'll have a husband one day she'd have to negotiate with.
1. I would probably pick a different name. I do think it's cruddy of her to make a big deal about a name when not TTC, but it's not worth the drama to pick the name she loves.
2. I really don't think the OP owes an apology for joking about hoping for a boy. We all have our struggles. We had infertility prior to our first as have many of my friends. When we got pregnant with our second, I would have been thrilled to have either sex, but was hoping I might get a girl someday. We are human beings with complex emotions who are capable of feeling on many different levels. Thinking, "Hey it would be neat to get that girl I always dreamed of" isn't the same as saying, "Psh, I don't want a boy" and isn't a commentary on the ease or difficulty of getting pregnant. The OP doesn't sound like she will be disappointed with a girl.
And for the record, a lot of folks find the sentiment, "as long as the baby is healthy" offensive, especially if they or a loved one has a health condition. But it would be rude to demand a person who wished for health apologize.
1. I would probably pick a different name. I do think it's cruddy of her to make a big deal about a name when not TTC, but it's not worth the drama to pick the name she loves.
2. I really don't think the OP owes an apology for joking about hoping for a boy. We all have our struggles. We had infertility prior to our first as have many of my friends. When we got pregnant with our second, I would have been thrilled to have either sex, but was hoping I might get a girl someday. We are human beings with complex emotions who are capable of feeling on many different levels. Thinking, "Hey it would be neat to get that girl I always dreamed of" isn't the same as saying, "Psh, I don't want a boy" and isn't a commentary on the ease or difficulty of getting pregnant. The OP doesn't sound like she will be disappointed with a girl.
And for the record, a lot of folks find the sentiment, "as long as the baby is healthy" offensive, especially if they or a loved one has a health condition. But it would be rude to demand a person who wished for health apologize.
I don't find it offensive that OP says she is praying for a boy, but the fact that others found it offensive is why an apology would be nice or at least just shut up about it, not continue to try and take up for what she said when she clearly sees that others were offended.
Um she's 20... She's a child ... Her mind is going to change 10 times before she is old enough to think about babies. Besides, she'll have a husband one day she'd have to negotiate with.
She has a husband he doesn't like the name LOL Oh oops ... Well her 2nd husband may have a different opinion Just kidding!
1. I would probably pick a different name. I do think it's cruddy of her to make a big deal about a name when not TTC, but it's not worth the drama to pick the name she loves.
2. I really don't think the OP owes an apology for joking about hoping for a boy. We all have our struggles. We had infertility prior to our first as have many of my friends. When we got pregnant with our second, I would have been thrilled to have either sex, but was hoping I might get a girl someday. We are human beings with complex emotions who are capable of feeling on many different levels. Thinking, "Hey it would be neat to get that girl I always dreamed of" isn't the same as saying, "Psh, I don't want a boy" and isn't a commentary on the ease or difficulty of getting pregnant. The OP doesn't sound like she will be disappointed with a girl.
And for the record, a lot of folks find the sentiment, "as long as the baby is healthy" offensive, especially if they or a loved one has a health condition. But it would be rude to demand a person who wished for health apologize.
Thank you I really was joking. Now would I ever say that in real life to someone I know who is struggling with infertility or miscarriages absolutely not!. But to a bunch of strangers on the internet who I know nothing about yes I cracked a joke. There was absolutely no spite in my comment. You simply can not be that PC on the internet at all times.
And I agree the name is not worth the drama I have already talked to DH about letting it go. He doesn't want to but he will probably come around.
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Just something to think about, you may not necessarily know if the person you're talking to has struggled w infertility.
I think that's silly. When she actually DOES get pregnant, she may not even like that name anymore! The names I liked at 20 yes old for my hypothetical children were not the names I liked at 31 when I was actually having a baby. Lol.
Re: SIL saying I'm stealing her name!
2. I really don't think the OP owes an apology for joking about hoping for a boy. We all have our struggles. We had infertility prior to our first as have many of my friends. When we got pregnant with our second, I would have been thrilled to have either sex, but was hoping I might get a girl someday. We are human beings with complex emotions who are capable of feeling on many different levels. Thinking, "Hey it would be neat to get that girl I always dreamed of" isn't the same as saying, "Psh, I don't want a boy" and isn't a commentary on the ease or difficulty of getting pregnant. The OP doesn't sound like she will be disappointed with a girl.
And for the record, a lot of folks find the sentiment, "as long as the baby is healthy" offensive, especially if they or a loved one has a health condition. But it would be rude to demand a person who wished for health apologize.
TTC since September 2012
Oh oops ... Well her 2nd husband may have a different opinion
Just kidding!
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Just something to think about, you may not necessarily know if the person you're talking to has struggled w infertility.
I say use it!
Precious baby boy "HC" born May 2013.
Precious baby boy "HC" born May 2013.