Let me start by saying I LOVE my DH, but I can't take him any more! We RARELY fought before DS and now I'm a nagging b*&^$ and I'm sorry but I feel completely justified in my behavior! DH and I had actually contemplated him quitting his job and becoming a SAH Dad when we found out I was PG. I'm the major bread winner in the family and DH said he would like to raise our children. In the end we decided it just was not financially feasible. But I wonder if it would have changed anything...? I thought DH was going to be the best dad in the world, he LOVES kids (had coached "little league" soccer for years even though he didn't have kids) and he was a wonderful and motivated husband that all my friends were jealous of me for having. And then came DS!
I feel like my life has been flipped upside down, EVERYTHING has changed! DS is my life and I would do anything for him. And DH loves our son too, but not at all in the way I thought he would. The TV seems to be more interesting than DS's smiles, and taking 10 min. to rock his son before he goes down for a nap is out of the question. DH wants DS to do things his way, and seems entirely inflexible to the whims of a baby. In many ways I'm so disappointed in him as a father. But it doesn't end there...he's become lazy with the housework as well. I do EVERYTHING and I'm F*$%in Tired!
DH and I got into a big fight this morning because I snapped at him for something and he asked why I have been such a bitch lately...so I told him. I laid everything out on the table as far as needing help around the house, and needing him to pay attention to the things that need to be done instead of just leaving them for me to take care of when I get home from work, and he just gave me excuses for everything. And then I did it...I called him a "Mediocre Dad", I know it hurt him and I tried to back track a bit, but it is the truth. I'm so disappointed in him as a father and a husband right now and to top it off I'm so sick my bitchy self...I just don't know what to do.
DH's mother (from Portugal) has been staying with us for the past 3 months and leaves on Friday; I know she has been a huge stressor and I hope things turn around once she is gone, but I have my doubts. I know advice on here is always to be honest with our men and ask for what we want because they aren't mind readers, but I feel like DH and I are honest with each other and have been "talking" until we are blue in the face and he's just not changing. And as far as asking him to do things...yes he will do them when I ask, but WHY DO I HAVE TO ASK? When you grab a coffee cup from the locked dishwasher; you obviously know the dishes are clean so why can't you empty it? He never used to do shit like this...now my To Do List is exponentially larger with a baby and he's acting like another child that I need to pick up after.
Sorry for the novel...all suggestions are appreciated!