Anyone else not finding out the gender? — The Bump
2nd Trimester

Anyone else not finding out the gender?

My husband and I are not finding out the sex. I'm 26 weeks. My family isn't too thrilled about not finding out the sex. Anyone else waiting for the arrival?

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  • We attempted to find out, but baby wasn't cooperative.  We think it's a girl but aren't for sure.  So we are somewhat team green.

    I have mixed feelings on it.  I wish we knew for sure, but am excited for the birth.

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  • Not finding out the sex and very happy to not be finding out the sex.
    Daisypath Vacation tickersBabyFetus Ticker
    Married 19 October 2013
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    BFP: 3 July 2014
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  • My BILs family records the dad coming out to the room of family waiting and announcing boy/ girl and the name. It was really cool to see later on. We found out with #1 & #2 but I want to be surprised for this one. DH isn't on board with that unfortunately.
  • We are going to wait until "game time" to find out as well.  It's such a new thing to even be able to find out, I don't know why people jump on it as this new "default" or it's like you are making a huge statement by not finding out.  Hello -- not finding out is natural!  Haha. 
    happy to be due march 17, 2014 with our first after 6 long years of ttc.
    [Deleted User]
  • We did not find out the sex with my first baby...it was an amazing surprise!  Glad we did it that way :) My family and friends acted annoyed as well.  I remember people texting me after my mom sent out baby shower invitations asking, "well, what can I buy?  I don't know if it's a boy or girl?"  People act like it's such a big deal...it's a baby...they are the same, it doesn't matter if you have blue or pink stuff.  Don't let people persuade you into changing your mind if you don't want to.  It's your baby. 
    PPD/PPA Mom...it has been super hard, but I'm making it! Slow steps...
    Mom to Carter (6), and Calianne (1).  
    Proud VBAC, natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering momma!


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  • I agree with WeLiveinMaine - although everyone is excited a baby is coming it does always seem anticlimactic when everyone knows the sex, the name, and the due date. We don't plan to find out with any of our kiddos. This is our first and we are loving not knowing. DH doesn't want to share names either which I don't really care about because we have 2-3 boy and girl options. We hope it will encourage people who want to give us a gift to give something practical that can be used for all of our kids. My good friend had two showers and barely got anything she needed - but she had probably 100 newborn boy specific outfits that he will grow out of quickly. 

    This isn't our main reason for not finding out though. We really just want that special moment of finding out if we have a son or daughter at the delivery. We are naturally curious, but as the pregnancy goes along it's easier not knowing. We only have 20 more weeks now! We want the full pregnancy experience - thinking of boys and girls names, thinking of all of the possibilities. We have had some family members irritated or saying that we won't be able to prepare, which is just so silly becuase I am a big time planner and have not had any issues at all. 
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    [Deleted User]ChanStew
  • We aren't finding out as well.  We are also having twins and it's our first pregnancy.  At first my DH wasn't on board but now he's the one telling our family and friends to be patient.  I have to agree with @mc0113 our older family/friends are thrilled that we're waiting.  It's the ones our age that are giving us a hard time.  I just tell them that when they have their own babies they can find out :)
    GL and don't feel pressured.  There aren't that many true happy surprises in life...enjoy this time!
  • This is the second time being team green for us and we are looking forward to finding out when the baby is born! It also stops me from buying too much stuff ahead of time. =p Some people are rude about it... A lady working at Gap Kids asked if we were having a boy or girl and we said we weren't finding out... She said, "Oh, I guess that's nice too." And then walked away. I'm pretty sure I stared open mouthed as she walked away. Plus, everyone asks if we know what we're having. I always respond with "a baby" because I'm so sick of being asked. Bleh.
    ChanStew
  • We planned to find out sex but baby wouldn't open legs so we aren't now.
  • Adding this here because others might like the idea. We had the big a/s Tuesday (everything is perfect!!!) and did not want to find out the sex. The tech said she could write it down and we could open it later and thank goodness we didn't see anything during the scan or have anyone slip up and tell us. We really don't want to know as tempting as it is but DH asked how sure she was and she said very sure, and he wants to know if she was right or not. Having the envelope around is just sort of annoying because I know I could literally find out any minute if I wanted to. So I am giving it to my best friend (who I know 100% won't tell anyone or tell us) and $100 to buy our take home outfit and blanket. She is going to wrap it up with blue and pink paper and put the envelope/ultrasound in the box. We will unwrap the outfit after LO is born and have a sweet take home outfit for first pictures and a little extra surprise since my bff has awesome taste in baby clothes. I am so excited for this!!! 

    Wow this is such a great idea!

    Bliss+BerryjennypolkadotsChanStew
  • We did find out with our first but this time around we plan to wait! I'm so excited for the moment when we get to meet our bundle and then hubby can go out to the waiting room to surprise our family. Alot of people are shocked that we will wait but I love it!
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  • We didn't find out with our first, it was a wonderful experience. I'm glad we stayed team green. Although many people thought we were crazy. With baby #2 and this pregnancy we did find out, I say it's because I wanted to be organized. Really I was far to impatient.
  • Second time on team green. It is such a special moment. I think I would be more consumed, distracted, maybe anxious?? if I knew the sex. Everyone is different, but for us, not knowing works best.
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  • It's our first and we decided we are not finding out till the delivery although I think it's a boy as I have not been able to eat chocolate since about week six (I'm week 14 today) xxxx
  • Team Green for us! I think it's funny when people say "Oh I just couldn't wait" or "I'm too much of a planner." But guess what. Sometimes baby won't show anyone on an ultrasound. But we're Team Green because we want to be. We think it will be so encouraging during labor to not know...like an incentive to keep going. Also I really don't want a bunch of pink or blue stuff thrust upon us/baby especially since I don't believe in "boy or girl colors".
  • I won't be waiting until delivery but I will be waiting until my baby shower. My sister is throwing me a gender reveal baby shower and she and DH will be the only ones to know the gender until then!
  • I agree with WeLiveinMaine - although everyone is excited a baby is coming it does always seem anticlimactic when everyone knows the sex, the name, and the due date. We don't plan to find out with any of our kiddos. This is our first and we are loving not knowing. DH doesn't want to share names either which I don't really care about because we have 2-3 boy and girl options. We hope it will encourage people who want to give us a gift to give something practical that can be used for all of our kids. My good friend had two showers and barely got anything she needed - but she had probably 100 newborn boy specific outfits that he will grow out of quickly. 


    This isn't our main reason for not finding out though. We really just want that special moment of finding out if we have a son or daughter at the delivery. We are naturally curious, but as the pregnancy goes along it's easier not knowing. We only have 20 more weeks now! We want the full pregnancy experience - thinking of boys and girls names, thinking of all of the possibilities. We have had some family members irritated or saying that we won't be able to prepare, which is just so silly becuase I am a big time planner and have not had any issues at all. 
    I so agree! I'm a planner too and everyone is so surprised we're not finding out. It's still a baby, what else is there to plan by knowing its genitals? I find it easier to plan long term by not getting stuck with a ton of gender specific items. I'll get stuff I can use for all future kiddos.
    Me (29), DH (30), Married 6/16/07
    #1: BFP 8/02/14, EDD 4/11/15

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  • We are going to wait until "game time" to find out as well.  It's such a new thing to even be able to find out, I don't know why people jump on it as this new "default" or it's like you are making a huge statement by not finding out.  Hello -- not finding out is natural!  Haha. 
    This has been my thought, too - since when has it become the "normal" thing for people to find out? People don't even ask us IF we are finding out, just "WHEN do you know what it is?", to which we answer "when it's born", hahaha. I only have a handful of friends who've had babies in recent years, but I remember when my older cousins had babies (who are now  tweens and teens) and the general assumption was that they DIDN'T know what they were having.
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  • kwal said:
    Second time on team green. It is such a special moment. I think I would be more consumed, distracted, maybe anxious?? if I knew the sex. Everyone is different, but for us, not knowing works best.
    So much THIS. It's just a personal preference. When I tell people we're not planning to find out I often get a response like "oh but I'm such a planner, I would have to know!". That's got me thinking a bit, because I actually am a pretty big control freak! I don't normally deal well with the unknown, and yet from the start I have been certain that I don't want to know the sex ahead of time. Weird, right? Reflecting on it a bit more, as much as I am a control freak I am also a HUGE worrier - if I know it's a girl/boy I will spend the second half of my pregnancy fretting about every possible challenge I might have with that particular sex - it's just how my anxious mind tends to work. Whereas if I just wait until the birth and someone goes "here's your baby, it's a ___", I won't have time to worry about it!
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    Futuremrschebbi
  • We are not going to find out either. My friends and family are actually mad at us. We had a couple losses before and we ended up doing fertility treatments. So, everything was timed and planned. We want the surprise at birth. 14 weeks yesterday and super excited. Stay strong and do what you want.
  • We are not finding out. In the family, only DHs mother is supportive. My parents act ok with it but I know wish we would find out. My sister who found out with all 3 of her boys is so against it. My SKs are wanting to know, but I also know the suspense and surprise will be so much more meaningful for them. Will make a great memory.

    Friends are supportive, thankfully.

    One friend gave me great advice: Be very very careful with sharing ultrasound photos. She had her surprise ruined by a friend of her mil who is a nurse and read the ultrasound for her mil who was against their decision not to know.

    So we will be cropping or putting "stickers" on any ultrasound pictures of the anatomy scan at 20 weeks. My sister (3 boys) and cousin (4 boys) would totally read it and ruin the surprise.
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  • We're waiting! We're not having a baby shower or anything so doesn't affect that! My family are surprisingly all supportive of the suprise, which is nice but even if they weren't we would still go for it because it's our baby, and it's our decision. Everyone else I know had known the gender and name of their baby for months before it came I want to keep the excitement! It will still kill in a couple of weeks though at out anomaly scan telling them we don't want to know! Congratulations and good luck xxx
  • *waves*

    We are waiting. We wanted the surprise at the end of the hard work of labour. The unisex clothing and nursery items are super cute too.
  • We found out because I do not have patience and I do not like surprises!
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