Who will be in the labour room?

rweaver8611 · January 2015

DH, my parents, and SIL. SIL is a nurse at another hospital, so I feel really comfortable with her in there. I told my parents I want them to take some pictures of the labor and all. I don't want my DH to remember everything through the camera lens, I want him to experience it through his own eyes, however, I want pictures for the memories. Everyone has been instructed to stay at the top of the bed, however. Except DH, of course.

kpgrala · January 2015

We are having this problem now. We only want us and will call everyone when we are ready for visitors but the family both sides don't like it. Some even fought us on it and said we didnt know anything. The way we look at it is we want this to be our special moment with our first child and we want to make sure to bond with him before everyone comes in. So its just going to be me and my husband during labor.

mlindzz · January 2015

Just me and my hubby.

And at my next prenatal apt I'll be asking my OBGYN about her experiences with a doula. So potentially one other.

youstolemysoul · January 2015

It'll be me (obviously), my SO, my momma and possibly a close friend with a camera to get those first moments (dad cutting the cord, me holding him, my mom crying...)

KarasTwin · January 2015

Before I got pregnant, I had told my mama and MIL they could be in the room, but now that I'm actually pregnant, I'm not sure. They're both cryers and I can't deal with it. My MIL cried countless times when she took me shopping for maternity clothes and yesterday we went wedding dress shopping for my SIL and she cried repeatedly. I have told them both the minute they start crying, they're out. DH doesn't really want them in there as he said his focus needs to be on keeping me calm and not worrying about them. So now I feel like I need to tell them I've changed my mind, but I don't know how to do that. My sister (we're twins and very close) has asked to be in the room even though she didn't allow anyone but her DH in the room when she had my niece. She does have a knack for calming me, but I'm just not sure what to do anymore. I don't think they'll be too upset if I tell them no, but I kinda feel like I owe it to them since we eloped. Any advice, ladies?

DolphinLover2002 · January 2015

With DS, I had my whole family in my room before he was born. I only planned on my mom and DH, but my dad, brother and SIL showed up early afternoon, after I had my epidural. Anytime they checked me, they were asked to leave the room.

My husband is my rock. He is so supportive and did anything he could to help me. Before I got my epidural, the pain was just unbearable. My mom and DH both massaged my back and my legs, and just got me calmed down. They were an amazing team. The rest of them were aware that when it became time to push, only mom and DH were going to stay in the room with me. They were totally understanding. However, complications arose and I was rushed into an emergency c-section. My mom and DH were in there with me. My mom took pictures while dh was at my head supporting me and watching. My DH stayed in recovery with me and my family went to the nursery with ds and got lots of pictures for us. I had complications and was in recovery for about 2 hours, and DH wouldn't leave my side. It was so nice that my family got pictures of them weighing him, his first bath and everything we had to miss.

This time around will be the same. My family will be allowed to be in there until delivery time, and then it will only be myself, dh and my mom.

willowprincess · January 2015

Pretty much just my husband although we do allow my mom to come back with the kids whenever they want, so it's possible they may be in there. Last time DD and DS1 both left during pushing to go play in the waiting room.

elvinnoe · January 2015

DH and at least one other person who can answer calls/texts for us and take pictures after baby is born. We did that last time and I was really happy with the way it turned out. I asked a friend who is a nurse and isn't weird about seeing all of that, but her schedule is crazy this summer, so it will have to be someone different. Def not going to have family in there though. I'm not close enough to his family and mine stresses me out.

neongreen · January 2015

I already know I'm having a scheduled c-section, so that solves that. If circumstances were different, though, I'd probably at least consider having my mother in the room along with DH. We're very close, and she's said to me before that back when I was born (I'm an only child), my father was completely USELESS* in the delivery room and if she had to do it all over again, she would have had her mother there instead.

(*Not that this makes him a bad person, quite the opposite. He just happens to be your stereotypical engineer, and providing emotional support in stressful situations isn't always his strong point because he's more focused on facts and procedures.)

I get along with my MIL very well for the most part, but she has been known to drive me up the wall in certain situations, so I can't ever envision a scenario in which I'd let her into the delivery room.

atj13ne · January 2015

My SO and my mama is all. My mom Has been there for the first two and i want her for this one. But thats it!

tiffbot1985 · January 2015

Just H and I in the delivery room. I don't mind anyone else being there pre or post, but I like it just us when we are meeting baby.

With DS he was early, so we had about 10 seconds of the 3 of us together before they whisked him away to NICU and we didn't get to go down there to see him for a few hours after that. I would have regretted so much having to share that time. But was very thankful for everyone there after, especially because we were anxiously killing time before the two of us could get into the NICU (which in my hospital, they allow 2 visitors at a time and one must be a parent)

janat1717 · January 2015

My DH and a Doula for sure. Haven't decided about my mom yet. We will be at home hopefully so she'd have to wait somewhere else I guess. Otherwise plenty of space for her to hang out in a different part of the house??

bruunk · January 2015

Bednarova

bruunk · January 2015

@Bednarova‌ (sorry about last post, cell phone fail) that's a great idea! My parents and family will all be close, and while DH siblings will be close too, I am more worried about restricting time with them. His parents are lovely and will fly in from MI when we ask, his siblings have some issues, and may not get to see baby. But that's another discussion and another day

we are both comfortable with my family visiting and then saying get out please if needed. His stresses us both out.

OMGTree · January 2015

I will probably be having another C-section so just DH. However if I was going to have a vaginal delivery I would also have my mom and my MIL in there. Honestly when you are at the pushing point you could care less who is looking all you want is that baby out. Plus my DH is an only and this will be his MIL last child so I would let her in. But hospital says only DH for a C.

aagenthner · January 2015

Just like with our first child it will be my DH, my mom and dad and one of my brothers (he is gay and absolutely my best friend). My DH was panicked the whole time with number one so he was no help at all...my dad hung out in the couch which was in the side of the room so he clearly had no leg shots but was still able to experience the pure joy of his first grand baby coming into the world. My mom and brother did all the talking me through contractions...massaging...coaching that had to be done to get me through the 16 hours that DH never Could have. I may also allow DD in the room when baby arrives as she is over the moon to be a big sister...she's been waiting a long time for this!! My OB is awesome and allows controlled chaos!!

I obviously super
Close with my family and want them involved.

beckynsean11 · January 2015

MH will be in there unless he's OOT & can't get back fast enough (completely likely). Other than a possible doula, no one else will be in the room with us. My mom will be there during early labor, but once shit gets serious, I'm kicking her out. I MAY consider letting her stay if MH can't be there.

carolyngrace · January 2015

KarasTwin said:

Before I got pregnant, I had told my mama and MIL they could be in the room, but now that I'm actually pregnant, I'm not sure. They're both cryers and I can't deal with it. My MIL cried countless times when she took me shopping for maternity clothes and yesterday we went wedding dress shopping for my SIL and she cried repeatedly. I have told them both the minute they start crying, they're out. DH doesn't really want them in there as he said his focus needs to be on keeping me calm and not worrying about them. So now I feel like I need to tell them I've changed my mind, but I don't know how to do that. My sister (we're twins and very close) has asked to be in the room even though she didn't allow anyone but her DH in the room when she had my niece. She does have a knack for calming me, but I'm just not sure what to do anymore. I don't think they'll be too upset if I tell them no, but I kinda feel like I owe it to them since we eloped. Any advice, ladies?

It sounds to me like you have an easy out with your sister. She didn't have you there, so she shouldn't be offended at all if you decide to just have you and DH.

I bet your mom and MIL will understand if you decide to tell them you no longer want them there. You can even tell them that you might decide in the heat of the moment to ask them in, but you want to start out with just you and DH.

This is YOUR body, YOUR baby, you have to do what feels right to you (and your partner).

sjw91988 · January 2015

I wish my mom could be in the delivery room but I am having a c section so it will just be SO/ baby daddy lol

frankengibbs · January 2015

I am undecided as far as who I'd like to have there as far as pre and post... Honestly, until seeing this post, I hadn't really put too much thought into it. Looks like DH and I will have some thinking to do.
As far as during the actual delivery, I only want DH and my mom to be in there with me. My mom not only use to be a nurse, but she is the kind of person that you want there when you're in pain or need someone. I feel so lucky to have her, especially for this because she always seems to know what to do or say to make things sail more smoothly and I know she will be great not only for me, but for DH because I think labor will be more scary for him than me.

housewifebecomesher · January 2015

Just DH.

Unsolicited advice from a STM: after 18 hours of labor and a c section, I didn't want anyone visiting at the hospital. I only share this because I'm an open book and total extrovert, but I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia and was so sick for at least a day after. I just put that out to anyone who is thinking of making advance plans for visitors.

Also, for those of you who are torn on who to allow in the room, there is a long period of labor (for most!) before you actually get to pushing that could be a good option for well wishers to stop by and see you "in labor" but not have to expose the goods.

Hope this helps!

poppyc8 · January 2015

Just DH and I. I would freak the hell out if anyone else from my family or friends were there!!

leenziepops · January 2015

I kinda like the idea of having some close family waiting nearby or keeping us company until the time comes to push and then we kick everyone out. Also might be handy to have a family photographer come in once we're ready for some happy snaps. But I want the first moments with our baby completely just to ourselves.

thursdaychick · January 2015

I really just want my husband to be there, but my moms to be--and she won't take no for answer. She would feel like I hated her.

ohiodoxiemama08 · January 2015

DH only! This is non-negotiable for me. Thankfully my mom has no desire to be in there (she thinks it should be a personal/private thing for DH and I and will be watching our DD). My MIL doesn't either (And even if she did there's no way in hell that I would let her in!)

I'm a pretty private person. And knowing what natural childbirth was like last time, no one needs to see that! We also made sure that we had time to do skin-to-skin and nurse before we allowed visitors. I feel like those first few hours are precious and you'll never get them back. DH's family was waiting in the lobby and got text updates but we were very clear that they were to wait until they got our ok to come back and see the baby.

It's a personal decision though, so to each their own.

mcp6286 · January 2015

housewifebecomesher said:
Just DH.

Unsolicited advice from a STM: after 18 hours of labor and a c section, I didn't want anyone visiting at the hospital. I only share this because I'm an open book and total extrovert, but I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia and was so sick for at least a day after. I just put that out to anyone who is thinking of making advance plans for visitors.

Hope this helps!

I just said this to DH yesterday! I'm having a scheduled C, so only he will be there but he wants to have visitors in the waiting room ready to come back afterwards. I told him there is no way in hell I want to see anyone or want them to see me. If he wants them there, he can go out and talk to them in the waiting room then send them home. The next day, we'll talk about a visiting schedule. Both sets of parents are stressful in their own way and I don't need that crap. My BFF will be the only one allowed to pre-plan a visit. I went to the hospital the day after her deliveries (she also had no one there but her hubby) and it was perfect.

sassypants2010 · January 2015

Just my husband, with our first he was unsure if he could handle it but he was a champ and a great help for me to stay focused while the nurses pestered me. My friend wants to be my doula so she can get some experience under her belt but we are up in the air still on that.

Kovak · January 2015

DH and my mom. Both of my parents were in the room for DS. My dad was actually pretty great. He did all of the running around, like to refill my water and such things. My mom and DH helped with the pushing all of that. This time around my dad will probably be watching DS, which I'm sure he is fine with. I think he had a hard time watching his little girl be in so much pain.

housewifebecomesher · January 2015

@mcp6286‌ I think that is a good plan. You might feel differently at the time, but sitting in a hospital gown, dizzy and hungry and trying to nurse, I just wanted my space for a couple of days!

Ladymouse · January 2015

DH and the doula. My parents will be watching my son, and my mom is the only other person I'd want in the room (while my dad wouldn't kill my kid, my kid wouldn't eat under his care. I say this from experience during childhood.)

I might see if my mom and DS want to visit the hospital during labor, depending on several factors, but it's not terribly likely. My dad has a tendency to make inappropriately timed comments, so that's just a no.

If it's a scheduled c-section (DS went 11 days past his due date, and the practice here won't "let" me go past 41 weeks as a VBAC, so it's likely), DH will be in the room, and my parents and DS will be at the hospital.

catmagick · January 2015

MH, a doula and a close friend who is a photographer towards the end. I would like to have my mom there but since she lives on the west coast and we live on the east we are trying to figure out how this is going to work. When I go into labor I kind of always just pictured it being MH and me on our way to the hospital and being there for the first few hours.

taboullio84 · January 2015

My S/O .. My mom.. My S/O mom .... That's it this time.

For my first there was over 35 ppl peeking through the two side doors.. And we had family take pictures and video it. It was the first grand baby for both sides.. It was made into a huge deal. I didn't care who was there I was going natural and was in so much pain I never really noticed till he was born.

Katerina&Baby · January 2015

Only DH - I don't want to share that experience with anyone but him. I won't allow visitors until I've been able to rest and relax for a little bit with DH and baby and even then, only our parents and siblings will visit us in the hospital. Everyone else can wait until we're ready to bring our newborn around people.

katier29 · January 2015

DH and I for sure. My MIL has offered to be in the room since she is a labor and delivery room nurse. I'm still debating on that. I'm for sure wanting about 10 minutes after I get cleaned up for just DH and I to bond with our first child. Then visitors and whoever wants can come in. I am a private person and the thought of tons of visitors freaks me out.

slr1229 · January 2015

Just the hubs; and we don't want anyone coming to visit until day 2 in the hospital.

ooopswediditagain · January 2015

My sister joined us for my first and my MIL and DD joined us for my 2nd. I have been in on a few births of my friends babies and my nieces. It's amazing. I wish every woman could experience a birth that they were not a part of. It really is the most amazing thing ever. With this one we may do home birth and immediate family will be invited if they are comfortable. Otherwise it will be my husband, daughter, son and birth photographer.

deutschbaby · January 2015

I'm trying to figure out how to uninvite my mother. Ugh. When I had DS 13 years ago, I was 21, and and single. I totally wanted her there because I didn't feel I had anyone else to support me. My ex ended up being there too, but I was glad to have my mom there since I knew I could count of her for sure (ex came thruough but I wasn't sure he would).

Fast forward 13 yrs and now I'm married to a wonderful man and having baby #2. My mother has changed (for the worse) and is a complete narcissistic, controlling, hyperchondirac. She continually diagnoses everyone in the family with made up terrible diseases and on the few occasions she had been to a dr with me (3 yrs ago I broke my elbow and she took me to the ER) she has completely made up drama and medical stuff to make it seem more serious/dramatic (as if a fucking broken elbow wasn't bad enough). She then tells WVERYONE she knows about whatever it was wrong with you.

I haven't had the conversation with her yet, but I know she assumes she is invited since she was there for DS birth 13 yrs ago. But no. I'm grown up now, married, have my perfect support person/coach (DH) and I don't want her withing 100ft of the delivery room. She would practically send out emails of how dialated I currently am and how much my vagina has torn. Just NO.

Totally dreading that conversation with her. It will turn into major family drama and will end with my dad calling to ask why I'm so intent on hurting her feelings. Bleh. I wish we lived far away.

selma8 · January 2015

.

Mama-Bear · January 2015

The baby's parents God willing they make it in time (I'm a surrogate) and possibly a doula along with DH.

mccall35 · January 2015

Just DH, docs and the support staff. I have no interest in anyone else being there. With DS I had my water break followed by a failed induction and c-section. We didn't tell anyone we were in the hospital until I was on the way to the OR (after 30+ hrs of not getting the job done).

This time will be the same (although hopefully no induction/c-section), except we will likely have my ILs watch DS when we go to the hospital because they live 5 min away. So obviously they will know that we are going, but we won't have them come until all is said and done and I'm cleaned up/recovered from however the babe decides to come.

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