Circumcision

missjenniebean · January 2015

I told my SO that is up to him. Where he is from, boys are not circumcised there for I am leaving the decision up to him. He said if we have a boy, he will probably have him circumcised due to us being in the states. The ultimate decision is up to him though. I am sure we will be doing some research.

beckynsean11 · January 2015

We talked about it because I was team no circ. Mh is & his father is not. Per my MIL, it's a huge source of embarrassment for FIL. MH feels very strongly about getting it done, I'm deferring to the one with the peen on this one.

poppyc8 · January 2015

bluedaisy2001 said:
We don't know what we're having yet but I would prefer to have it done if we have a boy. However we only have one hospital and they refuse to do it, you are allowed to bring someone in to do it but that seems really scary so ?I think it's a big no for us.

@bluedaisy2001‌ Interesting. For DS my doctor (gyno/obstetrician) did the circumcision in his office. This is standard practice for him. It wasn't done at a hospital.

Trampslikeus · January 2015

Yeah it's 100% covered by all blue cross plans - saw it as we were browsing thru trying to figure out what our out of pocket costs will be

Trampslikeus · January 2015

Heh. Like I said. Inevitable hyperbolic comparison to something not even REMOTELY similar. And that's where the conversation becomes less interesting to have. It's a logical fallacy for an argument to rely on comparing issue A to issue B instead of just sticking with issue A.

KonaCoffeeBean · January 2015

crikit83 said:

This was probably the only parenting decision I felt comfortable leaving 100% in my husbands hands. Not having a penis and all, I am deferring to a person I trust completely who does have one. I see both sides of the debate and frankly, until the inevitable hyperbolic comparison to female genital mutilation pops up, think it's an interesting topic that I just don't lean too strongly in to one camp or the other
All of this! But I find it very strange to cut off a piece of one's anatomy that is the natural design of the human body. It feels very wrong to me, but I do understand the other side of the coin and I am going with my husband's opinion since he is the one with the penis and the experience of having one! I hate the idea of it, because I would never want a part of my own body removed from me, personally, but we are going to circumcise our baby boy. I will cringe and get over it lol
I guess I kind of equate it a bit with getting your wisdom teen out. They're a natural thing that your body grows, but they cause a lot of trouble if you leave them there (for most people, anyway.) On the other hand, you don't get your appendix removed preventatively, but I think the stats on wisdom teeth being an issue are a lot higher than your appendix. I'm also in the DH gets final say camp on this one, although we're totally researching it together.

I don't think that's a valid analogy. As you point out, a lot of people have problems caused by wisdom teeth. That's not the case with forskin. I think if there were a medical benefit (not just the cultural benefit) to circumcision, then it would be very common throughout the developed world, not just the U.S.

rosabellegorman · January 2015

I don't think raising the issue of total body hygiene is a stretch from genetial hygiene. Hyperbolic? If you say so. Glad I can contribute to your satisfaction in being "right".

Bednarova · January 2015

threearrows said:
Also, if you plan on having the procedure done, be warned that it's not normally something your insurance will cover because it is not medically necessary--be prepared of pay around $200 out of pocket, whether it's done at the hospital or afterwards.

I had this thought in the shower after I posted earlier. It's generally considered an elective procedure, so be prepared (and/or call your insurance co)

ksimo6 · January 2015

We are having a boy and he will be circumcised. DH and I agreed on that right away.

pghctwife · January 2015

None of our sons are or will be circumcised. As we are BOTH their parents, this was a decision we came to jointly. Of course.

For me, the biggest reason not to is that it feel it morally wrong to put my child through a surgery and remove a part of their body for aesthetics. DHs primary reason not to is he doesnt feel it makes sense to do something rooted in a culture and religion (when we are not religious at all, and not jewish). He is circd fwiw. The boys look 'different from daddy' in that regard in waaaay more ways than just the foreskin lol. And by the time they are more on par I really hope they aren't comparing their genitals.

And please, stop with the comments about cleanliness and hygiene. Penises need to be cleaned and taken care of, just as labia do, no matter their form. My kids genitals are perfectly clean, and Im sure there are plenty of gross circ'd penises (penii??) out there. It is Im sure not meant to be offensive but it kind of is.

Ive anecdotally heard of way way more complications from circumcisions than Ive heard of issues with those that aren't. From what Ive read, many issues with the latter are from those who aren't up on current best practice, and force the foreskin back before it retracts naturally (which can take years, my son is almost 4 and his has not yet).

Plus they make you stay in the hospital longer (24hrs post surgery around here I think) so that alone was an argument against! I wanted to get out of dodge asap!

And I am current on the AAP reccs on the subject, and do not feel that a slightly lower rate of HIV transmission is reason enough. I prefer to educate my sons on condom use and safe sex. If they become adults and are engaging in risky behavior, they can make the decision to circ. But a circumcision is NOT something that prevents the transmission, just decreases it. Not, for me, enough of a reason to do it. I tend to believe that the very recent AAP recc for it is because, recently with the recommendation against it led to insurance not covering it since it is cosmetic.

sideboth · January 2015

@pghctwife That is correct on the AAP guideline...From the website...

"New scientific evidence shows the health benefits of newborn male circumcision outweigh the risks of the procedure, but the benefits are not great enough to recommend routine circumcision for all newborn boys"

They aren't recommending circumcision. They are saying that insurance should cover it.

jen66896689 · January 2015

I was with my son when he got circumcised at 4 days old. The board they strapped him to was the worst part. Seeing a little baby spread eagled. But then they put the little contraption on his weenis and snipped and he started to fuss a little and I put a little sugar water in his mouth and he stopped fussing and they were done. He never cried and it was totally healed in 3 days. I'll have our next son circumcised in the hospital as well. Maybe my first was just immune to pain, but it really didn't seem like a big deal at all. Not to mention, I personally think uncircumcised penises are totally disgusting looking and it really would stop me from being intimate with someone. I would hate for my son to grow up and fall in love with some girl who thinks of it like I do and won't sleep with him because of it. I want my boys to grow up and have awesome sex lives and to me, that requires a circumcised wee wee

KonaCoffeeBean · January 2015

jen66896689 said:

I was with my son when he got circumcised at 4 days old. The board they strapped him to was the worst part. Seeing a little baby spread eagled. But then they put the little contraption on his weenis and snipped and he started to fuss a little and I put a little sugar water in his mouth and he stopped fussing and they were done. He never cried and it was totally healed in 3 days. I'll have our next son circumcised in the hospital as well. Maybe my first was just immune to pain, but it really didn't seem like a big deal at all. Not to mention, I personally think uncircumcised penises are totally disgusting looking and it really would stop me from being intimate with someone. I would hate for my son to grow up and fall in love with some girl who thinks of it like I do and won't sleep with him because of it. I want my boys to grow up and have awesome sex lives and to me, that requires a circumcised wee wee

lol. Hopefully, you have no desire to sleep your way through Europe at this point in your life.

carolyngrace · January 2015

I had never thought about it. Just asked DH if he had to pick today what would he do? He paused and then said "Not do it" (he is circumcised). I agreed with him, so I guess it's settled! It seems unnecessary.

carolyngrace · January 2015

jen66896689 said:

I was with my son when he got circumcised at 4 days old. The board they strapped him to was the worst part. Seeing a little baby spread eagled. But then they put the little contraption on his weenis and snipped and he started to fuss a little and I put a little sugar water in his mouth and he stopped fussing and they were done. He never cried and it was totally healed in 3 days. I'll have our next son circumcised in the hospital as well. Maybe my first was just immune to pain, but it really didn't seem like a big deal at all. Not to mention, I personally think uncircumcised penises are totally disgusting looking and it really would stop me from being intimate with someone. I would hate for my son to grow up and fall in love with some girl who thinks of it like I do and won't sleep with him because of it. I want my boys to grow up and have awesome sex lives and to me, that requires a circumcised wee wee

Funny because I think a big reason my DH does NOT want our son circumcised is because uncircumcised penises are sometimes considered MORE sensitive and enjoyable during sex. He wishes he hadn't been circumcised so he knew what that felt like.

I'm not sure how being uncircumcised would otherwise prohibit boys/men from having an "awesome sex life"... because some girls would be uncomfortable with it? I've been with men who were both ways and it was never an issue....

girlymama79 · January 2015

I'm letting my husband decide this one.

mamahawk12 · January 2015

The assumption that those of us who chose the procedure haven't researched the topic is pretty sanctimonious. There are valid arguments on both sides of the table; neither choice is wrong or makes you a better parent regardless of what you may think.

taraperez04 · January 2015

My DH is from South America therefore he is not circumcised and so I left it up to him and if we have a son he won't be circumcised either.

sideboth · January 2015

asutherl The US is an outlier in circumcision when you normalize for religious reasons. I do find it unusual that the rate is so high especially when it's a hot topic discussed with a doctor. It NEVER came up in the UK. I would have had request it be done and it would not have been done after birth. My doctor, when I did ask, asked me why I was considering it? I had to ask if there was anything I needed to know about an uncircumcised penis. He (a doctor in the UK) stated there was a lot of misinformation and biases from American doctors. It's a personal decision but those who are seeking NOT to circumcise may want to do additional research. That was my only point. There a lot of misconceptions about circumsision.

kej0004 · January 2015

We don't find out sex until February, but if we have a boy he will be circumcised. I asked a lot of questions about it initially, thinking it seems weird to "fix something that isn't broken". FIL is a pediatrician and advises parents to circumcise because he regularly has "kids" aged 10-18 come in to his office with infections when they are not circumcised. I did the research myself and didn't find anything that swayed me in either direction, so we decided to go with FIL's suggestion.

Also, as an added benefit, it's "normal" here to be circumcised. With no hard evidence to suggest it has major negatives or positives, I'm ok with sticking to the norm and not having to deal with locker room mocking down the road. Also, having all the penises in the house look the same seems like a good idea.

I don't agree at all with the sentiment that the man gets to decide because he has a penis, though. We both made this child, so we make all decisions together, whether we wind up with male/female/other. If I had felt passionately for or against, that would have been just as valid as if DH had.

Joolschweetheart · January 2015

I am honestly so surprised at the difference in opinion over here in North America vs the UK. Several of my medical friends back home scoff at the idea that it makes any difference health and hygiene-wise -its just not the norm to have it done and so many men have no problems. Having said that, my husband is and is a strong advocate for it (he is) should we have a boy. I'm just going to have to do some more reading up! And its interesting to hear the different views on it...

mccall35 · January 2015

DH is not cicumcised, and he struggled with phimosis (his foreskin is tighter and not as freely able to slide down the shaft). He had an episode at 18 where a previous gf forced it down and it got stuck (paraphimosis), it was super traumatic and to this day he still is more comfortable using a condom during sex to minimize skin movement (even though his foreskin-with the help of steroid cream and a lot of patience- is pretty much as normal as can be).

Despite all that we still decided against circumcision for our DS.

We did our research, like almost every PP who has commented on this thread, since phimosis isn't a genetic condition and DH has never had any other issue with his penis, we didn't feel there was a medical reason to do it. We will teach proper hygiene and talk about genitalia so that our son feels comfortable coming to us if there are any issues in the future.

So far we have had no issues with DS, so the "lack of cleanliness" and "infected baby penis" comments are kind of annoying.

Ultimately there are pros and cons to both, to each their own.

sideboth · January 2015

@Joolschweetheart It sounds like you are an expat (In the US) as I was in the UK. The most interesting things that I find is the differences between "norms" and why or why not you should do something medically when in a different country. I think people misunderstood my point. If you are doing something that is different from the norm, it might help to do additional research either to support or discredit your ideas. Just like US doctors are more likely to tell you about all the non-circumcision issues they see, a UK doctor will tell you about all the botched jobs of circumcision they see.

housewifebecomesher · January 2015

We haven't talked about it yet, but DH is not due to a bleeding disorder that causes him to avoid unnecessary medical procedures. If we find out we are having a boy we will talk about it. Interesting to hear the views here.

I will say, his is the first uncircumcised peen in my relationship history and I don't notice a huge difference.

pghctwife · January 2015

I do think that a parent in the US should do their own research as well as talking to their pedi, because there are areas where circ is so prevalent that Drs may not be as informed. MIL runs a school of nursing, was a nurse for years and teaches nursing classes. She FREAKED that a) we didn't circ and b) that we weren't forcing the foreskin back on our baby boy. The research on that changed over 20 years ago. So, yes, if you don't have a pedi who supports not circing, do your own research.

And quite frankly if my sons find a partner who is going to turn them down, break up, whatever because they aren't circumcised? Um GOOD. I wouldnt want them to be with someone that superficial, and to be frank, that concerned with their fucking penis over their PERSON. If being intact is going to help weed out that type, all the more reason not to!

AmyCee · January 2015

We are jewish, so we would no matter our beliefs on the subject...that said people are getting upset that the pro- circumsicion mommies are calling uncircumsized penises dirty...but, what about ensenuatung that those that do circumsize are mutilating their sons genitals. It is not the same as female circumcision which is done older than a few day old infant that feels little pain.

I will say that my grandfather always jokes that it hurt so much he couldn't walk for a year!

I will circumsize my son (a doctor will do the procedure during a religious ceremony in my home). I will cry harder than he will and he'll nurse until he falls asleep, just like I did with DS1 and just like all men in my family and my husbands family have done...

leenziepops · January 2015

I left the decision up to my DH with a small input from me that it has not been a part of the male upbringing in my family. Same for DH so are not circumcizing any sons unless doctors say he needs it.

tinybugsmom · January 2015

We are team green so won't know before hand. Our religion doesn't require it....

If it is a boy, they will not be circumcised. This was a mutual decision DH and I made after researching (not just what the aap states). DH and SS are circumcised but this baby won't be.

kimmarie1105 · January 2015

I hate this topic because I cannot stand the arguments on either side of it. The benefits and risks on either side are pretty parallel and medical views seem to change from one to the next every decade or so. Its a personal peference. This is actually one topic that I think shouldn't really carry much judgement.
My son is and my next will be as well. And my reason is because.

dkleid · January 2015

Don't know what we are having but if it's a boy it will be done per a religious ritual at 8 days old. My nephew had it done and it was more tramatizing for my brother who is the g-d father then it was for my nephew. It happens so fast and the baby is back to sleep after 5 minutes. If we are having a boy we just have to tell the hospital not to do it so that we can schedule it. It's done by a person called a Moyal. Who is a licensed doctor and usually a doctor as well. Because of the religious aspect of it, it's not a decision that we have ever had in our family.

BrightFirefly · January 2015

I don't see any purpose in circumcision, however, I am leaving the decision to DH if we have a boy and he votes to circumcise.

deutschbaby · January 2015

Karissa764 said:
We are going to get our son circumcised. Just personal preference and there are less complications getting done that not (that I have seen).

Late to this discussion, but what is the evidence of this?

My husband is German and the VAST majority of European men are NOT circumcised. It is never done routinely except for religious reasons. Trust me, European men are not walking around with constant penis/fore skin problems.

It is a cosmetic procedure and there is no medical reason to have it done. We won't be doing it if we have a son, because it isn't necessary and we don't have a religious need for it either.

It's a touchy subject and many people
Do it for religious purposes. But parents should know that routine circumcision is not neede for medical reasons. It is a cosmetic procedure. Millions of men live perfectly healthy and sexually fulfilling lives with their foreskins in tact. Just ask Europe :-)

veggiemo · January 2015

On the argument of hygiene, I just wanted to say that before they took my son to have the procedure, the urologist who performed it told me it was "completely aesthetic" and there was no medical reason to have it done. Yes, we still went though with it, but not for ease of keeping it clean. It's what my husband wanted and I agreed.

Edited: totally posted a draft from several hours ago by accident.

deutschbaby · January 2015

KonaCoffeeBean said:

crikit83 said:

KimberlyandThor2014 said:

Trampslikeus said:
This was probably the only parenting decision I felt comfortable leaving 100% in my husbands hands. Not having a penis and all, I am deferring to a person I trust completely who does have one.

I see both sides of the debate and frankly, until the inevitable hyperbolic comparison to female genital mutilation pops up, think it's an interesting topic that I just don't lean too strongly in to one camp or the other
All of this! But I find it very strange to cut off a piece of one's anatomy that is the natural design of the human body. It feels very wrong to me, but I do understand the other side of the coin and I am going with my husband's opinion since he is the one with the penis and the experience of having one!

I hate the idea of it, because I would never want a part of my own body removed from me, personally, but we are going to circumcise our baby boy. I will cringe and get over it lol
I guess I kind of equate it a bit with getting your wisdom teen out. They're a natural thing that your body grows, but they cause a lot of trouble if you leave them there (for most people, anyway.) On the other hand, you don't get your appendix removed preventatively, but I think the stats on wisdom teeth being an issue are a lot higher than your appendix.

I'm also in the DH gets final say camp on this one, although we're totally researching it together.

I don't think that's a valid analogy. As you point out, a lot of people have problems caused by wisdom teeth. That's not the case with forskin. I think if there were a medical benefit (not just the cultural benefit) to circumcision, then it would be very common throughout the developed world, not just the U.S.

******QUOTE FAIL****

Agreed. Seriously, the vast majortiy of (non Jewish/non Muslim) German men have intact fore skin. They are not all getting circumcised as adults en masse. My DH has his foreskin as do all of the men in his family. It's nothing like his wisdoms teeth.

I get that this is a tough subject, but having been with men who both are and are not, in my personal experience, I think sex is better for my DH because he does have a foreskin. It protects the penis when not erect. It's a part of te anatomy that makes perfect sense from a biological standpoint.

This is a very American thing. Like you said, it is not done routinely in the rest of the developed world (religious ceremonies aside). It's cosmetic to do it routinely to newborns.

Emilywooddesign · January 2015

This is very interesting. My husband is not circumcised & it was the first uncut peen I've ever seen/ been with ( the sex is unreal ) my brother is also not circumcised and neither one of them have had any issues, some women get a lot of yeast infections or bladder infections, it doesn't mean that they are dirty. If it was up to me I would circumcise my son because I think it looks nicer but my husband is strongly against it so I won't be having it done if I have boys. I would never judge or criticize anyone who chose it for their baby though. I was just curious to see what people's views on it were.

kej0004 · January 2015

pickles26 said:

On the medical side of things, the biggest reason I would recommend circumcision to a patient (luckily I don't see newborns and infants) would be risk of having chronic high risk HPV infection. The high risk strains can cause cervical cancer, penile cancer and oral cancer. Circumcision makes it less likely that a man will get a chronic HPV infection and chronic HPV infection is a risk factor for penile cancer. We don't typically screen the foreskin and glans in males to check for cancer like we do paps smears for cervical cancer. If I see a young male patient that is not circumcised I do highly recommend HPV vaccine to them. The HPV vaccine is available and now recommended for males as it is for females. Other than that it is purely a personal decision and I see pros and cons on both sides of things.

Side note about cervical/penile cancers:
Interestingly enough, when I recommend the HPV vaccine to parents of adolescent and teen boys and mention the risk of penile cancer 99% of them opt for the vaccine, conversely, when I talk to parents of adolescent and teen girls about the risk of cervical cancer, many are still against vaccination.

I apologize for the rambling

That IS really interesting. I'd love to make a lot of sweeping, pseudo-feminist generalizations based on this, but that's a discussion for another time. Thanks for the tidbit of info, though!

deutschbaby · January 2015

jen66896689 said:
I was with my son when he got circumcised at 4 days old. The board they strapped him to was the worst part. Seeing a little baby spread eagled. But then they put the little contraption on his weenis and snipped and he started to fuss a little and I put a little sugar water in his mouth and he stopped fussing and they were done. He never cried and it was totally healed in 3 days. I'll have our next son circumcised in the hospital as well. Maybe my first was just immune to pain, but it really didn't seem like a big deal at all. Not to mention, I personally think uncircumcised penises are totally disgusting looking and it really would stop me from being intimate with someone. I would hate for my son to grow up and fall in love with some girl who thinks of it like I do and won't sleep with him because of it. I want my boys to grow up and have awesome sex lives and to me, that requires a circumcised wee wee

Im terribly sorry you feel this way. The very best sex of my life has been with an uncircumcised man (coincidentally it's my DH). Yes I have been with both. They look EXACTLY the same when aroused and work the same way during sex. Foreskin is a natural part of the body, but it disappears when the penis is errect. They only look different when flaccid and well... Personally, I don't find a flaccid penis very arousing... Circumcised or not!

This link is from the DailyMail (yeah yeah I know, not exactly academic), but the map is interesting. I think most American women think it's normal, but if they dated men in Europe, they would realize it's certainly NOT normal there.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2279166/Circumcision-DOES-reduce-sexual-pleasure-making-manhood-sensitive.html

deutschbaby · January 2015

mamahawk12 said:
The assumption that those of us who chose the procedure haven't researched the topic is pretty sanctimonious. There are valid arguments on both sides of the table; neither choice is wrong or makes you a better parent regardless of what you may think.

I have yet to read a sigle comment of one parent claiming to be a better parent because they did or did not circumcise.

Have I missed something? No one is saying that. It's a legal, and elective procedure. Your child, your choice. But there IS a lot of misinformation here that is being corrected (it is not medically necessary to be done routinely to newborns). An intact penis is hygienic, and does not detract from a fulfilling and active sex life. Those are facts.

Seriously... Did I miss where someone called someone else a bad parent here?

Mama-Bear · January 2015

Did it, we'd do it again. IMO DH should get extra votes because he obviously has one. As far as "I don't want him to look different than his dad", he's going to look different just because of the hair, a little extra skin isn't going to be anything in comparison to that.

sassypants2010 · January 2015

There is a history of prostate and penile cancer on both sides of our family so we decided to circumcise our son. I get a lot of flak for it because my cousin said it is mutilation but I feel the chance to lower my son's risk of cancer of the penis is worth it, if he is upset when he is older I well explain that to him. It wasn't a clean up issue or a society choice, and I believe each family has their own pros and cons in this matter so I think what ever makes you guys comfortable you should do and leave other people's opinions in the under consideration category.

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