Mother in Laws

mrsarledge0604 · January 2015

I know I'm not the only person needing to vent about a mother in law. My hubby's mom is SO negative! When we told her we were pregnant with our two year old the first thing she said was "have you thought about this financially?"....
With this pregnancy... She says, "oh man that's a full house. 3 bedrooms all filled up and no playroom." And "have you actually seen the heartbeat yet? With Brit having the flu, I'm worried about the baby"

Am I wrong to be so annoyed by that? Maybe it's just because I have to hear her make comments all the time like that but COME ON! A simple congrats would do, thanks!

Any Mother in Law stories?

princesslockness · January 2015

Already posted this on another thread but my MIL told me gluten would cause a miscarriage or anomalies with baby. She also posted on Facebook after we told her not to. The she threw a fit when we told her to take it down.

Kalidawn523 · January 2015

Today we just found out that my MIL told my SIL we are pregnant. My SIL was very negative about our pregnancy last year and didn't talk to me until after my loss. So naturally we wanted to wait- especially since we are in limbo with a fairly high chance of another loss. DH and I are so mad at her for breaking our very personal news. She's loosing privilege of knowing early next time.

SummerOH · January 2015

My MIL is amazing. It's MY mom who is nuts. She doesn't know we are expecting and won't for as long as I can avoid it. She knew we were TTC and told me I was selfish for doing so when my sister is pregnant (due May). She said I should let her have the spotlight since she had to share last time (nephew is 3 months older than DS, coincidentally will be the same this time). Also said having my son close to my sister's made it hard for her to give them equal attention (she watches my nephew but made us take DS to daycare, which actually backfired on her bc it's been a blessing!).

So yes, I completely understand family being awful. I don't know what possesses parents to be like that. Those people are just like that, though, little balls of misery in the world. Tune her out if you can.

GR8TDANEMOM · January 2015

MIL can be frustrating. Mine means well but makes annoying comments all the time. With DS she would say I pray every night that he doesn't have a giant birthmark on his face. Um ok. She also told me I would have to cut my hair short because I hair could cut his circulation off.

This time around she says she doesn't want to talk about it cause something bad will happen.

I just roll my eyes and laugh at her ridiculousness.

mrsarledge0604 · January 2015

My SIL is the same way. She literally pouted when we got engaged and then when we got pregnant said "great. I'm the oldest and he gets married first and has the first grand babies." It's not a competition!!!!
People are nuts!

I would roll my eyes too. I can't believe your MIL would tell her. People have no filter.

mrsarledge0604 · January 2015

Kate08Young said:
Already posted this on another thread but my MIL told me gluten would cause a miscarriage or anomalies with baby. She also posted on Facebook after we told her not to. The she threw a fit when we told her to take it down.

I would seriously have to hurt her. Lol

aRBe · January 2015

I already complained about mine in another thread, mine are so negative it makes me crazy. I've learned to give it right back to them.

MIL: I guess you need to buy a bigger house
Me: Sure, you buying
MIL: (Who is cheap as f) ::studdering:: I guess you have enough space

mrsarledge0604 · January 2015

My son is two and has never seen MIL without me or my husband there. She is always asking when I will let her keep him overnight. Umm, never? Why do you need to?

Plus before he was born she told me her husbands daughter got mad at them for giving their son peanut butter. She was like how ridiculous is that?

Ummm not at all? He was only 10 months old ya crazy!

myfriendscallmemeg · January 2015

mrsarledge0604 said:

Ummm not at all? He was only 10 months old ya crazy!

My 9 month old has had PB. But there's no history of allergy on either side.

mrsarledge0604 · January 2015

myfriendscallmemeg said:

mrsarledge0604 said:

Ummm not at all? He was only 10 months old ya crazy!
My 9 month old has had PB. But there's no history of allergy on either side.

But that is you giving your own child peanut butter. She gave it to him without his moms consent.

queenb+ · January 2015

Ugh, this is why my MIL doesn't know yet. I love her and she means well, but not ready to go there.

I'm getting sick pleasure from your stories, keep 'em coming ladies.

SummerOH · January 2015

mrsarledge0604 said:

myfriendscallmemeg said:

mrsarledge0604 said:

Ummm not at all? He was only 10 months old ya crazy!
My 9 month old has had PB. But there's no history of allergy on either side.
But that is you giving your own child peanut butter. She gave it to him without his moms consent.

Doctors have reversed their "no peanut butter" advice after studies have shown allergies don't have much to do with when it is introduced. It CAN be a choking hazard if given in globs, but a thin layer is NBD. So maybe she didn't think to ask since it's not a risk anymore.

myfriendscallmemeg · January 2015

mrsarledge0604 said:

myfriendscallmemeg said:

mrsarledge0604 said:

Ummm not at all? He was only 10 months old ya crazy!
My 9 month old has had PB. But there's no history of allergy on either side.
But that is you giving your own child peanut butter. She gave it to him without his moms consent.

Okay. But my MIL gave her her first ice cream at 8 something months. I found out 15 minutes after the fact. I'm not going to let that one little thing cause a bigger rift in what is going to be a lifelong relationship.

I'm not trying to pick fights. I'm just saying, don't sweat the little things. I'd much rather have my child introduced to icecream/sweets earlier than I'd like than hold a grudge against my MIL for the rest of her life.

Then again, I may be the odd one out here. I'm also on team crazy bio-mom, team gets along with MIL.

mrsarledge0604 · January 2015

Then again, I may be the odd one out here. I'm also on team crazy bio-mom, team gets along with MIL.

Lol... Oh my mom is crazy. But she is supportive. And she doesn't say things like my MIL, "oh man, Connor is still taking his paci at night? He's two!"

My MIL gave me a scrapbook with a picture of my husband and his BOTTLE at 3 years old. Please talk to me about my two year old getting a pacifier only at night.

It's just a long list of times she's pushed my buttons. And telling her this time about the new pregnancy and her being like "have you actually heard a heartbeat yet?".... It made me so mad

GypsySoul74 · January 2015

I gave my son peanut butter at his 9-month appointment.

But that was me. If it had been my mom or my MIL, I would have lost my shit.

Luckily, they're both awesome and would double-check on stuff like that first.

+lisamarie+ · January 2015

My MIL doesn't say anything to me. She will just send whiny emails to DH about never seeing her grandkids. Well you get off work at 1:30 and live 30 minutes away, come see them!! When we tell her we are having #4, I think she will be happy, but also ask if we are serious. She is one of two kids and only had two herself so a big family isn't something "normal" for her.

Starynightsky24 · January 2015

My MIL is passive aggressive. She hates me but (poorly) pretends not to.

BIL however, is the one with the mouth. When we announced this pregnancy to them his respond was, "was that when (DS) started saying "uh-oh"? About 4 weeks ago when you found out?". Yup. It took everything in me not to respond.

Both DS and this baby were VERY planned.

Oh- he also recommended to DH that DH and I should get counseling. Yup. He's rarely even been around us when both of us were together.

melsner · January 2015

My MIL doesn't know yet because, well, I hate her.

Not so short list of reasons:

When I got into a debilitating motorcycle accident she didn't call, offer to cook us a meal, visit, or really ask if I was okay, ever. She lived 30 min away. I didn't walk for a year and a half.

She boycotted DH's 30th birthday and refused to even call him because she was upset about DSSs ADD medication, and she told DSS that.

She "gave" us a car that she spent $300 dollars on when we were at our lowest and I couldn't work. Kept telling us she was about to send us the title. When the car got totaled by a city dump truck, she stole all the insurance money ($2000) stating "I never gave you the car." This was after we emptied the little savings we had left to buy another shitty car. Had to borrow money from my father for 6 months just to keep from losing our apartment.

She's a drunk, conspiracy theorist who worships Glen Beck.

There's more. That was just some of the more fun tidbits.

ShellyR · January 2015

My MIL just found out that her daughter is having twins. We are not telling her about our baby until we have to but I don't think she will be very interested in our little bean. Maybe that's the silver lining since I'm due within days of her daughter.

divinemsbee · January 2015

My MIL and I have, finally, reached a detente where we can be civil to each other. I still think she acts like a passive aggressive child and she still isn't my biggest fan either, but we can put up with each other.

Now, for years (yes, plural) she did not speak to me. When H (then BF or FI) and I would go out to eat with MIL and FIL she would conspicuously angle her chair away from me and refuse to make eye contact or respond to anything I said or anything that was said about me. When she first met me, H and I had just been dating a few months and one of her first questions (this is the brief window when she spoke to me) was 'Who do you think is going to pay for your wedding?' followed by a bunch of insinuations about my family's monetary situation (I grew up lower-middle class, moved to comfortably but very much still middle class).

This lead to a blow-up before our wedding that caused H not to speak to her for 6 months. At our wedding, and rehearsal, she was totally pill-ed up, leading to such gems as 'I can't believe this is going to be the mother of my grandchildren' (in the church, in front of my MOH) and 'Well, she's been planning this since the day they met.' Even her best friend that we had invited was embarrassed for her. It ended with her getting in a snit with my 90 year old grandmother who has been such a support to us.

Basically, she's the World's Biggest Victim (tm) and Bad Things Always Happen to Her that She Never Did Anything to Cause. She has quit every job she's ever held because people are always 'mean' to her and she has no idea what caused it. It wouldn't be worrisome, but I'm pretty sure that we're the ones his parents will lean on once they reach an age where his dad can no longer work. Which is scary. I've never been inside their house because it approaches Hoarders/squat levels of pretty much unlivable. It's why it's taken H so long to be able to see dirt places, because that's what he grew up with.

Anyway, we can deal for short periods of time or on FB. Fortunately we do not live near them.

allelsefaild · January 2015

@divinemsbee, your MIL definitely sounds like a piece of work. Unbelievable. I'm impressed you can actually tolerate (aka not kill) her.

gingerygirl · January 2015

I wish my mother in law was here to annoy me about my pregnancy. She passed away almost a year ago. She had an incurable disease. She was an amazing woman and she always told me that we needed to get aboard the baby making train as soon as possible so she could get some grand babies. Wish we'd gotten on that train sooner.

My grandmother in law, however, is......well not very nice. She's a bitter old hag. She's never liked me in the first place, mostly because she's very racist (im white, hubby is black). She would constantly call up my husband to ask for his help with this or that and say that I wasn't invited. Or, if I did go over there, she would give him food or other treats and glare at me as if to dare me to ask why she didn't offer me any. After my MIL died, she blamed me. Said it was my fault because I caused her too much stress. Really? I bought her groceries, I spent time with her, I made sure she got out of the house, I gave her rides places, and I caused her too much stress? In the whole 10 years that she was sick, the grandma only visited her maybe once a year.
She said that I had no idea what it was like to lose a daughter. What she didn't know and probably will never know is that I know exactly what it's like. She's crazy. She threatened to hit me and probably would've if hubby didn't step in. Needless to say, she doesn't know about this baby and she's not going to. Thank goodness my husband agrees.

miskulin · January 2015

My MIL also posted on Facebook and said in the post that we said not to say anything. Seriously? This is our first and we feel that it's our story to tell, so we were upset that aunts and uncles might find out this way. Not at all how we wanted it.

mhaas28 · January 2015

My MIL told us if it is a girl she should get to name the baby... She had all boys

mrsarledge0604 · January 2015

mhaas28 said:
My MIL told us if it is a girl she should get to name the baby... She had all boys

Hahahahahahaha

etayislove · January 2015

My MIL is a passive aggressive wench too, it's really been hard to swallow some of the crap she says ever since DS was born.
-Hates the fact we had a midwife, even though we were at the best hospital in the state, then proceeded to laugh at me behind my back and make a nasty comment to my mom and sister when I had to get an epidural during labor.
-Told me my family doctor wasn't a good choice for my babies Dr.
-Mad at me for months about not letting her put a used car seat in her car for my kid.
-She took care of DS for awhile when I went back to work and never once told me when/where she was taking him in the car, found out second hand that she constantly took him to lunch, show off to friends, out for errands.
-Would act like a total bitch about breastfeeding and having to fed breast milk. Still making snide comments about me bfing.
-Always tells me DS is cold, is going to get sick because he's cold, etc.
-Has more toys at her house then we have at ours and keeps telling us we have to stop buying things DS likes because they should have things that DS wants to come to their house for.
-the latest one: Bought a second hand training potty from a Salvation army type place, because we SHOULD be training now. Um first, gross!!! Second, :grumpy cat NO:

I can't wait to hear all the new things she'll say about this pregnancy, I hope she comes up with new material at least.. :-h

mhaas28 · January 2015

mrsarledge0604 said:

My MIL told us if it is a girl she should get to name the baby... She had all boys
Hahahahahahaha

Yeah, I just rolled my eyes. She is a peach and this is just one of many stories. LOL

skinandbones · January 2015

mhaas28 said:
My MIL told us if it is a girl she should get to name the baby... She had all boys

Well isn't that cute.

skinandbones · January 2015

My FIL tends to be the problem. He just doesn't seem to understand boundaries.

We were team green last time and shared our boy name, Lennon. He went on and on for 6 months about how John Lennon was a drug addicted hippie Communist and didn't understand why anyone would name a child after him. Now he loves the name. Needless to say, this time we aren't sharing names at all.

He also gave me a lecture about when I should stop breast feeding. [-(

allelsefaild · January 2015

skinandbones said:

My MIL told us if it is a girl she should get to name the baby... She had all boys
Well isn't that cute.

ETA: image fail

dkizz82 · January 2015

I have a wonderful mother in law but these stories are very entertaining.

JoMunson · January 2015

My MIL is very...insistent.
-the day I got home from urgent care and diagnosed with HG she said FOR THE THIRD TIME "well I can't relate I just wasnt sick at all with my kids"
-we mentioned that we were hoping for three total and my MIL went nuts and told us that was ridiculous (she's one of four, I'm one of three, as is my mom and gramma) and in front of DH said "well I didn't even wanna be a mom!"
-we said "we're pregnant!" And her first comment was "you're going to breast feed, right?"
She said this comment because she was obsessed with the fact that my SIL didn't breast feed. She buys stuff for my nephew without parent permission (including a Halloween costume in August!), always inserts her opinion, and then just sort of stands there like "well aren't you going to do what I told you?"
My SIL and BIL had to move on when she was pregnant and she essentially raises my nephew cuz my BIL moved and SIL is finishing internships. I'm so glad well be raising our kids away from her and can leave when we disagree.

SidraJedi · January 2015

My MIL tries to get DD to call her "Mum"

I always call her grandma (to DD, not to MIL face, I call her By her FN) but if she keeps this mum thing up (DH is mad about it too and swears he will talk to her. It just started so I'll give him time) I will get all passive aggressive and start calling her glamma all the time even when I'm talking directly to her and not just to DD.

I really want to be confrontational and say "First of all, grow up you're a grandmother. Second of all I'm DD's Mum! " but she already thinks I'm a son-stealing shrew wife (in her family husbands and wives are not "really" family) so I really want DH to confront her.

cleblanc18 · January 2015

Hey ladies..... One day we will all be a MIL

thehurricaine · January 2015

mhaas28 said:
My MIL told us if it is a girl she should get to name the baby... She had all boys

Oh my god. This drives me nuts. My MIL is generally quite lovely but her side of the family got very excited and kept saying "oh MIL's name finally got her girl." The whole possessiveness thing faded over time as my MIL started to get what her role is and as she started to remember that babies and toddlers are exhausting. She loves being a grandma. Thank god we're over that.

ara_cale · January 2015

Wow, you girls make me feel like I won the MIL jackpot. Both my mom and my MIL are fantastic. In fact I might have to call them tomorrow and thank them for being so awesome. Still, your stories are funny.

allelsefaild · January 2015

No issues with either my mom or MIL, but my grandma is a pain. Not only has she put a strain on my parents' marriage with her constant interference, she drove me completely nuts too. The woman is the queen of guilt trips. She managed to obtain a key to my parents' house and likes to snoop through their stuff. As a teenager, I was not okay with it. Then she threatened to follow me if I moved away to college. My mom managed to talk her out of it somehow. It makes me sad that I tend to keep my distance from her as she's my only remaining grandparent, but I just can't with all the crazy. My mom is a saint for dealing with it for so long.

ShellyR · January 2015

@emt16‌ , my parents are functional hoarders. We live far away from them, but I'm already worried about my baby playing in their house when we visit. They would seriously freak out if I ever confronted them about it.

Gasbarro2011 · January 2015

I love both my Mom and my MIL dearly, but they can be a pain in the rear sometimes.

My mom loves guilt trips (as does all of my family). I told DH to stop me in my tracks if I ever start using guilt trips on anybody; I really really hate them.

MIL is the kind of person that I love and she loves me to pieces (sometimes too much). The problem is that she is super ridiculously OCD and thinks that she is right about everything. I know that she always means well, but she is usually wrong. In the last 6 months she blatantly told us not to have kids yet, 'you just don't know how much work it is.' All of a sudden she is an expert b/c SIL had a baby MIL has spent a few days with our nephew here and there. Her comments were starting to get very frustrating, so DH asked FIL about it. FIL said that she thinks our house is a death trap since it isn't as clean as hers. She doesn't work, but cleans constantly and vacuums everyday (horizontally one day and vertically the next) so of course my house isn't as clean as hers.

I am worried about telling all of our parents. My mom will be thrilled, but I don't know if she can hold it in and not tell anyone else until we are ready. Of course the longer I wait to tell her the more her feelings will be hurt for not telling her sooner. We have no idea how MIL will react. Once upon a time we were her only hope for grandchildren (SIL never wanted kids), but now she is hardcore negative about us having a kid any time soon.

ammc07 · January 2015

I dislike my MIL more then I dislike anyone else. My SIL doesn't talk to her anymore and DH only talks to her because everyone else has written her off and as the oldest he feels like he to be there for her. She's one shitty comment away from him being done with her too though. She's a drunk, she's negative about EVERYTHING, she thinks that she's entitled to everything and doesn't understand that her piss poor decisions have consequences. When she came to the hospital after we had DD she looked at DH and said 'she's cute, are you sure she's even yours? You were born bald and she has a full head of black hair'. Please note that I was in the room along with m grandmother and she didn't say it as a joke or quietly.

We weren't going to say anything to her until after our first appointment (even though we've told everyone else) but she asked what we were doing for new years eve and DH slipped up and said that we were just hanging at home and I didn't feel good because of the baby. He tried to change the subject really quick hoping that she didn't catch it but she did. Her response was 'wow son, I figured you were just shooting blanks.' She knows that we've been trying for almost two years now. He scoffed and said that he had to get off the phone and that was the end of that conversation.

/rant

I could seriously go on and on about what a effing winner she is.

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