Push Presents/Husband Presents

mombod · January 2015

I personally hate the term push present and definitely do not expect a gift. That being said my husband bought my engagement ring and wedding band with the idea that they are stackable (thin bands). He plans to get another band with the baby's birthstone to celebrate the birth. It might be after the birth or for Mother's Day. Either way I think it's sweet he wants to do it and I will be very grateful and cherish it. We won't call it a push present.

lexyraejay · January 2015

I'm not a fan of the concept of a push present...feels like a marketing gimmick from Kay Jewelers or something. All of these "made-up" holidays and occasions are just that, made up! However, if anyone's husband spontaneously decides to give them something on the occasion of their child's birth, that is a sweet thing to do. Likewise, if you feel like getting him something as a thank you for helping you through the challenges of pregnancy, go for it! I'd get something that he'd like, just like getting a birthday gift or gift for some other special occasion.

QuiQuo15 · January 2015

No push presents here. When we had our first daughter, I bought to my husband a small globe ($20 value) with wrote something special about his new adventure in the world with our little princess.
This time, I think I will be more than happy if I will find flowers when I will be back home from the hospital :-)

RIngReady · January 2015

My Dh loves any excuse to get me a gift. With my son my Dh surprised me with pearl earrings( pearl is my son's birthstone) with a beautiful note thanking me for caring for, and delivering the best gift of his life. Ironically I had found an inexpensive pearl tie pin a few weeks prior to delivery and gave that to Dh with a card saying something along the lines of " thank you for working so hard to support our growing family"
Technically they could be considered push presents, but the sentiment and reasoning behind the gifts were much more meaningful and the gifts are something we both treasure and wear frequently.
I'm guessing we will do something similar again this time because we want to not because it is expected.

knjzacher · January 2015

@frownyface‌ uuuuuh are those yours for real? I REQUIRE A PAIR, please tell me where you got them

knjzacher · January 2015

The Nope pants, I mean

twinklepits · January 2015

@tyrion @somewheresublime86 @cwiceangel @pinkdahlia44 @Mel&John2013 @frownyface

Yea, she's not getting a fucking thing. This woman is ridiculously audacious. I told her that there was no way we'd be able to do that, seeing as, you know.... we'll be tight on money with a new baby. She was actually visibly annoyed that I said no. Sorry woman, not everyone can afford the ridiculous rocks that you have dangling from your bony arthritic knuckles.

@frownyface - I NEED THOSE PANTS.

JAP09-02 · January 2015

I think it is really sweet that you are thinking of your husband. You should do whatever you're compelled, whether that be a nice hand written note or gift.

My DH did get me a gift for the birth of our first daughter. It was a band with diamonds in it (matched a necklace he got me for my pharmacy school graduation). I found the gesture very thoughtful and remember the moment our lives changed forever every time I look at it. That said, it was not expected nor did he give me anything for the birth of DD2. He did gift me the matching earrings for Christmas and said they were from DS, so I doubt he'll give me anything at this birth. I'm just excited that he'll have more than 1.5 days off this time.

I don't think a gift should be given because it is expected or a "social norm." Oh, and I've had c-sections with both, never even got to the pushing part!

chicsugar · January 2015

Where I live, push presents are very common. I have already had people ask what I want... seriously. My honest answer is that I have put no thought into one and I definitely am not expecting one. My husband could go either way; he's very generous and thoughtful with me, but as I haven't (and won't bring this up), I have no way of knowing.

ally3242 · January 2015

Push presents are also pretty common where I live...but I live in Dallas and everyone here is incredibly vain. With DS #1, DH got me a really pretty and understated necklace from Tiffany with a small diamond pendant on it, since diamond was DS's birth stone. It was incredibly thoughtful of him, especially since I told him I didn't need anything. So, when he gave me the necklace, I felt like I had to get him something, so I bought him a round of golf at a really nice course nearby. This time around, I really don't think he'll get me anything and I hope he doesn't. We just bought a new car two days ago and there are a lot of things I'd like to do around the house.

lexyraejay · January 2015

twinklepits said:
@tyrion @somewheresublime86 @cwiceangel @pinkdahlia44 @Mel&John2013 @frownyface

Yea, she's not getting a fucking thing. This woman is ridiculously audacious. I told her that there was no way we'd be able to do that, seeing as, you know.... we'll be tight on money with a new baby. She was actually visibly annoyed that I said no. Sorry woman, not everyone can afford the ridiculous rocks that you have dangling from your bony arthritic knuckles.

@frownyface - I NEED THOSE PANTS.

Some people clearly do not understand what a gift is!

kjuryfl · January 2015

With my daughter DH bought me a necklace with my daughters initials engraved on a charm. We also took a vacation before she arrived. I hope to get another charm for this baby and take a trip as well. To each their own.

Blergbot · January 2015

I was thinking of getting H a gift, but I had no idea about the stupid name. But since people have commented that Father's Day won't be too far away, I think I'll just save the gift for that. I'm thinking of getting him a manly diaper bag from Dadgear. But the beauty of the Father's Day option is that I'll have two months to see if I think it's something he'd actually need/use.

I think the couple's massage is a winner. We'll probably go out for a nice dinner.

As for the SUV thing, we just got one, because it was a good, practical decision that we made together. And we bought a 2009. Buying someone a car for having a baby seems pretty excessive.

lexyraejay · January 2015

RHoPA1109 said:

kjuryfl said:

With my daughter DH bought me a necklace with my daughters initials engraved on a charm. We also took a vacation before she arrived. I hope to get another charm for this baby and take a trip as well. To each their own.

I really agree with this statement in this situation. I don't understand why people are saying that these gifts are "absurd." I don't care what other people do with their money.

ETA: quote fail

I get where you're coming from. I have a problem with it because it seems like there's mounting social pressure for the spouse to give the new mom an extravagant gift. It's almost not a gift anymore if it's expected.

AmCheri · January 2015

I doubt anyone here would disagree with the to-each-her-own sentiment. But that's not the point. OP asked for feedback on possible gifts ideas and then asked whether she's "just a little bit insane." So, people are offering solicited opinions. And I, for one, gave an opinion based on how I view it. Aside from that, I could not care less what others do.
Edited to be sure the above fairly reflected the original post.

jk3610 · January 2015

NMS. DH's gift is that I am spending hours and hours pushing out his child, and my gift from him is that he helped me create something beautiful. No presents needed.

Unknown · January 2015

This content has been removed.

SuperFudge00 · January 2015

Never heard of this. Wouldn't mind if DH got a keepsake item with baby's birthstone, but I'm not asking for it so that means I'm 99.9% not getting it.

somewheresublime86 · January 2015

RHoPA1109 said:
Also, how do you know Mary didn't get a gift? Maybe she just isn't bragadocious like your cousin, so the news didn't make the Bible final cut. I have to exit. I can't.

Ha! The totally insightful bible verses about the Virgin Mary's push present got lost somewhere between Mary and Joseph's arrival in Bethlehem and the wise men's visit. Love it!

Scarlettg · January 2015

If a box of sushi and a bottle of wine count as a push present, then I want one. But only because I will be so glad to have these things in my life again. If DH buys me anything more expensive I will not be happy because our budget is going to be stretched tight enough as it is and we both value practicality over shiny new stuff. That said, if you want to do it and your budget allows for it, who am I to say no?

themainemama1 · January 2015

Haha one of DH's friends asked him if he was getting me a push present for baby 3. He said "yah baby 3 is going to get me a present and push me out of the bed". But in all seriousness we are saving up because I can't fit all the kids in my vehicle so it's time for a minivan. I will have to buy it before I push but it will be both of our presents

jennip68 · January 2015

In my area it's also very common to get "push presents". I think it's odd... But we are always buying little "sussies" for each other.(just because gifts... Not because we're supposed to) For our first baby I had a shirt in our hospital bag that said Game Over with a pict of a dad changing a diaper and this time I got a shirt that says You can't Scare me bc I've got TWO daughters. I guess he kind of got me a "push present" but it wasn't one... I have a set of 3 stackable diamond rings he bought me for our anniversary several years ago and he had my daughter's birthstone added to one of the bands. He did it months after I had our daughter and I never expected it.
The word "push present" sounds so disingenuous... Like you deserve a gift for doing something that you physically need to do to get a baby into this world... No one NEEDs a gift for that. A baby is plenty.

scarneae · January 2015

I like the idea of getting a gem stone ring but no way would I let DH buy me a diamond ring, as that is too expensive. I was planning on getting my husband an engraved pocket watch because he has mentioned wanting one over the years and I think it would be the perfect gift he would cherish and be proud to pass down to our son one day. However I probably will wait till Father's Day or another time as money will be tight and we will be buying a new car before I go back to work (DH Chevy s-10 won't work with a baby). So although I like the idea of gift exchanging at such a meaningful time, I am too stingy with our money.

cwiceangel · January 2015

mbm1983 said:
Wait didn't the wise men bring shit? Maybe that was her push present?

But wasn't that for Jesus? I'm not religious so maybe I don't have the story completely straight...? I don't know what a baby would do with all that crap though.

marirosem07 · January 2015

I'm totally with the other ladies willing to get booze as a "push present", especially with my heritage it's tradition to have a shot of whiskey after the baby's born. I can't wait!!

SuperFudge00 · January 2015

mbm1983 said:
Wait didn't the wise men bring shit? Maybe that was her push present?

You want some frankincense and myrrh?

kerimontanye · January 2015

I always thought that the end of pregnancy was a present enough. I mean DH did get me an suv but this is our fourth child and our car wasn't optional anymore.

karboss · January 2015

I like the idea of booze. Someone mentioned a good dark stout helps to bring the mother's milk. Old wive's tail for sure but I'll take it. Perhaps DH can start brewing a batch now and have it ready to bring me in the hospital!

PinkDahLia44 · January 2015

@Blergbot said:
I was thinking of getting H a gift, but I had no idea about the stupid name. But since people have commented that Father's Day won't be too far away, I think I'll just save the gift for that. I'm thinking of getting him a manly diaper bag from Dadgear. But the beauty of the Father's Day option is that I'll have two months to see if I think it's something he'd actually need/use.

I think the couple's massage is a winner. We'll probably go out for a nice dinner.

As for the SUV thing, we just got one, because it was a good, practical decision that we made together. And we bought a 2009. Buying someone a car for having a baby seems pretty excessive.

Just from my experience, DH uses his diaper bag all the time. He picked out a backpack style that we registered for. However, DH is also alone with our son a lot (like right now I am at work so he has DS for the day). I really think it depends how much your H will be going out with the baby without you, whether or not he'll need his own diaper bag.

adeaea1 · January 2015

Reading this... I just told my husband he can get me a top ring to go with my wedding band and engagement ring when we're done having kids with all of their birthstones. I said the colors will look awesome. He asked what April's birthstone is so I looked it up and it's diamond. Fail. Haha

Blergbot · January 2015

PinkDahLia44 said:

I was thinking of getting H a gift, but I had no idea about the stupid name. But since people have commented that Father's Day won't be too far away, I think I'll just save the gift for that. I'm thinking of getting him a manly diaper bag from Dadgear. But the beauty of the Father's Day option is that I'll have two months to see if I think it's something he'd actually need/use.

I think the couple's massage is a winner. We'll probably go out for a nice dinner.

As for the SUV thing, we just got one, because it was a good, practical decision that we made together. And we bought a 2009. Buying someone a car for having a baby seems pretty excessive.
Just from my experience, DH uses his diaper bag all the time. He picked out a backpack style that we registered for. However, DH is also alone with our son a lot (like right now I am at work so he has DS for the day). I really think it depends how much your H will be going out with the baby without you, whether or not he'll need his own diaper bag.

Thanks for the advice! I'll be the one staying home, so I think the little trial period will be perfect for us to see how much it would be needed.

adeaea1 · January 2015

Oh trust me I love diamonds! I was just really selling the idea based on having a band with different stones/ colors and then saw it's currently more diamonds.

SuperFudge00 · January 2015

RHoPA1109 said:

adeaea1 said:

Reading this... I just told my husband he can get me a top ring to go with my wedding band and engagement ring when we're done having kids with all of their birthstones. I said the colors will look awesome. He asked what April's birthstone is so I looked it up and it's diamond. Fail. Haha

I think diamonds are a win.

There are different color diamonds

AmyRN16 · January 2015

I like the idea of a push present. Of course the baby is the present but getting each other to say thank you for your support, effort, in put into this pregnancy and congrats is nice. It's definitely not stupid like some bitter people mentioned. It's thoughtful.

DPandMB · January 2015

Again just want to say thanks to everyone for their honest opinions. I really appreciate all of them and it's given me a lot to think about. Some really cool ideas out there and I totally see both sides. Thank you ladies.

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