~ October Angel Mamas' Check-In 12/29/14 ~

meredithcarole · December 2014

Welcome to the October Check-In. This check-in is for anyone who has had a loss with an EDD in October.

Members, give us an update on how you are doing. If I didn’t tag you with specific questions, it’s only because we didn’t hear from you last time (or for a few weeks) - please jump back in. Please pop in and let us know how you’re doing even if you don’t have time to respond to everyone individually this week! New members, introduce yourself so that we can get to know you.

If you get a BFP, please PM me so everyone can congratulate you!

Quote of the Week

"My role in society, or any artist's or poet's role,

is to try and express what we all feel.

Not to tell people how to feel.

Not as a preacher, not as a leader,

but as a reflection of us all."

~John Lennon

Question of the Week:

Do you find yourself reflecting on your year with 2014 drawing to a close?

Is that a good thing? How do you feel?

*** BFP mentioned at the end of this post ***

----------------------

Updates:

@Stephy1221- How are you doing this week?

@Momentomori- Were you able to get the HSG scheduled?

@vesperlynch - How long is your break from school?

@whitneyandconcep - How did the SA and the rest of the tests with the RE go? Do you have a plan of action yet? Also, congrats on the tentative crosshairs!

@yorkielove83 - Any word on the repeat loss testing? How about the foster care? Have you looked into that further?

Anyone else who missed the last check-in, jump back in with an update!!!

*Warning BFPs mentioned below*

*******

Congratulations to @daystardreamson graduating to PGAL! Please stop by that board to congratulate her.

ETA: fixed tag

meredithcarole · December 2014

Happy (almost) New Year, Ladies!

I hope the drawing to a close of 2014 means new chapters in our lives and new things to look forward to for all of us (TTC or otherwise).

I am doing pretty well post-surgery. I generally feel like I have pulled muscles (like I did too many sit-ups or something). The problem is my energy level. I will go out and do something and then I will be destroyed for 24 to 48 hours.

QOTW: So I am feeling a little introspective with the year drawing to a close. 12/31/13 was the beginning date of my cycle where I got PG last year. I remember very vividly sitting with H on New Years Eve and thinking that "this will be the year for us." It seems odd that this year has gone so differently from what I had planned. I think, though I would have preferred to learn it another way, that the big takeaway from this year is that nothing can be planned. We don't know what the future holds and maybe there is something to be said for stepping back a bit and not trying to control every aspect. That takes a lot of will power for me.

I wish for a beautiful 2015 for all of you. I hope you find it to be a better year than this one wherever it may take you.

XOXO,

Meredith.

renegadewhit · December 2014

Hey ladies. I finished up all of the RE testing week before last. We have an appointment scheduled with the RE on January 7th to review the results and make a plan, but I have some preliminary info.

CD3 bloodwork showed high insulin (supposed to be under 15, mine was 22)

Hysteroscopy showed no abnormalities in my uterus.

Ultrasound and SIS showed normally shaped uterus. One ovary is functioning properly and producing follicles. The other is covered in about 9 cysts.

X-ray showed tubes are open (I forget the name of the procedure).

SA showed all normal (DH didn't write anything down when he got the results and didn't remember anything beyond "normal" so I guess I'll get details on the 7th)

The testing went well. I had some pain during and after, but that all passed. I already have a PCOS diagnosis, and the testing all points to that. Nothing else was found.

On a positive note, I got my first positive OPK since October, and I might have actually O'd! I'm doubting that it was Friday, but I guess we'll see. (Details on the crazy train today).

QOTW: I haven't really spent much time thinking about 2014. Between being busy at work and busy with the holidays (and this week busy taking advantage of an actual FW), I haven't even really reflected at all. When I do look back, there's so much good stuff - my wedding, two weeks with my in-laws on the ranch in Mexico, my US reception, several trips, job interviews, a promotion at work, DH's new job - my loss was a part of all of it, but I'm feeling fortunate that it didn't define 2014 for me. Looking forward to 2015, I'm focusing on TTC, being healthier, enjoying being married, and working on my career. What I've learned this year is that I cant put any of those things on hold in hopes that any of the others will go a certain way.

Happy New Year everyone!

meredithcarole · December 2014

momentomori said:

@meredithcarole Thanks for the check-in! I hope that you are ready to rock and roll soon! I suppose being laid up is also contributing to the introspection. Wishing you a fulfilling 2015. ((hugs))

AFM: I didn't schedule testing for me yet. MH and I decided to wait until his appointment with the reproductive urologist and repeat SA (which was today) to decide where to go next. It makes me a little nervous because I am turning 35 in May, but that is what we decided to do. I got a very brief report back of "my count improved slightly" which I am looking forward to getting a more detailed report about.
We are most likely going to miss our FW this cycle, since his appointment and abstinence (to gather the troops as he called it) lined up. Although I had a big glob of fertile CM today and my temp hasn't risen yet, so we might be able to get a day in.

QOTW: I actually spend WAY too much time in my head, so I am trying not to go there with the close of the year. Fuck 2014, bring on 2015. That's my introspection.

35's not so bad. What day is your birthday? Mine is May 11th (I will be 36, however).

I hope you and H do get in a little BDing this evening or tomorrow. If you haven't had a temp shift then that is a good thing in this case. As for staying out of your head, that is wise. Don't go there. And yes, fuck 2014.

renegadewhit · December 2014

@momentomori‌ I hope you get some sexy time in before your temp shift. FX for good timing! Is YH as bad as mine with the details? I wish the doctor would just call me directly with results. It drives me crazy!

meredithcarole · December 2014

whitneyandconcep said:

Hey ladies. I finished up all of the RE testing week before last. We have an appointment scheduled with the RE on January 7th to review the results and make a plan, but I have some preliminary info. CD3 bloodwork showed high insulin (supposed to be under 15, mine was 22) Hysteroscopy showed no abnormalities in my uterus. Ultrasound and SIS showed normally shaped uterus. One ovary is functioning properly and producing follicles. The other is covered in about 9 cysts. X-ray showed tubes are open (I forget the name of the procedure). SA showed all normal (DH didn't write anything down when he got the results and didn't remember anything beyond "normal" so I guess I'll get details on the 7th) The testing went well. I had some pain during and after, but that all passed. I already have a PCOS diagnosis, and the testing all points to that. Nothing else was found. On a positive note, I got my first positive OPK since October, and I might have actually O'd! I'm doubting that it was Friday, but I guess we'll see. (Details on the crazy train today). QOTW: I haven't really spent much time thinking about 2014. Between being busy at work and busy with the holidays (and this week busy taking advantage of an actual FW), I haven't even really reflected at all. When I do look back, there's so much good stuff - my wedding, two weeks with my in-laws on the ranch in Mexico, my US reception, several trips, job interviews, a promotion at work, DH's new job - my loss was a part of all of it, but I'm feeling fortunate that it didn't define 2014 for me. Looking forward to 2015, I'm focusing on TTC, being healthier, enjoying being married, and working on my career. What I've learned this year is that I cant put any of those things on hold in hopes that any of the others will go a certain way. Happy New Year everyone!

Men really suck at writing down details. I am guessing you will get the detailed results on the 7th. I am so glad the rest of the testing went well. I hope the doctor has a great plan for you going forward!

I am happy the the loss didn't dominate this year for you. I think it is great that you had a positive take away from everything (don't put things on hold for something you can't plan).

Happy New Year!

daystardreams · December 2014

@meredithcarole I hope you are doing well and thank you for the check in.

I just wanted to jump in and give a quick update, I had a CP. Had my blood drawn again today, hoping my hcg is back at zero. I'm sorry I don't have time for a proper post but I wanted to chime in with a big fuck 2014 and well wishes for the next year!

renegadewhit · December 2014

@daystardreams I'm so incredibly sorry. I'm sending all the ((hugs))

stephy1221 · December 2014

@daystardreams I am so very sorry, hugs.

stephy1221 · December 2014

momentomori said:

Fuck 2014, bring on 2015. That's my introspection.

That sums it up rather well if you ask me

stephy1221 · December 2014

meredithcarole Thanks for the check in, I am glad you are recovering well.

last week was tough for me ( as it was for everyone I am sure) but I am doing better. The anniversary of my BFP is next month and I am just dreading from then to the anniversary of my D&C as I just feel this is will be many weeks of really rocky emotions.

QOTW: I do find myself reflecting. Many times a year just feels blah like nothing really significant occurred not so this year. 2014 started with the high if my BFP then the crashing low of my loss after that I started training for and completed my first 1/2 marathon and re-started finishing my degree at a new school. SO basically 2014 was one hell of a roller coaster year. I hope 2015 holds more highs than lows for sure but I can't deny this was a huge period of emotional growth.

meredithcarole · December 2014

daystardreams said:

@meredithcarole I hope you are doing well and thank you for the check in. I just wanted to jump in and give a quick update, I had a CP. Had my blood drawn again today, hoping my hcg is back at zero. I'm sorry I don't have time for a proper post but I wanted to chime in with a big fuck 2014 and well wishes for the next year!

@daystardreams‌ Oh God, I am so very sorry. So many (((hugs))).

meredithcarole · December 2014

stephy1221 said:

meredithcarole Thanks for the check in, I am glad you are recovering well.
last week was tough for me ( as it was for everyone I am sure) but I am doing better. The anniversary of my BFP is next month and I am just dreading from then to the anniversary of my D&C as I just feel this is will be many weeks of really rocky emotions.

QOTW: I do find myself reflecting. Many times a year just feels blah like nothing really significant occurred not so this year. 2014 started with the high if my BFP then the crashing low of my loss after that I started training for and completed my first 1/2 marathon and re-started finishing my degree at a new school. SO basically 2014 was one hell of a roller coaster year. I hope 2015 holds more highs than lows for sure but I can't deny this was a huge period of emotional growth.

Well, we only have to make it 3 more days and we can send 2014 packing. I think we are all feeling it a bit moving into January.

daystardreams · December 2014

Thanks everybody.

meredithcarole · January 2015

VesperLynch said:

I'm sorry this is late! Thanks so much for the check-in, @meredithcarole, and happy New Year! I hope you bounce back soon. I think it's normal for your body to take a while to adjust back after surgery. We expect too much of ourselves sometimes. @daystardreams -- that sucks so much. I'm so sorry. (((Hugs))) @stephy1221--I'm with you dreading these sucky anniversaries. Hopefully, the anticipation will be worse than the actual days and weeks. @momentomori--35 is not so bad! Fx for you. @whitneyandconcep‌ -- your year right up to those results sounds like a whirlwind. So much good stuff, and do much to deal with. AFM, I find myself more empathetic than I've been before my loss. It's been a tough experience, but I second that remark about emotional growth. I feel a bit more humbled than before and as if I don't always assume that stuff in people's lives works out. I'm happy this year is over. I can't wait to get through the shitty anniversaries in the months ahead. ((Hugs)), everyone!

Amen to that.

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