Natural/med-free birth roll call? SAIF join in!

pblge · December 2014

Hi folks,

I was debating putting this on the FTM playdate question list, but I decided maybe it makes more sense to start a separate discussion. I'm wondering who here did or is planning on a natural (med free) birth. There's something very odd about using so much science to get knocked up, then opting out of science for the birth of the baby (although we could debate the scientific evidence for the interventions commonly used). I guess it revolves around the whole "trust the body" mentality of natural birth that was discarded for me years ago (my body has not been trustworthy!), but I'd love to bring it back.

I'd love to hear what kind of birth you chose, how you prepared, whether it helped heal from the years of IF, or any other thoughts you have. I know some doctors also say that IVF grads are automatically high risk so would encourage against this, so I'd love to know if people got push back. Any other thoughts?

PS. On my BMB there was some hysteria about how all births are natural, so apologies if anyone is offended by the term. I'm confused by all that.

pblge · December 2014

@hbanana18 - Yes, I definitely agree that the important thing is a healthy baby regardless of how it comes out! Part of the trouble I'm having is that many in the natural birth movement don't feel that you can trust doctors to advise you on what is really needed for you and your baby. To hear them tell it, many doctors are more interested in their own schedules and risks of liability, which is why they're more likely to push for c-sections and other interventions. I hate to think that way, but the c-section rate at the hospital nearest us is almost 40%, which seems CRAZY. I asked one of the OBs in my current team, who delivers at that hospital, about birth plans and she said they discourage them because they set women up for disappointment. When I talked to the doula, she said that was code for "Don't bother making a birth plan because we won't pay any attention to it." I'm not sure who to believe there, but I've got an appointment with a different team next week!

dp21 · December 2014

I'm going in with no birth plan pretty much, the only thing I really don't want if I am able to have a vaginal birth is an episiotomy. Have you seen the documentary "The Business of Being Born"? It might still be available on Netflix. After watching that, I always thought a natural birth would be awesome but I also know myself and I can be kinda wimpy lol. I have no clue what labor feels like or how I'll handle it, so going into it with an open mind. I'll try without but if I feel I'll need an epidural, I'm open to it. Also thinking about requesting a tub room when I get admitted, there are 9 rooms with tubs at my hospital. It seems like it could be a cool way to labor. I just know once you start adding in the meds etc. puts at risk for c-section etc. etc. My OB doesn't consider me high risk b/c of IVF, just have been treating this as a normal pregnancy and I don't get why people are so technical over terms....everyone finds something to get offended about these days! I'm with @hbanana18 just want a healthy baby the most at the end of this!

dp21 · December 2014

I think they took it off netflix. Think I just found it on youtube, not sure if whole movie but it looks like it is. It's definitely a very interesting documentary

Let me know what you think!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvljyvU_ZGE

pblge · December 2014

A similar movie is Pregnant in America, although it's a bit more hostile in its bias.

(edited bc I want to be careful)

turquoisequeen · December 2014

I'm not opposed to an epidural but I guess I just don't know how I'll handle the pain of labor yet. Id like to think I could handle it but that's probably me knowing nothing of what that pain feels like. If I have to be induced then absolutely epidural needed. I asked my OB if she felt epidurals slowed down labor at all and she did not so I guess I'll just see how it's going the day of. She said there's no reason to be in pain unnecessarily and it's good to keep mom feeling comfortable so there's that too.

Lady2010 · December 2014

I am going to try (key word try) for a natural / med-free birth - but if I need the epidural I certainly will ask for it. And would prefer not to have any interventions - however, similar to everyone else here - at the end of he day - a happy and healthy little baby are all that matters so if the midwife or OB are strongly recommending something we will likely go with it to ensure a healthy baby.

It's interesting - my desire to try to be natural stems from the fact that we did go through IVF. We had to go through so much to get pregnant - something that should be 'natural' and since we don't know if we will ever be pregnant again, I figure might as well at least try.

To that end to prepare, we took some Hypnobirthing classes. DH and I don't fully buy into the philosophy - especially the part of no fetal monitoring, etc (and as stated we aren't opposed to Epi or meds / interventions if needed). The instructor was certainly a little crazy but we do feel we learned some good techniques for managing the pain and trying to focus on other things and relax. As well as positions, etc. It was more about learning the tools for us.

Please note - I am not saying there is anything wrong w Hypnobirthing and philosophy...it just isn't for me and DH.

shelbeans82 · December 2014

I would love to go med free. However, now with twins, I am keeping my expectations low about how the birth will be. If I can do a vaginal med free birth for twins, I am all for it and would try it, but I am expecting that not to be the case.

southernyankeegirl · December 2014

The Business of Being Born has lots of fallacies and biases. I watched it and found it had interesting points, but when it ventured far enough to directly imply that a mother who chooses pain meds won't love her baby as much as a mother who goes through childbirth without pain meds (using some absurd example of animals rejecting their young), that just pissed me right off.

I am all for each mother being able to choose what birth works best for her, but I think part of that definitely is using the right terms. The term "natural" isn't a very nice one as it does imply those who have pain meds aren't doing it "naturally" - it can become a gray zone as to what is "natural" when there's interventions such as a c-section or methods used to induce or augment contractions, but a mother who simply uses pain meds is delivering just as "naturally" as one who opts not to use them. And really, I guess it's just as insulting as if someone told me they have a "natural baby" compared to my IUI science experiment offspring. Phrasing is important for that reason - it can imply bias towards other choices.

That said, I know lots of Moms who have gone med free with minimal or no interventions and really loved their birth experience. I do think for some who I know were also PAIF that it did give them some faith back in their bodies. I also know lots of women who had epidural births and loved it and thought it was a wonderful experience. I guess a lot of it is expectations, too? Women who are dead set on one birth plan might get more upset if things don't go as hoped, but I don't ever see a downside to educating yourself on interventions and procedures ahead of time so you can be a good self advocate. And I have heard wonderful things about using a doula who understands and respects your wishes.

southernyankeegirl · December 2014

You know what bugs me? That the idea of going med free is so all-or-nothing it seems. If you choose a birthing center near me, you cannot have an epidural and any emergency requires transport via ambulance. If you choose the hospital, you cannot deliver out of bed or labor in a tub. I'm all for minimal interventions and would love to have the birth center experience, but I want the option of an epidural and I like being in a facility with emergency medical care available on site.

I know a few urban areas have birthing centers attached to hospitals, but around here, it's very "all or nothing", which is disappointing.

hopeby2015 · December 2014

Weirdly enough, ever since I got pregnant I've wanted a med free birthing experience, even though like you said @pblge‌, that we used so much science to get pregnant. And yet I never even considered the notion that it could be a way to restore faith in my body - something I will have to think about further ...

Anyway, with regards to push back from the OB, my OB did ask me to consider a c section a couple weeks ago. I haven't really had a chance to discuss our birthing plan with her yet but plan on doing so at the next appt. I'm going to inform her that I want to either go med free, if I can or have minimal medical intervention - ie: walking epidural, etc. And definitely no episiotomy - that freaks me out too!

I'm also interested in using the birthing bar, which is awesomely available in all the labor rooms at the hospital! The only thing I won't have is a doula, unfortunately, since the only doula I liked wasn't available.

Eta: of course, this is all said without any idea what contractions even feel like!

kmc84 · December 2014

I went in with the no plan plan

I knew that I wanted to make a good attempt at going med free, but that if things changed, I was open to intervention if needed and that I wouldn't beat myself up about it.

The hospital I delivered at has a 32% c section rate, but I put some of that number on the fact that it has a level 3 nicu, and many of the babies are planned sections due to the pre diagnosis of conditions.

My OB was great and the nurses I encountered were great too. I got to walk around a lot, sit on a birthing ball, move however was comfortable. I eventually broke down and got an epidural and I was so happy with the decision after it was done. I did feel disappointed in myself, but labor went so fast after the epi that I got over it quick! My nurses knew I wanted to try without meds and never offered me any. The epi was great for me. I finished dilating really quickly after I got it placed and I was able to nap for 2 hours. I had no pain, but could feel everything. I could feel my contractions better than the monitor was picking them up, I could feel her moving down when pushing was getting us somewhere. I know it's different for everyone, but it was great for me.

This time, I plan on keeping the same "no plan plan". If I can make it without the epi, great! If not, well, that's ok too!

My OB was very patient (I pushed for 90 minutes) worked on massaging me to avoid tears (I had a very minor tear) and he never made me feel rushed at all.

I honestly think it's a crap shoot sometimes with how things go. I have seen very "medically" minded professionals coach beautiful, med-free births, and I witnessed a midwife perform a horrifying, unnecessary episiotomy....

Also think about who you want at the hospital with you. My DH is a pretty calm person and I knew he would be fine and would support me no matter what. My IL's are very overbearing and my MIL has WITNESSED 6 of grandchildren's births and been just outside the door for the other 2. I knew I did not want my IL's at the hospital, or to even know we were there. I even registered as a secret patient so that if they called to ask if we were there, I would not show up on the registration list (they are really that bad....) We told no one except my BFF that I was in labor. A was almost a month early and we didn't know what things would be like after she was born. I was very happy with that decision. A had low blood sugar and while she didn't need to go to the nursery, I was pumping or nursing constantly to keep her eating. I was utterly exhausted and didn't need to entertain anyone. She was born at 3:26 am and we didn't start calling people until 2pm. We will be trying to do the same thing this time. We have two great friends who have offered to watch A while I'm in labor. I plan on kicking DH out after I get moved to PP so he can be with A. If we need his parents to watch her, it will happen, but we are trying to avoid it.

lawmom747 · January 2015

Background - When I was in grad school I became severely ill and the doctors thought I had meningitis. I was at a teaching hospital and I think about half the residents on staff tried to do my spinal tap. That was tremendously painful - and ultimately it had to be done with the assistance of radiology. The doctors messed it up, and a couple days out of the hospital the doctors determined I had a spinal fluid leak, and I had to go back to the ER to get that 'fixed'. The fix involved an injection by epidural - which was nothing compared to the spinal tap.

Sooo...birth of DD. Having heard and read about labor pains, etc, I knew I was going to get an epidural (not that painful IMO) but certainly planned for vaginal delivery. I was in labor a total of about 17 hours with two real rounds of active pushing toward the end. DD was down far enough that the nurse could see her full head of hair. But she just wouldn't come down any further. Her heartbeat became erratic on the monitor, and my OB prepped me for c-section. And good thing - because DD had the cord around her neck.

So c-section was certainly not my plan - but I didn't go in with a real birth plan. I'm a student of science and figured I would have to rely on the doctors' advice as things progressed. For that reason I planned and did deliver in a hospital. And I stand by my decision given that ultimately things may not have gone so well if I had to be transferred from a birth center to the hospital with cord around DD's neck in there.

But I have good friend who is a doula and who swears by the birth centers. In the end, it's about what you want and what will make you comfortable.

fjamil1 · January 2015

with my DD I didn't have a birth plan besides that I wanted to have the baby pain free and vaginally.I wasn't prepared for the c-section. I was induced and they started me with pitocin at 38 weeks due to GD and she wasn't moving much. I got to 1 CM in 18 hours and her HB kept on going down. The doctors asked me if I am willing to have a C-section that morning or they can let me wait to see how I do. since I was only 1 cm and had a long way to go we decided to get the c-section. I am happy at that time I made the right choice.

Now I want to have a vaginal deliver without pain meds. With this being twins my OB likes to do a repeat c-section but she is willing to work with me and we can have the "natural" (in sense I don't want another C-Section) delivery I want. Now, I just hope for Baby A to be head down at the time of delivery.

turquoisequeen · January 2015

@hopeby2015‌ what is a walking epidural? I've never heard of that but it sounds like a good option.

pblge · January 2015

@turquoisequeen - A walking epidural supposedly leaves you with enough control of your lower half that you can move around, although Ina May calls it the shuffling epidural, suggesting pretty limited mobility. That same link, btw, says that epidurals can indeed slow labor. I've heard that a number of places, but I've never seen the science, and I'm sure that doesn't happen for everyone.

@fjamil1 - Wow, twins in a VBAC! I hope that works. Sounds like a lot of doctors wouldn't go for that. Good luck!!

@hoppin747 - Scary story with your daughter. Glad it worked out well. Birth centers scare me too, TBH. So sorry to hear about your terrible experience in grad school!

@kmc84 - OMG, I can't believe you had to go incognito to avoid your MIL. Crazy!! I've always heard that if you go into labor with the idea of "I'll get an epidural if I need it," it's pretty much a guarantee that you will. What do you think?

@hopeby2015 - Why did your doctor suggest a c-section? Sorry the doula wasn't available. We had a hard time finding one, too. We got a short list of names, and only one person on the list was even willing to meet. Fortunately, we liked her a lot, which felt very lucky.

@ducky719 - I think that's a really good mindset to have: "This, too, shall pass," as my yoga teacher used to say when she left us in painful positions for a long time!

@Lady2010 - I think we're on the same page regarding birth after IVF. Sorry you didn't love the hypnobirthing class. What have you decided regarding fetal monitoring? That's a piece I haven't figured out yet.

@southernyankeegirl - I totally agree with you about TBoBB. That part--the c-section mothers won't love their children as much--is completely reprehensible. You also make good points about the terms. I don't know that I agree about the analogy of natural conception and natural birth. There's something about choosing a natural birth that is like choosing the more difficult path, I think. There are primitive, women-warrior connotations that aren't present for getting knocked up the old-fashioned way compared to needing help, but nonetheless I hear your point that it implies judgment towards other forms of birth. Again, the most important thing is a healthy baby and a birth that is ... satisfying, whatever that means for the parent(s).

As for your frustration that it seems to be all or nothing, I agree with that, too. There is a birthing center in town, but we've been on the wrong side of improbable statistics so many times that I'm just not going to risk that. The doula actually suggested a midwife collective that operates out of hospital south of town, which I had been thinking was too far away for us. It's 30 minutes without traffic, which upon further reflection isn't too bad (I had thought it was closer to an hour). I haven't gone yet (first appt with the midwives in a week), but it sounds like it might be the perfect middle ground. I'm not sure what birthing equipment they have, but the doula said they don't make you labor in bed and are very supportive of, ahem, med-free births. However, if something is going wrong, OBs are on call to do whatever is needed.

This is a really interesting conversation! As it happens, I heard some gossip last night from my friend who is an acupuncturist (one of the Buddhist lesbians, for those on the NYE thread). She said she has a new client who is an L&D nurse at the hospital nearest us (the one we'd go to if we stayed with our current doctor), and has recently moved back to this area from a more progressive town. She is extremely frustrated by her job, because she says that on a given day the C-section rate might be as high as 60%!! She says all the nurses can tell which doctors do them because a patient needs them, and which do them because they have dinner plans or whatever. She also shared that there are more doctors in the latter category than you would think. I know that's (now) third-hand gossip, but it still freaks me out. It's like an insider just confirmed all the worst claims by what could be viewed as the extremists in the birthing movement.

southernyankeegirl · January 2015

@pblge‌ - I think it's probably worth going to the hospital further away. We made a similar decision - a hospital 50 minutes away that is spa-like with a practice that is more low-intervention, as opposed to the hospital 10 minutes away that is a very cold clinical setting with an episiotomy- and c-section-focused set of doctors.

Mrs.AmyDylan · January 2015

I'm chiming in a bit late (SAIF here). I did a med-free birth at a birthing center. We did the Bradley method classes (12 weeks of classes, there are not for the uncommitted!).

I had been going to a traditional OB practice that was highly recommended (my pre-IF doc had dropped her OB side of her practice, so I had to switch). I had a horrible experience. Between a bleeding scare at 13.5w that they refused to have me come in, to missing lab reports, my doc missing three appointment and sending the NP, to just overall not listening to me, I quit.

DH was the barrier to me not leaving sooner. But at 32w I was hysterical over them calling leaving a cryptic vm, then not being able to find my chart for two days. He was finally on board!

I found my birthing center and made an appointment. They were amazing!! Holy crap, talk about a total 180. I had to most zen birth experience. I had J in the tub. Mind you, it wasn't pain-free. But it was manageable. It was really freaking hard, but totally worthwhile.

I do feel like it brought some closure to my IF wounds to be able to take control of a major aspect of my pregnancy/birth. However, now that we are back at the RE for #2, the old IF feelings are back

Good luck! My best suggestion is to take some NB classes. The breathing techniques are what helped me the most.

runawaylaurel · January 2015

I'm late to chime in too but I'm glad there's so much discussion about this!

I was born at home and grew up being told by my mother that med-free birth, specifically home birth, is normal and natural (hate that word too!). I was reading midwifery books in my teens! It always felt like the right option for me, and I have read study after study about the safety of homebirth. So we're having our baby at home, which will obviously not allow for meds or any interventions. I will have a certified nurse midwife and a birth assistant (doula) at my birth. We took Bradley method classes to prepare.

I am not a strong person when it comes to interacting with medical professionals and questioning decisions, so I can see myself, in a hospital setting, getting overwhelmed by a situation that feels out of control and just giving myself over to the doctors- even with my husband's support. SO MANY women I have talked to and birth stories I have read said "I wasn't progressing, so I got Pitocin, which made my contractions stronger, so I got an epidural, which slowed labor, and then I had to have a c-section for fetal distress." That's how you get these sky high c-section rates!

I obviously have a lot of opinions about this, and honestly, I'm so happy we all have the option to birth wherever and however we want to. I get lots of funny looks for choosing home birth and I know it's not for everyone.

runawaylaurel · January 2015

@Geordie314 - in addition to Husband-Coached Childbirth, I really liked Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way. It gives you some really great exercises to do with your partner. It's basically the Bradley class but in book form. And Ina May's Guide to Childbirth! Cannot recommend enough! The birth stories in there are so empowering, no matter how you plan on birthing.

hopeby2015 · January 2015

@turquoisequeen‌ - @pblge‌ answered it best but I didn't know about that little factoid - that it can slow labor down .. my doula suggested the walking epidural so that I could walk around in order to aid with the labor. The one thing I definitely plan on doing is warm/hot showers! I've only heard good things about that being a great pain management tool.

@pblge‌ - the way my doc phrased it was - u went so far and did alot to get pregnant that a c section would be safest for the baby and there would be less complications, whereas a vaginal delivery is safest for the mother .. i like my OB but when she suggested that, the first thing I thought was a c section is also easiest for you. At my next appointment, I told her I don't want to elective have a c section .. if it's medically necessary then that's fine but I'd like to try vaginally first and she was supportive of that. I gotta see if she'll also be supportive of the rest of my birth plan ..

pblge · January 2015

@hopeby2015 said:

@pblge‌ - the way my doc phrased it was - u went so far and did alot to get pregnant that a c section would be safest for the baby and there would be less complications, whereas a vaginal delivery is safest for the mother .. i like my OB but when she suggested that, the first thing I thought was a c section is also easiest for you. At my next appointment, I told her I don't want to elective have a c section .. if it's medically necessary then that's fine but I'd like to try vaginally first and she was supportive of that. I gotta see if she'll also be supportive of the rest of my birth plan ..

Wow. I'm not even sure what to say about that!

pblge · January 2015

Btw, there's a great thread on the "Natural Birth" forum here about having a med-free birth with no formal classes. Some of the posters here might be interested.

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12510955/un-studied-natural-birth

southernyankeegirl · January 2015

sunshinedaisies000 said:
I've been following this thread closely but have yet to comment. I'm amazed at all of the information here. I'm going into it as I know what I "want" to happen, but I want to be flexible enough in my mind to realize that it may not happen like that.

I'm okay with the idea of an epidural - but I want to put it off as long as possible. But I don't want to rely on getting one because it may not work or they may say it's not possible, so I'm going to look into some of the things you guys have suggested for a med-free birth to prepare for that too.

I'm amazed at the rate of c-sections! I guess I have a lot of questions to ask at my next appointment!

I wouldn't worry too much about the rate of C-sections. A good percentage of those are repeat cesareans, some are breach or transverse babies that you know ahead of time and are scheduled C-section, and others are emergent situations that pop up that you can't prepare for anyway.

The way my doctor phrased it is that they may have a 32% rate for deliveries that are C-sections, but by the time a patient walks into the hospital in active labor, your chances of having a C-section are actually less than half of that if your baby is head down. Inductions do have a slightly higher rate of C-sections, which is why I will gladly wait for labor to start on its own.

TJ1979 · January 2015

Lurker popping in from SAIF. I had an "unstudied" med free birth. Intentionally. Twice. It was honestly the greatest experience of my life. And like @mrs.amydylan it was empowering and helped me say FU to IF and all the treatments it took to get where I was.
For both babies, I labored at home, in bed, overnight then went to the hospital in the morning. My first was born 3 hours later, my 2nd just one hour later.
I was so much more comfortable laboring at home. We were 20 minutes from the hospital so I wasn't too worried. I did end up getting an IV of sugar water with mh first because I was actively pushing for 2 hours. They finally realized LO was on her side and stuck. Instead of pushing for a c/s, they had me lie on my side and push, which did the trick.
If you want to do it, trust me, you can do it!

turquoisequeen · January 2015

From what I've seen on different hospital stats, the c section rate actually does not include planned c sections or other high risk situations. It is the percentage that are planned for a vaginal delivery and end up with a c section instead. That is why the high number is so shocking to me.

southernyankeegirl · January 2015

turquoisequeen said:

From what I've seen on different hospital stats, the c section rate actually does not include planned c sections or other high risk situations. It is the percentage that are planned for a vaginal delivery and end up with a c section instead. That is why the high number is so shocking to me.

Oh, that's not the case with my hospital and doctors. I guess that's an important distinction to make when analyzing how c-section happy a hospital or doctor may be!

pblge · January 2015

southernyankeegirl said:

turquoisequeen said:

From what I've seen on different hospital stats, the c section rate actually does not include planned c sections or other high risk situations. It is the percentage that are planned for a vaginal delivery and end up with a c section instead. That is why the high number is so shocking to me.

Oh, that's not the case with my hospital and doctors. I guess that's an important distinction to make when analyzing how c-section happy a hospital or doctor may be!

It seems that everything I've looked at has it reported differently. When Consumer Reports assessed hospitals they looked at "low-risk delivery" Cesarean rates (article only available to subscribers, or I'd post it). So a hospital with a good rating on this factor might have an 8% C-section rate, but a bad rating might be a 32% rating. That seems a very useful way to present the information.

kmc84 · January 2015

This is from a pamphlet from the hospital we used/will use. I thought some might be interested in seeing how they break down their stats.

kmc84 · January 2015

pblge said:
@kmc84 - OMG, I can't believe you had to go incognito to avoid your MIL. Crazy!! I've always heard that if you go into labor with the idea of "I'll get an epidural if I need it," it's pretty much a guarantee that you will. What do you think?

Sorry I missed this for so long!

Yeah, my IL's can be a little intense. I had witnessed them in action when my SILs were in labor and I was having none of it!

I'm not sure....most of the ladies I know have gone in knowing they want epidurals and get them ASAP. Two of my SILs labored without meds and wound up with emergency sections (not suggesting a correlation!) and another girl I know wanted an epi but couldn't get one for a variety of reasons.

I think (aside from pain) the biggest factor for me getting my epi was that I was exhausted. My water broke around 9am and labor kicked in around 1pm. I had only slept about 3 hours that night because my heartburn was so vicious. Had I gotten a full night of beauty sleep the night before, I do think I would have lasted longer. I found it very interesting that I dilated so fast after the epi and a nap. The l&d nurses all assured me that baby number 2 would come much faster and easier. Fingers crossed!

turquoisequeen · January 2015

@pblge‌ yes that consumer reports report is the one I've been looking at. If anyone wants me to look up the c section rates for their hospital I can, just let me know.

CandaceC1020 · January 2015

sunshinedaisies000 said:

I've been following this thread closely but have yet to comment. I'm amazed at all of the information here. I'm going into it as I know what I "want" to happen, but I want to be flexible enough in my mind to realize that it may not happen like that.

This, this, this.

This is my first real post since I've given birth to Alaina on 12.23.14. I had prepared myself for a med-free birth and had every intention of having one. Well, it didn't work out that way. I had my membranes swept on 12.22.14 at 41w2d to see if we could get things jump started a bit. Within three hours of leaving the doctors office, I began having contractions (around noon on 12.22.14). I took care of the last minute things that I felt like I needed to do for the baby - like hanging bookshelves in her room and washing her last little bit of clothes. Had absolutely no problems with contractions and felt extremely strong and knew that I would be able to get though birth.

Around 7 pm things started to change and I started to experience back labor. I have NEVER EVER felt pain like this before. No matter what I did, I couldn't get comfortable. Warm bath, no. Standing, no. Rocking my hips, no. Stripped all clothes off, on all fours and waving my butt around in the air, no. This pain was so intense, so fierce. I feel like I have a very high tolerance for pain, but back labor was a whole different world.

Hubby and I ended up going to the hospital at 11:30 after laboring at home for 12 hours. I rode to the hospital on all fours, with a trashcan in my face and in complete silence in the back seat of my husbands truck. Longest ride to the hospital ever (and we're only 15 minutes away). I got to the hospital, had lab work done and asked to get in the whirlpool tub to see if that helped with the pain. Nope, jets made the pain worse. Heat didn't help, nothing that I did allowed me to get into a position where I could concentrate. We were in the tub for an hour and 45 minutes and I eventually told my husband I needed to get an epidural. He asked if I was sure, I said yes. He asked for my code word (we had a code word so hubby would know that I'm serious about wanting/needing an epidural). I told him and he told the nurse.

My epidural did slow down my labor and killed my contractions. My midwife asked me about pitocin and I told her to go for it, but we did it in a very controlled way. We didn't pump my body full of pitocin and go balls to the wall, we started off slow and gradually increased the pitocin throughout the day.

I ended up laboring for almost 32 hours. I pushed for 45 minutes. My baby was born not breathing due to meconium in her lungs and needed suction, chest compressions and to be bagged to get her breathing. The only thing that went according to plan is that I had a vaginal birth and I have a healthy baby at home. Everything else went out the window and I'm 100% ok with it.

Just be open-minded. Things can change unexpectedly. Don't beat yourself up if things don't go according to plan. The most important thing is that you bring home that little miracle that you've been so desperately wanting. I sit here and look at Alaina, completely in love and so very happy with how things turned out for us.

pblge · January 2015

@CandaceC1020 - I've been meaning to come back to this this post after it became clear that this was your only birth story post. Congratulations!!! I'm sorry your labor was so difficult, but it sounds like it had an extremely happy ending. Thanks for sharing your story and the importance of flexibility!!

TLooney17 · January 2015

I gave birth to my son in s birth center inside of a hospital with a level 3 nicu, so it was the best of both worlds. I did end up successfully going med free. My ob was not really an advocate of the birthing center environment, and he did not allow me to give birth in the tub. At my pp check up though, he actually complimented me on how I handled myself during labor and seemed a lot more open to the whole idea of the birth center.

I plan to use to same birth center for this baby. I don't consider myself high risk ( and have not been told that by a Dr) even though we did ivf. I had an uncomplicated delivery with DS, so why wouldn't I be able to do the same again. I have considered switching to a Dr who is more on board with water births/ med free deliveries but have not decided that yet.

Ecarabeo217 · January 2015

I've debated posting since I sit on both sides of the fence here. I will try to avoid the soap box... I'm an OB. I've delivered babies every which way from Sunday. I *HATE * the term "natural" birth since to me it seems like it makes women who decide for epidurals or end up with a c/s "unnatural". I much prefer medicated vs unmedicated birth. After all, isn't that what the debate is all about? I, myself, took a hypnobirthing class. While I didn't buy into all of it, I believe the philosophies behind all "natural" birthing classes is the same...to take the fear out of the birth process. There is no question in my mind that fear is a huge factor in labor pain and labor progress. This is why so many women experience being "stuck" until they get their epidurals and then flying through the remainder of their labors after being medicated. It's the end of the pain/fear cycle that finally lets their bodies do what they need to do. Epidurals don't slow labor down...it's all the IV fluids that need to be given before the epidural that could slow labor a bit. And, of course, some women (and some babies) really do need delivery by c/s.
Sadly, there are docs that proceed to c/s with a very low threshold and some that do it out of convenience. The high section rate in the U.S. has been driven (in large part) by lawsuits and threats of law suits, but I really won't go there or this post might go on forever. I think having these conversations early with your doc can help patients pick the right provider so that if they end up with a c/s, at least they can feel comfortable that it was indicated.
The best analogy I have heard about birth plans is that having one is a lot like trying to plan the weather in Vegas for next year's wedding anniversary...can't be done! Out of your hands...I think the best way to look at it is that you can plan for your birth, but you can't plan how your birth will go. It's unpredictable. I think coming in with a very detailed or specific birth plan definitely sets patients up for disappointment, because nobody knows how baby will tolerate labor or how mom will tolerate labor. I think the best birth plan is to have a happy, safe and healthy delivery.
Sorry for the rambling....

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