Community› The Bump Message Boards› 3rd Trimester
3rd Trimester
New Discussion

Third Hand Smoke and In Laws

Mrs.RockyMMrs.RockyM member
in 3rd Trimester

My mom called me up earlier today to let me know about a segment they had on the Today show yesterday.  Apparently it was all about Third Hand Smoke, and all the problems with the toxins that are left in someone's clothes, hair, furniture, etc. after smoking.

Well problem is, ILs smoke.  "Apparently" they no longer smoke in the house, (although the 15 million air freshners in our room lead me to belive otherwise - but at least they try and air it out when we come to visit) but after 20+ years of smoking on and off in the house EVERYTHING smells.  Even if you don't notice it while you're there, EVERYTHING reeks when we come home. 

Well the problem is, it's a very touchy subject with DH.  He hates that his parent's smoke, but he doesn't want to insult them (nor does he like when I mention things to him becuase he feels as though I'm insulting/looking down at them).  He's ok with the whole washing of the hands thing before holding the baby, but he thinks that it's "stupid" to ask them to change clothes after smoking, or that I'm so worried about bringing the baby into their house. 

Anyone else have this problem?  Just wondering how you handle it?

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: Third Hand Smoke and In Laws

  • SummersJuly15SummersJuly15
    Oh my goodness - I could have written this post word for word.....I have no idea how I am going to handle it - but I did tell him the other day if anyone comes to the hospital and smells like it - they won't hold her.....or get near her......I'm sure the same will apply once we are home......I'm sure that once that little baby is here - you won't care who you piss off.....I have already started getting protective over her.....it doesn't help either that I can't really stand my MIL to begin with......so.....I just have all types of reasons to dislike her.....
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • megs042107megs042107

    you can't control what they do in their own house. ?but i would share some of the third hand smoke info with your H so that he is informed.?

    Report Reply
  • Pumpkin111Pumpkin111 member

    Girl, I have no idea.. I am not planning on ever taking baby to MIL's house because she currently smokes in there..

    And the thought of my brand new baby's perfect lungs being exposed to that right off the bat via her clothing makes me want to punch things and rip people's faces off....

    I have no clue what to do.. I considered buying / making her a cute, I'm the Grandma sweatshirt to put on before she holds the baby.. It still sounds so insulting though.. and I just hate it!

    Report Reply
  • JOEBunnyJOEBunny member
    Try to keep it in perspective, the studies are all of people who LIVE with smokers full time, you are talking about a few days here and there.  Also, even people who do these studies do not think there is huge danger in limited exposure, such as what you are talking about.  If your IL are your daycare providers, that is one thing, but if it is just a visit once or twice a year, I would let it lie.   My MIL smoked, she died when DD was 18 months old.  I would love to have your "problem". 
    Report Reply
  • californiaclairecaliforniaclaire

    Can you print up some articles or medical information to have DH read that summarizes some of your concerns? Hopefully you can bring him around to your side & have his help bringing up the issue with his parents.

    It's not like people who smoke don't know it's horribly unhealthy. They have to understand that you have the interests of your child at heart & aren't trying to personally offend them. 

    Report Reply
  • Cassandra1028Cassandra1028

    My Mom and her live-in boyfriend both smoke like chimneys. I have already told my Mom that if she even smells like smoke in the hospital - I'm going to be kicking her out of the room and she will not be holding DC.

    I don't really care who I insult - it's your choice to smoke and it's my choice/duty to protect my child and myself. 

    Needless to say - we also will not be going to her house for visits since when me and DH go over there for even an hour - our clothes wreak like we just got out of a bar. Ick!

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Temp159135562506975Temp159135562506975 member

    this is a huge issue with my MIL.  She smokes in the house - all day long. It is disgusting.

    I will not go there while pg - and we never once brought my son there until just this x-mas.... he's almost 2 y/o.

    both DH and I agree with this.  it's her choice to smoke- her habit- not our fault we don't want to harm our babies..... if she is insulted that is her own problem, period.

    The fact is- if they change their clothing- it will only be putting on more clothes that reek of smoke and have toxins on them- since they obviously smoke in the house still - so it doesn't make a difference.

    My concern is if the twins are premature - i will NOT let my MIl come visit/hold them in the hospital in her clothing - she'll have to put on a fresh robe from the hosptial - not a new shirt of hers.

    I simply would not take your child to you IL's house - esp when they are so young and everything goes into their mouths - they are finding that 3rd hand smoke may be to blame for many neurlogical disorders, etc.  No way would I subject my kids to that b/c I'm worried about hurting a smoker's feelings. 

    Report Reply
  • SummersJuly15SummersJuly15
    imageGoldie_Locks_5:

    this is a huge issue with my MIL.  She smokes in the house - all day long. It is disgusting.

    I will not go there while pg - and we never once brought my son there until just this x-mas.... he's almost 2 y/o.

    both DH and I agree with this.  it's her choice to smoke- her habit- not our fault we don't want to harm our babies..... if she is insulted that is her own problem, period.

    The fact is- if they change their clothing- it will only be putting on more clothes that reek of smoke and have toxins on them- since they obviously smoke in the house still - so it doesn't make a difference.

    My concern is if the twins are premature - i will NOT let my MIl come visit/hold them in the hospital in her clothing - she'll have to put on a fresh robe from the hosptial - not a new shirt of hers.

    I simply would not take your child to you IL's house - esp when they are so young and everything goes into their mouths - they are finding that 3rd hand smoke may be to blame for many neurlogical disorders, etc.  No way would I subject my kids to that b/c I'm worried about hurting a smoker's feelings. 

    Wow - this is such a good post.....you just made me feel 1000 times better about telling people the way it will be when she gets here......thank you!!

    Report Reply
  • britti<3britti<3
    FIL smokes and I could care less if I insult him, he knows exactly how I feel about his smoking around DD and me while pregnant. He could care less about that. DD does not ride in his car because he smokes in it with the windows up. When DD was born we had him put a blanket over him before he held her and he WILL be doing the same with this baby if he wants to come in a 100yard radius of her. He was also not allowed to hold her if he just smoked no matter what.
    Report Reply
  • cobaltbluecobaltblue
    Toxins are in the air everywhere when you live in or near a big city. ?Unless you're going to move to a remote rural area, you're not going to be able to avoid them. ?Stale smoke smells are gross, but your baby will only spend a limited time around the grandparents. ?I am careful about picking my battles, and for me, this is one I would let slide.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"