For those of you I haven't connected with, here is a bit of background on my story: Last year at my 39 week appointment, we found out that our first child, Wesley, no longer had a heartbeat. I was induced the next morning and have 26 hours of labor, he was born on Christmas morning. He weighed 7 pounds, 3 ounces and had the most beautiful black curly hair. And super long fingers and toes, just like his daddy. We later learned that we suffered a spontaneous maternal fetal hemmorage.
As you all can relate to, this year has been a roller coaster of emotions- I have (and still feel) sad, angry, jealous, guilty, confused and so many other things that are hard to put into words.
Today, on Wesley's first angelversary, I just want to thank each of you so much for your support, kind words and thoughtfulness. I'm not sure how I could have gotten through this first year without this community- especially in those early days and months when I thought I was losing my mind. When I felt so alone because all of my friends had healthy babies and mine died. Having this group to connect with- people who can truly understand what I'm going through has been invaluable.
So today, my husband and I are getting ready to volunteer at the Salvation Army for the morning and then we'll come home and cool dinner for a few friends and family who are coming over. We have a birthday cake and we'll do our best to celebrate our little guy and start building traditions that will help us honor his memory every year. And we'll be thinking about all of your angel babies as well.
Again, thank you all so much and I hope that you have gentle and peaceful holidays with your families.