Is it okay to have a breakdown?

bettyfaith · December 2014

Today marks the day that we would have found out if we were having a boy or a girl... And to top it off I got on Facebook and 10 posts in a row were about people announcing their pregnancies.... I'm happy for them, but I just can't express my happiness towards them. I feel like I'm letting myself forget our baby by getting excited for others.

I just can't stop bawling and I feel like it's not acceptable to be like this after almost three months or that I'll be judged..

BookishMomma · December 2014

This is said a lot around here, but grief is not linear. You don't get better and better and then it goes away. Sometimes it hits you hard, other days you feel OK. Don't beat yourself up. We all go through it. ((Hugs))

jordangoodnight · December 2014

I'm sorry your having a tough time right now. It sounds like your getting hit from all sides.

((hugs))

bettyfaith · December 2014

Thank you @agpjt413‌ @BookishMomma‌ I really needed to hear that it is okay.

NOBB14 · December 2014

Hugs. Remember you are absolutely not obligated to give your friends well wishes if you're not in a place where they would be genuine. So sorry.... Facebook can be a bitch and I know you didn't need what you saw today of all days.

bettyfaith · December 2014

jordangoodnight said:
I'm sorry your having a tough time right now. It sounds like your getting hit from all sides. ((hugs))

Yes it's been rough the last couple of days. I finally decided that I shouldn't go on FB because that's all that was on the newsfeed

eliida · December 2014

It's totally okay to breakdown. Grief is a sneaky bitch who is neither linear nor logical. Mourning does not have an appropriate timeline. ((((Hugs))))

meredithcarole · December 2014

It's completely okay. We all have our bad days. Like @bookishmomma said, grief is not linear (that's one of my favorite sayings because it is so very true). (((hugs))) to you.

Nikolie93 · December 2014

It's totally ok to breakdown and don't beat yourself up when you do. It happens to us all. I hope your upcoming days get better *hug*

Oh, and as someone else said, you don't have to be all gaga over others announcements. There are times in life you have to think about YOU and this is one of them.

kreardon11 · December 2014

((hugs)) Something that my DH and I have struggled with, and we still do, is that it is okay to feel however you do at any given moment. For me, my emotions change quite frequently and I think I'm finally okay with that. It's been 8 months since my first MC and it still hurts - don't beat yourself up about the time. Someone once wrote something to the effect of...if your parent passed away would you try to forget and move or, or feel bad about it? When I think about that, my answer is no, no I wouldn't. Food for thought. ((more hugs))

EIsieMae · December 2014

((Hugs)). My most recent loss was about 3 months ago, and I still have bad days too. It's hard. Please don't put pressure on yourself to be okay, when your just not there yet. If you need to cry, then cry. More ((hugs)).

LittleDucky · December 2014

I'm so sorry. Some days it just feels like the universe is sending a message that you shouldn't have even bothered to have gotten out of bed that day. Sounds like today is one of those days for you, unfortunately.

Can you go do something kind for yourself? Get your nails done or a massage or something? (((hugs)))

catvaughn5002 · December 2014

((Hugs)) You have every right to grieve in your own way. My loss was in October and I still have days that I can't handle anything baby or pregnancy related without being sad. It's an emotional roller coaster. Hopefully tomorrow is better for you.

mrspipp · December 2014

So many (((hugs))). This season is hard in general, and social networks can often make it worse. I've stepped away from FB for the past few weeks, because it can get to be too much - no matter how long since your loss. Be kind to yourself.

Leahks77 · December 2014

((Hugs)) and so much understanding and support. It's totally okay to have a breakdown. Be gentle to yourself and give you as much time as you need.

cooldown726 · December 2014

I have seen 2 baby related FB announcements today as well... There is a part of me that is truly happy for my friends. BUT I am also still sad over our loss, and it just stings. In the end you feel what you feel, and take care of yourself best you can.

mflowers929 · December 2014

*hugs* if it makes you feel any better, I went for a long walk yesterday so I could cry in peace.

alm288 · December 2014

It's been over a year since my loss and some days, something triggers it and I end up crying and want to crawl into bed. It's definitely okay and normal. (((hugs))) - hope you feel better.

ashlee113085 · December 2014

It's totally okay and normal to have a breakdown. Be gentle to yourself. Facebook is always difficult for me. I have really tried to stay away from it since my loss. (((Hugs)))

Crunkal · December 2014

To echo what PPs have said, there is not appropriate time line for grief. I have my good days, my bad days, and some really bad days. Don't beat yourself up over being sad. It takes time, and I personally don't think the it will ever completely go away, nor do I want it to. I don't ever want to forget or pretend it didn't happen.
Take it easy. Allow yourself to grieve just don't let it consume you.

Sending lots of big squishy ((hugs))

stephy1221 · December 2014

Hugs. Rough days happen, there is no timeline on this stuff. Go easy on yourself hun.

Puglife83 · December 2014

*hugs*

I had my loss over 5 months ago and some days I still think about it and don't even want to get out of bed. Before I had my ectopic I was in the best shape of my life, woke up everyday dressed to impress for work, was happy and motivated. Now, I am about 20 lbs heavier, miserable most days, get up 10 min before I need to leave and put on the easiest thing that is laying on my dresser. I know that I cant continue to act like this, however I don't feel guilty or embarrassed or judged. Ill be ready to start the healing process when I am ready, not when other people tell me I should.

I also hid a lot of people on FB including family members because I just couldn't handle their pregnancy updates, or their complaining about being a new mom.

MSU_Girl1202 · December 2014

It's totally okay to have a breakdown sweetie (ex: see my post last night when I was a basketcase).
There's nothing easy about this road. I'm so sorry you're having a rough day. Sending ((hugs))

Cheetara2 · December 2014

Big ((hugs))

rnchloe · December 2014

The holidays were tough for me too. I had been doing a lot better lately but Christmas came along with all the pregnancy announcements and it hit me hard. We would have found out the sex just before Christmas. Hugs to you!

cherish1986 · December 2014

This happened to me yesterday... I had just looked at facebook yesterday for the first time in a while and I saw an announcement and it made me freak out. My birthday is Sunday and Friday we would have found out what we were having. It's been a poopy poopy week.
I feel your pain.

tennss · January 2015

I completely feel your pain. We had our loss in August and it seems like every day someone new is announcing their pregnancy. We have been TTC for three cycles unsuccessfully now and had my most recent breakdown over Chriatmas. It's totally unfair, but it's ok to be sad. We will get our rainbows. Bring it on 2015!

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