Mean Girls

Kbabe4589 · December 2014

I am finding myself using this app less and less due to all of the mean and snarky comments on these forums. Isn't this supposed to be a safe place for all moms to be? I am so tired of reading these bully like comments, dumbing down other women. Isn't pregnancy hard enough as it is..?? We should build each other up, not break each other down.

cflum · December 2014

Right. I will never ask another question on here because of the mothers who harass other women on here. It is disgusting and it honestly makes me sad this can't be a supportive, welcoming community.

anz113 · December 2014

Almost as tired as everyone else is of reading the 'you're all so mean' posts.
I think this is just supposed to be one of the many pregnancy related internet communities. If this one doesn't suit you there are plenty of others you can join.

amooraxo · December 2014

I love the movie Mean Girls... does anyone know when it's coming on Netflix?!

mrscampos4life · December 2014

Kbabe4589 said:
I am finding myself using this app less and less due to all of the mean and snarky comments on these forums. Isn't this supposed to be a safe place for all moms to be? I am so tired of reading these bully like comments, dumbing down other women. Isn't pregnancy hard enough as it is..?? We should build each other up, not break each other down.

Qfp... In case this disappears in the morning...

Kiki119 · December 2014

This should get interesting in the morning

leenziepops · December 2014

amooraxo said:
I love the movie Mean Girls... does anyone know when it's coming on Netflix?!

One of my favorite movies!

leenziepops · December 2014

Kbabe4589 said:
I am finding myself using this app less and less due to all of the mean and snarky comments on these forums. Isn't this supposed to be a safe place for all moms to be? I am so tired of reading these bully like comments, dumbing down other women. Isn't pregnancy hard enough as it is..?? We should build each other up, not break each other down.

None of the regular June Bumpies bully. Snarky? Sure! We say it how it is. If someone walks in without reading the Newbie thread nor do they bother to look through the first few pages of threads and then said Newbie posts repetitive questions or questions that could easily be answered with a Google or by reading a basic PG book well then yes, we get snarky. This is a community of smart funny women who say it like it is. And offer great support for those going through loss or legitimate scares. If you don't like it then leave.

leenziepops · December 2014

cflum said:
Right. I will never ask another question on here because of the mothers who harass other women on here. It is disgusting and it honestly makes me sad this can't be a supportive, welcoming community.

You can also leave.

maddibayer · December 2014

amooraxo said:
I love the movie Mean Girls... does anyone know when it's coming on Netflix?!

I know I watched this on netflix like six months ago! I kinda hope it's still there. I totally wanna watch it now!

sammyca · December 2014

As others have said on this "meanie" post and maaaaaaany others, The Bump is not the only pregnancy forum on the internet. If it's not for you, find another one. Easy. The beauty of the internet is that they are all different.
I personally found this community to be a welcome and refreshing change after losing my mind reading the daily ridiculousness and inanity that is Babycenter. I don't want to read the same questions over and over. I don't want to see your baby's genitals on an ultrasound and play guess the gender all day long. I could go on but I won't.
I don't see bullying. I just see some great supportive pregnant ladies who get tired of questions that don't need to be here and who call it like it is. I'm crazy for a GIF party too.

Kbabe4589 · December 2014

I understand getting frustrated with seeing the same questions over and over. Or the "Guess my baby's gender" ... BUT I do not understand being mean, I find it unnecessary and a sign of immaturity.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

suzysurparis · December 2014

@kbabe4589 and @cflum no one is forcing you to stay and no one is bullying. Look up the definition of bullying, it's a real and extreme problem that can lead to suicide, if any member of the bump has said anything that makes you want to take your own life please let a mod know. The bump community Is designed to sell advertising for the company that owns the website, any useful information you get here is from other users who have taken the time to weed through the shit on the Internet, fact check, and consolidate. We don't put up with bullshit, fallacies, anecdotes, old wives' tales, and inaccurate predictors because that would be a disservice to all those who took the time to make this place as factual as possible.

Go check out babycenter or babygaga if you want glitter blown up your ass, they do that over there. We don't.

Trampslikeus · December 2014

@Kbabe4589‌ and @cflum‌
So you're going to "delete the app" now, right? Because it would be awfully silly to keep returning to a completely optional web forum if you actually thought you were getting bullied, right?

Someone cue up the Hunger Games send off for our two departing tributes?

catmagick · December 2014

This again?

Wowz. You are totes the only person to ever say this to us. I now seez the error of my wayz and shall change.

Said no bumpie ever.

babybean9 · December 2014

Nobody caressss.

Bednarova · December 2014

nchauhan said:
I
Why don't you glance through some of these women's post history and see how supportive, caring and hilarious they are. Then go ahead and glance through your own history to see how supportive you've been towards anyone here.

Seriously. there have been ladies here who have had to deal with awful stuff on here in the last few weeks- from bad test results, to marriage/relationship issues to even losses. The women on here are so supportive. I get so pissed off every time I see another meanie pants thread, bc the OPs seem to have selective memory.

mamahawk12 · December 2014

I. cannot. believe. there is another post on this. This is getting worse than the "tell me the sex of my baby!!" posts.

askingforluck · December 2014

I feel the same way. Too afraid to post any sort of question for fear someone will say something rude because I missed a thread created 10 years ago discussing the same topic.

I'm 26, a first time mom and absolutely terrified. I was hoping this was a place for support (which I do see on occasion) but what I have seen over the past few weeks has literally stunned me.

Yes, I can leave, sure! That is my choice. But why should I be made to feel that way? Yes, I have seen quite a few repeat threads on meanies or bullies. Have you ever thought that maybe the reason for so many of those threads is because people are feeling bullied? That this is an actual problem?

I'm not looking for rainbows and butterflies - life isn't about that. I just thought this was a place to share your experiences, give advise and be a positive support and influence. I'm sure the Bump.com would agree... At least that's what I was lead to believe.

CMSullivan326 · December 2014

As many times as I've rolled my eyes at these type of threads I'm surprised my eyes aren't stuck in opposite directions.

littlegrapey · December 2014

askingforluck said:

I feel the same way. Too afraid to post any sort of question for fear someone will say something rude because I missed a thread created 10 years ago discussing the same topic. I'm 26, a first time mom and absolutely terrified. I was hoping this was a place for support (which I do see on occasion) but what I have seen over the past few weeks has literally stunned me. Yes, I can leave, sure! That is my choice. But why should I be made to feel that way? Yes, I have seen quite a few repeat threads on meanies or bullies. Have you ever thought that maybe the reason for so many of those threads is because people are feeling bullied? That this is an actual problem? I'm not looking for rainbows and butterflies - life isn't about that. I just thought this was a place to share your experiences, give advise and be a positive support and influence. I'm sure the Bump.com would agree... At least that's what I was lead to believe.

I'm a 26 yr old FTM as well. Don't use that as an excuse to not do basic research. It isn't that hard to use the search function, read the first few pages, or a book.

Trampslikeus · December 2014

askingforluck said:
I feel the same way. Too afraid to post any sort of question for fear someone will say something rude because I missed a thread created 10 years ago discussing the same topic.

I'm 26, a first time mom and absolutely terrified. I was hoping this was a place for support (which I do see on occasion) but what I have seen over the past few weeks has literally stunned me.

Yes, I can leave, sure! That is my choice. But why should I be made to feel that way? Yes, I have seen quite a few repeat threads on meanies or bullies. Have you ever thought that maybe the reason for so many of those threads is because people are feeling bullied? That this is an actual problem?

I'm not looking for rainbows and butterflies - life isn't about that. I just thought this was a place to share your experiences, give advise and be a positive support and influence. I'm sure the Bump.com would agree... At least that's what I was lead to believe.

Lolbye.

mamahawk12 · December 2014

askingforluck said:

I feel the same way. Too afraid to post any sort of question for fear someone will say something rude because I missed a thread created 10 years ago discussing the same topic. I'm 26, a first time mom and absolutely terrified. I was hoping this was a place for support (which I do see on occasion) but what I have seen over the past few weeks has literally stunned me. Yes, I can leave, sure! That is my choice. But why should I be made to feel that way? Yes, I have seen quite a few repeat threads on meanies or bullies. Have you ever thought that maybe the reason for so many of those threads is because people are feeling bullied? That this is an actual problem? I'm not looking for rainbows and butterflies - life isn't about that. I just thought this was a place to share your experiences, give advise and be a positive support and influence. I'm sure the Bump.com would agree... At least that's what I was lead to believe.

Pray tell... what is your question you are so certain you'll be flamed for? If you've actually read any of the questions that have been answered with snark you'll notice quite an obvious pattern. It has either A - been asked no fewer than 10 times in the last 2 days (in which case, merely glancing over the first page or two of topics is all we ask, don't be lazy - you are not more important than anyone else on this board) or B, it is a question we cannot answer (we are not your doctor, nor do we possess magical uterus viewing abilities.)

So now... what is it?? What is your pressing concern that we will certainly bully you for asking?

KimberlyandThor2014 · December 2014

askingforluck said:
I feel the same way. Too afraid to post any sort of question for fear someone will say something rude because I missed a thread created 10 years ago discussing the same topic.

I'm 26, a first time mom and absolutely terrified. I was hoping this was a place for support (which I do see on occasion) but what I have seen over the past few weeks has literally stunned me.

Yes, I can leave, sure! That is my choice. But why should I be made to feel that way? Yes, I have seen quite a few repeat threads on meanies or bullies. Have you ever thought that maybe the reason for so many of those threads is because people are feeling bullied? That this is an actual problem?

I'm not looking for rainbows and butterflies - life isn't about that. I just thought this was a place to share your experiences, give advise and be a positive support and influence. I'm sure the Bump.com would agree... At least that's what I was lead to believe.

First of all, nobody would give you a hard time posting a subject that was brought up ten years ago. Or even 10 months ago. That is such a ridiculous exaggeration. The posts that get flamed are usually ones that get posted almost EVERY day and can generally be found on pages 1 and 2.

Don't have time to browse 5 pages of posts? No one expects you to!!! There is a handy search button that can be easily located and utilized before you post your own thread and find out that just two posts down, someone asked the very same question.

I also don't see where people are overly mean. Snarky at times, yes, especially after the MILLIONTH time a question is asked in the same day. But I guess some people think truth and or bluntness is mean, and they just don't want to hear the truth.

We all read the newbie blog (which takes a whopping 5 minutes) and we all contribute to many of the posts here in loving, supportive, kind ways. We grow teeth when we are repeatedly barraged with b.s., or especially when we feel we are being trolled and egged on purposefully.

Have a lovely new year ladies, turn over a new leaf and grow some skin, put in some real effort around here and you will see the love. I see tons of love and support around here each and every day!

mamalmd · December 2014

I'm a FTM and new to this community as of a few days ago - in fact this is my first comment. I find that you get what you ask for here. You wanna post an ultrasound and get someone to guess the gender? You wanna ask about old wives tales? Sure, that can be fun and welcomed on other sites (example: baby center!) ...but not on this one. You just have to lurk for a little while and get a feel of the community and what posts work and what don't - and that can be said for any birth club type community. For every "mean" post, there are at least ten supportive ones. And even the mean ones are hilarious, imo .

Trampslikeus · December 2014

We're in for a rough go of things, as a culture, if telling someone to read a book or do 10 seconds of research to answer a question independently is considered mean. I mean, fuck, that's the kind of response I started getting to from teachers in 3rd grade when I asked easily answerable questions or questions she'd already answered.

thay33 · December 2014

You guys I can't anymore

cnoelle92 · December 2014

I thought we "meanies" were done with these people! How do they keep coming baccckk?

If you dont like how things are done here, go. Stop getting so butthurt about people telling you how it is. We don't hold hands and sit around a camp fire singing songs. Sorry, so find some place else, example babycenter!

Buh-bye

littlechemist · December 2014

All I hear is "wah wah wah".

erbear84 · December 2014

littlechemist said:

All I hear is "wah wah wah".

Yep, only it sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher voice.

elbowpasta · December 2014

Trampslikeus said:
We're in for a rough go of things, as a culture, if telling someone to read a book or do 10 seconds of research to answer a question independently is considered mean. I mean, fuck, that's the kind of response I started getting to from teachers in 3rd grade when I asked easily answerable questions or questions she'd already answered.

The best teacher I ever had, when asked "How do you spell x?" Said "D-I-C-T-I-O-N-A-R-Y."

I thought it was hilarious. Oops.

beckynsean11 · December 2014

As per usual, the ones bitching about how mean we all are & what horrible bullies we all are are noticeably missing from all threads that need actual, real support. Not one comment on threads from women in the ER on Christmas, or terrified of a possible DS dx, or going through very real marital issues, nada.

I'm not going to hold your hand & spoon feed you information, as an adult it is your responsibility to attempt to find out the answers to your questions before you ask others to do it for you. Hell, that was expected of me as a child. When I asked how do I spell "x" or what does "x" mean, I was handed a dictionary or encyclopedia & told to look it up & come back if I needed help finding the answer. Contrary to what you may have been told as a child, there are stupid questions & when you ask one you're going to get told that it's a fucking stupid question. Grow the up, no one has been a bully here.

blastocarrier30 · December 2014

erbear84 said:

littlechemist said:

All I hear is "wah wah wah".

Yep, only it sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher voice.

gilder40 · December 2014

cnoelle92 said:

We don't hold hands and sit around a camp fire singing songs. Sorry, so find some place else, example babycenter!

Buh-bye

Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya;
Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya;
Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya;
Oh, Lord, kumbaya.
Someone's cryin', Lord, kumbaya;
Someone's cryin', Lord, kumbaya;
Someone's cryin', Lord, kumbaya;
Oh, Lord, kumbaya.

ksimo6 · December 2014

Can't we just copy/paste the responses from last week's "you're all mean and my feelings are hurt" post. I'm too tired to respond every week. When will these posts end!?!? I'm sooooooo bored!!!

jbartsy · December 2014

amooraxo said:

I love the movie Mean Girls... does anyone know when it's coming on Netflix?!

I just watched it the other night and was really hoping that this thread would be discussing it. That movie never gets old!

sjw91988 · December 2014

Best line " go too baby center if you want glitter blown up your ass" literally spit out my drink.

randa613 · December 2014

I, too, have refrained from posting for the same reason. Every pregnancy is different, and many times the answers here seem to suggest that there are hard and fast rules to everything we wonder about, rather than discussing or remaining open-minded.
I have joined the Due Date Club at the Just Mommies forum, and I feel like I fit in better there.
I wish all of you healthy and happy pregnancies, but it wouldn't hurt to be somewhat self-reflective and perhaps see that you don't know-it-all, and also if a multitude of people feel like you are acting as mean girls, maybe you are, even if it's just a bit. It's enough for people to notice.
I assume I'll get some snarky "I'm glad you found another place, why don't you just stay there" remarks, but luckily I don't care. I'm twenty-nine and haven't had a pregnancy in ten years. I'm thrilled, and I don't need people to tell me how to think.

cnoelle92 · December 2014

randa613 said:

I, too, have refrained from posting for the same reason. Every pregnancy is different, and many times the answers here seem to suggest that there are hard and fast rules to everything we wonder about, rather than discussing or remaining open-minded. I have joined the Due Date Club at the Just Mommies forum, and I feel like I fit in better there. I wish all of you healthy and happy pregnancies, but it wouldn't hurt to be somewhat self-reflective and perhaps see that you don't know-it-all, and also if a multitude of people feel like you are acting as mean girls, maybe you are, even if it's just a bit. It's enough for people to notice. I assume I'll get some snarky "I'm glad you found another place, why don't you just stay there" remarks, but luckily I don't care. I'm twenty-nine and haven't had a pregnancy in ten years. I'm thrilled, and I don't need people to tell me how to think.

christinabenish82 said:

@‌ randa613 I agree with you and the op. When you start getting posts like f**k off or QFP that in my opinion is completely rude. Ive noticed it comes from the same 10 ladies. If you post something they don't agree with you are a troll cause they know all the answers to every question. Im baffled at those ladies reporting other women when they post offensive language, in the terms/ rules of the site language like that is supposed to be reported. I guess I'm done here also. Happy pregnancy to all.

Stop being so butt hurt.

angielayne926 · December 2014

I think OP should change the title to "Official GBCB Post."

Congrats ladies, I think this is a record.

blu-eyedwife · December 2014

randa613 said:

if a multitude of people feel like you are acting as mean girls, maybe you are, even if it's just a bit. It's enough for people to notice.

If it were valued, participating members of the community saying this I would say you had a point. But it's not. It comes from posters who jump in without participating in anything who have read maybe 2 or 3 posts of the hundreds that are here. It's taking things completely out of context.

Each poster saying "you're mean" is ignoring the hundreds of supportive posts whenever anyone has an issue, the people who rally to the aid of someone needing help, who literally cheer for the successes of someone who has struggled.

It's akin to walking past a group of people having a heated discussion, hearing someone use the word "bitch" and then going on a tirade against all these strangers about how horrible they are. Would you ever do that in real life? Probably not. It's just as socially inappropriate online.

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