Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Guennie
member
Re: OMGOMGOMG
2. Breathe. Or scream, cry, jump for joy, scream, cry some more, and then breathe. Since a BPF can be such an emotional roller coaster in any circumstances!
3. Being just a ftm too I don't know from experience yet but from reading here it seems like many women have very different experiences with each pregnancy /baby so maybe you will be lucky and have fewer difficulties this time around. And then maybe you would go for VBAC but if you do a planned csection then that would be very different than the emergency one (and all that preceded it) last time. But in any case you now have the benefit of experience to help you with everything from questions to ask doc or midwife to newborn care. And time to plan for supports you may want like to see a lactation consultant (or a different one) if you want to have another try at breastfeeding.
4. Breathe. You have been through so much and are strong from it even if it's hiding undrr being tired from it. You can do this! Lotscof virtual hugscand handholding available here (not as useful as someone in real life to help watch your toddler while you sneak in a nap, but still maybe a little helpful!)
5. Did your husband always want to be one and done or only because you felt you needed to be?
6. Insurance declining BC prescription?!?! WTF???!!! I know we usually avoid profanity in this group but seriously I think there needs to be an exception for your insurance company. Haven't they pulled other nonsense too?augh!
My ins denied the rx because it wasn't generic. They didn't want to pay for it. Ya BCBS has not been my favorite. I liked United Healthcare better.
Geeps, now I really think we're twins. My daughter is exactly 13 months today.
I'm trying to come to terms with this and calm down. The stress certainly won't help my body any. And given my history I really won't know anything until I see my dr. It may not even be a viable pregnancy.
Edited to add question: Weren't you on baby aspirin with your last pregnancy? Still have any on hand?
1st BFP-8/17/12! Missed Miscarriage discovered @ 8 week US. D&C.
2nd BFP-2/13/13! Blighted Ovum discovered @ 8 week US. Natural miscarriage.
3rd BFP-5/22/13! By early June, progesterone plummeting. Another loss.
August 2013 - started Donor Egg process, but surprise BFP with my own eggs.
Dear Son born 5/28/14
Yes, I've started taking the baby aspirin again as of this morning, along with the extra folate and B-12 and prenatals. I'm trying really hard to jump to acceptance and start doing everything I need to do to take care of myself. I'm waiting for my dr's office to call me back to schedule an appt as they are still out this week. Thanks so much for being excited for me guys. If this is a viable pregnancy I hope I will get there once the shock wears off and it really sinks in. I just have so many fears. I have to believe this was supposed to happen though since I was about to go back on the pill. Life has some ironic timing.
Mine are almost 16 months apart. They love each other so much.
The big kid can play alone while I BF the LO.
My pregnancies were very different.
With the first boy I was sick in the beginning, in constant discomfort and tired all the time.
The second boy, I had no symptoms til about 6 months when I felt a kick and started to show. I didn't gain any weight until about 7 months. I had energy, was very comfortable and only tired when DS1 was extremely energetic.
I also didn't know I was pregnant right away.
Best of luck, it's tough, but worth it.
Do be prepared to mourn for your first baby's loss of only child status. Like @Geeps2, I did that. A ton. But it's awesome. My DD now talks all the time about "our baby" and how much we love "our baby." Tonight, DH and I were in the kitchen getting dinner ready. DD ran into the kitchen with us and DS started fussing a little. She ran in to the living room with me close on her heels, he took one look at her and immediately grinned. They adore each other. Also, I'm a much better mom to two than I was to one. And DH is light-years better as a dad. We are more relaxed, have a clue what we are doing, and aren't so laser-focused on either child. Looking back, I'm surprised we didn't accidentally physically smother our first one.
CONGRATS!!!! Never know - it could be twins! Stranger things have happened!
On all the anxieties - when it comes to BF - just FF or EP or EP/FF supplement!! If it's a source of stress instead of something that you'd enjoy doing, then the stress is not worth it because it is a ton of work. I EP for both kiddos and my Ma who I thought would be the most "latch it's the ONLY way!" was actually the one encouraging me to FF instead of dealing with all the undue stress I was putting on myself since I had BIGTIME supply issues. I EP what I could, but my nickname just isn't Bessy!! With DS I resolved to say I'd give him what I could but I wasn't going to kill myself in the process and it was so much more enjoyable having lifted that stress off of myself (only to end up with mastitis).
I had to EP and supplement with my daughter, it was very very hard. But I am so glad I did it. I got mastitis twice and I was in constant pain because my body didn't react well to pumping. But I hung in there for 9 months. I will never ever regret it. If this does end up being a viable pregnancy I will do all I can to try to breastfeed and if nursing once again doesn't work I will pump again. I will find a way.
Anyway sending good vibes your way!
My losses have all been first tri, yes. And yes it is also very common to have to have an emergency c section when you are induced. I find it hard to swallow that a dr wouldn't want to take you because of AMA. It's just disgusting and disappointing all the way around. I really hope the dr I'm trying to get in with will decide I'm not so scary after reviewing my records.
I have no idea what's around here, honestly right now I'm just trying to get in with someone so I can be seen and know one way or the other if this is a viable pregnancy, so my emotions can know where to land. This limbo really sucks and it's messing with my head.
Wow. Congrats and many deep breaths.
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Yeah, it's easier with subsequent kids if no other reason that you've done it before. And sometimes it's easier because it's easier too, KWIM? DS1 was the world's worst sleeper, the first few months BFing made me want to tear my hair out and he just an all 'round intense little dude.
DS2 popped out and latched and slept like a champ and was, until recently, the most chilled out baby and toddler ever.
You just never know who's gonna pop out
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