Someone please calm me down. I got a very unexpected Xmas present and I'm freaking out. I suspected something Xmas Eve then still no af yesterday so I took a test and got a bfp. I was trying to go back on bcp but my ins had just denied my rx. This was not at all planned. Part of me was sad that our daughter wouldn't have a sibling but after everything I went through with her pregnancy/delivery/recovery/breastfeeding I just knew I couldn't go through it again. And now bam. How am I going to do this with a toddler??? I am 100% in panic mode and I don't know how I'm going to tell my husband.
Me:41, DH:41 Positive for MTHFR mutations- one copy C677T, one copy A1298C. One daughter born on Thanksgiving in 2013. Six losses.
Re: OMGOMGOMG
2. Breathe. Or scream, cry, jump for joy, scream, cry some more, and then breathe. Since a BPF can be such an emotional roller coaster in any circumstances!
3. Being just a ftm too I don't know from experience yet but from reading here it seems like many women have very different experiences with each pregnancy /baby so maybe you will be lucky and have fewer difficulties this time around. And then maybe you would go for VBAC but if you do a planned csection then that would be very different than the emergency one (and all that preceded it) last time. But in any case you now have the benefit of experience to help you with everything from questions to ask doc or midwife to newborn care. And time to plan for supports you may want like to see a lactation consultant (or a different one) if you want to have another try at breastfeeding.
4. Breathe. You have been through so much and are strong from it even if it's hiding undrr being tired from it. You can do this! Lotscof virtual hugscand handholding available here (not as useful as someone in real life to help watch your toddler while you sneak in a nap, but still maybe a little helpful!)
5. Did your husband always want to be one and done or only because you felt you needed to be?
6. Insurance declining BC prescription?!?! WTF???!!! I know we usually avoid profanity in this group but seriously I think there needs to be an exception for your insurance company. Haven't they pulled other nonsense too?augh!
My ins denied the rx because it wasn't generic. They didn't want to pay for it. Ya BCBS has not been my favorite. I liked United Healthcare better.
Geeps, now I really think we're twins. My daughter is exactly 13 months today.
I'm trying to come to terms with this and calm down. The stress certainly won't help my body any. And given my history I really won't know anything until I see my dr. It may not even be a viable pregnancy.
Edited to add question: Weren't you on baby aspirin with your last pregnancy? Still have any on hand?
1st BFP-8/17/12! Missed Miscarriage discovered @ 8 week US. D&C.
2nd BFP-2/13/13! Blighted Ovum discovered @ 8 week US. Natural miscarriage.
3rd BFP-5/22/13! By early June, progesterone plummeting. Another loss.
August 2013 - started Donor Egg process, but surprise BFP with my own eggs.
Dear Son born 5/28/14
Yes, I've started taking the baby aspirin again as of this morning, along with the extra folate and B-12 and prenatals. I'm trying really hard to jump to acceptance and start doing everything I need to do to take care of myself. I'm waiting for my dr's office to call me back to schedule an appt as they are still out this week. Thanks so much for being excited for me guys. If this is a viable pregnancy I hope I will get there once the shock wears off and it really sinks in. I just have so many fears. I have to believe this was supposed to happen though since I was about to go back on the pill. Life has some ironic timing.
Mine are almost 16 months apart. They love each other so much.
The big kid can play alone while I BF the LO.
My pregnancies were very different.
With the first boy I was sick in the beginning, in constant discomfort and tired all the time.
The second boy, I had no symptoms til about 6 months when I felt a kick and started to show. I didn't gain any weight until about 7 months. I had energy, was very comfortable and only tired when DS1 was extremely energetic.
I also didn't know I was pregnant right away.
Best of luck, it's tough, but worth it.
Do be prepared to mourn for your first baby's loss of only child status. Like @Geeps2, I did that. A ton. But it's awesome. My DD now talks all the time about "our baby" and how much we love "our baby." Tonight, DH and I were in the kitchen getting dinner ready. DD ran into the kitchen with us and DS started fussing a little. She ran in to the living room with me close on her heels, he took one look at her and immediately grinned. They adore each other. Also, I'm a much better mom to two than I was to one. And DH is light-years better as a dad. We are more relaxed, have a clue what we are doing, and aren't so laser-focused on either child. Looking back, I'm surprised we didn't accidentally physically smother our first one.
CONGRATS!!!! Never know - it could be twins! Stranger things have happened!
On all the anxieties - when it comes to BF - just FF or EP or EP/FF supplement!! If it's a source of stress instead of something that you'd enjoy doing, then the stress is not worth it because it is a ton of work. I EP for both kiddos and my Ma who I thought would be the most "latch it's the ONLY way!" was actually the one encouraging me to FF instead of dealing with all the undue stress I was putting on myself since I had BIGTIME supply issues. I EP what I could, but my nickname just isn't Bessy!! With DS I resolved to say I'd give him what I could but I wasn't going to kill myself in the process and it was so much more enjoyable having lifted that stress off of myself (only to end up with mastitis).
I had to EP and supplement with my daughter, it was very very hard. But I am so glad I did it. I got mastitis twice and I was in constant pain because my body didn't react well to pumping. But I hung in there for 9 months. I will never ever regret it. If this does end up being a viable pregnancy I will do all I can to try to breastfeed and if nursing once again doesn't work I will pump again. I will find a way.
Anyway sending good vibes your way!
My losses have all been first tri, yes. And yes it is also very common to have to have an emergency c section when you are induced. I find it hard to swallow that a dr wouldn't want to take you because of AMA. It's just disgusting and disappointing all the way around. I really hope the dr I'm trying to get in with will decide I'm not so scary after reviewing my records.
I have no idea what's around here, honestly right now I'm just trying to get in with someone so I can be seen and know one way or the other if this is a viable pregnancy, so my emotions can know where to land. This limbo really sucks and it's messing with my head.
Wow. Congrats and many deep breaths.
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Yeah, it's easier with subsequent kids if no other reason that you've done it before. And sometimes it's easier because it's easier too, KWIM? DS1 was the world's worst sleeper, the first few months BFing made me want to tear my hair out and he just an all 'round intense little dude.
DS2 popped out and latched and slept like a champ and was, until recently, the most chilled out baby and toddler ever.
You just never know who's gonna pop out
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