Late Term and Child Loss

PgAL check in 12/26

Hi ladies.  I hope you and baby have been well this week!  Please feel free to post any questions you may have for each other.  

How far along are you? 

Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?

Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?

QOTW: ITS OVER.  How was Christmas? 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

*posted this a day early, because I am swamped tomorrow and did not want to forget the check in :)

Re: PgAL check in 12/26

  • How far along are you? 30 wonderful weeks - this was the first goal I wanted to reach in my pregnancy, and we are here :)

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Same old, same old - NSTs twice a week

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Not really craving sugar anymore, but I would like all the bacon, thanks. 

    QOTW: ITS OVER.  How was Christmas? I only cried once, but all day I was thinking of my boys.  Our families remembered them this year and got us ornaments and books for them. That helped a lot, but seeing other kids and babies opening their gifts only broke my heart all day. 

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I should probably get to putting the nursery together now... can't avoid organizing forever, and we are anticipatnig an early baby. 
  • @ikyrstal I'm so excited you're 30 weeks!! Congratulations!! I'd say it's officially time to get moving on that nursery :)
    That was so sweet of your families to get you ornaments and books. It's nice that the boys are remembered and loved. They're such an important part of your family, and always will be.
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  • Mel&John2013Mel&John2013 member
    edited December 2014
    How far along are you? 25 weeks, 5 days

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Ultrasound in a couple of weeks. Baby was a little bit lazy yesterday so if he doesn't pick his movement back up to normal today I'm going to call to go in for a quick check on him. I know it's early to feel consistent movement all the time, but I'm not taking any chances.

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? The sweets obsession is getting a little more reasonable. Phew! 

    QOTW: ITS OVER.  How was Christmas? It was a mixed bag. Visiting my family wasn't bad, and my niece made our new baby (officially named Harrison!) a dream catcher with a charm and colors to represent Lincoln so Lincoln can watch over his little brother. It was incredibly sweet.
    My ILs didn't mention Lincoln at all until I commented that they didn't have an ornament with him on it (they have ornaments with everyone else's pictures)...I guess I'll have to get them one next year. That, and my MIL got me a book called "Baby's First Year". Weird since this is obviously not my first baby. I've already had a baby in their first year up to month 8...I was not thrilled.
    The nice part is that we don't live near any relatives except my sister and BIL, everyone else is 4 hours away. So yesterday all we did was visit the cemetery (major breakdown, lying on the ground crying) and go to sister and BIL's house to order out Chinese food.They hung out with us and kept us distracted with absolutely no pressure to act a certain way.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Happy Harrison has a name. We're starting to put the nursery back together and got wooden letters to spell his name on the wall. It's helping to do little things that are special for Harrison (thanks @dragonfly1809) so it doesn't still feel like only Lincoln's room.

    *edited to be more clear
  • Sorry I've been MIA for a few weeks! We are moved into our new house, but don't have our computer set up, and I'm terrible at posting on my phone. Wanted to check in today though!
    How far along are you?
    30w2d
    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?
    Q's birthday is coming up in just a couple of weeks, that's going to be tough. I'm trying to decide how to celebrate him, I should have planned something by now. No milestones for this pregnancy coming up.
    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?
    Heartburn is getting worse, but still bearable. I'm officially in the big as a house stage. I still love being pregnant though :) placenta previa has cleared!

    QOTW: ITS OVER. How was Christmas?
    Better than I thought. I did a lot of crying over the last week (as always), but made it through.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
    Unpacking and working on the nursery. We have some work we want to get done on the new house, and feel like we are in a time crunch to get it done. I have a strong feeling this baby is coming early, just like her brother.

    Me 32 (Stage IV Endometriosis, short luteal phase) DH 38

    Married 5/2010

    January 2014- DS born healthy at 35.4 weeks

    February 2014- DS passed away due to complications from adenovirus

    February 2015- Rainbow baby DD born at 36.3 weeks

    My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/42fd32 

     


  • schulme2schulme2 member
    edited December 2014
    @ikrystal‌ woo hoo for 30 weeks! So proud you got there! Such thoughtful gifts you got for the boys.

    @Mel&John2013 keep us posted on baby Harrison's ( I LOVE his name!!) movement!

    @erinel‌ congrats on getting into the new house! Sending lots of hugs as you approach Q's birthday!

    How far along are you? 11 weeks, 5 days!

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Next ultrasound and MFM appt. on January 5th.

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?
    Not really, just still super tired and hungry!

    QOTW: ITS OVER. How was Christmas? Not too bad... Didn't have as much talk/remembrance of Mary by our families as I would have hoped. We did do lanterns again this year on Christmas evening so that was nice to do something special just for her.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Happy the pressure of the holidays is off but it did help time move a little faster, which was nice. I hope the time between now and the 5th goes by quickly and we can see our healthy sweet little baby.
  • I called the doctor, and of course in the hour it took for him to call me back Harrison started wiggling up a storm and has been back to normal since :) The doctor was very reassuring though, and said to just keep paying attention.

    @erinel Congratulations on your new home! No need to feel bad for not having anything planned yet for Q's birthday. You'll do what's right for you, even if you're not sure what that is until the last minute.

    @schulme2 Thanks! We love the name too, and I'm so excited to be able to talk about him by name.
    Lanterns on Christmas evening is a beautiful tradition, such a great idea. 
    I hope time passes quickly until the 5th, can't wait to hear good news about a great appointment! :)


  • Mel&John2013 Thank you! Yes, I'm so glad our families remembered.  It helped make the holidays just a little easier. I love the name Harrison!  I think the dream catcher idea was so sweet. I can see how everything else was overwhelming over the holidays - some things are just too sensitive a topic. Glad to hear that Harrison started being more active before you had to worry more! 

    erinel Glad to see you back in the check in!  I hope te move went well.  Our boys' birthdays are in the same month, and I understand your anxiety over what is to come.  It is so overwhelming and the anticipation is so difficult.  Big hugs as you move into the new year and into January. 

    schulme2 Thank you!  And I love how you did the lanterns - I've always wanted to do something like that but haven't found the right spot to do it in.  I'm sorry that our family didnt remember your baby the way you wanted to - it sucks, because she must be all you really think about.  I feel like people acknowledge our losses less and less, and I sincerely hope that people start to support you more. 



  • @ikrystal - congrats on making it to 30 weeks!
    @Mel&John2013 - love the name Harrison:) Sorry your ILs were not supportive. I can not believe your MIL gave you that book - so wrong. Sorry you had the scare with your little one - good thing calling your MD - you're right it is not worth taking any chances.
    @erinel - congratulations on your new home! Hugs - moving is not easy. I'll be thinking of you as Q's birthday approaches.
    @shulme2 - I love that your family lit lanterns for Mary. Appointments can never come soon enough - I feel:)
  • How far along are you? 16 weeks

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?
    A/S appointment in 3.5 weeks

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?
    doing good and working on weaning off my nausea meds,

    QOTW: ITS OVER.  How was Christmas?
    I basically cried all AM and afternoon, but it was good and what I needed. I got it all out and then I was fine for dinner with my ILs. I received a figurine from my ILs with a woman holding a baby. It's a willow tree figurine called angel of mine. Most things that I've been given in memory of my son have the baby with wings, but this one doesn't have wings and looks like a woman holding a newborn baby. I'm not sure if it's in memory of my son or for the child I am carrying. I just said thank you.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
    looking forward to the A/S appointment
  • How far along are you?
    23 weeks, 5 days

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?
    Next appointment is in two weeks

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?
    Continuing to feel better and probably eating too much these days! I've regained most of the weight that I lost so I think I need to start focusing on making healthier choices. I'm still throwing up every few days but it's manageable.

    QOTW: ITS OVER. How was Christmas?
    It was a good day for us. It was sad but I really feel like we started some traditions that we'll continue as our family grows. We really enjoyed volunteering at the Salvation Army Christmas meal and I'm looking forward to bringing this baby next year (hopefully!). We brought flowers to the cemetery and then cooked dinner for some friends and family. A lot of our friends reached out and many made donations in Wesley's name as Christmas gifts to us. I'm still so touched by their thoughtfulness. My husband and I decided not to exchange presents but he surprised me with a second wedding band that incorporates Wesley's birthstone. It's beautiful!

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Throughout my entire pregnancy I joked that I didn't want a Christmas baby (I was due on 12/27 and ugh, the things you take for granted when you haven't experienced a loss! I still cringe about those superficial things I was worried about). I was really anxious about how we would feel with his angelversary being Christmas Day but I think it really motivated us to figure out how to celebrate him and create new family traditions. I'm really looking forward to adding to those traditions in the future.
  • @msunshine123‌- so glad you're feeling better! And the figurine from your in laws sounds beautiful. I'd like to think it's in memory of your son.

    @ikrystal‌- yay 30 weeks! That's awesome! While we all hope that baby girl keeps on cooking for awhile longer, it's not a bad idea to start on the nursery. It's also on my to do list and I'm having trouble getting started. Good luck!

    @Mel&John2013- I love the name Harrison and absolutely love the gift from your niece. How wonderful to have in Harrison's nursery! I'm sorry about your in laws. I

    @erinel‌- welcome back! So glad the placenta previa cleared, that must be such a relief. Hugs as your approach Q's birthday.

  • Hi ladies

    How far along are you? 23w3d

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Not until Jan 16th 

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?Just tired, lots of movement (really, really low! loves my bladder).  

    QOTW: ITS OVER.  How was Christmas? Ok. Kinda glad it's over. Lost my Mom 2 weeks ago so it was an emotional, strange Christmas. It was nice as it could have been though. I am really looking forward to next year with our LO and I want to go all out!

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? A lot, we're getting ready for my Mom's funeral on Tuesday. Lots of people flying in so we will be really busy.
     

    *posted this a day early, because I am swamped tomorrow and did not want to forget the check in :)

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  • @Mel&John2013  (((big hugs))). Glad you made it through. I love the name Harrison, and the dream catcher idea! I have totally sobbed on the ground at my daughter's grave. Sucks so much. You are a strong mama!

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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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    Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013

    BFP # 2 8/7/14 EDD 4/22/15
    Please be our rainbow!!

    **All AL Welcome**

  • issytex12issytex12 member
    edited December 2014
    How far along are you?

    26 weeks 3 days eek!

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?

    27 weeks is when i went into early labour the first time with noah so between then and 33 weeks when he was born i think im going to be super on edge! 3D scan next week though :)

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?

    Im seriously thinking i should get shares in this damn tropical juice!!
    QOTW: ITS OVER. How was Christmas?
    I was a lot more sad than i expected to be so had a lot of crying in the bathroom episodes not wanting to upset H or DD :(

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

    Cant wait till maternity leave 24 days to go!!
  • @Bgirma - congrats on continuing to feel better and eating! I love how you celebrated Wesley on Christmas and that so many friends reached out to support you too.
    @shandorfml2 - continuing to keep you in my thoughts and prayers, but especially on Tuesday this week - so many hugs to you.
    @issytext12 - thinking of you - it'll hard for me too - trying not be on edge especially at the end. I hope you enjoy the 3D scan. I've been enjoying lots of juices this pregnancy too - more so than last time:)
  • msunshine123 I'm glad you are starting to feel better. I also would think that the figurine is in memory of your son.  A/S in three weeks - wow! Moving right along!

    Bgirma I'm so glad you are feeling better. It sounds like you made the best out of your holiday - volunteering (so great!) and those donations in your baby's name sounds wonderful. And what a thoughtful gifrt from your husband!  I can only imagine how hard it is to have his angelversary on Christmas, but so glad you are finding ways to incorporate him into the holiday.  You are an inspiration!

    shandorfml2 I've been thinking a lot about you and your mom, and will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.  Sending lots of love to you. 

    issytex12 I'm so upset to hear about you crying in the bathroom alone, but I completely understand. It's hard to let out all your emotions in front of people and then especially when you don't want to upset anyone else.  Big hugs to you during this time - I get the anxiety that comes with specific milestones.  
  • @ikrystal, congrats on reaching 30 weeks!  I'm so glad your families remembered your boys!

    @Mel&John2013, I love the name Harrison!  Great choice!  I'm sorry for the rough moments over the holidays.  I hate that our babies on this board are overlooked but I'm surprised and saddened that you too have to deal with it given that Lincoln lived for many months.  ((hugs))

    @erinel, yay for the placenta previa clearing!  That's awesome!  ((hugs)) for Q's upcoming birthday.  I'll be thinking of you.

    @schulme2, I love that you did lanterns for Mary on Christmas Eve!  I hope the next week flies by for you and you're able to see your little one before you know it!

    @msunshine123, I'm glad you're starting to feel better!  I hope the next 3 weeks pass quickly for you.

    @Bgirma, I love the way you celebrated Wesley with the Salvation Army meal, and I'm so glad your friends and family celebrated him in such thoughtful ways.  I too have these moments of cringing at my former self; Layla was due on my son's birthday, and I kept saying how I hoped she would come a little early or a little late so they didn't have to share the same birthday.  So ridiculous.

    @shandorfml2, I'm glad that your Christmas was as nice as it could've been.  I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.  ((hugs))

    @issytex12, I'm so sorry Christmas was such a rough day.  I'll be thinking of you as your navigate through the start of this milestone period.  I can only imagine what I'm going to feel like as I approach 24 weeks, which is when we lost our daughter.

     

    November 2010 - 10.5 week loss  o:) 
    October 2011 - DS (7)  <3 
    July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)  o:) 
    August 2015 - DD (3)  <3 
    April 2018 - 5 week loss o:) 

  • How far along are you? 5w5d today
     
    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? I have my first appointment on Friday.  I'll be 6w2d and so looking forward to seeing a heartbeat.

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?
    Nope, not much of anything aside from lovely progesterone suppository side effects.

    QOTW: ITS OVER. How was Christmas?
    It was pretty okay actually.  We just kept it low key at home and then traveled to see parents and siblings the day after Christmas up until Sunday morning.  No one in my family or DH's family acknowledge Layla, so that sucked but I'm guessing people were just too concerned that buying ornaments other remembrance items would upset us or something.  Hopefully with time they will grow to understand that having to feel like the world has forgotten is one of the most hurtful things imaginable.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
    Just looking forward to and feeling anxiety about my appointment on Friday. Please have a heartbeat!  Please have a heartbeat!
    November 2010 - 10.5 week loss  o:) 
    October 2011 - DS (7)  <3 
    July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)  o:) 
    August 2015 - DD (3)  <3 
    April 2018 - 5 week loss o:) 

  • @CheesyPeas‌ i am sorry for the loss of your layla :( i hope this pregnancy goes smoothly for you, i understand how you feel with people seeming not to acknowledge your baby, i made a decoration last year with noahs footprint on it and date of birth and we hang it front and centre in our tree to try and include him in some small way. Hope you have a happy new year and your pregnancy progresses nicely :) xx
  • @CheesyPeas - I'm so sorry your family members did not mention Layla over Christmas. I'll be praying for you and your little one - I hope you hear a great heartbeat on Friday:)
  • CheesyPeas I'm sorry that no one acknowledged Layla.  That must have been so difficult.  I've talked to family and friends about this before and they have told me that people don't realize that it helps to hear about our babies - too often, they think it is better to avoid the subject.  I wish that would change and I hope that it changes for you. FX for Friday! 
  • Thanks everyone for being excited with me about Harrison's name! :)

    @msunshine Hmm...I guess the figure was a nice gesture either way, but I'm not sure which way she was going with that. But good news that you're feeling better and starting to wean off nausea medication! That's great!
    And thank you, I agree, the book was a stupid gift. WTF?!

    @bgirma So glad you found such a great way to celebrate your little angel, and help others. So awesome that friends made donations in Wesley's name! 
    I've had those same thoughts about my previous fears. For me, it was not wanting Lincoln to be born on Sept. 11. In hindsight, such a silly thing to have wasted energy on.

    @shandorfml2 Sending thoughts and prayers to you today as you get through your mom's funeral. What a mess your holiday season has turned out to be. I wish there was some way to ease the burden. You're strong, and you can do this!

    @issytex12 I can sympathize with trying to hide how upset you are. I just hate to upset my husband if he happens to be having a good day. It sucks. I've been trying lately to remind myself that if he were hurting I'd rather he just tell me so I can help carry some of his burden...it's been helping me share with him a little more. 
    Hopefully your 3D scan adds some cheer, that'll be fun! 

    @cheesypeas I'm sorry your family didn't acknowledge Layla. I have the same thought as you, I wonder if my family doesn't bring up Lincoln because they think doing so will upset me. Even though I've told them that's not the case. It's not like I forget my baby died, and bringing him up will remind me. I never forget, he's always on my mind.
    Regardless of stupid families, I'm looking forward to hearing about baby cheesy's heartbeat on Friday!

  • Maybe JoleisaMaybe Joleisa member
    edited December 2014
    How far along are you? 6w6d 

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Another u/s next week where my RE will try to graduate me, but then I'll beg for 1 more u/s that next week to get me through to the NT scan. 

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? I feel pretty good; any symptoms I have I was attributing it to anxiety, but I guess it is from pregnancy. Aside from thirst, I have a knot like feeling in the back of my throat that Google tells me is indigestion. 

     QOTW: ITS OVER. How was Christmas? Sad. No other way to explain it. I'm ecstatic to be pregnant again, but scared out of my mind. I bought ornaments with the boys' names on them for us, MIL and could only find 1 of 2 for a set for my sister. (My mom passed away in 2012, so my sister has been my right hand gal through our infertility & loss.) 

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Can it be August 2015 already? I'm a nervous wreck since betas. Beta 1 was great, beta 2 showed an 84 hour doubling time, beta 3 returned to a 44 hour double. Refused any more betas. U/S #1 was Christmas Eve at 6w and we saw a HB at 115 bpm--so happy! Saturday I cramped all day and passed a large clot; I've been cramping & lightly spotting since. Thus began 72 hours of hell, until they could squeeze me in for an u/s this morning where we saw the little bean measuring 6w5d with a HR of 141 bpm. Sounds perfect, right? Well, in reality it was a new RE to the practice who wasn't very good with the machine and my whole body was shaking during the 15+ minutes it took her to get a measurement. 

    I need to calm the eff down. Suggestions welcome! :smile: So happy to be here, ladies!

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    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
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  • Maybe Joleisa Glad to see you over here :)  So glad to hear that you saw the HB on Christmas Eve - what a great present!  Although, I'm sure you wree so scared with the cramping and spotting. FX that all is well.  We can all relate to the mixed emotions of being excited and being scared. I wish I had suggestions on how to calm down - but sadly, I am the poster child for anxiety.  There are mantras on the PGAL board that I heard were very helpful. Let us know if you need anything, anytime!
  • @Maybejoleisa Congratulations on getting to see your little bean! I know this journey is anxiety filled, and since I'm a nervous wreck by nature I don't have any advice on how to eliminate the anxiety. So I'll just focus on the fact that your little baby is growing, hooray!
  • @CheesyPeas‌ - my husband's family didn't mention Georgia at all at Christmas either. I cried when I got home and my husband and I discussed that they probably just didn't know how to comfortably include her. My SIL made little stockings for the kids with their names... Georgia was not included. It broke my heart. This would have been her first Christmas and for some reason, I had assumed everyone would have been extra caring and they weren't. I'm so happy the holidays are over.
  • msunshine123msunshine123 member
    edited December 2014
    @Maybe Joleisa Congratulations and welcome! I'm glad you got to see your LO's heartbeat - it's the best:) I agree with PPs that PgAL is not easy and you've had such a roller coaster to start. I'm hoping and praying it gets better so that you don't have to stress so much.  I am a worrywart, but my way of trying to keep my sanity has been to really just focus on the current moment - it works sometimes, but not always. ((hugs))
    @hsabyan - I'm so sorry your family didn't acknowledge Georgia at Christmas. I would have cried if all the other kids received stockings and there was not one for my son. So many hugs to you.
  • @MaybeJoleisa, congratulations on the heartbeat!  I'm sorry you've had such a scary road so far.  I hope things are smooth sailing from this point forward!

    @hsabyan, I'm so sorry your husband's family didn't acknowledge your daughter either.  I know what you mean about thinking there would be extra sensitivity this first year.  It really hurt to think "oh great, they've already moved past thinking of her.  There's not a prayer for keeping her memory alive with them in subsequent years."  Maybe if I had posted a picture of Layla's angel tree on Facebook or a picture of stockings with hers included or something, they would've felt more comfortable navigating how we might want to honor our angel.  I think I'll be more deliberate about that next year so they know.  With a new baby expected before the holidays next year, Layla is even more likely to be overlooked if I'm not "public" about honoring her.

    November 2010 - 10.5 week loss  o:) 
    October 2011 - DS (7)  <3 
    July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)  o:) 
    August 2015 - DD (3)  <3 
    April 2018 - 5 week loss o:) 

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