Thursday family/in-law vents

Snapdragon750 · December 2014

How has this not been started yet??

Snapdragon750 · December 2014

Mine is pretty tame but super annoying--we are on a road trip with our kids, and MIL is sitting with them in the back of the van (her choice), and she keeps trying to talk to us over the movie but we can rarely hear her and she can never hear our reply, so it's a lot of "what? WHAT???? I can't hear a word you're saying."

Silence is ok, Mom!

chertmm · December 2014

My rant is that I am just over family in general! Nothing terrible happened today. In fact, my MIL was very sweet and accommodating (making my favorite dish for brunch). I am just over screwing on a smile and holding in my gas. I can't wait to get comfy and release the pressure.

Pintobean39 · December 2014

I mentioned this in randoms earlier but my step mom is following me around the house taking pictures of my bump in everything I wear and everything I do. I'm about to shove this camera up her ass. Sober Christmas isn't fun!!!

She also informed me when I have the baby she will come take care of me and then they will come stay every other weekend after that. FUCK NO!!!! I've been telling her I do to need help but she won't listen.

Snapdragon750 · December 2014

Pintobean39 said:
I mentioned this in randoms earlier but my step mom is following me around the house taking pictures of my bump in everything I wear and everything I do. I'm about to shove this camera up her ass. Sober Christmas isn't fun!!!

She also informed me when I have the baby she will come take care of me and then they will come stay every other weekend after that. FUCK NO!!!! I've been telling her I do to need help but she won't listen.

That would drive me insane.

rivers714 · December 2014

Just the normal whispers I half expected " where's the dad?"... But nothing to my face obviously.

Or my favorite was " are you getting larger by the hour?"

Or them giving me shit because I let my son have peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch. He hates turkey and ravioli... So yes I'm going to let him eat that with fruit and milk that is atleast somewhat healthy... You do your kids I'll do mine thank you very much!!

MrsPDX · December 2014

Ok today's rant is about being in the middle of my in-laws problems...so my grandmother in-law is very old and sick. She probably won't make it through the year. She adores her son (my FIL) and doesn't like my MIL, even though my MIL has tried to be nice. So this year my MIL decided she would not speak to her, and wouldn't let her family speak to her.

My DH and I have continued our relationship with both. When DH left, I continued to visit her.

Well, DH's little brother is home for a week from his military duty and DH's grandmother keeps asking me when he's going to visit... And he never did. Of course I can't ask him to, since his mother has cut all ties for her and her family.

Now DH's grandmother has asked me to bring her Christmas presents to my in-laws (tomorrow when I see them), which is super awkward since they want nothing to do with her...

Long story short, I do NOT want to be in the middle of this!!!

And I feel so bad because she could literally pass away this winter, and everyone has abandoned her and I'm the only one who calls or visits her, and she will cry on the phone with me, it's heartbreaking! Yet I have to stay on the good side with my in-laws (they already don't like me)...And DH isn't here to help sort it out, so I'm just trying my best. So yeah end of rant....

Snapdragon750 · December 2014

AlwaysLastZZ said:
DH's kids were super ungrateful today. They started crying because the millions of toys they got weren't good enough.
I'm so ready to have an empty home again.

Of all the things you've said about those kids, this is the worst. I would be livid.

And if they were my kids, I'd take everything back to the store (or donate them) and replace them with nothing.

See, told you your H's kids would hate me!

SeventyThree · December 2014

I got my first belly rub at our Christmas lunch today, seconds after taking off my coat... but it was from DH's 80-year-old grandmother, so I couldn't do much but smile.

My actual rant is about my MIL. With this being the holiday season we've been seeing much more of the in-laws than usual, and she takes EVERY opportunity to talk about how she is convinced this baby is a girl. She always refers to it as "she", or tells us to make sure we think of girl names because it's a girl, stuff like that. Nothing terribly awful but it's gotten really old REALLY fast and we've only at the halfway point. Also I don't actually care about the sex right now, but every time she does that I secretly wish for it to be a boy just so I don't have to spend the 6 months following baby's birth hearing "See, I TOLD YOU it was a girl, I just knew it!" and stuff like that... and then I resent her for making me feel that way! I know that I could have it MUCH worse, but I'm just too tired to deal with this crap.

Snapdragon750 · December 2014

@SeventyThree‌ my MIL and SIL are obnoxiously convinced that we will only ever have girls. They were so annoying after the first two. Little do they know that I'm stubborn to the level that I will keep having them until I have a boy just to shut them up.

Snapdragon750 · December 2014

AlwaysLastZZ said:

Snapdragon750 said:

AlwaysLastZZ said:
DH's kids were super ungrateful today. They started crying because the millions of toys they got weren't good enough.
I'm so ready to have an empty home again.
Of all the things you've said about those kids, this is the worst. I would be livid.

And if they were my kids, I'd take everything back to the store (or donate them) and replace them with nothing.

See, told you your H's kids would hate me!
@Snapdragon750‌ his DD literally asked "daddy why did you get me this?" And "daddy I don't want this" after all but one present.
It was terrible. I could tell DH was really upset about it.

My step brother was like this. I was completely floored the first time I saw him open a present. We had an obscene number of toys in my family, but we were always happy to get something new...so I totally don't understand where this ungrateful attitude comes from.

rivers714 · December 2014

Where presents purchased that were kid appropriate? I'm just saying this because sometimes if the parents don't know what to buy it can be tough especially where he doesn't see them a ton.

My son wanted very little so there was a bunch of duplicates. I had to talk to him about how to gracefully accept a gift and tell him we'd exchange duplicates later, he's also 8. But for little little kids that's not a super great option. Plus for a first Christmas with them I can't imagine it went at all how you guys expected - try to forge forward by making some memories with the lil nuggets, you have two weeks right?

Snapdragon750 · December 2014

We had zillions of toys, got practically everything that we wanted ever, and were always grateful. I'm a firm believer that spoiling is less about the amount of stuff and more about the attitude you teach your kids to have. DD is 3 and I've already had lots of teaching moments with her about this.

illogicaltuvok · December 2014

So I really pissed at my inlaws. They asked us what to get the our 2 girls, and I told them in person and via text that I was looking for Toysrus gift cards because they would both like a play kitchen, and we can't really afford to buy it by ourselves. At the time everyone thought it was a great idea, especially we found out we are going to end up with 3 girls now.
Well come Xmas morning, many gift for my girls ( which I'm totally greatful for) but not one of the suggestion I had made. I had told them to just get a simple gift for under the tree ( at their insistence) and however much they could give towards the kitchen. Anything would help.

Come to find out through my SIL that they never had any intention to do that. They did not like my idea, but instead of telling us, they said nothing. However, we went and got a gift card for FIL which now I wish we wouldn't have listen to them.

To top it off the things they got the girls are accessories to the kitchen that was suppose to be bought between all of us. Can't wait until they ask about the kitchen and I tell them not happening.

CorryS12 · December 2014

@AlwaysLastZZ‌ ugh, NOT OK. This would drive me crazy. Definitely makes it harder to form a bond w a step child when they have behaviour that is not in line w your values and beliefs. I have a 6 year old step son and I am so thankful his mom and DH/I are on the same page as far as thankfulness and manners, etc. I have been in my step sons life since he was just a lil over 1 and my family and I adore him, in fact he spends more time w my family than my in laws. Be patient and loving, they will be your LO's older brothers and sister and hopefully your blended family can grow harmoniously.

I am pretty damn lucky as far as in laws are concerned. They butt out for the most part and I am their favorite daughter in law. Thankfully they are out of town so really no complaints about them this holiday season.

wingardium3 · December 2014

I'm 900 miles away from my family and they have annoyed and ticked me off. I just got off the phone with my grandmother, who was so upset that only one of my five sisters (the youngest btw 15) and none of my aunts helped her with dinner or cleanup. This woman works full time and was up since 4 cooking/baking. She is also 68 years old and has had a triple bypass and is a diabetic. She was so upset I just started crying because I couldn't be there for her. My sisters were taught better than that. Im so angry with them.

Snapdragon750 · December 2014

illogicaltuvok said:
So I really pissed at my inlaws. They asked us what to get the our 2 girls, and I told them in person and via text that I was looking for Toysrus gift cards because they would both like a play kitchen, and we can't really afford to buy it by ourselves. At the time everyone thought it was a great idea, especially we found out we are going to end up with 3 girls now.
Well come Xmas morning, many gift for my girls ( which I'm totally greatful for) but not one of the suggestion I had made. I had told them to just get a simple gift for under the tree ( at their insistence) and however much they could give towards the kitchen. Anything would help.

Come to find out through my SIL that they never had any intention to do that. They did not like my idea, but instead of telling us, they said nothing. However, we went and got a gift card for FIL which now I wish we wouldn't have listen to them.

To top it off the things they got the girls are accessories to the kitchen that was suppose to be bought between all of us. Can't wait until they ask about the kitchen and I tell them not happening.

Ugh. My FIL is always asking what we want, and of course I tell him anything would be great, but he insists, so I suggest something. Then he says "ok" and then never buys it.

If you don't like the suggestion just say so, because if you tell me you're getting it then I'm going to put off buying it myself expecting to get it from you!

MissRissx3 · December 2014

My mom is an alcoholic/bi polar and she has sorta been at my throat recently for whatever reason. she threw a major BF because we were "too late" on her birthday. When DH works 10 hour days. Anyways, she showed up at my cousins today trashed and on her meds. (Yeah fun times) and she kept insisting that I sit on her 92 pound lap. Uhm for one, I'm 156 pounds and for two, I don't want to fucking sit on your lap. She grabs me by the arm and she's like "pleeeeeease sit on my lap!" Like wtf? She's never acted like this before.
Other than that, I'm 4 months And so many people are rubbing my barely protruding belly. My mom forced her boyfriends hand on my stomach -_- even though I voiced that me nor him were okay with it.

jraeohyeaaa · December 2014

Too much tummy-touching for me this holiday! Also I need to vent about my in-laws. I love them...really wonderful compared to some of the stuff I read on here (so sorry for you ladies who have to deal with such craziness!!!) but my FIL has no filter whatsoever and DH comes from a family of all boys. Basically they don't understand women. My MIL is very sweet but the men in the house just get very overwhelming to me...especially because they have no clue that some things they say may be offensive. Like FIL asked if I have gained any weight being pregnant. DH stuck up for me when I said I don't really like answering that...but my brother in law goes "well you have to answer it when you're pregnant!" Actually I don't.

We also announced the sex of our baby to them and FIL said "please tell us when we can post online that we are having a girl." Nooooo I am having a girl. He also kept mentioning "our baby" and I was like uhhhh no she is our baby, your grandbaby. DH hasn't been much help on this front either.

manacita · December 2014

illogicaltuvok said:
So I really pissed at my inlaws. They asked us what to get the our 2 girls, and I told them in person and via text that I was looking for Toysrus gift cards because they would both like a play kitchen, and we can't really afford to buy it by ourselves. At the time everyone thought it was a great idea, especially we found out we are going to end up with 3 girls now.
Well come Xmas morning, many gift for my girls ( which I'm totally greatful for) but not one of the suggestion I had made. I had told them to just get a simple gift for under the tree ( at their insistence) and however much they could give towards the kitchen. Anything would help.

Come to find out through my SIL that they never had any intention to do that. They did not like my idea, but instead of telling us, they said nothing. However, we went and got a gift card for FIL which now I wish we wouldn't have listen to them.

To top it off the things they got the girls are accessories to the kitchen that was suppose to be bought between all of us. Can't wait until they ask about the kitchen and I tell them not happening.

They have a super nice one from ikea that isn't too expensive. It isn't the huge delux version, but both my kids and all their friends love ours. Plus it is gender neutral and decor neutral, so it isn't an eyesore.

Now my vent. Instead of getting the kids 1 or 2 nice things or any of the things I mentioned they would like, my insane mil got them probably 20 cheap items. Really cheap. Really really cheap. As in, I'm afraid to let dd chew on these things because she'll get lead poisoning from bad manufacturing.

Also, for those of you whose inlaws are so sure about the gender, how is this? With dd my mil called me and told me that Jesus had come to her in a dream and told her I was having a girl. Because she was 'right' there has been no living with her level of obnoxious about predicting things about my kids ever since. Batshitcrazy.

manacita · December 2014

@illogicaltuvok‌ - ok. I feel like my previous post came out rude. I only mention the ikea one because we're on a super tight budget too, so I know where you are coming from. I try to thrift and criagslist shop, but that can be hard to do with kids. So sometimes it is easier for me to buy a smaller less expensive and new item from ikea. Good luck and I hope you find whatever works for you and your girls.

OnceInLoveWithAmy · December 2014

Both my mother and my husbands aunt asked " are you sure there is only one in there?'
I don't know if there is a more offensive thing to say to me. Really.

thisbabysactingfresh · December 2014

After much pestering and against my better judgement I finally gave in to MIL's insistence that I tell her names we're considering... WHHHHYYYY. WHY did I set myself up?! I've clearly gone soft in the head. Our two male names, one of which is my last name, were met with sour faces, drawn out pronunciations and immediate suggestions for something else. She acted as if she didn't even hear the female name and forged ahead with her own suggestion and agenda. After using my last name as a potential middle name repeatedly I tried to remind her firmly that I really wanted to use it as a first name... Which made her fussed and then ask if they'd at least get something from their family in the name... YES, THE BABYS LAST NAME CRAZY LADY!

She also felt the need to tell me that SIL who (I thought) I have a good relationship with viewed me as the 'enemy' until my recent trip to see her on my move across the country. They apparently 'talked about it a lot' over the years. What in the actual fuck?! The Daddy and I have been together for 10 years, is this real life?!

So I'm now trapped in this bedroom starving because The Daddy is passed out from jet lag and I don't want to go downstairs and deal with her alone...

nicunursetomommy · December 2014

Oh thank god! I needed to vent about my MIL.

First, she buys us a $600 crib even though we already bought one. She then gets mad that we "ruined her surprise" and decides to not get us anything at all. Typical.

A day later, she contacts my DH and says she is throwing me a baby shower. She randomly picked the date for Feb 5th which only puts me at a little over 24 weeks. Way too early. She didn't even think to contact my mom and just wants her to fly down for it with only a months notice. We also have no family here. Now my moms feelings are hurt because I am her only daughter and she wanted to throw me a shower back home with family. My MIL has a mind of her own.

Unknown · December 2014

This content has been removed.

jakobaby · December 2014

DH's family is giving me a hard time that I'm not showing enough and that I should eat more. Every half hour I'm being offered food. Also, I can't have a skinny baby "because he's a boy" so I better fatten up. To make matters worse, I am being compared to his sister who is due 6 days earlier, also with a boy. This is her second child. I'm a FTM and very fit so it's going to be awhile until I really show.

sb184 · December 2014

DH and I feel strongly about cigarette smoke/smoking. We have made it clear that if anyone smokes and smells like smoke to not come around either of us or the baby when we arrives. The smell makes me nauseated and I just think it's disgusting. There have also been several studies linking 2nd and 3rd hand smoke to different illnesses. So my MIL goes outside to smoke during family dinner and the she has the nerve to come hug me and touch my stomach. Umm I don't think so ma'am!! Not to mention she wanted me to host Christmas dinner at my house! My poor mother ended up having 3 Christmas meals (one for DH's side of the family) just so I wouldn't have to prepare them dinner at my house. So rude and ungrateful!! Next year if they want to see us they can quit smoking and ask us to their house. I'm so sick of going out of my way to accommodate them!

CamoBride2010 · December 2014

I know it's now Friday but I was to angry and tired to post last night. WTF is with my husband's family. They find out we are having another girl and everyone seems all disappointed. Because in this little world no one is allowed to have more than 2 children and what a shame that our second is going to be a girl. (<--please hear my very angry sarcasm) This stupid "idea" makes me want to punch things. Which even if we do only end up with 2 kiddos I love the idea of 2 little girls. Honestly, I would have been happy either way as long as baby is healthy and safe, but I am super excited about the idea of having 2 little girls under the age of 3. Just makes me so angry when people ask what the sex of the new baby is and I say girl they get so quiet and go, "oh..." like it is a let down. BAH!

Honda13 · December 2014

Christmas day at the in laws my nephew had several meltdowns. He is five and he will throw himself on the floor, bang his head on anything, punch himself in the face, scream bloody murder, and hit and throw at anyone nearby. This happened at least 5 times yesterday. This LO is our first so I don't judge parenting is hard I'm sure. So while he is having a meltdown I was sitting at the kitchen table minding my own business in my phone and SIL (nephews mom) looks at me and says "oh you just wait! Your child will act just like this and throw tantrums. Only hers tantrums will be worse because she is a girl and girls always act up more!". I had no response, I said nothing about her child's behavior and was literally surfing the web when she said that to me. I'm still trying to process that interaction. Not really sure where she got that or why she felt the need to say our child will act worse than hers. Gotta love in laws lol!

illogicaltuvok · December 2014

@Snapdragon750‌ Yes! Exactly what I'm trying to point out to my husband.

illogicaltuvok · December 2014

manacita said:
@illogicaltuvok‌ - ok. I feel like my previous post came out rude. I only mention the ikea one because we're on a super tight budget too, so I know where you are coming from. I try to thrift and criagslist shop, but that can be hard to do with kids. So sometimes it is easier for me to buy a smaller less expensive and new item from ikea. Good luck and I hope you find whatever works for you and your girls.

First I did not take any offense to your suggestion. Not rude at all. Thsnk you for the suggestion, I love ikea and will look into it. Thank you.

Thank you to everyone else for suggestion, I had my cry it out to my husband and he finally saw my point and frustrations at his family. Can't wait to go home and be away from all this stress.

amalama · December 2014

MIL just texted me with a list of family that's in town and what events we have for the next 5 days. This is the first I've heard of any of it and I'm not really sure if she's saying we should be going to all of it or just trying to get us to come to at least some of it. Since there is so many I feel like we have to go to at least some, but there's no way she just heard about all this now so why didn't she ask us sooner? Like when we made our other Christmas plans or even when we saw her for Christmas Eve at least? I'm ignoring it until I talk to H.

sunnysidexup · December 2014

nlincoln88 said:
DH's family is giving me a hard time that I'm not showing enough and that I should eat more. Every half hour I'm being offered food. Also, I can't have a skinny baby "because he's a boy" so I better fatten up. To make matters worse, I am being compared to his sister who is due 6 days earlier, also with a boy. This is her second child. I'm a FTM and very fit so it's going to be awhile until I really show.

Wish I had this problem. I was fit but have been in survival mode with sickness and food aversions so working out hasn't been an option. I get the 'are you sure there aren't two in there?' comments.

sunnysidexup · December 2014

amalama said:
MIL just texted me with a list of family that's in town and what events we have for the next 5 days. This is the first I've heard of any of it and I'm not really sure if she's saying we should be going to all of it or just trying to get us to come to at least some of it. Since there is so many I feel like we have to go to at least some, but there's no way she just heard about all this now so why didn't she ask us sooner? Like when we made our other Christmas plans or even when we saw her for Christmas Eve at least? I'm ignoring it until I talk to H.

Say you're sick. If they're jerks about it then it looks bad on them, not you

sunnysidexup · December 2014

sb184 said:
DH and I feel strongly about cigarette smoke/smoking. We have made it clear that if anyone smokes and smells like smoke to not come around either of us or the baby when we arrives. The smell makes me nauseated and I just think it's disgusting. There have also been several studies linking 2nd and 3rd hand smoke to different illnesses. So my MIL goes outside to smoke during family dinner and the she has the nerve to come hug me and touch my stomach. Umm I don't think so ma'am!! Not to mention she wanted me to host Christmas dinner at my house! My poor mother ended up having 3 Christmas meals (one for DH's side of the family) just so I wouldn't have to prepare them dinner at my house. So rude and ungrateful!! Next year if they want to see us they can quit smoking and ask us to their house. I'm so sick of going out of my way to accommodate them!

I feel this way about our neighbors. The HOA rule is to smoke at least 100 yards from the buildings. So I'm pissed when I see my neighbor smoking ten feet away on her porch and it wafts into my condo. Can't wait to have a house of our own without sharing walls, but even then the neighbors can be too close.

amalama · December 2014

sunnysidexup said:

MIL just texted me with a list of family that's in town and what events we have for the next 5 days. This is the first I've heard of any of it and I'm not really sure if she's saying we should be going to all of it or just trying to get us to come to at least some of it. Since there is so many I feel like we have to go to at least some, but there's no way she just heard about all this now so why didn't she ask us sooner? Like when we made our other Christmas plans or even when we saw her for Christmas Eve at least? I'm ignoring it until I talk to H.
Say you're sick. If they're jerks about it then it looks bad on them, not you

I'm definitely skipping some of it! If H wants to go I might go to one thing with him, or maybe just send him and DD. I just don't understand why they don't tell us these things sooner, I don't mind family events it's just so inconsiderate!

sb184 · December 2014

@bearvg‌ @sunnysidexup‌
I feel your pain. My in laws smoke in their house. We've already told then if they have smoked or smell of smoke don't bother coming to the hospital or our house as they will not see us or baby! I'm also lucky as DH feels the same as I do. And since they smoke in their house, they always stink! So unless they stop and air their house out, they won't be around us or baby (and I can't say I'd be disappointed).

masonsmomandmaybaby · December 2014

On Christmas Eve we had to be at in laws at 2 which I thought was to eat so we ate a late breakfast thinking we would eat lunch. We didn't eat till 7!!!! All we had was queso to eat. I was so pissed bc I was told we would eat early. I have hyperemesis and have to eat early to avoid getting sick. So of course I could hardly eat anything. I just get sick of them not taking me into consideration at all.

madisoncall · December 2014

On Christmas Eve we saw my in-laws. After what was more like men's locker room talk in front of my 4 year old and we had asked them to stop nicely at least four times I lost it a little bit... I raised my voice and said if they didn't stop I would have to take my daughter and leave! When I took her to the bathroom to potty and put her pjs on they left! They didn't even wait to tell their own granddaughter bye! I know I shouldn't have lost my cool... But we did ask nicely and most of the talk wasn't even appropriate for their 11 year old!

ewkeller · December 2014

My husband's aunt wanted to take a family photo today, and as we were all lining up she said to me, " we can take a picture while you're fat and then another when you're thin again." She's never had a baby, so clearly doesn't empathize, but it really hurt my feelings. When my husband objected and told her that you shouldn't say something so rude to a pregnant lady, she replied, "I say whatever I want to pregnant women!" Gee, thanks for the apology. What a thoughtless jerk.

ewkeller · December 2014

@Starbuck 128: Ha! No, but I definitely wish I had! :P

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