Only SPAM Days 'Til Christmas!

TheLittleRedM · December 2014

Didn't see a new one yet, so go!

TheLittleRedM · December 2014

Also, I've been playing Sudoku on my phone for the last hour and a half. I think it may be bedtime now.

Unknown · December 2014

This content has been removed.

TheLittleRedM · December 2014

That's the best way to end a wrapping session, IMO.

gutsymama · December 2014

Last summer when L was obsessed with wearing everything as hats I took this picture in the grocery store to start a spam thread with, but then never got around to actually posting it. So,

SPAM HAT!

gutsymama · December 2014

In case you missed it at the end of yesterday's spam, because I know several of you were very invested in what happens to my Charlie Brown tree - it finally stopped raining here, so I wrapped it with lights at a quarter till midnight tonight. Hallelujah, Holy Shit: We are making Christmas lemonade from our shitty lemon tree:

TheLittleRedM · December 2014

OMG I love it @gutsymama! So. Much. Love. I think everyone should take that approach when decorating trees in their front yard....and bushes....and houses.

queenbone · December 2014

gutsymama said:

In case you missed it at the end of yesterday's spam, because I know several of you were very invested in what happens to my Charlie Brown tree - it finally stopped raining here, so I wrapped it with lights at a quarter till midnight tonight. Hallelujah, Holy Shit: We are making Christmas lemonade from our shitty lemon tree:

I like your brick house.

And now I'm going to have that song in my head until I fall asleep.

queenbone · December 2014

My knees hurt so bad! I was kneeling on the floor for hours wrapping presents. I couldn't find the tape dispenser anywhere. I suspect DS1 has taken it because he likes to do his own craft projects, but he is spending the night at my mom's so I couldn't ask him where it was. As a result DH had to be my human tape dispenser. That's a lot of tape dispensing, but still he got the side eye from me when he complained about being bored. Ummm, do you want to be wrapping these presents? No? Then shaddap and hand me another tiny piece of tape.

I didn't even get to wrapping the books yet. There are 21 of them. @-) I have a serious problem when it comes to books or bookstores. I've been buying books all year apparently and hiding them in my closet. But I didn't remember how many of them there were, and then I went on a book buying spree at Powell's last week. It was a little embarrassing tonight as I was gathering them all up. Oops!

queenbone · December 2014

Also, FFTC: I feel a little guilty because I bought more gifts for DS1 than the other two. And the financial sum of his gifts is a lot more than the other two. He's just easier to shop for, probably because I have known him the longest? I honestly don't feel like I favor any of them over the others. I love each of them and they are each so different and special to me. My love feels equal to me. But when I looked at the pile of presents, I felt like it looks like I have a favorite.

ETA: That sob emoji looks a lot more like some sort of eye pus problem than tears.

gutsymama · December 2014

Highlights of our early Christmas weekend away:

Lucas screams for the last hour of our drive; I keep calm, read him books and show him videos and carry on.

Lucas refuses to eat because EVERYTHING IS INTERESTING, and helpful sister helps by SCREAMING at dogs and children who are being mildly distracting; I mostly keep calm, ignore, and carry on.

Everything in tarnation that we need disappears at critical moments; I mostly keep calm, make jokes, and carry on.

Helpful sister's text alert is an entire ringtone at full volume, and she is bewildered at the suggestion that this might be irritating: I keep calm, and carry on.

DH and I sleep in nephew's bed, who apparently sleeps with no real pillows or blankets; I keep calm, ignore the fact that I can no longer turn my head without shooting pains, and carry on.

My grandpa suggests that we shouldn't live in the city, because we will probably get robbed/raped/shot/kidnapped, and thinks my mom is probably damaging her marriage by spending multiple nights at my house leaving my dad without anybody to wait on him hand and foot; I (and my mom) bite my tongue, and carry on.

My too-young-to-know-better nephew goes on and on about how neighbor toddler is FAT and they should stop feeding him so much, and see how Lucas is kind of skinny and why can't that kid be like him?: I let it roll off, keep calm, and carry on.

Helpful sister insists that her friend who is a nurse who adopted a short gut child puts green beans in her son's IV and we should do that to help Luke's poops, despite my insistence that she must be talking about his tube feeds because injecting green bean puree into the bloodstream would KILL HIM; I mostly ignore, let it roll off, and carry on.

30 people in an 800sqft house, with the thermostat kept at 78 degrees; I grin and bear it and carry on.

Lucas insists on kissing everybody on the mouth because he is adorable and lovable and awesome and germy: I suck up my anxiety and carry on.

Helpful sister claims she is allergic to the smell of broccoli and saw a story on the news that said you definitely could be allergic to smells and she is; I start to lose my filter, tell her that's the stupidest thing I ever heard and the only problem she has is being high maintenance. She denies being high maintenance, and I bite my tongue SO HARD to keep from telling her to fuck off.

On the way out, DH says, "So you really want to move here?!" And I say "OMFG YES!!!!" Because then we could go home whenever we want and sleep in our own fucking bed in our own fucking house and go home and bitch about people in the peace of our own fucking home and stop fucking biting our tongues and keeping calm.

@-) ~X( :-t b-( X( ~X(

[Deleted User] · December 2014

@gutsymama‌ your tree looks warm!

gutsymama · December 2014

econmama said:

@gutsymama I'm now google map searching every house in STL to try and find your address. Too soon?

@haddocky If you are using Google Earth, mine is the house with the already-paranoid-about-pooping golden retriever caught pooping on global camera in the back yard.

gutsymama · December 2014

gutsymama said:

Highlights of our early Christmas weekend away:

Lucas screams for the last hour of our drive; I keep calm, read him books and show him videos and carry on.

Lucas refuses to eat because EVERYTHING IS INTERESTING, and helpful sister helps by SCREAMING at dogs and children who are being mildly distracting; I mostly keep calm, ignore, and carry on.

Everything in tarnation that we need disappears at critical moments; I mostly keep calm, make jokes, and carry on.

Helpful sister's text alert is an entire ringtone at full volume, and she is bewildered at the suggestion that this might be irritating: I keep calm, and carry on.

DH and I sleep in nephew's bed, who apparently sleeps with no real pillows or blankets; I keep calm, ignore the fact that I can no longer turn my head without shooting pains, and carry on.

My grandpa suggests that we shouldn't live in the city, because we will probably get robbed/raped/shot/kidnapped, and thinks my mom is probably damaging her marriage by spending multiple nights at my house leaving my dad without anybody to wait on him hand and foot; I (and my mom) bite my tongue, and carry on.

My too-young-to-know-better nephew goes on and on about how neighbor toddler is FAT and they should stop feeding him so much, and see how Lucas is kind of skinny and why can't that kid be like him?: I let it roll off, keep calm, and carry on.

Helpful sister insists that her friend who is a nurse who adopted a short gut child puts green beans in her son's IV and we should do that to help Luke's poops, despite my insistence that she must be talking about his tube feeds because injecting green bean puree into the bloodstream would KILL HIM; I mostly ignore, let it roll off, and carry on.

30 people in an 800sqft house, with the thermostat kept at 78 degrees; I grin and bear it and carry on.

Lucas insists on kissing everybody on the mouth because he is adorable and lovable and awesome and germy: I suck up my anxiety and carry on.

Helpful sister claims she is allergic to the smell of broccoli and saw a story on the news that said you definitely could be allergic to smells and she is; I start to lose my filter, tell her that's the stupidest thing I ever heard and the only problem she has is being high maintenance. She denies being high maintenance, and I bite my tongue SO HARD to keep from telling her to fuck off.

On the way out, DH says, "So you really want to move here?!" And I say "OMFG YES!!!!" Because then we could go home whenever we want and sleep in our own fucking bed in our own fucking house and go home and bitch about people in the peace of our own fucking home and stop fucking biting our tongues and keeping calm.

@-) ~X( :-t b-( X( ~X(

And, I'm not just overreacting because my anxiety has a quick trigger. My mom has already told me if we move and end up renting a crappy apartment for a year she would probably sleep on our couch/floor next year rather than helpful sister's guest bed. Because OM FUCKING G.

gutsymama · December 2014

This weekend did make me realize how much my (reasonable? idk) anxiety is escalated to red alert by the slightest thing.

If Luke poops and rolls around in it, we are not just frustrated that we will have to bathe him; we are worried that it will get up under his dressing and we will have to do a sterile procedure and maybe end up in the hospital with a line infection. So when he is completely cleaned up and there is no more threat, but I can't find the Desitin and the diaper change isn't going well, I still automatically escalate to red alert level. I need to work on that, and I don't know how. Everything stresses me the fuck out.

queenbone · December 2014

econmama said:

Eating cold pizza at 3am. Because, why not?

That sounds delightful right now.

fabk · December 2014

Alex got a huge Olaf that lights up last night. The kid acted like there was a celebrity in the room. I didn't know if he would even recognize him. Boy was I wrong.

fabk · December 2014

caffienerain said:
Nope, not dreaming. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Oh no!!!!

Stacey099 · December 2014

Hello ladies! I have my new phone and J13 has been made into a bookmark! Only two more days of work for me and then nine days off! Woot woot!
@gutsymama‌ I love you tree! And your house is adorable. Your weekend sounds very stressful to me. ~X( Glad you got through it
So sorry @missymr‌. He sounds so sad.

Hope he falls asleep and feels better soon.

Stacey099 · December 2014

caffienerain said:
I must be dreaming. DH just called and told me he dislocated his knee and that he was in the ER 2 hours away.

Oh no!

Stacey099 · December 2014

@lancomechica‌ and @amparo1981‌ are gonna be sad

Stacey099 · December 2014

Damn @caffienerain‌

(

beckyanddon · December 2014

@caffienerain‌ so sorry
@gutsymama‌ you made it!

I won my fantasy football league! Super exciting.

We are going to see santa today...I have so much to do and neither my mom or sister have gifts.

(
Not even a clue of what to get either.

kaylakim · December 2014

@gutsymama‌ I LOVE your Charlie Brown tree! Sorry your weekend was so stressful. ..I don't know if I could have handled it. Hugs! >:D<

@caffienerain‌ Oh No! Poor your dh and poor you!

I got lots of wrapping done yesterday and then dh and I got almost everything packed for our Florida trip on Saturday. I'm so excited! Packing stresses me out when we're unsure of the weather. Florida girls, is it still humid in December or no?

Stacey099 · December 2014

I become so productive when I hear G start to wake up. I could have done everything before he woke and not been stressed but as soon as i hear him moving and talking, it's like fire has been lit under my ass.

MRads · December 2014

@caffienerain‌

You need this

MRads · December 2014

A friend shared this pic with me. I'm sure there are a few j13 friends who might be ALLLL about this. I am for placenta encapsulation, but I draw the line at this.

MRads · December 2014

econmama said:

caffienerain said:
Someone come crane lift me out of bed. I'm so basic, I've lost the ability to even today.

GUISE I CANT EVEN

:flap:
Know why the sorority girl was bad at math?

Because she can't even.

I have one for this, too

atlvol · December 2014

Whew! 2 pages already?!? This bed that we have to sleep on is awful. My neck hurts so bad, just popped 2 tylenol. Ugh.

Hugs and coffee! I'm trying to keep up with yall!!

stephyfaith · December 2014

Hugs @gutsymama‌ and @caffienerain‌ !

I have one present left to wrap and then I'm done!

Sister plus chihuahua are here and she is going Christmas shopping this morning. I told her to have fun. No way am I headed to the mall the day before Christmas Eve. [-X did that last year and it was a nightmare...

equinus · December 2014

@gutsymama‌ love the Charlie Brown tree, sorry about your stressful visit. There's no place like home.

@caffienerain‌ sorry about your DH, maybe he can share a pain pill?

@kaylakim‌ yes it's still humid here (Tampa area) yesterday it was in the upper 70s. Cold front should be coming through on Christmas though!

I think I am ready to finally tackle some cards, still have more wrapping and shopping to do. Somehow I arranged for Christmas dinner at my house, 19 people including the kids, yikes. I'm really hoping the cleaners come today, haven't heard from them yet though.

gutsymama · December 2014

grapeskittles4lyfe · December 2014

Stacey099 said:
@lancomechica‌ and @amparo1981‌ are gonna be sad

Yeah, my butt-wriggling is all talk and no walk. But what excuse does lancome have?

LauraB1016 · December 2014

@gustymama Love your tree! (and your house!)

>:D<

Last day of work until next year. I have a feeling that I will be working late to get everything done......

grapeskittles4lyfe · December 2014

Audrey1787 said:

I just need to get through today at work. Almost no one will be there and I'm leaving early. I got 2 board books for dd for Christmas, which seemed perfectly normal and reasonable to me. I got a new toothbrush, puffs, and little stuffed animal for her stocking too. Seeing how much other people buy for their kids is making me insecure. Like I'm not doing enough for her, but its more than enough. I need to get over it.

Feli's getting a doll from us because she didn't have one before and I saw how much she loves one they have at DC. Other than that, all presents she might get are from family/friends, because I buy so much for her throughout the year anyway.
She will, however, unpack ALL our presents. So if she's not happy with her Banana Republic polo shirts, tough titties.

Altima80 · December 2014

Morning ladies! I'm trying to get through the 13 pager from yesterday but wanted to pop in here too. :-h

I would give almost anything to get rid of this stomach bug and morning sickness. It's a horrible combination. I do not remember morning sickness being this bad with DS. Never.

@gutsymama I love your tree!

I feel kinda bad...I haven't bought DS a single xmas present. But really, does a kid neeeeed that many toys?? I mean, once he understands, mommy and daddy and santa will get him some gifts but right now I just don't see the point. He's getting soooo much from his relatives already. I don't have a list either like @reallylongusername. I can't think of anything DS wants or needs, honestly.

Sorry to cut this short...I need to go barf.

8-X

grapeskittles4lyfe · December 2014

@gutsymama - how are you and your sister related? Did you generously give her all your high maintenance and keep none for yourself?

@caffeinerain (did I spell that right? No tagging in browser): hugs! Hope it's nothing too serious for your DH!

@queenbone - another shameless book buyer here. Although I don't wait until Christmas. I give her the books as soon as I get in the door.

@eaglewife - I think we'll go with the same color. Just put in the order

@mrsgiantpenis you're right, that smiley IS awesome (see above)

hugs to all who might need them!

theuntaggablek · December 2014

@gutsymama I know you are super smart. Hence, I am a bit sheepish to point out that your use of "helpful" to describe your sister is entirely misplaced. Please omit and substitute a more accurate adjective. Should you be having a hard time with thesaurus, lmk I could suggest a few.

@lizabethann06‌ I love the box.

@caffienerain‌ sorry bout the hubs.

Also @gutsymama Love the tree.

theuntaggablek · December 2014

Oh and @Audrey1787‌ You are a wise and thoughtful mama. Many are overcompensating. Love and food and books = great Christmas at 18 months.

giraffeluvspi · December 2014

Page 1: @gutsymama and @caffeinerain >:D<

atlvol · December 2014

My ILs just brought down my SILs toy kitchen down from the attic for him to play with until Santa comes. He LOVES it!

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