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November 2014 Moms
ssstephanie214
member
Stupid Things People Say & Do to new moms and babies.
ssstephanie214
member
These threads sustain my life and we haven't had one in a while. Please share, with all the holidays happening/coming up I'm sure you all have one or two!
I don't like when people point out how the baby scratched her face. Like...you don't think I know or feel bad? You try to file her freakin nails.
Just kidding, don't try.
BABY GIRL, 11-11-14
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Stupid Things People Say & Do to new moms and babies.
Also, I feel like everyone insists on telling me that my child is hungry when I know she isn't. Everytime someone picks her up theyre like"oh shes hungry" & will insist that I feed her - INCLUDING DH!
2) MIL telling me that the only reason BF is hard is because I'm thinking about it too much
3) People stopping by and expecting me to provide dinner
4) People telling me I am spoiling DS by feeding him whenever he cries for milk. I shit you not.
People mean well, but they don't think before saying/doing things.
Yes people mean well, but it's hard to keep that in mind especially in the moment.
family/friends say "just leave the baby with me and go do your thing" .... i wish it was that easy. I gotta make a bottle, show you how to warm it, burp her, change her, where the diapers are, remind you she can't sleep with a blanket, no she won't be cold without a blanket. Maybe a half hour later I'm ready to leave and then I'm just in a terrible mood.
My favorite was when my MIL was here visiting and baby and I were sleeping so she took it upon herself to start scrubbing my stove, so I got up and walked in the kitchen with DD and she saw us took the baby and handed me the scrubber and said "I'll let you finish scrubbing the stove" ummm I don't care if my stove is clean... She also did this with moping.. Again don't care!!
ET 9/10 - transferred 1 perfect 5AA blast
7dp5dt BFP ~~ Beta on 9/19 - 77.4 Beta #2 on 9/21 - 357
Low heartbeat on 10/7 86, lower heartbeat on 10/11 76, no heartbeat 10/14/13. D&C 10/15/13
Tests revealed MTHFR c677t mutation, put on Folgard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FET #1 1/6/14 - 4BB blast - BFN
BFP#4 3/17/14 - rainbow Baby BOY arrived 11/10/14 !!
DX: Uterine Septum - Resection 9/5/13 || MTHFR Hetero A1298C || My Chart
My mom is also pissing me off in that she has been asking me since before LO was even born if we will have a second child and what the timing for that will be. Geez woman can we concentrate on the first one for awhile before worrying about another!
My H aunt txt me THE DAY AFTER we got home from the hospital "want me to come sit with the baby so you two can grab coffee?" Uhhh....no.
Also agree w/ the annoying texts. "Do you guys need anything?"... Sure! How about a maid & a big bottle of wine?
It's twin girls!! Born on 11-2-14!
I love how most of these are about our ILs
TTC since Sept 2011, Unexplained IF
Oct 12 - Jan 14: 3 clomid/TI cycles, 2 hysteroscopies, 2 IUIs, 1 BFP (MMC @ 12w), 2 more IUIs
Feb 14: Gonal-f + IUI #5 = BFP! (EDD 11/4/14)
Baby boy arrived 11/13/14!
Do you love her?
Will you sell her?
Can we take her? We might bring her back to visit.
Go ahead and take a shower, I'll try not to kidnap her.
She should be here with us, I miss her too much.
You should ask her doctor about her eating all the time like that. It's not normal.
(Third day home from hospital) Go out to dinner & see a movie, you need a break. I can give the baby a little water in a bottle.
(Only a MIL can say) You couldn't have had that baby if it wasn't for me, so she is half mine.
:-w
eta: the first several would have been a lot easier to blow off if they weren't mentioned repeatedly. Kind of like how I was told I was being stingy with the baby every time we saw each other ... the entire time I was pregnant.
Also visitors that don't get that you are not in the mood to visit. My sisters-in-law were here during a cluster feeding from hell/shrieking session and they kept sticking around because they wanted to hold him. I kept telling them it wasn't going to happen and then eventually kicked then out. I am amazed by how many people will just sit and talk to you like nothing is happening while your baby is screaming bloody murder and you are trying to get him to latch.
She is dead set on having the baby outside as much as possible.
She has flat out told my mom that she couldn't do things with the baby. Jealous, much?
She brought her dog over to our house when the baby was only a week old, knowing how rough it plays with our dog, and then yelled at our dog for playing and trying to keep their dog away from the baby.
She got mad when we told her that her elderly parents could not stay at our house over thanksgiving (the baby was 2 weeks old). I mean, I am sleep deprived, recovering from labor, still figuring out breastfeeding, but sure-I can play hostess to old people.
October Challenge: How I feel about the 3rd trimester:
Throwback: Hubby and I on our first date (Nov 2007), and then again on our wedding day (Nov 2012)
1. "I had a friend who had trouble breastfeeding... I told her yadda yadda yadda..." This woman gave up BFing after 2 days, you seem like the perfect role model to be giving advice! Thanks but I wasn't asking you anyway!
2. Anytime she helps me change his diaper she ALWAYS talks about his penis. "You have such a nice looking penis!" "Soon you'll be discovering your penis." "You know you need to call it by the correct name- penis not pee pee or something silly like that."
Why are you obsessed?
3. "Oh I'm sure you can't fit into any of these jeans right now. Are any a size 10?" No! They are actually size 6s, so you can't borrow any of my jeans!
I guess we could all just go on and on!!!
I mentioned to DH the other day that I'm frustrated with only having 3 pairs of jeans that fit. He told me I need to exercise. Exactly when am I supposed to do this? Same thing with mentioning that my knees hurt when I try to kneel down. "You should exercise." He's so lucky he's not here or he would be assaulted. No jury would convict me.
And I know they mean well, but all the people who say "How do you do it?" when they find out DH isn't here. It's really really annoying to hear it over and over from the same people every time I try to go to a playdate for DD2. All I can think of to say is "You gotta do what you gotta do." I feel like a broken record.
Mo 11/4/14
Wait, What?!? - EDD 11/1/19
Nurse: Why is that baby crying?
Me: She's tired. She's been up for over an hour and she wants to go to sleep.
Nurse: Oh, is she hungry?
Me: No, I just nursed and she ate. She's tired.
Nurse: Well if she's hungry, we have formula in the back.
Me: ::eye roll::
There were so many underlining things wrong with that exchange.
Well, he's six weeks old. So, pretty crappy tbh. But it would be weird if he was sleeping 8-10 hours per night so why do people act like he should be?
I also hate the question "is he a good baby?" Yes, he's a good baby- but he does fuss at times. He's a baby FFS! What is a "good baby" anyway? I may be overly sensitive to this because I had colic as a baby and my parents have never let me live it down.
Wow, wish I had thought of that!
And again the question about why she isn't sleeping more. Ummmm because she's FIVE WEEKS OLD!!
1) when we have seen her so far with LO (once in hospital, twice at her house) she WILL NOT let anyone else hold him the mi b utes we walk in the door including myself and dh.
2) Noone else is allowed to change his diaper (that would involve someone else holding him)
3) I was selfish for taking him wheb he was hungry to a backroom to feed him. She proceeded to come in the room that I shut the door to within 60 seconds. LO wasn't even latched yet, shield was not on nipple, boob apron was thankfully on though. Her comment, oh it doesn't bother me, I'm a nurse. Ok.......
4) the third visit... I had started pumping bottles for dh (yes I agree this is exhausting) so that he could have bonding time with LO agrees he went back to work within days unfortunately. We knew he was going to want to feed while at MILs house and I specifically told him he was to feed him and not her (it was LOs second bottle ever). MIL proceeded to yell at him (while holding LO) that he was NOT going to feed LO because she was going to feed LO. Oh if looks could kill. Luckily dh spoke first before I could open my mouth and she quickly handed LO over after seeing my face.
5) breastfeeding must be working for you, all your baby weight is almost gone.... I wish it had worked for me...
6) sends dh a video of all the presents she got LO for Christmas and specifically says to make sure we tell everyone so no one copies HER presents. Ummm I think he'll need more than one pacifier and the car mirror is great but we do have 2 cars.... some duplicates are ok.
7) she's THE grandma and all LOs features come from her side of the family (FIL has never been in pic since I've known my husband) and anytime I mention my parents (who have been married for 25 years and she resents it) she roles her eyes and changes the subject.
8) she is pissed that she actually has to coom for Christmas because... how will she hold lo? Ummm you're not. Mommy or daddy or aunt or uncle will be, it's his first christmas, you're not monopolizing my child.
9) as soon as she picks him up.. "oh he's hungry. He feels these large boobies and now he's hungry. Babies always get hungry when I hold then because my boobs are so large. Sorry baby, these jugs are empty." Ps... he wasn't hungry.
I'm probably overly sensitive due to sleep deprivation but luckily, other than the bottle look, I haven't said anything yet. I just sit in the corner and nod my head. I haven't mentioned my reservations to dh though and he said he will be "handling" it at Christmas....