How can I make my 5 week old sleep on his own?

Bray111314 · December 2014

The only way my LO falls asleep is either on someone's chest or rocking. When we put him in the bassinet he wakes up& wants to be held again. How do I break that or is it too late?

deevaswani · December 2014

I think that's very normal. A newborn can't soothe themself. They've been in your womb all their life constantly having the held/rocking feeling. It takes time for them to get used to falling asleep without any motion.

My LO just turned 6 weeks old. She falls asleep in my arms and I put her down once she's in deep sleep. During the day, she stays asleep but for some reason it always takes several tries at night (I put her down but she wakes within minutes so I have to start over).

Some of my tricks to get her to stay asleep:
- offer her milk when she wakes immediately (75% of the time she will fall into deeper sleep at the boob or bottle...I'm thinking food coma)
- when I put her down, I keep one hand under her head and the other firmly on her body. I hold that way for a minute or two and then slowly retreat. I find she doesn't stir herself awake that way and also my hands helps warm the sheet under her head so she isn't startled by the change in temperature.
- if she's over tired, a pacifier will help soothe her as I've found she has a greater need to suck when she's very tired.

Other tips I've heard/read about include white noise and swaddling. Neither work for my LO. She tends to get more worked up trying to fight her way out of the swaddle and white noise has made no difference.

I completely understand how tiring this phase can be...right there with you. But it does pass...know from first hand experience w my older son who is now 5. Once they're 4-9 months, you can start to put them down drowsy and train them to self soothe. But any younger is too soon for a helpless little newborn whose whole world has been turned upside down going from a cozy womb they're used to for 40 weeks to all of a sudden being outside.

Good luck

leela02 · December 2014

Swaddling, pacifier, Rock n Play, and feeding all work for my LO. Make sure he is full 'cause some babies tend to fall asleep at the boob/bottle before they're satisfied. White noise seems to make no difference for my LO but it's something you can try (run the vacuum cleaner near him and see if it helps).

At this stage you just have to try various things to find out what works. It's totally normal for 5 week old babies to need soothing.

deevaswani · December 2014

Oh one more thing, try burping again. Sometimes it's just a little gas bubble that's stuck that keeps LO from deep sleep.

T&JCox · December 2014

Thanks, I needed to hear this. Felt like we were the only ones!

harmonicbabe26 · December 2014

Short answer: YOU CAN'T. Babies typically don't learn that until much later. I'm on my second child who wants to be held and cuddled 24/7 and I can tell you, the sooner you accept that as a fact of life the less frustrated you're going to be.
I'd say give the kid till about 3mo and then come back to reassess the situation.

lmimms87 · December 2014

Good luck! My 12 week old still needs to be rocked to sleep. But as far as keeping her asleep once putting her down, we've noticed if we rock her for 5-10 mins after she falls asleep she's in a little deeper sleep and will stay asleep. Also swaddling helps her.

skibunny59 · December 2014

We couldn't put DD down for sleep until she was like 4 months. With DS I have had more luck putting him down once he is already asleep in the cradle or swing. Swaddling helps. You can also get a moby or baby k'tan. Both my kids loved to sleep in there and it allowed me to get stuff done. Honestly i don't know how people survive without some type of babywrap or carrier.

Tallulahsmom · December 2014

My second DD would only sleep in her swing. We tried everything. She had a hard time sleeping on my chest and wanted to be cuddled to sleep but couldn't sleep well that way either. I tried swaddling, white noise, elevating her head in the bassinet. She just wasn't comfortable. I had a hard time sleeping with her in the swing. I was worried that her head would tilt and make it hard for her to breathe. I ended up setting alarms for myself to check on her. She was able to move to her co sleeper at 2 months and was sleeping through the night. She was in the crib in her room at 3 months. The first three months are hard. You just have to try not to think about how sleepy you are and put one foot in front of the other. I was like a zombie. It will pass and you will move in to the next dilemma. Good Luck!

jcom49 · December 2014

My lo was the exact same way for almost 2 wks. I think it might have had to do with a wonder week and growth spurt combination.The growth spurt ended and he's back to not having to be constantly held. Something that did work for me thoughwas keeping his ttemperature constant. So the warmth he felt from my body heat I would make sure it stayes that way when I put him down....so he wouldn't notice I wasn't there amymore. And if he did wake up, trying to keep out of his eye sight. Hth

jj0313 · December 2014

@aditigirl‌ what jerky comments you make. You're "disheartened" that a FTM of a 5 week old would be affected by the lack of sleep and come on a forum asking if there is anything she can do to make things easier?? Get off your high horse and go back to lovingly sacrificing your every need and want for your newborn-it's obvious you're better at this than anyone else struggling.

I could handle the snotty comments when everyone was pregnant but CANNOT handle snotty comments to a mother of a five week old that is struggling.

Op-good luck. We are all in this together.

PrimRoseMama · December 2014

Sleep deprivation is brutal. No joke. However, it's unreasonable to expect a 5 week old to sleep alone or self soothe in any way. Their brains are wired that way & are not developed enough to be able to settle themselves. They won't be ready for that for quite some time.

There really isn't much to help, I'm sorry to say. This is part of having a newborn.

laxin31 · December 2014

We found wrapping my son ( 10 weeks) in 2 muslin wraps, music or a womb bear worked great. But we also have him in the rock and play because of the vibrations. Also having him on a full belly. I have had the ability to get good sleep other than the growth spurts.

bnm145 · January 2015

ok so...Im a first time mom and lord knows there are so many things I have left to learn... But my sister in law recommended a book to me when our little girl was going through the same thing at 5 weeks. She said she couldn't believe she had forgotten to tell me about it sooner. But it has several techniques and schedules. No lie a week and a half after following their schedule our little girl was sleeping all night. I was a skeptic but I felt desperate for sleep. Now I tell everyone about it. I'm not getting anything from saying this I just want to help. It goes over so much. I tried to find it at our local library to read it and look at the schedule without buying it. But.... of course they didn't have it so I bought it from amazon and read it on my phone. Ha desperate times call for desperate measures.... Anyways the book is called moms on call. They try to recommend their specific swaddle but we did not do that. They do mention to only swaddle until they are 3 months old and so did our pediatrician. So like I mentioned before our little girl was sleeping through the night and we were so scared to take her out of the swaddle and start all over again. So we saw an episode of shark tank where they mentioned the transition from the swaddle with the zipadee zip. But it was expensive costing almost $50 with shipping so I found a girl that makes something that does the exact same thing but is cheaper and has cuter fabric. She has an etsy account now and you can even it get monogrammed unlike the zipadee zip. If you go to etsy she is under created4her. We are bargain shoppers at our house lol... anyways it worked like a charm for our little one and now she is moving all over the place while asleep but staying asleep because of the resistance the sleeper gives her! I hope this helps.... Again I in no way an expert and this is only my first baby but it worked for us so maybe it'll help you.

brittanytoal · January 2015

bnm145 · January 2015

ok clearly these forums aren't for me... I didn't mean to upset anyone. I was simply trying to help and tell her what worked for us. This is our first experience as parents and I wasn't saying everyone should follow the schedule. But this was awesome for us. When I say schedule I don't mean follow it exactly but it gave us a base to work around and it had our little one knowing what to expect and a routine. Im not getting anything by telling people about this... I have no clue who even wrote the book and honestly I would give anyone the schedule who asked for it so they didn't have to buy the book. And the sleeer can be bought from zipadeezip.com or other etsy accounts thats just where we got ours and it worked so I thought it would be nice to send people there. Im sorry if you took offense to any of what I said and for anyone out there who is looking for a routine for their baby and would like to private message me I'd be glad to share with you what the book said. Thanks

andreamonistere · January 2015

I've read that book also and I thought it was great. I really used it strictly for the schedules. Wish I had known someone to ask for them. ha

vv101010 · January 2015

My LO is the same way. During the day for naps I still hold her and use my travel neck pillow if I want to sleep too. At night a rock n play is what saved me. It's still random lengths of sleep 1-3hrs at a time (LO is 7wks) but then she'll get up for a diaper change...eat...I wait 20minutes for a deep sleep then pop her back in the RNP on vibrate! My LO definitely needs noise going on whether it's a white noise machine or tv. I also keep night time quiet and all about changing diapers, eating, and sleeping.

Hilary232 · January 2015

I am in a similar situation. My son is almost 5 weeks and has only had a few good nights sleeping in the bassinet. The past few nights he will only sleep (or pretend to sleep) in the bassinet for up to a half hour without starting to fuss and cry. Usually I will feed him if it's been at least an hour since he last ate or my husband will get up to rock him and after 20 minutes or so we will try to put him back down. 5-30 minutes later he is crying again. He will sleep in our arms or on our chest, but once we try to move him so we can get some sleep, he scares himself awake. I don't think it helps that he is a little colicky too. I am breastfeeding and when he gets really upset he will start to eat and then rip my nipple out of his mouth. So not only am I sleep deprived but my breasts are killing me!

He has been eating every hour to three hours, but the longer stretches are usually during the day. We also have a mamaroo that he really enjoys sleeping in during the day but not so much at night. I've heard nothing but good things about the rock n play but I don't know if we should get one if we have a mamaroo already.

leela02 · January 2015

Hilary232 said:

I am in a similar situation. My son is almost 5 weeks and has only had a few good nights sleeping in the bassinet. The past few nights he will only sleep (or pretend to sleep) in the bassinet for up to a half hour without starting to fuss and cry. Usually I will feed him if it's been at least an hour since he last ate or my husband will get up to rock him and after 20 minutes or so we will try to put him back down. 5-30 minutes later he is crying again. He will sleep in our arms or on our chest, but once we try to move him so we can get some sleep, he scares himself awake. I don't think it helps that he is a little colicky too. I am breastfeeding and when he gets really upset he will start to eat and then rip my nipple out of his mouth. So not only am I sleep deprived but my breasts are killing me! He has been eating every hour to three hours, but the longer stretches are usually during the day. We also have a mamaroo that he really enjoys sleeping in during the day but not so much at night. I've heard nothing but good things about the rock n play but I don't know if we should get one if we have a mamaroo already.

That kind of sounds like he has his days and nights reversed. Also maybe sometimes he needs to eat sooner than 1 hr after a feeding. With my DD if she is hungry no amount of rocking is going to help her stay in bed. I thought at the newborn age it's recommended to feed on demand and not watch the clock. I know it's tough with BFing.

The mamaroo and RnP seem really different. The parents I know who have a mamaroo use it more like a bouncer. The RnP is more like a bassinet that's inclined. The RnP isn't that expensive so if you have the space, it wouldn't cost too much to try it. My DD sleeps great in hers.

Hopefully you LO is just going through a fussy/clingy growth spurt that will end soon. Hope it gets better soon!

jaymee1021 · January 2015

I think it just depends on the baby, all are different. Our LO (6wks) we lay down drowsy, swaddled and with white noise on and he falls asleep within minutes. We of course have our nights that I rock him but he does really well with no fuss most nights. I try to only use his bed for night time and do naps in swing or with me. Good luck! This no sleep thing catches up with us pretty quick!

anxiousmommy85 · January 2015

One thing my dh and I have noticed with our three is that they stay in bed/asleep much better if he is the one to lay them down. We think this is because mine were all bf'ed and didn't want the food supply getting too far away (8, 9, and 10 lbs respectively at birth, mine have all been big eaters). Something to consider if you're also bf'ing. As for getting them to sleep, find what works for you guys. There's no right or wrong method to mommyhood so long as you're caring for, nurturing, and protecting your child.

cls78 · February 2015

Get the rock n play with auto rock and vibration!!

PrimRoseMama · February 2015

At this stage it's unreasonable to expect a 5-6 week old to be able to "learn it's bedtime" or self soothe at all . Their brains are simply not developed enough to do so. This is the "fourth trimester". There is no need to be in such a rush. You'll only frustrate yourself trying to force things that are not physically/emotionally/developmentally possible.

allie8454 · February 2015

My 5 week old also will not sleep or nap unless he is constantly being held. Regardless of how hard he seems to be asleep, fed, dry and swaddled, within minutes of putting him down he starts fussing and then full on screaming. At this point he will only sleep in our arms or on my chest and I getting very little sleep because I am paranoid he will slip/fall off or somehow smother himself while I sleep. During the day I can wear him in a wrap when I need to get things done around the house but otherwise I feel like I'm making a permanent dent in the couch and with all this snow I am getting cabin fever and feeling a little smothered. I'm hoping this will pass soon and plan on starting to pump 1-2 times/day so my husband can start doing some feedings and give me a little sanity break.

elm2110 · February 2015

It takes babies a while to fall into deep sleep, mine takes about 20 minutes. If I try to put her down before she's in deep sleep, she will wake up again. My DS is now 9 weeks and what works for us is side lying breastfeeding. I make a cosleeping safe "nest" and feed her till she falls asleep. Then, once she's in her deep sleep, I can easily steal away and she doesn't even notice. I've only started doing this this last few weeks. Before then, I'd just get really comfy and try to sleep when she did.

GillianB32 · February 2015

Lots of wisdom here! Sharing my two cents))) We had similar problems. Here is what has helped. We started at day time for naps:

- introduce pillow on lap. Place your kid on top, rock pillow and the kid. It is not comfortable but we only had to do this for a couple of days.

- next few days: less and less rocking, introduce bum patting instead

- next day: little one falls asleep on the pillow which is now stationery and flat on my lap. I pat little one to sleep

- next day transfer pillow in mattress. The kid is no longer on top of me!Place the baby on top and pat to sleep.

I hope this will help you. Good luck and keep us posted!

BBoyd2013 · February 2015

allie8454 said:
My 5 week old also will not sleep or nap unless he is constantly being held. Regardless of how hard he seems to be asleep, fed, dry and swaddled, within minutes of putting him down he starts fussing and then full on screaming. At this point he will only sleep in our arms or on my chest and I getting very little sleep because I am paranoid he will slip/fall off or somehow smother himself while I sleep. During the day I can wear him in a wrap when I need to get things done around the house but otherwise I feel like I'm making a permanent dent in the couch and with all this snow I am getting cabin fever and feeling a little smothered. I'm hoping this will pass soon and plan on starting to pump 1-2 times/day so my husband can start doing some feedings and give me a little sanity break.

This is my story, word for word! I'm so glad I'm not alone!

klhpensil · March 2015

Actually, I think they can sense that you want to put them down. I've found that the more relaxed I am, the easier it is to slip away when they're asleep. When I'm really anxious to get up and go do something else, baby seems to be extra clingy. Give LO as much attention and love as you can. Forget about other things on your to-do list when you're with him. Make him feel that there is nothing else you have, or want, to do. This may make him feel a little more secure and maybe sleep on his own a little... hopefully. It's just one of many things. I hope it helps a little.

klhpensil · March 2015

Also, amen to more daddy time! In fact, have him (or grandma or whoever you trust) take care of baby for several hours in a different room so you can take a nice, long nap. It makes a huge difference! Either pump milk or have him bring baby in ONLY to nurse, then have them leave again. This really helped for me because I could actually rest completely knowing baby was safe and cared for. My husband did it once at 2 weeks, and I felt like a new person!

sugarpeas79 · March 2015

We do the pillow trick too. I breastfeed dd to sleep on a firm pillow on my lap, then transfer pillow and sleeping baby to the co sleeper. As long as she is in a deep enough sleep when I move her she usually stays asleep.

How can I make my 5 week old sleep on his own?

Re: How can I make my 5 week old sleep on his own?

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