Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Maybe Joleisa
member
Re: * * TTCAL check-in 12/16/14 * *
@MaybeJoleisa, thanks for asking about my pooch! He's actually doing extremely well. When we took him our regular vet (after he had been diagnosed with lymphoma by the emergency clinic vet and we were later told by a local university that the slides they reviewed actually showed no lymphoma) he said that it could actually be lymphoma but there were several things that made him feel like it wasn't, including the fact that the university hadn't found lymphoma in the good sized sample they reviewed. His best guess was an infection somewhere that he couldn't locate but that my dog's immune system was freaking out about, so he gave us a 10 day dose of antibiotics to see what happened. He said if that's what it was, the huge lymph node should start shrinking almost immediately, and if it didn't, we would explore the lymphoma angle again. Well thankfully it did start shrinking right away! It's still not gone but it's more grape sized or so now instead of the nearly baseball size it was before. So it looks like we're going to get to keep our dog around for a while longer! How if your dog doing? Still hanging in there obviously.
And in other good news this Christmas season....
***BFP WARNING***
I got a BFP this past weekend! I'm getting my second round of betas today and am hoping they more than doubled to help me feel a little better about my lousy progesterone. My progesterone was significantly less than my previous 2 pregnancies that made it out of the first trimester.
I will of course be stalking this check-in to watch for news on all of you ladies but I'm really hopeful I won't be participating myself for a long long time (like maybe if we decide to try for another rainbow after this rainbow hopefully arrives healthy).
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
Hi @maybejoleisa..thank you for running the check-in. Not PUPO yet...I was afraid people would read it like that...I meant Dec2014...my transfer is on Friday though so soon enough!!! (so sorry your dog is not doing well....big ((hugs))
@cheesypeas- so glad your dog is feeling better and the spot is shrinking.
where are you in your ttcal journey? FET1....transfer on Friday...eeeeeekkkkk!
QOTW: Four Christmases (sp?)...we watch it every Christmas and it gets me everytime! I love Vince Vaughn.
open topic: this week just feels crazy....I can not believe our transfer is about to happen...I can't believe I will know if this worked or not in less than 2 weeks...there is just so much riding on this, this is pretty much our last shot with my eggs so it makes me want to puke just thinking about all we have to lose.
8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)
-5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)
11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13
8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF
IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties
12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!! One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15
Everyone Welcome.
Today is 6 months since we lost our babies. I'm glad we didn't schedule the transfer for today.
@Manada and I sang sad songs on the way to work this morning. It felt like a tribute to Tavin and Casey.
I've been doing PIO since Tuesday. @Manada is doing my shots and is doing a great job. I know that in a few days it will be much less comfortable, though, as we go back into the same spots over and over.
Our clinic calls the day before to let you know what time your transfer is and I'm hoping they call sooner rather than later today so that I don't have to wonder. Also I have my acupuncturist booked but not for a specific time yet since I need to know what time the transfer is.
It's probably a good thing that work is busy right now. Otherwise I would just be in my head all day about the transfer.
@CheesyPeas , congrats on the BFP. I hope everything goes smoothly from her on.
QOTW: St Vincent and Big Hero 6. Both are very enjoyable and funny movies.
We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.
Our IUIs
with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.
Our IVFs:
IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response
IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
1st ultrasound (3/6 6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm.
***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***
FET #1 December 2014
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)
-5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)
11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13
8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF
IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties
12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!! One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15
Everyone Welcome.
TTC since 10/2010
IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
@CheesyPeas - congratulations! So happy for you!
@healz413 @manada @bunnybun4 - hope the transfers went well! Have everything crossed for you all!
@Maybe Joleisa - I can take over the check-in for you. I can't remember, is there a certain day of the week that you would usually post?
AFM;
Where are you in your TTCAL journey? Technically cycle 5, although second cycle TTA. Next month will be our fourth month actively TTCAL.
Do you have any relevant upcoming appointments? Pre-conception appointment with new OBGYN at the end of January.
QOTW: "They" say laughing during the 2ww is a good thing. What funny movie(s) have you watched recently? I honestly can't think of one, which is more because we don't get out to the movies often than because we haven't seen anything good.
Open Topic: What is on your mind this week? Surviving Christmas. I am on vacation from work all week so that is nice. At my ILs this weekend, but will be headed home soon and hoping to get some time to relax this next week. Hoping to enjoy the holiday this year as compared to last year, but we'll see.
Wishing all of you ladies good luck!! Hope to get some good reports in the coming weeks!!
Where are you in your TTCAL journey? This is our 2nd cycle TTCAL. According to my immature charts (I do OPK's but haven't started temping yet), I should be fertile this week and we will be on vacation. Praying we get it done this week
Do you have any relevant upcoming appointments? No appointments.
QOTW: "They" say laughing during the 2ww is a good thing. What funny movie(s) have you watched recently? I have not seen any movies as of late - I have been binge watching True Blood....
Open Topic: What is on your mind this week? Getting through the holidays and the days that will follow very closely behind. As it gets closer, the emotions are running more and more. I am looking forward to the vacation over Christmas as it will just be DH and I - no pressure from family or condolences. If I can keep my sanity after the first of the year, I will mark it as a win.
@jenn.schott: Best of luck "relaxing" on vacation.
TTC since 10/2010
IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)