People commenting on how HUGE i am...

mrsgunsta · December 2014

My favorite is when MEN comment. Like, seriously, when's the last time YOUR body grew a whole new person? You're just fat you asshat. Or they say something like, "Wow, you look tired today." Why yes, it is quite exhausting CREATING A F*&%#% HUMAN. Thanks, Captain Obvious.

But, I digress. Preggo rage- the struggle is real, ya'll.

breekehoe · December 2014

I've been asked about six times whether I'm carrying twins. No...no, I'm not. But I've come to realize how little people seem to understand how pregnancies are different, and I try not to feel insulted by others' ignorance.

ktplusbby · December 2014

I too am appalled by people and their audacity to comment on my weight.. I've always had eating disorders and have been very rough on my body since my freshman year in high school. My coworkers like to say how big I am and how hard it will be to lose the weight and that I'll never be small again. I've gotten so far "your baby is going to be huge" and when someone is only commenting on my belly another woman will pipe up and say "oh no, look at her backside." I was around 120lbs at 5'4" pre-pregnancy and struggling enough with that..well I've gained about 30lbs now being at 23 weeks (24 weeks tomorrow!). This is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with when it comes to body image. I try so hard to just keep my head up and notbe pulled down by my own backwards mind. I'm a FTM and this is all new to me and I'm beyond estatic to be giving and to be able to give my baby everything she needs.

Well the best comment by far now happened just the other day when a coworker came up to me and said "I've seen you really pop and look pregnant in the past two weeks.. your face and neck are getting fat." Talk about devastating... I'm pretty shy so of course I said nothing, but when my mom picked me up after work I lost it. I cried hysterically. Que my mother entering "mama bear" mode.. She threatened to go into my work the next time anyone said anything to me about my weight.. She said along the lines of "I'll be damned if I have to protect you while you are carrying my granddaughter, I've protected your body image for years and have tried to build you up so high".. she also mentioned that she was afraid I wouldn't be able to carry a child because of the damage I've done to my body. She has seen me at my lowest of 103lbs.

She also brought up the fact to only listen to the people who know me and know my past and who have been so encouraging throughout and telling me how beautiful I am and that I should never drop my weight after baby is here.. The best was my dad.. he hadn't seen me in a few weeks since getting pregnant and I did put on weight pretty quickly and literally almost cried when he saw me because I've never looked so healthy. That nearly broke my heart.

OP you are amazing. You are beautiful. And you are doing a selfless thing for your baby. I wish I could hug you. People are dicks. Tell then to fuck off. Middle fingers blazing.

ktplusbby · December 2014

and I would like to add that FAT should not be used when describing a pregnant woman. That is such a disgusting word and should not be associated with such a beautiful time in a woman's life.

I hate people and their lack of encouraging words.

jk3610 · December 2014

Swoon13 said:
This makes me rageful for you! I'm so sorry. =(

Something to consider though. If these are co-workers making these comments? That's an ENORMOUS HR violation. It is never ever ever okay for a co-worker to talk about your body. I would go to HR and file complaints about every single one of them. Maybe if they get a good verbal smackdown from HR they will learn that they are crossing a boundary that they have ZERO right to cross.

People are so incredibly shitty. I am getting close to going to HR myself. It is hard when it's co-workers and you worry about somehow getting in trouble for complaining. (irrational, i know) Plus, our HR exec isn't super competent.

ktplusbby · December 2014

ugh I just don't want to cause drama! I would love to just punch them in the throat and move on. I'm afraid of the backlash of saying anything back to anyone let alone reporting them.. I still have a bit to go so I'm actually going to try giving off the "I will smack you" vibe and see where that gets me..

ktplusbby · December 2014

jk3610 said:

Swoon13 said:
This makes me rageful for you! I'm so sorry. =(

Something to consider though. If these are co-workers making these comments? That's an ENORMOUS HR violation. It is never ever ever okay for a co-worker to talk about your body. I would go to HR and file complaints about every single one of them. Maybe if they get a good verbal smackdown from HR they will learn that they are crossing a boundary that they have ZERO right to cross.

People are so incredibly shitty. I am getting close to going to HR myself. It is hard when it's co-workers and you worry about somehow getting in trouble for complaining. (irrational, i know) Plus, our HR exec isn't super competent.

absolutely! I feel like I could be reprimanded somehow about complaining and then all the mean mugs I would get from the person and their posse at work is just a no go in my book:(

jk3610 · December 2014

Swoon13 said:

jk3610 said:

Swoon13 said:
This makes me rageful for you! I'm so sorry. =(

Something to consider though. If these are co-workers making these comments? That's an ENORMOUS HR violation. It is never ever ever okay for a co-worker to talk about your body. I would go to HR and file complaints about every single one of them. Maybe if they get a good verbal smackdown from HR they will learn that they are crossing a boundary that they have ZERO right to cross.

People are so incredibly shitty. I am getting close to going to HR myself. It is hard when it's co-workers and you worry about somehow getting in trouble for complaining. (irrational, i know) Plus, our HR exec isn't super competent.

Well if it's the first complaint against someone they most likely wouldn't get fired for it. Just an HR 'Come to Jesus' meeting that will embarrass the shit out of them. So /win!

And even if your HR exec is a boob he has protocol to follow for complaints like this. And well if he doesn't do them, you just go over his head. I'm sure his superiors would LOVE to know he can't handle a standard HR violation.

She keeps not even being sure about how much maternity leave I get. She just gave me a number to call. Um....

jk3610 · December 2014

Swoon13 said:

jk3610 said:

Swoon13 said:

jk3610 said:

Swoon13 said:
This makes me rageful for you! I'm so sorry. =(

Something to consider though. If these are co-workers making these comments? That's an ENORMOUS HR violation. It is never ever ever okay for a co-worker to talk about your body. I would go to HR and file complaints about every single one of them. Maybe if they get a good verbal smackdown from HR they will learn that they are crossing a boundary that they have ZERO right to cross.

People are so incredibly shitty. I am getting close to going to HR myself. It is hard when it's co-workers and you worry about somehow getting in trouble for complaining. (irrational, i know) Plus, our HR exec isn't super competent.

Well if it's the first complaint against someone they most likely wouldn't get fired for it. Just an HR 'Come to Jesus' meeting that will embarrass the shit out of them. So /win!

And even if your HR exec is a boob he has protocol to follow for complaints like this. And well if he doesn't do them, you just go over his head. I'm sure his superiors would LOVE to know he can't handle a standard HR violation.

She keeps not even being sure about how much maternity leave I get. She just gave me a number to call. Um....

Oh boy.

Yeah, she's semi-new to the company, but maternity leave information is kind of important...

slipsintothesea · December 2014

I'm so sorry people are being so rude to you! It's amazing how people lose their filters with pregnant woman. At my grandmother's funeral a week ago I had two relatives ask if my doc was concerned about my weight, one referring to me being too small and one referring to me being too heavy. Then another told me not to worry that I would lose the baby weight eventually. Also, my mil keeps asking how much weight I've gained. As much as it stings I try to just brush it off and remind myself my body is doing something amazing. Chin up my my fellow bump sister! You are beautiful and your body is doing something amazing. Also, as my husband reminds me you are pregnant, not fat and screw those jackasses.

topaz7777 · December 2014

I find that a lot of people are kind of fasinated with the whole concept of pregnancy. It's like they don't get it but want to be involved. The belly touching is usually just that curiosity, a life growing inside of there and moving around and they want to be a part of it. I get a lot of comments on how big I am also mostly from people who don't have kids or haven't had one in a very long time. They don't mean it to be mean, it just doesn't sound the same to the person who's body it is.

Anyway, it bothered me a lot more the first pregnancy. This time it isn't so bad. I know it will go away and I'll not be this big forever. I usually say something like "ha, this is nothing, I'm only half way, come back in April, then you'll see huge!" It will get easier. I think what PP's said before is true, people loose their filters around pregnant women. I think they just don't know what to say or do.

pistachio&blush · December 2014

mellinfam said:
My question is how the heck do i get people to shut up? Im too nice to be rude back but idk. Anyone else have this issue? How do you handle the comments?

Everyone will be in this situation in one way or another in life because some people are just plain rude.

My mom always taught me that if someone is bold enough to say something rude to you then it's okay to be bold enough to say something rude in response. Her philosophy is that if their comments or actions give you a headache then you give them a migraine.

So if someone tells me I look like I've gained too much weight then my response is "you do too!" Or "I was noticing you have put on some weight too." You can say that with a smile and in a sweet voice. Ask them how much weight they have gained etc. Make the entire conversation about their body.

Have fun with those types of rude people. Give them a taste of their own medicine. Walk away from the conversation laughing at them instead of crying in your car.

Good luck!

aashleydwalker · December 2014

My planned reaction to people entering my space and touching my belly without permission, is that I plan to reach out at their body and touch them back. Either their belly or their boobs. Either way. Unsolicited and unwanted touching of my body, will get their body touched in an uncomfortable way as well. This is my plan. Luckily and sadly I have not had the chance to use this, but I'm slightly hoping

My SIL was making comments on how lucky their family is with being so skinny - she's made these comments the whole ten years I've been married to her brother- I have never been skinny, I've never been fat, I'm just a tall girl who's curvy, soft, and pudgy. So I hate these comments. She went so far as to mention her other sister in law who had gotten HUGE after getting pregnant and how sad and blah blah. She then looks at me, pauses as she thinks of something to make what she just said somehow better, then tells me that I'm tall so that... helps. I just sat there. Probably with a confused look. Thank SIL, that makes everything better.
Personally I love my baby bump and don't care that everything else is plumping out too, I am just so happy to have this little life with me. Best feeling in the world so far!
(I'll probably tell her she's too skinny the next time she comments on me. Just thought we were sharing our opinions!!)

hillbillywife · December 2014

kendallalasmile said:
and I would like to add that FAT should not be used when describing a pregnant woman. That is such a disgusting word and should not be associated with such a beautiful time in a woman's life.

I hate people and their lack of encouraging words.

While I agree that pregnant women shouldn't be called fat because they aren't fat. They are bigger because they are GROWING something. I disagree with your statement that fat is "such a disgusting word." It's a descriptive word. I am fat. I have fat. I'm not disgusting. Some of us may never lose all the baby weight and if that's the worst thing that happens in our lives then we are pretty damn lucky.

BabyEasttom · December 2014

I'm having the same issue with my coworkers, who are mostly men. I know that they think they're just trying to be polite and acknowledge that their female coworker is pregnant and going through a lot, but it's still ignorant and rude.
I'm not quite plus sized, but I am a curvy girl, so I can empathize somewhat. You deserve better than to let yourself be brought down by ignorant people. Honestly, most people don't think beyond their own noses and when they see a pregnant woman, they just assume that you want advice, whether or not it's good or relevant. Honey, you are beautiful and you deserve respect. You are not just an incubater, you're a human being. At the same time, you choose what gets to you. We cannot control other people's actions, we can only control our own. Be strong and find a mute button somewhere deep down. Focus on how happy this baby makes you.

hillbillywife · December 2014

snowbigdeal said:

hillbillywife said:

kendallalasmile said:
and I would like to add that FAT should not be used when describing a pregnant woman. That is such a disgusting word and should not be associated with such a beautiful time in a woman's life.

I hate people and their lack of encouraging words.
While I agree that pregnant women shouldn't be called fat because they aren't fat. They are bigger because they are GROWING something. I disagree with your statement that fat is "such a disgusting word." It's a descriptive word. I am fat. I have fat. I'm not disgusting. Some of us may never lose all the baby weight and if that's the worst thing that happens in our lives then we are pretty damn lucky.

Have I told you lately that I love you?

Haha. Back at yah girl!

polynomz · December 2014

I dont think people realize how much pregnancy can shake a womans body image...for me at least, its hard to watch my body change so rapidly. Im 22 weeks and have gained 20 lbs. In fact, my OB told me to slow down today. Pre- Pregnancy, i had just reached my goal of a size 5 after struggling for years, gaining it back has made me uneasy, but when I look at my bump in the mirror, or my fiance tells me I look beautiful, it makes things so much better.
I have been lucky to have a family with alot of couthe and havent encountered any unsolicited opinions, but if/when I do, ill moat likely make them feel worse than they made me feel ;P

mrsgunsta · December 2014

I find that keeping my Resting Bitch Face in tact avoids many of these conversations...

MitoRachel · December 2014

@kendallalasmile Thanks for sharing what your parents said. It made me cry! I had different health problems from you, but I also couldn't really gain weight when I was younger and thought I might not ever be healthy enough to have kids. I don't know how I could have been so dense as to not see that the pregnancy weight gain is a beautiful sign of the health we have fought so hard for, but thanks to your parents, I get it now.

ktplusbby · December 2014

MitoRachel said:

@kendallalasmile Thanks for sharing what your parents said. It made me cry! I had different health problems from you, but I also couldn't really gain weight when I was younger and thought I might not ever be healthy enough to have kids. I don't know how I could have been so dense as to not see that the pregnancy weight gain is a beautiful sign of the health we have fought so hard for, but thanks to your parents, I get it now.

I'm really happy they could help someone else too! They try pretty hard to keep me upright and positive especially during this time when sometimes it's pretty overwhelming:]

ktplusbby · December 2014

hillbillywife said:

and I would like to add that FAT should not be used when describing a pregnant woman. That is such a disgusting word and should not be associated with such a beautiful time in a woman's life.

I hate people and their lack of encouraging words.
While I agree that pregnant women shouldn't be called fat because they aren't fat. They are bigger because they are GROWING something. I disagree with your statement that fat is "such a disgusting word." It's a descriptive word. I am fat. I have fat. I'm not disgusting. Some of us may never lose all the baby weight and if that's the worst thing that happens in our lives then we are pretty damn lucky.

Please please please don't think I was calling anyone disgusting.. not my intention whatsoever I swear.. better use of words next time on my part I promise!

hillbillywife · December 2014

kendallalasmile said:

hillbillywife said:

kendallalasmile said:
and I would like to add that FAT should not be used when describing a pregnant woman. That is such a disgusting word and should not be associated with such a beautiful time in a woman's life.

I hate people and their lack of encouraging words.
While I agree that pregnant women shouldn't be called fat because they aren't fat. They are bigger because they are GROWING something. I disagree with your statement that fat is "such a disgusting word." It's a descriptive word. I am fat. I have fat. I'm not disgusting. Some of us may never lose all the baby weight and if that's the worst thing that happens in our lives then we are pretty damn lucky.

Please please please don't think I was calling anyone disgusting.. not my intention whatsoever I swear.. better use of words next time on my part I promise!

I didn't think you were calling me, or anyone disgusting. It's just SO important to change this stereotype that being fat is the worst thing that will happen to you. Positive body image (all the time, not just when pregnant) is something clearly a lot of women struggle with. Women's bodies change after having children, it's just a fact. If you can be comfortable in your skin then you will be so much better off.

I'm not typically such a huge advocate for this, it must be the girl growing in my uterus right now. Chances are she'll not be a super skinny little girl. I just want her to be healthy whether she's a size 2 or a size 20 (as an adult obviously)

ktplusbby · December 2014

hillbillywife said:

hillbillywife said:

and I would like to add that FAT should not be used when describing a pregnant woman. That is such a disgusting word and should not be associated with such a beautiful time in a woman's life.

I hate people and their lack of encouraging words.
While I agree that pregnant women shouldn't be called fat because they aren't fat. They are bigger because they are GROWING something. I disagree with your statement that fat is "such a disgusting word." It's a descriptive word. I am fat. I have fat. I'm not disgusting. Some of us may never lose all the baby weight and if that's the worst thing that happens in our lives then we are pretty damn lucky.

Please please please don't think I was calling anyone disgusting.. not my intention whatsoever I swear.. better use of words next time on my part I promise!
I didn't think you were calling me, or anyone disgusting. It's just SO important to change this stereotype that being fat is the worst thing that will happen to you. Positive body image (all the time, not just when pregnant) is something clearly a lot of women struggle with. Women's bodies change after having children, it's just a fact. If you can be comfortable in your skin then you will be so much better off. I'm not typically such a huge advocate for this, it must be the girl growing in my uterus right now. Chances are she'll not be a super skinny little girl. I just want her to be healthy whether she's a size 2 or a size 20 (as an adult obviously)

I actually really appreciate you saying this.. it reminded me that I have to keep myself in check when it comes to body image (being hard on myself) I am growing a baby girl as well and I really have to keep in mind about what she can and will pick up from me about body image.. I've said this to my DH a lot recently that we have to teach her to have a positive body image and it does start with me.. I really need to start now with keeping myself built up and positive so I can pass that along to her. So thank you for reminding me of this side of things<3

seligonzalez · December 2014

I'm 24 weeks and I just hate people telling me you can't tell that I'm pregnant. I was overweight when I got pregnant but I know my tummy was not as big. My husband and my mother can see how my bump is growing yet everyone else just says you can't even tell. I've gotten people who tell me I don't look pregnant, I just look fat. It makes me sad that I don't have a big bump and I just look fat... So whether your bump is big, or its small, people will always have something to say. Ignore them, in the end they won't be the ones feeling those kicks 24 hours a day

gittybaby · December 2014

I get asked all the time if I'm having twins. Just today a co-worker told me I was going to be a whale before too long. The checkout guy asked me if I was about to pop. People are just dumb. Try to laugh about their ignorance and revel in the fact that you get to wear pants without zippers or buttons!

Modalyn · December 2014

Ive been getting the same comments. People asking if its twins and telling me my belly is huge. I just say i have a short torso and baby has no where else to go but out!

trixchik30 · December 2014

I have battled weight my entire life...so I understand or sensitivity to the comments! Just know you are not alone...my favorite was when my friend's mom said I was probably having a girl because I was getting "wide." She then proceeded to say that girls show up all over while boys just make a basketball. She also made me turn around so she could more closely inspect how "wide" my ass was. At this point I had gained 0 pounds in pregnancy. I wanted to punch her in the face.

kurban627 · December 2014

Whenever someone (typically a high school student) says something about how big I'm getting or is surprised that in pregnant and just thought I was getting fat I look at them and say, "aww, that's just the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me." They get it pretty quickly.

mooreamanda6213 · December 2014

Im sorry you had to go through that. If I was you, I would tell them to fuck off. Be proud of your body. You are growing a whole new little life in there.

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