PgAL check in 12/12/14 — The Bump
Late Term and Child Loss

PgAL check in 12/12/14

Hi ladies.  I hope you and baby have been well this week!  Please feel free to post any questions you may have for each other.  

How far along are you? 

Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?

Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?

QOTW: This one might be a tough one.  How do you plan on telling your rainbow about their brother/sister?  Do you know how you might intend to incorporate their brother/sister into their lives?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Re: PgAL check in 12/12/14

  • How far along are you? 28 weeks

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? NSTs and biophysical checks twice a week now, in addition to cervical checks to make sure baby girl is okay.  I am praying we do not have to deliver her early. 

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Hmmm... I'm anemic now? No biggie though.  On some iron supplements. 

    QOTW: This one might be a tough one.  How do you plan on telling your rainbow about their brother/sister?  Do you know how you might intend to incorporate their brother/sister into their lives? we have pictures of the boys everywhere in our house, and I hope she starts to recognize them at an early age. We plan on telling her she has two brothers who are her guardian angels, and hope as she gets older she will participate in things we do for them - the March for Dimes, donations to the hospital every year, Random Acts of Kindness on their birthday, etc.  At the same time, I don't want her to feel overshadowed by two little boys in heaven.  I guess it is a balancing act, being a mother to babies in heaven and babies on earth.  

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? This is copied from my blog post - yesterday's growth scan: 

    Well, today was the 28 week growth scan.  I admit, I went in optimistic that her head had caught up to the rest of her body.

    I could not be more wrong. 

    Baby C's head circumference went from the 11th percentile down to the 4th percentile this week.  Her BPD (Biparietal Diameter) improved slightly, from the 4th percentile to the 5th percentile.  But her abdomen was the big news - it went from the 33rd percentile to the 10th percentile.  Baby C now qualifies as having IUGR (intrauterine growth restriction).  This usually happens when the placenta does not implant properly.  Shitty luck, again.

    So, the chances of Baby C being a stillborn are increased.  In an effort to catch any problems before something horrible happens, I am being monitored twice a week for NSTs and Biophysical profiles.  If the baby does not perform well on the twice weekly monitoring, she will be delivered early in an effort to save her. 

    The good news? She rocked her NST today.  Her baseline HB is 150.  They look for her HB to raise to at least 160 every time she moves, and they want her to do that at least twice while I am being monitored.  She was monitored for about 15 minutes and she moved and her HB raised over FIFTY times.  The nurses kept walking in asking who was making all that noise!  Just this little bundle of energy over here!  

    If she continues to do well on her monitoring, we won't have to deliver early.  Maybe she is just small.  But every week she keeps getting smaller and smaller (percentile-wise), and that is raising many red flags.  

    Baby girl, hang in there. 
  • ikrystal   Stil praying for you and LO. She seems to being doing well right now.

    Brooke Elizabeth born Feb 17, 2013 grew wings May 9, 2013 @ 11 weeks & 4 days old from SIDS

     

     

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  • @ikrystal‌ - what a tough update. My DS1 also had IUGR, and it can be scary. We also didn't know if he was just small or if something else was wrong. It turned out in our case that my placenta was aging prematurely, but we did make it to 40 weeks. Thinking of you! Praying baby girl is healthy and no further complications show up!
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    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
  • msunshine123msunshine123
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    edited December 2014
    @ikrystal - praying for you and your little girl that things stay okay. So many hugs to you as I can only imagine how you must be feeling. I looked at your blog after your last post - it's wonderful!
  • BrittianyM Thank you for your support 

    stefuge That gives me some hope that you made it to 40 weeks and that DS1 is doing well! Thank you for your support as well.

    msunshine123 Thank you for your support and thank you for checking out the blog!
    stefugeBrittianyM
  • @ikrystal‌ ((Hugs)) I'll be praying for you and baby C.


    How far along are you? 21 weeks, 5 days

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? OB appointment on Wednesday.

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? I'm feeling pretty good now. I just want to eat all the food. All the time.

    QOTW: This one might be a tough one.  How do you plan on telling your rainbow about their brother/sister?  Do you know how you might intend to incorporate their brother/sister into their lives? We have pictures of Nathaniel up in our house. We also have the book that I wrote for DD and our Nathaniel bear and DD talks about him all the time. I plan on continuing our tradition of Nathaniel day, maybe just not every month, but we will be including him in things as much as we can. So he should be a pretty normal part of this baby's life. 

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? My parents have offered to buy us plane tickets for us to visit them this summer in Alaska. It was just brought up yesterday and it is causing me a lot of stress. They need to know soon to get tickets. I feel like I can't plan on something for this summer until after the new baby is here. I want us to go and really appreciate the offer, but they want us to come in June when the new baby is possibly 2 months old. What if I have to have a c-section again? What if this baby doesn't come home either? I'm a little stressed about Christmas right now too so that doesn't help. Maybe I'll just tell them that we can't plan anything right now and wait until January or after Nathaniel's birthday in February to plan anything.
    Abigail Grace 9/7/10
    Nathaniel Willis born sleeping 2/6/14
    Felicity Hope 4/6/15

  • @ikrystal I'm so sorry the update wasn't what you were hoping for. I am so glad to hear baby girl seems to be doing well though, and that she's such a NST overachiever! Keep on kicking butt little one!

  • How far along are you? 4 weeks. 

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? No appointments yet, I may call to schedule something next week for January though. 

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Nope, I feel no different at all yet... other than the feeling of constant fear. 

    QOTW: This one might be a tough one.  How do you plan on telling your rainbow about their brother/sister?  Do you know how you might intend to incorporate their brother/sister into their lives?
    Georgia will always be an open topic of discussion.  I plan on involving her in all of our family traditions, so that when our other child/ren are older, it can be discussed openly but won't come as a surprise.  I actually just ordered a couple of books off Amazon that will help, I think.  "Someone Came Before You" and "My Baby Big Sister". 

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
    I just got my BFP yesterday morning... and it is still VERY early, so I'm really trying not to think too much about anything other than doing everything possible to support the continued growth of our little blastocyst.  It doesn't feel real.  We only had to try to for two months...it took nearly a year to get pregnant with Georgia, so I don't think I expected to be here this soon.  Above all, I'm just so scared.  I'm scared of everything that can go wrong and having my heart broken again.  I don't think I could handle it.  
    [Deleted User]stefugemsunshine123
  • @ikrystal I'm sorry it wasn't the best news but I'm glad to hear she's still kicking butt and they will watch you extra close. I know it's definitely not what you would want but if they do decide she needs to come early, she's already getting close to a good gestation and with the anticipation I'm sure she'd get steroids to help her little lungs.

    @hsabyan‌ welcome! I'm still very early as well and the fear is very real but I'm
    Praying that you have a healthy, uneventful pregnancy.

    How far along are you? 10 weeks!

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Next ultrasound with regular OB on Wednesday the 17th.

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Not really, just pretty sleepy.

    QOTW: This one might be a tough one. How do you plan on telling your rainbow about their brother/sister? Do you know how you might intend to incorporate their brother/sister into their lives? We talk about Mary often and have DS point to her picture, blow kisses, etc. We read the book "Always My Twin" with him often and I plan to continue to talk about her, include her in our family photos, cards everything so DS and this new baby always know she's part of our family.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Just so anxious! It's only been less than 2 weeks since my last ultrasound but I hate not knowing if this baby is still alright. I'm hoping once I am able to use my Doppler, it will calm my fears a bit.
    hsabyanstefuge
  • @dadalou - I think that's a great idea to just tell your parents you can not plan something right now. My parents wanted to plan a big family reunion this summer and wanted to know what time over the summer worked best for everyone. I just told them as much as we would love to be there I honestly cannot commit to anything this summer - it's just too stressful.
    @hsabayan - congratulations!
    @schulme2 - I know what you mean! I hate waiting between appointments and not knowing how things are in there.
    hsabyan
  • How far along are you? 14 weeks

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? appointment in 1 week

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? sickness is getting less and less - so I'm happy about that

    QOTW: This one might be a tough one.  How do you plan on telling your rainbow about their brother/sister?  Do you know how you might intend to incorporate their brother/sister into their lives? We have pictures of our son displayed in our home and plan to tell them with books and just talking with them. We always want our son to be a part of our family. He is our oldest and 1st child.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Just wanting the holidays to be done and wanting to go to my appointment soon so that I can make sure this baby is okay.
  • How far along are you? 14 weeks 5 days

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Next appointment is January 7th, then I'll have my anatomy scan some time 2 weeks-ish after that. 

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Still pretty nauseous a lot of the time. Still very "picky" don't like a lot of things. Although I do feel like maybe I've eaten a little more this week and might have my first weight gain. ;) So far I'm still down 5-6 pounds from where I started the pregnancy. 

    QOTW: This one might be a tough one.  How do you plan on telling your rainbow about their brother/sister?  Do you know how you might intend to incorporate their brother/sister into their lives?
    How far along are you? 

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?

    QOTW: This one might be a tough one.  How do you plan on telling your rainbow about their brother/sister?  Do you know how you might intend to incorporate their brother/sister into their lives?  At this point I don't have any clear plans, but I know I want to do my best to have our son be present, but at the same time not overshadow our future children.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I think I've felt some flutters a few times, but I'm just going crazy waiting until I can feel baby move more often and have that reassurance.
    I'm also starting to look quite pregnant, but we still haven't told anyone other than family and a few very close friends. I will be out of town from the 23rd until the beginning of January, so I've been trying to hide and hold out until then so we can wait until at least after our next appointment for more people to find out. If I could, I'd wait until after the anatomy scan. I kind of just like not having to deal with people knowing and the things they will say. I know people will be happy for us, but I think their excitement might be overwhelming to me with all of my mixed emotions.

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  • dadalou I love that you have the book and that you do Nathaniel Day.  I think that is the perfect way to keep Nathaniel an active part of your family!  I also have the same isue with trying to plan vacations ahead of time - I don't really want to do it right now, but other people are waiting on me!  I think you deserve to take your time on a decision.  But that is so great of your parents to offer!

    Mel&John2013 Thank you for your support! I hope you are doing well. 

    hsabyan Welcome to the check in and congrats on the BFP!  PgAL is a roller coaster, so please let us know if you need anything. I bought the book "Someone Came Before You," and it is a tough read but it is so great that there is a book for our situations out there. 

    schulme2 Thank you for your support. I forgot all about the steroids for lungs - hopefully we won't have to use them, but its nice knowing that we can if we need to.  I like your plan to include your LO as an active part of the family.  So sweet.  Also, big hugs  - I know time in between ultrasounds is tough when you want to know that your baby is okay!

    msunshine123 I'm glad you are starting to feel better. Good luck at your upcoming appointment!  I understand wanting the holidays to just be over already.  It is a tough time of year without our babies. Big hugs. 

    GymSpaz26 I can relate to so much of what you said.  We did not tell anyone about this baby until we were halfway through our pregnancy because I did not want to deal with what people would have to say to us either.  I hope that when you do announce your pregnancy, you get nothing but positive support from friends and family.  


    hsabyanmsunshine123
  • @GymSpaz26 - good luck at your next appointment! I know what you mean about not wanting to share the pregnancy with too many people just yet. Aside from our immediate families and the people I had to tell at work due to being out we haven't really shared the news. I'm just too nervous and I sometimes wish I could wait until after the baby arrives to share. I also look pretty pregnant since my son was born in June - everything was still pretty relaxed to start:)
  • @ikrystal, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.  We all deserve perfect pregnancies, damnit.  I'm so glad she rocked her last NST though.  I hope she keeps it up and continues to thrive up to full term.

    @dadalou, I'm sorry the summer trip has you stressed.  I would feel the same way in your shoes.  Actually the thought of a 2 month old on a germy plane gives me quite a bit of anxiety!

    @hsabyan, congratulations on the pregnancy!  I just got my BFP this past weekend, so I'm feeling many of the same feelings as you!

    @schulme2, good luck at your appointment this week!  Have you tried the doppler yet?  With Layla, I actually picked up her hb between 8 and 9 weeks.

    @msunshine123, hooray for sickness subsiding!  Good luck at your appointment!  I hope the next few days fly by.

    @GymSpaz26, I'm still quite a ways away from showing but I'm already dreading people knowing.  I hope you can hold out as long as possible before people start looking at you funny or outright asking you.

    So that brings me to my intro.  I just got my BFP on Saturday and it's already a bit of a mindfuck.  Mind if a join you?

    How far along are you?  3w5d

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?  Getting betas today and Wednesday.  My first appointment and ultrasound are scheduled for Jan 2.  Feeling thankful the holidays will help the time pass a little more quickly while I wait.

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?  Some cramping but nothing abnormal for early pregnancy.  That's about it for now.

    QOTW: This one might be a tough one. How do you plan on telling your rainbow about their brother/sister? Do you know how you might intend to incorporate their brother/sister into their lives?  Rainbow 1.0 (post-miscarriage, pre-stillbirth) talks about his sister quite a lot, so I think he'll help introduce her to Rainbow 2.0, and help him/her understand.  We're just a little over 5 months out from our loss, so we're still working our way through how best to incorporate her into day to day life.  For now we're just making sure we say her name a lot. 

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?  Just fear and nerves.  I keep oscillating between being super excited and feeling like I might not be strong enough to navigate pregnancy again.  It's hard to turn my brain off at night, so my sleep has been pretty lousy the past couple of nights.  I need to find a way to work through that.
    November 2010 - 10.5 week loss  o:) 
    October 2011 - DS (7)  <3 
    July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)  o:) 
    August 2015 - DD (3)  <3 
    April 2018 - 5 week loss o:) 

    hsabyanmsunshine123stefugeBrittianyM
  • How far along are you? 24 weeks 1 day

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Growth scan this afternoon, in 1.5 hours to be exact! 

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Still just sweets. But I've been doing better getting in my fruits and veggies, I'm very proud about that! 

    QOTW: This one might be a tough one.  How do you plan on telling your rainbow about their brother/sister?  Do you know how you might intend to incorporate their brother/sister into their lives? We have pictures of Lincoln around the house and plan to continue with that, and just talking about him regularly and visiting his spot at the cemetery. We also plan to continue with the annual golf outing in Lincoln's name, which his brother would be able to attend and hopefully one day have little jobs to help out.  

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? So nervous about the growth scan today. I don't know how this escaped me earlier, but this weekend it just occurred to me that Allagille's syndrome, which is the doctors' best guess at what caused Lincoln's troubles, often leads to growth issues. When I read up about the syndrome a lot of moms said the only sign of trouble in pregnancy was that baby measured small. So now I'm terrified that baby is still going to measure small and I'm going to be a terrified wreck. 
  • schulme2schulme2
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    edited December 2014
    @mel&;John2013- good luck today!!! Let us know how it goes!! Praying for great news and big baby! :)
  • CheesyPeas I had to smile at what you said, because yes - we all deserve a free pass on this one!  It is so sad that some of us are having difficulties this time around as well.  But - welcome to the check in!  Congrats on the pregnancy, and FX for a happy and healthy 9 months for you and baby.  I love that you say your angel's name often and that you already have a child that can help your new baby know his/her sister. Please let us know if you need anything - PgAL is rough on the emotions, but you are not alone.

    Mel&John2013 Big hugs to you today - good luck at the growth scan.  Please update us when you have time.  Prayers for you and baby!  I love your plan on how to include Lincoln in your family.  The golf outing is such a great idea - I love that you will carry on the tradition. 


    CheesyPeas
  • @Cheesy Peas - it's hard to turn your brain off sometimes. I am the same way sometimes I'm go between excited about this new baby and other times I'm just so worried for this little one. Pgal brain is so hard - so many hugs to you!
    @Mel&;John2013 - I hope everything goes well at your appointment today. Hugs to you as I can only imagine how nerve racking things must be right now.
  • Back from my appointment, and finally got some good news! This scan was at the doctor's office instead of the hospital so they didn't do percentiles to compare, but it looks like baby did some growing! He's measuring at 23 weeks 5 days, 4 days behind, which is exactly what he's been measuring from the start. I'm not sure if he just had a lazy week the week of the AS or if the scan was off...or if this scan is less accurate. Regardless, the OB was very happy so I'm taking it as a win and am going to try to breath easy until the level II scan in 4 weeks!
    CherryPickedBrittianyMCheesyPeas
  • schulme2schulme2
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    edited December 2014
    Yay @Mel&;John2013 great news!!
  • @dadalou What you're doing is exactly what I'm hoping to do with our new little guy...to have his big brother just be a normal part of life. 
    I don't blame you for not wanting to commit to travel plans yet. We committed to a July trip when little one will be maybe 3 months old and I've questioned the decision. If he was only going to be 2 months I don't think I could have booked anything. That's just so soon, and they're still so little!

    @hsabyan Welcome to the check in!! Congratulations! It's a scary ride, but we're all here for you.

    @schulme2 Good luck on Wednesday! 
    I love this image of your son blowing kisses to his sister. He's going to grow up loving her, which is a wonderful thing.

    @msunshine123 Glad you're feeling better! I'm with you, I wish we could just fast forward through the holidays and get on with things!

    @gymspaz26 I understand wanting to hide and not tell people yet. It's such a scary prospect! I hope you get to hold out until you're comfortable.

    @cheesypeas Welcome, welcome! You are strong enough to do this, and it's going to be great! :)
    It's so wonderful that Rainbow 1.0 knows his sister and that you say her name often. I think saying Lincoln's name out loud is one of my favorite things, and a great way to honor a little angel.
    CheesyPeas
  • ::lurking::
    @CheesyPeas‌ - congratulations!
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    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
    CheesyPeas
  • @dadalou I didn't want to ask yesterday, but I saw on another post that you may not mind sharing the book you wrote for Nathaniel. It sounds like a great way to introduce siblings to their big brother...Would you mind sharing it with me?  
  • @Mel&;John2013 I don't mind sharing it. I'll send it to you in a PM.
    Abigail Grace 9/7/10
    Nathaniel Willis born sleeping 2/6/14
    Felicity Hope 4/6/15

  • Mel&John2013 Great news! Grow baby!  My OB told me that as long as they continue to grow at the same rate, it is okay.  Sounds like baby is doing well :)
  • @Mel&;John2013 - so glad you received good news!
  • How far along are you?

    24 weeks 6 days.

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?

    I have a scan tommorrow and a 3d scan at 28 weeks.

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?

    Cant get enough tropical juice i think im drinking it by the gallon right now!

    QOTW: This one might be a tough one. How do you plan on telling your rainbow about their brother/sister? Do you know how you might intend to incorporate their brother/sister into their lives?

    We have photos of noah about the house and i have his footprints tattooed on my arm DD knows him as baby noah or baby brother so we'll continue that way i suppose!

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

    I miss my noah so much i rhink its because its christmas time but i cant get through one day without breaking down in secret somewhere cause i dont want to upset other people. I thing the pregnancy hormones are getting to me a little too much too!
  • issytex12 Good luck at our scan!  As soon as you said tropical juice, I wanted some - sounds so good!  I love that you have a tattoo for Noah.  Big hugs to you this holiday season - I understand not wanting to upset other people, but just know you are allowed to feel whatever you want to feel. 
  • How far along are you? 22 weeks, 2 days

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Next appointment is in mid January.

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?
    My HG seems to have calmed down for now. I'm only throwing up once a day so I'm going to try to wean myself off of zofran soon. I'm able to eat almost normally and have been (dare I say..) enjoying food lately. It's nice to feel somewhat normal again.

    QOTW: This one might be a tough one. How do you plan on telling your rainbow about their brother/sister? Do you know how you might intend to incorporate their brother/sister into their lives?
    I know that I want this baby and any other children that we have to know about Wesley but I'm not sure how to make that happen. We have pictures up in our house and are trying to start traditions this year for his birthday that we do every year. I'm hoping that they grow up with us talking about him and it's a normal part of their life, if that makes sense. I don't know- it's overwhelming to think about!

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
    I'm so sad but also trying to be grateful that we had the time that we did with Wesley. I still can't believe that this time last year, I was 38 pregnant with him and just waiting for him to show up. Feels like yesterday and a lifetime go, at the same time.
  • @ikrystal- I hope you know that you are always in my thoughts. Im so sorry that you got such difficult news but I'm glad she's doing well now. I definitely teared up reading about how baby girl rocked her NST!

    @dadalou‌- planning anything that involves the baby gives me so much anxiety- you are not alone. My mother in law asked if she could take the baby on walks this summer (my ILs are awesome and only love a few blocks from us) and I freaked out because of all of the "what ifs." It's a difficult situation but hopefully they understand if you can't commit.

    @hsabyan & @CheesyPeas‌- congrats and welcome!

    @Mel&;John2013- congrats on the good news!


  • Bgirma Thank you for your support :)  Here is hoping that you continue to enjoy food during this pregnancy! I know thinking about how to incorporate Wesley into your children's lives is overwhelming, but I think you have great ideas on how to do it already.  I also think it is good that you are so grateful for the time you had with him - I think for all of us, it is so easy to overlook what we have been given.  I always think that the short time we had with our babies is worth more than a lifetime with someone else's kid.  


  • @issytex12 - I hope the scan went well. I think the holidays make the pain of the loss even harder - hugs to you.
    @Bgirma - so glad you are doing better. Yay for being able to enjoy some food and if you can get off the Zofran! I want to be off it too:)
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