While I agree with the first and 3rd of those points, I can't say its "tacky." The point of a baby shower isn't just social fun or a gathering party. The origin is for it to help out a mother who needs it, that's why its so expected for people to bring gifts. I didn't ask because I didn't want to fund my child, but because I couldn't for those few basics that were worn and used and or broken from the first child. This happens regardless of the gender. And though I was able to find a job this late in my pregnancy, my husband was working only part-time and the rest he's in college. I have my own reasons. I also mentioned above that I didn't throw my own shower, my mom volunteered to do it but couldn't show up on time so I ended up buying the food an hour beforehand and then no one showed up. Not looking for pity, just asking what would you have done?
So I'm expecting my second child, this is also a boy. My mom and I decided early on that if it was a girl we'd have a full-on shower. If it was a boy we'd have a "diaper shower" or otherwise called a "baby sprinkle." Our little family needed the extra help with the small things, everything we still needed (due to the old stuff being worn or broken or just needed), would've cost about $320 total, not including multiple purchases of the same diaper packs.
So then we started planning the shower for November 14th, but I ended up needing to find a job late in my pregnancy, so I got so busy we didn't get the invites out. So then we rescheduled, but couldn't imagine a good time that everyone wouldn't be so distracted by the holidays that we'd be asking too much to borrow some of their time. Plus, we didn't want to wait too far after Christmas because I'm due the 18th of January and my first was born right on time, giving us the stress of me possibly going into labor early before the shower. So we settled on Friday, December 5th at 6 pm. Well, turns out that specific Friday was everybody's busy day because no one but my aunt showed up. I sent out 42 invitations...and nothing. This is also disregarding the fact that even my own mom and family who were supposed to be there to set up were too busy beforehand since their own plans prevented them from showing until it was time to clean up...)
I now have the option of leaving things where they lie...(some people found out and are helping last-minute, which is nice either way.) OR holding a baby viewing/announcement party at his 2-week age so people can have a specific time to see baby, (not hold him), and bring gifts if they want. Does this sound like a good idea?
So. As far as the shower goes - What would you have done?
1) Not have thrown a second shower
2) Make the shower date sooner than November (not possible for me, but hey hindsight is 20/20)
3) Have a post-birth shower
4) Stick with the baby viewing/announcement party.
Stop expecting your family and friends to pay for your child. No post baby shower, no viewing party. Yuck.
While I agree with the first and 3rd of those points, I can't say its "tacky." The point of a baby shower isn't just social fun or a gathering party. The origin is for it to help out a mother who needs it, that's why its so expected for people to bring gifts. I didn't ask because I didn't want to fund my child, but because I couldn't for those few basics that were worn and used and or broken from the first child. This happens regardless of the gender. And though I was able to find a job this late in my pregnancy, my husband was working only part-time and the rest he's in college. I have my own reasons. I also mentioned above that I didn't throw my own shower, my mom volunteered to do it but couldn't show up on time so I ended up buying the food an hour beforehand and then no one showed up. Not looking for pity, just asking what would you have done?
Holy fucking sense of entitlement. It is NO ONE ELSES JOB TO FUND YOUR BABY, regardless of your financial situation. Don't have a kid if you can't provide for it. Go to goodwill, consignment stores, yard sales, Craigslist... A baby does not need that much stuff. No one showed up probably because they already welcomed you to motherhood. By the looks of your avatar, your son is not that old. It's not their fault you couldn't take good care of the things they bought you the first time around. This is by far one of the tackiest things I've ever read on here. And no, just cause you say it's not tacky doesn't make it so. Get it together.
To answer your questions: I would not have thrown a shower, full blown, sprinkle, etc regardless of the sex; and I certainly would not have a post-baby shower/viewing. I actually can't believe you would think it's appropriate to ask people to come look at your baby and bring him gifts, and they aren't even allowed to hold him. Holy entitled, Batman.
But what if her baby is Jesus?
I laughed so hard. :P
In Mary's defense, those wise-dudes showed up all by themselves. She didn't set up the star as an invite. :P
I wouldn't have thrown the shower in the first place. Now that you did, you need to leave it at that.
When I am invited to a shower, if I am unable to attend, but if I feel so inclined, I will send a gift anyway. If any of those people intend to send you a gift, they will. Throwing a 2nd gift-grab isn't going to make those people any more likely to get you something. If they didn't attend the first one on purpose, they'll avoid a second one as well. If they truly were unable to attend but want to get something for baby, they will.
You should definitely throw another party after the baby arrives. You should charge people $$ to view the baby and even more $$ if they want to hold him. Kinda like the wedding dollar dance but this time you're using your kid to make cash. Kid better learn to earn his keep. You can also set up a "gofundme.org" account so other people can pay for your kid & be sure to publicize this all over FB, Instagram & pass out flyers in your office. It takes a village- ya know?!
So instead of taking the hint of no one showing up to mean that you shouldn't throw your gift grabby shower, you're going to throw another party? Cool.
While I agree with the first and 3rd of those points, I can't say its "tacky." The point of a baby shower isn't just social fun or a gathering party. The origin is for it to help out a mother who needs it, that's why its so expected for people to bring gifts. I didn't ask because I didn't want to fund my child, but because I couldn't for those few basics that were worn and used and or broken from the first child. This happens regardless of the gender. And though I was able to find a job this late in my pregnancy, my husband was working only part-time and the rest he's in college. I have my own reasons. I also mentioned above that I didn't throw my own shower, my mom volunteered to do it but couldn't show up on time so I ended up buying the food an hour beforehand and then no one showed up. Not looking for pity, just asking what would you have done?
I'm sure this is pointless, but SEX, not gender
Also, NO. A shower is to welcome a NEW mother into motherhood. It is not for a second, third, or however many time mom. You are already a mom, therefore, you have already been welcomed into motherhood, therefore NO SHOWER. But again, I'm sure this was pointless.
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my SIL had a 2nd shower... when she was expecting her 2nd child her first was only 3 years old... they called it a 'sprinkle' BUT both times it was gender-nuetral bc they don't find out the sex. I was baffled by this bc she had already HAD a large shower for her first & most of what she registered for she already had. I was told it was bc she wanted 'new stuff for a new baby' & was appalled.(she planned the entire event herself & handed her mother & I a list of what she expect me done down to the menu) She even registered for the same exact bedding she already had... it was a gross display... then to make it worse, the day of the 'sprinkle' she sat in a corner with her group of close friends & didn't even politely acknowledge the family members of hers who had traveled over an hour to attend & she didn't even say 'hello' to my mother! I mean, call me crazy but I feel like when you invite ppl to bring you gifts you could at LEAST take a moment to acknowledge them!
My point in sharing that is, it's unfortunately not all that uncommon these days for ppl to either lack social etiquette or simply not understand how rude their behavior appears to others. For my own sanity I'm choosing to believe that the OP isn't due to greediness but to lack of understanding... ? I can hope...
You are not the first person on here to consider having a shower for your second child or hosting your own shower. When the inevitable fall-out from such posts occurs, generally there is a common response from OPer, "If people don't like it, they don't have to come!"
Well, actions speak louder than words and nobody came. Do you think people were trying to send you a message? Don't make this situation any worse by trying to host another tack-fest! Leave.It.Alone!
Her "sprinkle" had more invites then my wedding wtf
GAWD MAYBE SHE JUST HAS MORE FRIENDS!
Too bad none of them are good enough friends to actually show up LOL
I bet shes one of these ladies who throws "home parties" and plays them off as dinner parties/get togethers and then guilts her friends when they don't buy crap so she can make money.
jazmynlaraine
member
Re: Baby Shower - 2nd Boy, any thoughts?
Holy fucking sense of entitlement. It is NO ONE ELSES JOB TO FUND YOUR BABY, regardless of your financial situation. Don't have a kid if you can't provide for it. Go to goodwill, consignment stores, yard sales, Craigslist... A baby does not need that much stuff. No one showed up probably because they already welcomed you to motherhood. By the looks of your avatar, your son is not that old. It's not their fault you couldn't take good care of the things they bought you the first time around. This is by far one of the tackiest things I've ever read on here. And no, just cause you say it's not tacky doesn't make it so. Get it together.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
I laughed so hard. :P
In Mary's defense, those wise-dudes showed up all by themselves. She didn't set up the star as an invite. :P
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Well, actions speak louder than words and nobody came. Do you think people were trying to send you a message? Don't make this situation any worse by trying to host another tack-fest! Leave.It.Alone!
Too bad none of them are good enough friends to actually show up LOL
I bet shes one of these ladies who throws "home parties" and plays them off as dinner parties/get togethers and then guilts her friends when they don't buy crap so she can make money.