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--FFFC--

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Re: --FFFC--

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  • MrsSinner402MrsSinner402 member
    Nicb13 said:


    pnwlover12 said:

    slsl509 said:

    I have zero qualms about using the TV for entertainment in moderation. Honestly what is the difference if your baby looks at a mobile, a crib soother, one of those projector things or the TV? It's like how I feel like a smug asshole because I read while DH watches TV and then I realize that he's at least sitting up while I'm laying down.

    This!!! So much.

    I'm not anti TV by any means - trust me - but there is something to be said about the effects of TV on babies and kids. With the fast movements, all the flashing, colors, sounds - it's quite overwhelming for their little brains. That's why they say no TV under 2 years old. (Which I never listened to by the way). Kids get over stimulated by lots of things but the TV can be quite a bit for them to take in.


    It seems to be all that appeases DD right now. :-< if she's not eating, sleeping, on her changing table, or staring at the tv, she's crying. I don't know what else to do.






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  • Wino411Wino411 member
    MrsL2B said:


    Nicb13 said:


    Jennifer18131 said:

    Serious FFFC: I didn't have any positive feelings about DS until he was 4 weeks. I still have not felt that overwhelming motherly love toward him. In my mind, he's a 24/7 obligation that has good moments for around 3 hours a day total.

    School TMI FFFC: in 4th grade, I sneezed and shit my pants. I told the teacher, who laughed at me and sent me to the office. I told the secretary who laughed at me and called my mom. I told my mom who laughed at me and told me to go commando for the rest of the day.

    I felt so much regret about having her almost every day up until a couple weeks ago. I feel ya.

    I'm in the same boat. I never had any maternal feelings and still don't. This whole thing is so surreal. Every day I wake up totally overwhelmed that there's still a baby next to me. It's kind of like I'm just watching someone else's kid for a while, and they're going to come back and take him home any day now.

    It took me 5 weeks and 2 days to get any real positive feelings. My mom was with us and loves babies and kind of just jumped in and sorta took over. I've never been a baby person but love kids. Two and up is when I start liking kids. I had no idea what to do with a baby and honestly still don't. I needed her help as DH started his business and was gone all day when lo was 2 weeks old but felt like she was his mother and I was her assistant. The more time passed the more distant I grew. It wasn't until I was left completely alone with him after 2 days of crying that out of nowhere I was like omg i love this little person. But there are still days where I'm like wtf did i do, this train never ends!?! But most of it stems from my DH's crappy work schedule and the fact that I'm pretty much the sole caregiver and left in the house with a baby who can't carry on a conversation all day


    Me: 34 DH: 34

    TTC since Jan '13

    BFP#1 - EDD 3/24/14 - d&c 7w5d

    BFP#2 - EDD 6/14/14 - cp 4w2d

    BFP#3 - EDD 10/28/14 - It's a BOY!!! - Born 10/26/14

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  • bumpuser10309732bumpuser10309732 member
    @Cantisa‌ I feel the same way about it. I usually have a drink while feeding (large glass) and feed her two hours later. From what I've been told about metabolism while breastfeeding I think she'll be just fine....
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  • TheOtherJacobsonsTheOtherJacobsons member
    Cantisa said:
    @MrsSinner402‌ and @TheOtherJacobsons‌ I could've written both of your posts. I'm such a bitch to DH these days. I need to work on it :-( and my FFFC is Im pretty lax about drinking and breastfeeding. Any time I've felt tipsy or even drunk my milk is negative and there's so much literature that the amount of alcohol that transfers to milk is not much. Meh flame away!
     I also could have written this. I am a cheap date, so after 2 beers or 1 snifter, I am tipsy. I have only tested positive once I have had 3 drinks, so I don't worry about it if I have 1-2 drinks in a 1-2 hour period. Same thing with coffee. My kid sleeps no matter what I drink. 

    FTM - BFP: 1/23/14 - EDD: 10/5/14 - DD Born 9/13/14

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  • windwithfingerswindwithfingers member
    @Cantisa‌ same. The only time I've ever tested positive was after I drank 3 drinks in 90 minutes.
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  • lrobi13lrobi13 member

    I have also been a giant notch to DH lately.  Last night we were discussing our travel plans to Disney for my brother's wedding in June. He was telling me that my family needed to be organized and make room arrangements soon.  And I'm all like "my family is not organized, you know this.  so if that is going to be a problem for you then we need to do our own thing"

    I could hear my tone getting shriller by the second.  Plus, I am just not too please with his new work hours...which seems to fall directly in lo's "witching hour".


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  • MrsSinner402MrsSinner402 member
    TheOtherJacobsons said:

    I have another one. I really wanted my kid to look like DH because I thought she'd be prettier. I was really sad about it when she was first born because I saw so much of me in her. I haven't told anyone this, not even DH. It is hard to reconcile these feelings because even though she does look a lot like me, I think she is beautiful. It's probably because she looks more like her daddy.


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    Holy shit she is his clone! His beautiful, darling little clone. :x






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  • vrj0522vrj0522 member
    I am already sleep training DD. We don't do CIO but with DS I was at the end of my rope by the time he was 10 weeks old and that's when we started sleep training him. It changed everything in our home and so I've already started with DD. DD still gets all the appropriate feedings and I like the predictability of our day and our routine. There was no way I was going to wait until she was 6 months old. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Me: 38 DH: 36
    Married 8/27/2011
    BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
    BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
    BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
    BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
    BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
    BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018


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  • MrsTinMKEMrsTinMKE member
    pnwlover12 said:
    I think my husband is a bad kisser. He knows I feel this way and has tried to change it in the past, but there hasn't been any long-term change. I get pissed off sometimes during foreplay because I am like, this is the time to turn me on and it's really turning me off. Jam your tongue in my face when it's your turn to get off. I also feel really shitty for thinking this.

    I have not DTD since 2nd tri. 

    The last few weeks I have been kind of a dick to DH when he gets home. I just really want a baby break and Tes cries so much when he holds her now and after an hour of trying to ignore it, I end up being a total bitch to him. He does not deserve this. He comes home, never gets upset once even with a crying baby and I do things like get mad at him for not getting a variety of meats when I write meats on the grocery list. I mean, he went grocery shopping after work then cooked dinner and all I could think of was how getting a variety of sausages was like getting only ramen when noodles is on the list. 

    He actually just looked at me and said "Sorry" and actually meant it when I hadn't even given him a reason for why I was upset. I asked him what for and he just said that he must have done something to upset me. 

    I am actually bawling right now because I am a total asshole.

    I don't know how to fix it. I apologize for being a dick and then the next day starts over again.
    Having a baby changes so much in the relationship dynamic at first. It took us about 6 months for it to even out and get back to normal. Tensions are high and frustrations are abundant. I remember one fight I had with H that resulted in me taking a pee diaper all bundled up and throwing it at him I was so mad. Things will get better.
    My DH is also a terrible kisser! - I have never had the nerve to tell him.  The first time we made out, I didn't think I would actually date him again, but I really liked HIM, the kissing just sucked. (no pun intended).  Also the second point - baby changing the relationship,,,, I am usually very patient and cool headed with my H, but things just piss me off so much more now.  We got into a fight about a month ago because he would let DD cry in her swing and not check to see if she needed to be fed or something right away.  My immediate reaction is to go to her and comfort her, I got pissy with him because he didn't try to feed her or see if she needed a change, and in turn he took that as me saying that he didn't care about his daughter. We made up about 30 minutes later but tensions run much higher with the baby now.  Some days I just want to clock him, other days I love him more than anything. I hope it gets better, things feel so off right now. 
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  • vrj0522vrj0522 member
    Nicb13 said:
    vrj0522 said:
    I am already sleep training DD. We don't do CIO but with DS I was at the end of my rope by the time he was 10 weeks old and that's when we started sleep training him. It changed everything in our home and so I've already started with DD. DD still gets all the appropriate feedings and I like the predictability of our day and our routine. There was no way I was going to wait until she was 6 months old. 

    So what do you do to "train" her? Luckily DD sleeps great and is on a pretty predictable schedule but what exactly can you do for a baby this young that 1) they will get and 2) that will stick?
    We follow an eat, play, and sleep routine, which basically means that she eats first, then is kept awake right after, and then sleeps last as part of the cycle. And we do it all over again all day long. We have flexibility and because she is young she sometimes still sleeps almost the entire cycle, but normally if she falls asleep at the breast at the end of a feeding, I put her on the swing or the bouncer or playmat and she quickly wakes up. She is awake for a little while and then I swaddle her and put her down for her nap. Sometimes I still put her to sleep first and then set her down but we've been working on putting her down sleepy but still awake. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. We started this routine at 6 weeks and now she is like clockwork and we have 3 hour cycles during the day with one feeding in the middle of the night but wake time. 

    I guess as far as sticking all I have is the prior experience I had with DS. Sometimes things get disrupted by what is going on in the day or a growth spurt but then go back to normal. DS was a difficult baby but implementing this routine made him much easier and got rid of motn wake time and 30 min cat naps on the breast. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Me: 38 DH: 36
    Married 8/27/2011
    BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
    BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
    BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
    BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
    BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
    BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018


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  • 2goingon32goingon3 member
    FFFC: I do not like one of the kids that I babysit. He's 4. I feel like a child saying this because I get that it's not his fault. I think he's sneaky and annoying, but he loves to cuddle and can be very sweet. He's always trying get my 4 yr old in trouble, and it makes me want to kick him.

    The worst part is that he's no worse than my own kid. He's just not my kid.
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  • golfingdarwinfishgolfingdarwinfish member
    edited December 2014
    2goingon3 said:

    So, in the Facebook group, I posted a pic of DS asleep on his playmat. It's started getting likes. BUT, it's gotten more views than likes....

    WTF people???? You looked at it, but you didn't like it?






    (J/K, I don't actually care :P )

    I really hope there's no truth in this and you mean the "j/k".
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    TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.

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  • 2goingon32goingon3 member
    golfingdarwinfish said:

    2goingon3 said:

    So, in the Facebook group, I posted a pic of DS asleep on his playmat. It's started getting likes. BUT, it's gotten more views than likes....

    WTF people???? You looked at it, but you didn't like it?






    (J/K, I don't actually care :P )

    I really hope there's no truth in this and you mean the "j/k".


    Absolutely!
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  • vrj0522vrj0522 member
    Nicb13 said:
    I'm all for doing whatever works! The earlier the better too!
    I know a lot of people don't feel this way and think that training this young is wrong but I just don't have the patience. Nor do I have the time with a busy toddler to have a baby sleeping and eating on me all day long.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Me: 38 DH: 36
    Married 8/27/2011
    BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
    BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
    BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
    BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
    BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
    BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018


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  • vrj0522vrj0522 member
    Nicb13 said:
    vrj0522 said:
    Nicb13 said:
    I'm all for doing whatever works! The earlier the better too!
    I know a lot of people don't feel this way and think that training this young is wrong but I just don't have the patience. Nor do I have the time with a busy toddler to have a baby sleeping and eating on me all day long.

    I absolutely agree and I don't think of what you are doing as "training" either. If you were withholding food or letting your LO cry then that would be one thing, but you aren't.

    I will never understand the folks that don't do something about their 1 or 2 year old that still won't STTN. Sure, kids will do it when they are ready but if my 1 year old still can't do it, you better believe I'll do something about it.

    I love sleep and if I can work with my kids to get them sleeping well early on then I will do what it takes.

    Agreed! I also value sleep way too much. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Me: 38 DH: 36
    Married 8/27/2011
    BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
    BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
    BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
    BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
    BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
    BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018


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  • TheOtherJacobsonsTheOtherJacobsons member
    golfingdarwinfish said:


    @TheOtherJacobsons‌

    Lady, you are gorgeous and so is your daughter. She will learn and become comfortable with her body and appearance through you and the direction that you give, and the cues she senses from you and DH. And when she sees how beautiful DH thinks you are, and sees how much he loves you, she will have positive male enforcement as well. Her appearance will evolve over the years, but for now, relish the fact that you see both yourself and beauty in her - you're also seeing beauty in yourself through her.

    You totally made me cry. I know that her self esteem is affected by those closest to her like DH and me. I'm not sure why mine tanked in college, but it did. My mom was pretty supportive of me and built me up in that way. I remember in grade school it came up because they were concerned about that in the 90s. I remember thinking that I had great self esteem. Anyway I know that for her I need to stop cutting myself down. Otherwise she'll pick up that bad habit.

    FTM - BFP: 1/23/14 - EDD: 10/5/14 - DD Born 9/13/14

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  • MrsTinMKEMrsTinMKE member
    TheOtherJacobsons said:
    Cantisa said:
    @MrsSinner402‌ and @TheOtherJacobsons‌ I could've written both of your posts. I'm such a bitch to DH these days. I need to work on it :-( and my FFFC is Im pretty lax about drinking and breastfeeding. Any time I've felt tipsy or even drunk my milk is negative and there's so much literature that the amount of alcohol that transfers to milk is not much. Meh flame away!
     I also could have written this. I am a cheap date, so after 2 beers or 1 snifter, I am tipsy. I have only tested positive once I have had 3 drinks, so I don't worry about it if I have 1-2 drinks in a 1-2 hour period. Same thing with coffee. My kid sleeps no matter what I drink. 
    I am on the same page with drinking and breastfeeding. although one glass of wine and I am tipsy right now... My LC also said it was just fine having a drink and breast feeding, also said she didn't believe in pumping and dumping, to just dilute the milk you pump after drinking more than 2.  
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  • MuffinMom14MuffinMom14 member
    There are two bumpies that when I scroll down and see they've quoted me, I cringe, because they normally only address me to point out my flaws or talk down to me. I'm all butthurt about it and it's started to make me post differently, and that's bullshit.

    I get that by design, people are different, and some people are smarter/better moms/richer, whatever. But I feel like garbage about it. I've been pretty open about who I am (sorta dumb/not a MOTY/from WV, so you know we aren't millionaires). I don't know why I'm perceiving it this way (because I'm certain it's all in my head and they mean absolutely no harm). All my self esteem is in the gutter.
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  • MuffinMom14MuffinMom14 member
    MrsSinner402 said:

    SPurp13 said:

    There are two bumpies that when I scroll down and see they've quoted me, I cringe, because they normally only address me to point out my flaws or talk down to me. I'm all butthurt about it and it's started to make me post differently, and that's bullshit.

    I get that by design, people are different, and some people are smarter/better moms/richer, whatever. But I feel like garbage about it. I've been pretty open about who I am (sorta dumb/not a MOTY/from WV, so you know we aren't millionaires). I don't know why I'm perceiving it this way (because I'm certain it's all in my head and they mean absolutely no harm). All my self esteem is in the gutter.

    Who's talking down to you?! I'll tell them to eat a dick.
    It's all in the perception. I'm sure it's not intentional at all. It's my own issue.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    @SPurp13‌ I wish I was more like you IRL. You're funny and have an awesome personality. I'm a bump on a log most of the time.
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  • MuffinMom14MuffinMom14 member
    apk4 said:

    @SPurp13‌ I wish I was more like you IRL. You're funny and have an awesome personality. I'm a bump on a log most of the time.

    Ha! I never go anywhere. I'm awesome on the Internet. Socially awkward in real life.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    SPurp13 said:

    savagek7 said:

    I don't like giving or receiving oral.
    Also, I have only achieved orgasm during sex when there's been a vibrator involved the entire time.

    Pretty sure that's the most I've ever talked about sex to anyone other than dh...

    I think I probably hand out blowies maybe one time for every 10 times my husband dines at the Y. Sorry not sorry. He's the opposite of a two-pump chump, and I ain't got time for that. I have a little mouth.
    Hahahahaha. Same for me.
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