Catcalling
lewispm
member
A high school friend of mine wrote this blog post and I absolutely love it. Currently living in the suburbs of a small town, personal safety is not always the first thing on my mind these days and I usually feel pretty safe (although still confronted, called at, and even followed while doing something as unsexy as grocery shopping). I know from experience, however, that living in a city or large town and having to frequent places unaccompanied, it often is for some ladies.
https://dancinginthebirminghamjail.wordpress.com/2014/12/09/bring-that-ass-over-here-girl/
This blog post got me thinking. I know a lot of J12ers live in larger towns and cities while others are living in the suburbs or in small towns. From personal experience, what is your initial reaction to "catcalling"? Fear? Annoyance? Anger? Flattery (yeah, right)?
And have you EVER thought "I should get his number and we should go out sometime!"? LOL
Re: Catcalling
That is definitely when I would start freaking out. When I took night classes at UAB a few years ago, I had mace on my keychain and always kept my car key in "stab position", as I call it, while walking to my car. However, I rarely got bothered while walking around there. In fact, the #1 place I can recall (other than out at bars in college) being "catcalled" at is Walmart, while grocery shopping. I was followed once while like 6 months pregnant with Kellen through like 6 aisles. The man kept telling me how beautiful I looked and how MH better treat me right and if he isn't then I could call him (this stranger) and he would show me how a real man does it. It was horrifying and embarrassing and I know a few people must have heard it. I just ignored it and went on my business, but it really shook me up.
Also, I had an even more terrifying experience in college in a Publix parking lot that resulted in an actual police report. My 2 friends and I were picking up some groceries for a beach cookout and when we returned to my car, all hell broke loose. I went to open my driver's side door and heard grunting and groaning and some profanities coming from the truck parked next to us. I'll spare the details, but lets just say I was a mere 2-3 feet through an open window away from a stranger's erect penis. We all started screaming and I got my phone out to call the cops. The man sped off and didn't even have plates, so I'm sure he was never caught. It was so awful though. An image that I still can't erase from my mind.
I'm with you on feeling sorry for the ignorant person. However, it does make me feel diminished, in a way. Violated? No, except the time I mentioned above when the man exposed himself. More like embarrassed, and wondering what makes that man think he can treat a woman that way. I see it as very de-humanizing and it angers me more than anything. I'm not very confrontational at all and usually just ignore it, but sometimes I find myself wishing I could go back and give the man an earful of what I was really thinking.
It's one thing (though still not appropriate or excusable) to tell a stranger she is gorgeous or pretty or what not, but it is another thing when you follow a young woman through a grocery store, making sound effects as if you were eating delicious food while watching her walk and saying things like " Girl, if your husband ain't treatin you right I can show you how a real man does" and "Damn, I could watch you walk around here all day". It is mortifying, and totally diminishing to be treated like that. Catcalling may be a very mild form, but I believe its what makes the more aggressive forms seem OK in some men's eyes.
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14