baby shower? ??

lynlopez · December 2014

So ive been ask if im having a baby shower. I think is not a bad idea but when exactly is the right month to have one during a pregnancy?

READY4TWO · December 2014

I had a shower for my first when I was about 7 to 7.5 months pregnant

Brummy14 · December 2014

Most do it in the 7th or 8th month, at least as I've seen them. Earlier with twins.

My shower was held at 26w, and I was put on bedrest 2 days later. BARELY got mine in!

slweaver0626 · December 2014

Yes, it's typically closer to the end. Although I wouldn't go into the 8th month or later as you will be more uncomfortable then and less likely to be 100% pleasant at a party.

wells2010 · December 2014

I was due in early Feb for my last baby. I had a shower thrown by my friends in late Oct (so figure about 6 months) and my big shower with family and friends from home was Thanksgiving weekend when I was in town. December probably would have made more sense, but we opted to have it earlier because of the holidays and it kept me from making an extra trip up.

If this July baby was my first, I'd probably do a shower mid-late May. I won't have a shower this time around as we don't need any big stuff and I think they are tacky for subsequent kids unless they are very far apart in age.

MrsC0409 · December 2014

Exactly what @wells2010 said. Mid to late May... if this is your first!

draeray · December 2014

wells2010 said:

I was due in early Feb for my last baby. I had a shower thrown by my friends in late Oct (so figure about 6 months) and my big shower with family and friends from home was Thanksgiving weekend when I was in town. December probably would have made more sense, but we opted to have it earlier because of the holidays and it kept me from making an extra trip up.

If this July baby was my first, I'd probably do a shower mid-late May. I won't have a shower this time around as we don't need any big stuff and I think they are tacky for subsequent kids unless they are very far apart in age.

This was us too. With Thanksgiving and Christmas and then New Years, having a shower in the middle of January when you are due early February was too late in the game for us. We ended up having it the last weekend of October which made it a Halloween theme.

If I didn't have to juggle the holidays, it would have be around 7.5 months.

BarefootContessa · December 2014

If I remember correctly I was around 8 months when I had mine.

c-elizabethf · December 2014

With dd I was 35 weeks.

Chasity08 · December 2014

It's been a while since DD, but I'm pretty sure my aunts had thrown mine in February, and I delivered DD mid-March. So I was 32ish weeks (I delivered at 36 weeks).

DocTaco · December 2014

I was 35 weeks, swollen, and uncomfortable. If I could go back, I'd do it earlier when I still felt cute!

Bodoni · December 2014

I think I had mine around 33/34 weeks, which was right before I started to get uncomfortable.

BridgetB21 · December 2014

I think any where between 30-35 weeks is a good time. But, hell! Make your own rules! If a friend wants to throw you a shower sooner, go for it!

ifwisheswerefishes · December 2014

kissandglow said:

Whenever the hosts decide to have it.

Hopefully a good and respectful host would ask the mother when a good time/day is for her instead of just picking a willy-nilly date.

Sorry, but this comment got a serious side-eye from me.

squeegoi · December 2014

ifwisheswerefishes said:

kissandglow said:

Whenever the hosts decide to have it.

Hopefully a good and respectful host would ask the mother when a good time/day is for her instead of just picking a willy-nilly date.

Sorry, but this comment got a serious side-eye from me.

It may have been a gentle prompt not to attempt and host one's own baby shower. From the initial question, it's difficult to tell whether OP is wondering what timing is typical (when confirming good dates with the host), or whether OP would attempt to host her own shower. [edit for clarity] It's particularly unclear, since people seem to be asking her about showers versus offering to host them.

I've met women (not pregnant), who just don't spend time around pregnant women or children and who had no idea you don't host your own shower.

PhoenixFrances · December 2014

squeegoi said:

ifwisheswerefishes said:

kissandglow said:

Whenever the hosts decide to have it.

Hopefully a good and respectful host would ask the mother when a good time/day is for her instead of just picking a willy-nilly date.

Sorry, but this comment got a serious side-eye from me.

It may have been a gentle prompt not to attempt and host one's own baby shower. From the initial question, it's difficult to tell whether OP is wondering what timing is typical (when confirming good dates with the host), or whether OP would attempt to host her own shower. [edit for clarity] It's particularly unclear, since people seem to be asking her about showers versus offering to host them.

I've met women (not pregnant), who just don't spend time around pregnant women or children and who had no idea you don't host your own shower.

I seriously see nothing wrong with hosting your own shower. I have several friends who have done so with consecutive pregnancies and I myself may host my own since I tend to be very picky about how things are done like decorations, cake, etc.

DaBearsFansWife · December 2014

PhoenixFrances said:

squeegoi said:

ifwisheswerefishes said:

kissandglow said:

Whenever the hosts decide to have it.

Hopefully a good and respectful host would ask the mother when a good time/day is for her instead of just picking a willy-nilly date.

Sorry, but this comment got a serious side-eye from me.

It may have been a gentle prompt not to attempt and host one's own baby shower. From the initial question, it's difficult to tell whether OP is wondering what timing is typical (when confirming good dates with the host), or whether OP would attempt to host her own shower. [edit for clarity] It's particularly unclear, since people seem to be asking her about showers versus offering to host them.

I've met women (not pregnant), who just don't spend time around pregnant women or children and who had no idea you don't host your own shower.

I seriously see nothing wrong with hosting your own shower. I have several friends who have done so with consecutive pregnancies and I myself may host my own since I tend to be very picky about how things are done like decorations, cake, etc.

======================
It's very poor etiquette to host a party in your honor and ask to be showered with gifts. Not everyone will get a shower. But that doesn't mean you won't get gifts. Those who want to send you gifts will do so with our without a shower.

And, FWIW, I also know plenty of friends who have hosted their own showers. BUT, on principle I refuse to attend or send really good gifts to showers hosted by the recipient (bridal or baby). I might send a utensil set or a receiving blanket but usually is not much. So you might be hurting your odds of getting gifts if you host your own shower.

geoffandjen728 · December 2014

ifwisheswerefishes said:

kissandglow said:

Whenever the hosts decide to have it.

Hopefully a good and respectful host would ask the mother when a good time/day is for her instead of just picking a willy-nilly date.

Sorry, but this comment got a serious side-eye from me.

Good and respectful host that has some experience at least being around pregnant ladies... I'm very thankful for my wonderful shower for DD... But they wanted to host it over three and a half hours away from me at 38 weeks... Was able to tactfully and gracefully convince them to choose a place a little closer and at 36 weeks.
I agree though, most people who choose to host a shower will be much more considerate.

PhoenixFrances · December 2014

DaBearsFansWife said:

PhoenixFrances said:

squeegoi said:

ifwisheswerefishes said:

kissandglow said:

Whenever the hosts decide to have it.

Hopefully a good and respectful host would ask the mother when a good time/day is for her instead of just picking a willy-nilly date.

Sorry, but this comment got a serious side-eye from me.

It may have been a gentle prompt not to attempt and host one's own baby shower. From the initial question, it's difficult to tell whether OP is wondering what timing is typical (when confirming good dates with the host), or whether OP would attempt to host her own shower. [edit for clarity] It's particularly unclear, since people seem to be asking her about showers versus offering to host them.

I've met women (not pregnant), who just don't spend time around pregnant women or children and who had no idea you don't host your own shower.

I seriously see nothing wrong with hosting your own shower. I have several friends who have done so with consecutive pregnancies and I myself may host my own since I tend to be very picky about how things are done like decorations, cake, etc.

======================
It's very poor etiquette to host a party in your honor and ask to be showered with gifts. Not everyone will get a shower. But that doesn't mean you won't get gifts. Those who want to send you gifts will do so with our without a shower.

And, FWIW, I also know plenty of friends who have hosted their own showers. BUT, on principle I refuse to attend or send really good gifts to showers hosted by the recipient (bridal or baby). I might send a utensil set or a receiving blanket but usually is not much. So you might be hurting your odds of getting gifts if you host your own shower.

As I mentioned earlier I have plenty of friends who hosted their own and I always give them really great gifts because they are my friends so whether or not they hosted a shower wouldn't change my opinion of the gift I give them that's just tacky!!! As far as the gift getting I don't feel that's the whole purpose of the shower but it is to welcome the new baby so I would still go ahead and have my own either way and I understand some people don't like that or think it's bad etiquette and that's perfectly fine!

DaBearsFansWife · December 2014

PhoenixFrances said:

DaBearsFansWife said:

PhoenixFrances said:

squeegoi said:

ifwisheswerefishes said:

kissandglow said:

Whenever the hosts decide to have it.

Hopefully a good and respectful host would ask the mother when a good time/day is for her instead of just picking a willy-nilly date.

Sorry, but this comment got a serious side-eye from me.

It may have been a gentle prompt not to attempt and host one's own baby shower. From the initial question, it's difficult to tell whether OP is wondering what timing is typical (when confirming good dates with the host), or whether OP would attempt to host her own shower. [edit for clarity] It's particularly unclear, since people seem to be asking her about showers versus offering to host them.

I've met women (not pregnant), who just don't spend time around pregnant women or children and who had no idea you don't host your own shower.
I seriously see nothing wrong with hosting your own shower. I have several friends who have done so with consecutive pregnancies and I myself may host my own since I tend to be very picky about how things are done like decorations, cake, etc.

======================
It's very poor etiquette to host a party in your honor and ask to be showered with gifts. Not everyone will get a shower. But that doesn't mean you won't get gifts. Those who want to send you gifts will do so with our without a shower.

And, FWIW, I also know plenty of friends who have hosted their own showers. BUT, on principle I refuse to attend or send really good gifts to showers hosted by the recipient (bridal or baby). I might send a utensil set or a receiving blanket but usually is not much. So you might be hurting your odds of getting gifts if you host your own shower.

As I mentioned earlier I have plenty of friends who hosted their own and I always give them really great gifts because they are my friends so whether or not they hosted a shower wouldn't change my opinion of the gift I give them that's just tacky!!! As far as the gift getting I don't feel that's the whole purpose of the shower but it is to welcome the new baby so I would still go ahead and have my own either way and I understand some people don't like that or think it's bad etiquette and that's perfectly fine!

=================
Giving crappy gifts to a gift grabby AW isn't tacky. Hosting your own party is tacky.

And please, don't give me the whole "it's not about the presents" spiel. It's a SHOWER. As in SHOWER THE NEW MOTHER IN GIFTS. Not interested in gifts? Then there is absolutely no need for a shower.

thiscoffeechick · December 2014

+1 for "hosting your own shower is tacky as hell. If you want your friends to celebrate the baby, host a sip and see after s/he is born.

halo&wings · December 2014

I had my shower at 32 weeks and DS was born one week later!

lynlopez · December 2014

Thanks for all your opinions and is something my family wants to have for me since its my first baby and they are all very excited since my first pregnancy was a miscarriage. I just wanted to know so I wont be physically uncomfortable.

PhoenixFrances · December 2014

DaBearsFansWife said:

PhoenixFrances said:

DaBearsFansWife said:

PhoenixFrances said:

squeegoi said:

ifwisheswerefishes said:

kissandglow said:

Whenever the hosts decide to have it.

Hopefully a good and respectful host would ask the mother when a good time/day is for her instead of just picking a willy-nilly date.

Sorry, but this comment got a serious side-eye from me.

It may have been a gentle prompt not to attempt and host one's own baby shower. From the initial question, it's difficult to tell whether OP is wondering what timing is typical (when confirming good dates with the host), or whether OP would attempt to host her own shower. [edit for clarity] It's particularly unclear, since people seem to be asking her about showers versus offering to host them.

I've met women (not pregnant), who just don't spend time around pregnant women or children and who had no idea you don't host your own shower.
I seriously see nothing wrong with hosting your own shower. I have several friends who have done so with consecutive pregnancies and I myself may host my own since I tend to be very picky about how things are done like decorations, cake, etc.

======================
It's very poor etiquette to host a party in your honor and ask to be showered with gifts. Not everyone will get a shower. But that doesn't mean you won't get gifts. Those who want to send you gifts will do so with our without a shower.

And, FWIW, I also know plenty of friends who have hosted their own showers. BUT, on principle I refuse to attend or send really good gifts to showers hosted by the recipient (bridal or baby). I might send a utensil set or a receiving blanket but usually is not much. So you might be hurting your odds of getting gifts if you host your own shower.

As I mentioned earlier I have plenty of friends who hosted their own and I always give them really great gifts because they are my friends so whether or not they hosted a shower wouldn't change my opinion of the gift I give them that's just tacky!!! As far as the gift getting I don't feel that's the whole purpose of the shower but it is to welcome the new baby so I would still go ahead and have my own either way and I understand some people don't like that or think it's bad etiquette and that's perfectly fine!

=================
Giving crappy gifts to a gift grabby AW isn't tacky. Hosting your own party is tacky.

And please, don't give me the whole "it's not about the presents" spiel. It's a SHOWER. As in SHOWER THE NEW MOTHER IN GIFTS. Not interested in gifts? Then there is absolutely no need for a shower.

Well I will have to agree to disagree and say to each his own!!

ashiscute · December 2014

sassycassieb said:
Add me to the list of "hosting your own shower is tacky." As is having a shower for anything but your first baby.

Agree.

OP- I had my shower around 29 weeks I believe but my DD was due late January so it was trying to find a date around the holidays. I think by 35 weeks would be best.

MrsC0409 · December 2014

Did you really just use "being picky about decorations and cake" as an excuse to be tacky? Sorry but that makes you even more tacky in my book... what you're really saying is "I won't appreciate anything anyone does for me if it doesn't meet up to my standards." That's not just tacky... that's greedy and self centered too. YOU WIN!

DaBearsFansWife · December 2014

MrsC0409 said:
Did you really just use "being picky about decorations and cake" as an excuse to be tacky? Sorry but that makes you even more tacky in my book... what you're really saying is "I won't appreciate anything anyone does for me if it doesn't meet up to my standards." That's not just tacky... that's greedy and self centered too. YOU WIN!

She's turning out to be one spayshul sneuxflyke.

squeegoi · December 2014

I was going to post that if someone hosted their own shower, I'd probably go.

But then it occurs to me that if they're close enough to me that I'd go to their shower, I'd probably say something. Probably bluntly and rudely, because that's how my friends and I roll. Then I'd offer to host their shower for them, because if she's doing it on her own, then it's my obligation to step in, because that's also how my friends and I roll. You've gotta have each other's back.

...and if I wasn't close enough to smack someone upside the head, I'm probably not close enough to go to their shower anyway.

So...yeah, I'd probably not go either.

jr0310 · December 2014

My mom really wants to go old school and throw me a surprise shower like she had. I'm so excited for it and anything she picks will be amazing because she did it with love. She wanted my opinion on a possible cake because she was worried I wouldn't like it. It was the pregnant belly with the foot cake. We both agreed we didnt want to be slicing bellies open at my shower and moved on lol.

That being said, if I was type a super picky, I might ask her to run a couple things by me if I had a picture in my mind of what I liked. I would only do this if my mom was throwing the shower though because we are close enough where it wouldn't be tacky.

My cousin is a graphic designer and all she asked was that she design the invitations to hers. Everyone has their own thing and I think as long as you're tactful in the way you approach the situation, you can help out per say. But throwing the whole thing? Yeah I wouldn't have the guts to do that.

JennyJensing · December 2014

People are seriously that picky about getting showered with gifts?? Ick...

sschwege · December 2014

PhoenixFrances said:

ifwisheswerefishes said:

kissandglow said:

Whenever the hosts decide to have it.

Hopefully a good and respectful host would ask the mother when a good time/day is for her instead of just picking a willy-nilly date.

Sorry, but this comment got a serious side-eye from me.

It may have been a gentle prompt not to attempt and host one's own baby shower. From the initial question, it's difficult to tell whether OP is wondering what timing is typical (when confirming good dates with the host), or whether OP would attempt to host her own shower. [edit for clarity] It's particularly unclear, since people seem to be asking her about showers versus offering to host them.

I've met women (not pregnant), who just don't spend time around pregnant women or children and who had no idea you don't host your own shower.
I seriously see nothing wrong with hosting your own shower. I have several friends who have done so with consecutive pregnancies and I myself may host my own since I tend to be very picky about how things are done like decorations, cake, etc.

@PhoenixFrances Pretty soon I'm going to need a new car seat for DS, oh and we just signed him up for gym class which are quite costly and he could use a helmet because I know pretty soon he is going to want to ride his sister's balance bike...Do you think I should throw a party and invite all my friends and family and point them in the direction of a registry listing all these items? Probably not. It's never OK to host a party for yourself, where the primary purpose of the party is to be 'showered' with gifts!

coastlifeliving · December 2014

I am due July 12. We moved from NY a year ago to MS and all of my family and friends are in NY, so my girlfriend is throwing me a shower there in NY in April so I can travel comfortably back there. I'm having another shower here with new friends in may sometime.

jley1420 · December 2014

In my Hispanic heritage family or friends do a surprise baby shower and u sit on a beautiful decorated chair and u get pampered all night and they usually do it at 8 months before that would be bad luck and u might have ur baby earlier(that is a belief not that it is)...

Amstreagle · December 2014

MrsC0409 said:

Did you really just use "being picky about decorations and cake" as an excuse to be tacky? Sorry but that makes you even more tacky in my book... what you're really saying is "I won't appreciate anything anyone does for me if it doesn't meet up to my standards." That's not just tacky... that's greedy and self centered too. YOU WIN!

There will always be an excuse for the tacky.

MrsC0409 · December 2014

Amstreagle said:

MrsC0409 said:

Did you really just use "being picky about decorations and cake" as an excuse to be tacky? Sorry but that makes you even more tacky in my book... what you're really saying is "I won't appreciate anything anyone does for me if it doesn't meet up to my standards." That's not just tacky... that's greedy and self centered too. YOU WIN!

There will always be an excuse for the tacky.

That's true... and they usually have an excuse that makes them believe they aren't tacky. On a related note, a girl I work with is pregnant and asked if we were throwing a shower for her, when we tried to throw her off and say we weren't she told us we had to because she needs the money. Usually we use the money to buy an office gift, but she told us not to... just the money. She also just threw herself a "sprinkle" with 85 people for her third baby.

zellij · December 2014

I'm not so against showers for second or third babies. I threw one for my SIL because I didn't know her when she had her first baby, and she's one of the most thoughtful people I've ever met. Her shower was well attended and the baby diapers she received lasted her more than 11 months! She might be a unique case, though, because she's always doing stuff for other people so I think they just wanted to love her back and celebrate her third baby

jessica20157 · December 2014

So who is suppose to host your shower? I have no family members that can do it and my close friends are either having babies or getting married around the time I would have one for my twins.
Am I not suppose to have a shower?

MrsC0409 · December 2014

@jessica20157 according to tradition and etiquette... the short answer is no. But nowadays exceptions are constantly made in those situations. Especially if this is your first. My comments were directed at people who DO have people that can throw a shower for them, but wanted control over the situation. Anyway, I feel like everyone should have a shower thrown for them for their first so I hope your friends surprise you!

amc1087 · December 2014

Related question: For a number of reasons I don't think that I will have a baby shower. With that in mind, do you still think that I should create a registry? Will people still want to buy gifts or should I just plan to buy all the essentials myself?

MrsC0409 · December 2014

@amc1087 Yes! definitely! Not only for people that might want to buy you gifts but for completion discount! I started one at pottery barn and have no intention of telling anyone about it!

TeresaWE · December 2014

Agree with PP, definitely create a registry! People will ask if you are registered anywhere, the goody bag and completion coupon, also it's a wish list/check list for you.

baby shower? ??

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