Stay at Home Moms...

RachyDC · December 2014

Did you know going into your pregnancy that you wanted to be a stay at home mom? I'll be a first time mom and right now I plan on going back to work, but I could totally see myself as a stay at home mom as well. How did you decide?

I know it's early, but I'm genuinely curious (and bored at work)

Beachy730 · December 2014

I'm a WAHM but in a different job than my degrees are in. I always thought I would go back to teaching, but childcare is just way too expensive to make it worth it. I was subbing while pregnnat with DS, but even with a long term position after we paid for childcare I would only bring home about $100/week, which wasn't worth it to me. I started working one day a week from home for my old job which allowed me to make as much money as subbing would have brought home. Since then I'm now full time from home so it's kind of the best of both worlds.

Bodoni · December 2014

I work full time from home. Mostly because I find it hard to work for people and I don't like to wear pants.

soccsm13 · December 2014

I didn't plan on it, and actually did go back to work after 14 weeks of mat leave. I was very reluctant to go back but my SIL was watching ds, which made me feel better. After the summer she had to go back to her para job in a middle school and DH got a promotion so we could afford me staying home so I quit my job. We had done the math out and it was like $100 less per week with me not working but DH's raise after factoring daycare and commuting costs (60 miles/day for me).

foreverMorgan · December 2014

I was lucky enough to be able to take DS to work with me for his first year. We were planning to put him in daycare but I got pregnant again and, after looking over the situation, we decided I'd stay home.

Now, we just have too many kids for me to work - I wouldn't make enough money to justify it. When I have just one kid who needs childcare I'll probably go back to work. I've been home for a long time. I miss it.

Dcwtada · December 2014

I actually went back to work for 3 months after maternity leave with my first. I worked from home and had an in home nanny, so it seemed like a really good arrangement plus i went back and forth on being a SAHM. After 2 months being back i gave my resignation. I am glad i went back to work and tried to be a working mom as it made me feel more confident in my decision to stay at home. I have only been at home a week and a half but it feels right and both me and my SO are so much happier and less stressed. Plus we have several side businesses outside of his normal job including a liquor store, pizza kitchen and several rental properties, so I can take over management of those to keep me challenged if i want. Right now i am just enjoying my LO.

Mamamads · December 2014

I planned on it and quit working 3 months before my first was due. I've always wanted to be a sahm and I teach dance in the evenings a few days a week. This has always been my dream growing up(I've danced my whole life.) Being home with the kiddos has always been important to me and I plan on home schooling as well.

ELauren88 · December 2014

It really comes down to if its "doable" financially for you. Living off one income is not a walk in the park, and both you and your SO need to be on board for it to work.
Also, being a sahm sounds like fun and games, but its very lonely, and exhausting work. Just something to keep in mind.
I was a sahm for the first year, and I wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world. We needed a little extra income, so I found a job with a daycare where I still spend the whole day with DD while bringing home a paycheck. Best of both worlds.

sschwege · December 2014

I always wanted to be a SAHM. Half of my teaching salary would have been eaten up by having one in daycare and now that I have two 100% would go to pay for daycare. I just read that my state is #7 highest for childcare! But anyway, so to make a little money I watch another little guy in our home 5 days a week. It's actually a lot of fun most of the time, my kids have a buddy and since I've been watching him for the last 1.5+ years he's almost like part of the family. I actually make 1/2 of what I was making teaching at a Catholic school, so now I'm actually doing better than if I had returned to work.

akbride25 · December 2014

We always hoped that I could be a SAHM. After we got married, we learned to live on just one salary and saved the other. That way we knew that we could do it. I was already SAH a month before I got pregnant with our first. I had been a teacher but was not going to be going back the next year.

We have to live frugally, but we could never afford daycare for our kids even if I had a job. Once we had our second, no job here would cover the high cost of daycare for two children.

expletive baby · December 2014

I intended to go back to work (I worked in marketing) after my leave but I haaaated my job, my boss and the CEO. Our planned childcare fell through after I procrastinated a phone call. So we crunched some numbers and I decided to resign. It was pretty shitty of me to just NOT go back, but they had already made changes to my job description and took away the few things I actually liked to do, so I didn't feel too guilty. I'm still not totally sure I'm cut out for being a SAH, but I like naps and hate work and super hate people so I guess it's working out in the end. I have a part-time freelancing job that I do for a little extra income.

knkmomof2 · December 2014

I always wanted to be a working mother (before I even thought about trying for a baby) but as soon as we started trying, I had a change of heart. That & I didn't have a job at the time because my husband was in the navy & we moved every 6 months. So I decided to stay at home, and still am a SAHM. I hope that once this baby is around 3-4, I can get a job! I definitely miss being a normal working adult but cherish the time with my kids while they are young.

ashiscute · December 2014

I knew I wanted to stay at home. I didn't love my job that I had when I got pregnant. I had crappy hours (worked till 6 and most Saturdays) and didn't make very good money. DH and I were crunching numbers and looking at daycare and then he got a promotion and we realized we could make it work.

I'm glad I didn't go back to work because my first two are only 19 mos apart and we could have never afforded two in daycare.

bosco213 · December 2014

I don't have a decision to make unfortunately. We cannot afford to live in NJ and live on half the salary we do now. I'm envious of those who can!

FSUNole31 · December 2014

I worked when my son was born, I am a teacher. After my daughter I stayed out almost the rest of the year. Now I nanny during the day and work at a local YMCA during the evenings to make money. It is hard and some days I wonder if my kids would be better off in a more structured daycare, but I do enjoy it most days and knew after my second I would stay home.

ecgal87 · December 2014

We planned on it going into my first pregnancy. I only worked part time anyhow, so I quit at 31 weeks. It was glorious getting those last few weeks to myself before having a kid. I know it's not doable for everyone and I am so grateful I had it. It's going to be harder with a toddler and a newborn next year, but I'm glad I won't have to get myself together in real clothes to leave the house most days.

As awesome as it is, staying home can be mind numbing and boring at times, even if you are busy. You crave adult interaction. It's good to try to get out and see other adults so your brain doesn't turn to mush. I actually missed working sometimes when the days were long with a newborn, but I'm glad I got to see all his firsts and [most days,] I love spending my whole day with my kid.

SewSewBlessed · December 2014

I had no idea how hard it was going to be to go back to work. I had DS1 and I cried every day of my maternity leave! I was a teacher and only planned to take 6 weeks off. I knew I didn't want to go back, once I had him, but I also am not the type to quit in the middle of a school year. I made myself go back and complete that school year, but DH knew how miserable I was. My heart wasn't in the classroom anymore. We spent the last few months of that school year, saving my salary and living off his. We prayed a lot! Now I have two boys and I've been home for 3 school years. Idk if I'll ever go back.

CANTW82BMOM · December 2014

bosco213 said:
I don't have a decision to make unfortunately. We cannot afford to live in NJ and live on half the salary we do now. I'm envious of those who can!

I'm with you. I'm a Jersey girl too. It's so expensive here.

Chasity08 · December 2014

Right now it wouldn't be an option to have 2 babies in daycare, on top if DDs before and after school care. But we are talking to our jobs about working out our schedules so we can all be home more together as a family while only putting the twins in daycare part time, which will help.

MisSmartyPants · December 2014

I quit my awesome job in August to become a mother. It wasn't a question of being a SAHM, but rather it was all about eliminating excess stress from my life. Either way, as much as I questioned my own decision of resigning from my dream job, it was all worth it, as the IVF worked for us in a first try. DH and I also decided that I will stay at home with the kiddos for the first 2 years of their lives to help them develop properly and then I will try to open my own business.

Boo0512 · December 2014

I WFH part-time which I find to be very stressful. I don't feel like I have enough time to get my work done because my DD (18 months) is always all over my laptop and screams her head off when I'm on the phone.

We planned this from the beginning but it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I didn't realize how to isolated I would feel. I definitely recommend to anyone becoming a SAHM to get involved in a baby class or play group (when you feel up to it and have somewhat of a routine). That being said, I'm very grateful for the amount of time I get with DD.

When we have #2, I plan to send the kids to daycare two days a week so I can get more work done. I think it'll be great for my sanity lol.

OrangeGirlie58421 · December 2014

I knew I would stay at home. On paper, it was unclear, but in my heart I always knew. I tend to live somewhat in a philosophy of go with your gut and figure the rest our later.

steen9713 · December 2014

I always planned on going back, till we found out we have twins and the idea of paying for two kids in day care is not going to work. I dont make enough to do that. We are going to hurt for a while but we think it will be worth it in the end. We are looking for a cheaper place and getting as much in order before I quit after my maternity leave.

daniellelea1985 · December 2014

We decided towards the end of my pregnancy that it wasn't worth it for me to work. My take home would be minuscule after daycare.

I do some Etsy stuff on the side for a little extra cash

c-elizabethf · December 2014

It was kind of always planned. I'm still doing my classes for my degree, now with two kids it will be harder but I plan on doing things on the side more like photography...I had stopped for awhile but was asked to do graduation pictures and stuff next year so I think that would be good extra cash.

Danious · December 2014

I always kinda wanted to, but we couldn't afford it. I was in a position at work where there kept trying to keep me by moving me to different departments, but eventually the recession caught up and I was laid off. Repeatedly. Same thing happened at my next job with a different company.
Finally we decided that maybe we could try the sahm thing.
It was tough. We cut back hardcore and I learned to budget like crazy. But we've managed!

There are days I miss work so much. And days I wouldn't go back for anything. DS starts kindergarten next year and I was planning to go back before this current surprise!

Bodoni · December 2014

CALEO said:
What do you work at home moms do (and how do I do it?)

I'm a freelance graphic artist. I mostly work with the large retail developers in our area, as well as a bunch of local small businesses.

It's not always easy working from home with a toddler and now twins on the way... I end up getting the majority of my work done from 8pm-2am and on weekends. I'm a night owl, so this works for me. However, I'm pretty much useless in the morning, good thing DS sleeps till 9:30.

Dcwtada · December 2014

CALEO said:
What do you work at home moms do (and how do I do it?)

I WAH for 2 years as a performance management consultant. It was great money and decent hours but I had paid my dues working at a market research firm for 3 years and then a fortune 100 company for 2 years in the traditional brick and mortar setting.

I know they are hiring but you do need a rather analytical background (market research, statistics, data mining etc.)

Beachy730 · December 2014

I work for a health company doing scheduling for clients, nurses and companies. A lot of my job is phone calls which can be tough with DS, but if he's ever crying I just return the call later. Also today most people realize how popular telecommuting is so usually everyone is really understanding if he starts crying, and tell me I'm lucky I get to WAH. I try to coordinate the faxes and stuff I need to do during nap time.

expletive baby · December 2014

CALEO said:

What do you work at home moms do (and how do I do it?)

I write content for websites. I was lucky enough to have a friend whose company needed freelance writers. The content is mundane (usually auto repair or insurance) but the hourly rate is decent and it's easy. I usually work during nap time or at night. The amount of work I get really varies so it's not income we can rely on but it definitely helps fill in the gaps.

Depending on the kind of work you do, ODesk is good for finding freelance opportunities, although you have to sift through some super low paying jobs to find the decent ones.

tmorash · December 2014

I could conceive of being a SAHM, at least for the years before Kindergarten, but it's just not an option for us, unfortunately. We both work FT, and I make significantly more money than my BF. So, if one if us were going to SAH, it would be him. Financially is just doesn't make sense otherwise.

Sometimes I think that we should consider him staying at home, but I invariably feel some pretty strong feelings of jealousy that he would get all that time with the baby while I'm at work, missing the bonding and all those first moments...

cabinchick · December 2014

I wish I could be a SAHM, or at least a WAHM! I'll probably work without a sitter or nanny when I'm home, but my job requires travel, so it won't be 100%. Since my job pays as much as DH (more or less, we both have fluctuating incomes), but also provides benefits - it's looking like the backup to expensive childcare will be DH being a SAHD (is that an anacronym?). Is it sad that this makes me insanely jealous and slightly bitter!? I know it's terrible, but I get upset thinking that I'll carry and birth this child then have to work to provide and pay off DH'S med school loans, while he gets to spend time with our kid

...I know, I'm a terrible person!

tmorash · December 2014

@Errsbear11 We just posted very similar feelings of jealousy about the possibilities of our SOs being SAHDs! So I totally get it - you're not alone.

jlucal · December 2014

We discussed in length me staying home with our baby once we were able to have one. My mom stayed home with me and I think (for us, no judgment against those who don't or can't) it is important. Looking forward to it!

evemadalyn · December 2014

I love being a sahm! But going down to one income was a huge adjustment! We have to budget a lot and can not buy whatever we want! It can get lonely, but i still cherish this time I have with my dd. I wouldn't change it for anything!

Boo0512 · December 2014

CALEO said:
What do you work at home moms do (and how do I do it?)

I used to work in HR but got my insurance license when I knew we were going to start TTC. My dad owns an insurance agency and is completely computer illiterate lol. So I do all of the insurance quotes that need to be done online and all other computer work.

When all of my kids are school age I will be buying the agency. At that point I'll be more full-time but I'll still be able to WFH 2-3 days a week.

It's not my dream job but the money is really good and I will have a great schedule for family life.

AshleyS829 · December 2014

I'll be at home. I always wanted to be because I work in early childhood education, actually got my masters degree in it last year, so my standards are very high.

My husband is Air Force and I know too much about the base CDCs to be comfortable sending my child to one. They just arent up to my standards. We now live in Guam and that was the deciding factor. We've been here for 4 months and i applied to numerous jobs, most of which I was highly overqualified, and I haven't found one. With the little extra in overseas pay we can make it work. The worst part is that I have school loans that need paid back, but me staying home makes the most sense for now.

We are here for 4 years so almost perfect timing for me to get a job in a new place where nepotism doesn't run free and you aren't fighting a million other spouses for limited jobs on a tiny island. And it will be time for our LO to start school. So works out very well

brittanispears · February 2015

Beachy730 said:

I'm a WAHM but in a different job than my degrees are in. I always thought I would go back to teaching, but childcare is just way too expensive to make it worth it. I was subbing while pregnnat with DS, but even with a long term position after we paid for childcare I would only bring home about $100/week, which wasn't worth it to me. I started working one day a week from home for my old job which allowed me to make as much money as subbing would have brought home. Since then I'm now full time from home so it's kind of the best of both worlds.

You're a substitute instructor from home? How does that work?

jenloiodice · February 2015

I'm hoping to be a sahm but I'm not sure financially if it will work. I don't like the thought of having other people raise my children and all of our family lives 5 hours away. I plan on working part time around my hubbys schedule so I can bring in some kind of income but ideally I'd love to be home 24/7

Sanine · February 2015

I planned to return the whole pregnancy, but as we looked into daycare, dh and I discovered the price was more than we could afford. We were then going to have mil watch the baby, but she wanted almost as much as a daycare would have been. Bil volunteered, but it would have been only 3 months before he had another baby and I'd have to find someone else again. Plus after buying diapers and formula for his place and paying him 100 a week, I'd only have enough left over from my paycheck to pay for gas. It came down to working just so someone else can watch my baby or stay at home. Either way we would be out of my paycheck.

mvhove · February 2015

Although I dream of being a SAHM sometimes, I know it is not realistic for us at this point in time so I try not to let myself even think about it! Thankfully we have lined up daycare with someone we trust and several of my friends' kids go there too, and she's not terribly expensive either. I also try to remember that even though staying at home with your kids brings a lot of value to your lives, sometimes being a working mom can too. You help provide for you family, provide a good example to your children, save for the future, etc. Whether you SAH or are a working mom, we're just going to try to do our best!

I do think it is important to not only consider your current paycheck when deciding if it makes sense to go back to work or not. If you want to SAH for 5 years or so, you may want to consider what it will be like for you to enter the job market again at that point in time. For some careers it may not be a big deal if you have a few years gap between jobs, but in other industries that could be a huge deal especially if it is a constantly evolving field. You could have trouble trying to enter the job market again. It definitely depends on what you do, but it is just something to think about.

Want a personalized experience?

Stay at Home Moms...

Re: Stay at Home Moms...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards