Hi everyone,
I've been a little scarce on the board this week since our NT scan and ultrasound, where we saw that our baby had an enlarged bladder of 14mm (should be 7mm or less). It's a 1 in 1600 chance that this happens, but 90% of chromosomally male babies with this issue recover from it. We still don't know if the baby is male and chromosomally normal (I had the CVS done today, which is much more painful than they let on!), but since this issue almost always happens in boys and our risks for the trisomies were extremely low, we were holding out hope that we might be in that lucky group.
Sadly, we returned today (13w5d) to see that the bladder has grown to 20mm. Once it reaches this size, almost no babies recover on their own, and invasive techniques will likely only be available around 18 weeks, probably too late to help our baby. (Earlier intervention is possible in the UK, but not here, and it's debatable whether it helps anyway.) Depending on how the CVS comes back (and whether we can get results next week or it takes longer), we still have a shred of hope that the issue will right itself in the next few weeks, before the bladder expands to damage and constrain the growth of the baby's other major organs, but honestly, we're accepting that we now have to prepare ourselves for the worst.
The hardest part was seeing the pretty little face of our baby on the ultrasound. He's still moving, kicking, and waving around in there, and his little heart is beating away as strong as ever. Neither of us was ready to make the decision to terminate right away, so we're going to wait it out until there's really no chance the problem will right itself, but we are losing hope that he will make it. I truly had no idea how much you could love a baby when it was still just a tiny promise. My heart feels anew for all the loss moms here, and I know I'll never take a healthy baby for granted again. Each one is a miracle.
The combination of heartbreak and suspense is something I can't describe. On top of everything, we planned a cross-country move to be living closer to family when the baby came, and it's too late to back out, so we're packing up and leaving the life we've known amidst all of this. Thank you for every thought and prayer you expressed last week. I read that thread several times, and it gave me comfort. I don't know how often I'll be around the board while we wait, since it's hard to participate in the fun right now, but I'll definitely keep you all updated about how this turns out.
I'm grateful for all of your support and advice.
Rainbow Baby? {2.1.21}
MC at 8 weeks {EDD 9.2.20}
Rainbow Girl! {2.28.16}
Baby boy, lost at 16 weeks {EDD 6.10.15}
Re: Update on our Baby
I'll be holding out hope for your little one and sending strength to you & YH. Hugs!!
Me: 32 H: 31
IVF #1 October 2013 Antagonistic Protocol with ICSI ER 10/31/13 (18R 16M 11F- 6 blasts to freeze)
ET delayed due to OHSS
FET scheduled for July 8. Delayed due to a crazy high TSH (it had been under control for YEARS!)
FET #1 8/5/14 sET BFN
So, so many hugs. Please let us know if there is anything we can do.
G born on 9.30.12
Me (31) Him (31)

Married: 5/2013
CP: 9/18/14 (4w:4d)
BFP: 10/16/14 EDD: 6/21/15
2nd round exp 8/20/18.
BFP#2: 10/4/14 EDD: 6/7/15 DD born 6/4/15💕
BFP#3: 12/24/19 EDD: 9/6/20
June 2015 January Signature Challenge: Pinterest Fails
FET to TTC #2: 9/29/14 Beta on 10/8/14 = BFP!
DS #1 Born 1/3/11 after IVF #1
4 failed IUIs, including 1 CP
PCOS
TTC since 2008
Keeping you and your family in my thoughts xoxox