Nanny holiday gift

DahliaFlower · December 2014

Hi Ladies,

I know this has been addressed in the past but I would like to get some fresh opinions on what is an appropriate Christmas / holiday gift for a full time nanny.

Our nanny has been with us for about a year. She is excellent and we definitely want to keep her. We pay her very well and often allow her to leave early (probably more often than not). She had a week of paid vacation this summer and gets paid holidays off. For example on the week of Thanksgiving, she left at noon on Wed. and was off until the following Monday, but was paid for the full week. I would like to give her a nice Christmas gift, but I feel that the "week's pay" standard seems a little excessive. Perhaps this seems reasonable to those who are accustomed to getting large holiday bonuses at work, but this has never been my experience. I was thinking more of a gift card for several hundred dollars and a small personal gift. It seems to me that a gift is a gift, a token of appreciation and that there should not be an expectation of a certain $ amount.

Thoughts?

djm31012 · December 2014

I dont have a nanny but a weeks pay sounds like what most families do. That being said, its a gift, and its really up to you to give what you deem appropriate.

I would say though, your arguments for her paid time off arent really relevant. I also was off Thursday and Friday of thanksgiving week and was paid for a full week. Most salaried employees are. I also get more than a week of paid vacation throughout the year. I would say with many nanny families I know, 2 full weeks paid vacation is customary-1 of their choosing and 1 of yours plus paid holidays.

*sparky* · December 2014

You letting her leave early when you are able to is not a substitute for a Christmas gift. Also your vacation and holiday pay for her is pretty standard.

A week's pay is still the norm, but I think if you do what you are suggesting that would still be appreciated. I would not do any less than that.

DahliaFlower · December 2014

*sparky* said:

You letting her leave early when you are able to is not a substitute for a Christmas gift. Also your vacation and holiday pay for her is pretty standard.

A week's pay is still the norm, but I think if you do what you are suggesting that would still be appreciated. I would not do any less than that.

I don't mean to suggest that leaving early is a substitute for a Christmas gift, and I full intend to give her an appropriate gift, which is why I created this post. I mentioned that only b/c I think we are pretty generous with her throughout the year. If we were to figure out an hourly wage based on the hours she actually works, her pay would obviously be higher.

Maybe there are some people here who have an unlimited budget, but the fact is, I have a lot of expenses, lots of people to buy for, charities I would like to support at the holidays. My goal is to try to determine a gift to properly express our appreciation and warm holiday wishes without breaking the bank.

DahliaFlower · December 2014

djm31012 said:

I dont have a nanny but a weeks pay sounds like what most families do. That being said, its a gift, and its really up to you to give what you deem appropriate.

I would say though, your arguments for her paid time off arent really relevant. I also was off Thursday and Friday of thanksgiving week and was paid for a full week. Most salaried employees are. I also get more than a week of paid vacation throughout the year. I would say with many nanny families I know, 2 full weeks paid vacation is customary-1 of their choosing and 1 of yours plus paid holidays.

Maybe this is why I do not readily share your perspective. I am a professional who gets paid for the work I do, not a salary. I do not get any bonuses or any paid vacation, including holidays or days around holidays. If I'm not working, I'm not getting any $.

alli2672 · December 2014

I give one weeks salary. I just think of it like a bill like car insurance or preschool tuition. Yes. It is painful, especially this time of year. There have been years in the past where it has been more than our budget for everything else for the holiday put together (we don't get holiday bonuses either). But that is kind of what's expected, and I know that she has her own expenses and charities she would like to give to this time of year.

Iblamethebeer · December 2014

DahliaFlower said:

djm31012 said:

I dont have a nanny but a weeks pay sounds like what most families do. That being said, its a gift, and its really up to you to give what you deem appropriate.

I would say though, your arguments for her paid time off arent really relevant. I also was off Thursday and Friday of thanksgiving week and was paid for a full week. Most salaried employees are. I also get more than a week of paid vacation throughout the year. I would say with many nanny families I know, 2 full weeks paid vacation is customary-1 of their choosing and 1 of yours plus paid holidays.

Maybe this is why I do not readily share your perspective. I am a professional who gets paid for the work I do, not a salary. I do not get any bonuses or any paid vacation, including holidays or days around holidays. If I'm not working, I'm not getting any $.

There are industry standards for every industry. I don't get tips, but that doesn't mean I don't have to pay them to waitresses. I don't get paid overtime but I have to pay it to my nanny.

Bonuses are discretionary, so you can pay what you want. If your total payment/benefits package is less than she would be getting down the street, you run the risk that she'll get a new job down the street, so you just have to weigh that risk against what you're willing to pay.

PSU_Texan · December 2014

I'll weigh in. I think total compensation is more than what you give at the holidays. I have never given my nanny a full weeks pay. I usually give $250 at Christmas and a gift ~$100 for her birthday. I also probably don't pay as much as others. But I consistently give 5% raises, am fair with her hours (letting her go early often, etc), and pay her 52 weeks of the year, giving her at least 4 weeks of vacation (b/c that's how much I have). I think I inspire loyalty because I treat her with respect, my kids are easy, and the job is frankly easy (kids are in school a lot of the day). Don't panic she will leave if you don't give a huge Christmas bonus. Give what you can and keep making her feel important.

DallasHorn · December 2014

I know I've answered this before and I feel very strongly about this....I do not think it's required to give a nanny a full week's salary as a christmas gift. I've had nannies for 6 years and not once have I done this. Not once have we lost a nanny as a result. We usually give a $100 gift card. And I agree w/ the PP who said - - it's about TOTAL rewards and a person needs to look at all aspects (monetary and non-monetary).

Puppies+Rainbows+Unicorns · December 2014

It is pretty clear cut--one week is average. Some give their nannies less and others more...just like some employers pay well and others don't.

MickeyM04 · December 2014

We had a nanny last year at this time, and she had been with us for about a year. I know it's "standard" but we simply did not have an extra week's salary to give as a gift ($1,000). She brought her child with her every day, so we gave her a $200 gift card to a store we knew she liked, and we bought her child about $75 worth of gifts as well.

I am a firm believer that you give what you can afford to give, and it's the thought that counts. I am also a firm believer that I am not going to spend more on a paid employee than I am going to spend on my own child/parents/whatever. That's just me. I just could not see giving my employee more money for Christmas than what I would spend on my child, my parents, and my husband combined.

I'm sure your nanny will be appreciative of any gift that you give.

PSU_Texan · December 2014

Puppies+Rainbows+Unicorns said:

It is pretty clear cut--one week is average. Some give their nannies less and others more...just like some employers pay well and others don't.

Give me a break... just because someone can't or doesn't give a nanny 1 week of pay as a bonus does not make them an employer that doesn't pay well. This is ridiculous. Maybe it wasn't your intended opinion but it sounds that way.

If I were a nanny, I'd rather work for a family that is kind, level-headed with a smaller Christmas bonus than work for a nightmare family and get money. We all make similar decisions to take a particular job that may not pay as much but the other benefits are more important to us.

So to OP, give generously within your means and make it heartfelt.

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