I apologize if my siggie is out of date, I haven't spent alot of time on TB since our loss, but I was an active poster during the first pieces of our infertility journey an my pregnancy. We received a huge outpouring of support from our regular boards of LGBT Parenting, PAIF, and TPR, but I haven't been back much since our loss because triggers are still sort of land mines for me.
My partner (@healz413)
and I lost our twin daughters in June. Their names are Tavin and Casey and we lost them due to a combination of a chorio infection and an incompetent cervix. They were due in late October. The short story is that Tavin's water broke early one morning and her cord prolapsed at the time, we didn't know about the chorio infection until much later in the day (when I got sick from it), but they were born that night. Both of our babies were alive until a few hours before they were born but there wasn't anything we could do to save them. Our daughter Tavin passed away around 5:30pm, and our daughter Casey was born alive and lived for about 90 minutes.
I have been lurking this board for months now and I know that there are a few others out there with similar stories -- if you would like to chat I would be open as I haven't met any one else in our baby loss support groups who has had a loss where the babies were healthy and well, but born too small for a chance to be saved in the NICU. I still have all sorts of body-trauma, as well as consistent nightmares about not being able to save them --- they were beautiful and so so loved and wanted.
I think I'm a bit of an anomaly as well on this board because I'm not actually trying to be pregnant again at this point. I am too scared and have too much trauma and fear of the incompetent cervix to consider it at this point. Our babies were IVF babies, so I feel like as long as we have a choice of which uterus we can transfer them to, we should probably steer clear of me because my body has already messed that one up big time. I'm working hard now to embrace this TTC journey with my partner from a different place. Together my partner and I are both TTCAL and we anticipate facing a similar experience with triggers and anxiety as you all, so I hope you'll have us
We have begun the protocol for a frozen embryo transfer with our last frozen embryo from our IVF cycle. It's a day 3 embryo that was good quality at the freeze, but we are also trying to be realistic about the fact that the odds aren't necessarily on our side with that little one. Our plan is to do another fresh IVF cycle in the new year as well. I've also been exploring the options around cerclage surgeries (including a TransAbdominal cerclage) as a potential if I opt to explore pregnancy again in the future.
That's about it for now. Looking forward to connecting with some of you.
queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,
Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.
Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>
7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013. Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.
My Love: (the amazing @Healz413)
Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012. Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.
Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos. 1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved. BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255. Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!
We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014. Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies. We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.