Unsure of next step — The Bump
Success after IF

Unsure of next step

Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its
edited December 2014 in Success after IF
This week has been very difficult for me, first with a BFN from FET #3 and then yesterday my sister gave birth to her daughter.

It is really difficult to accept that my family is complete and that we are a family of 3. I also know that my psyche and possibly my marriage cannot take another IVF failure. Maybe other couples are more resilient but I have reached my emotional limit for disappointment.

I have one remaining frostie.I have zero confidence in my current RE and don't want to continue with him. Az far as I'm concerned he didn't do everything to prepare my uterus for transfer, dismissed having an endometrial scratch and doesn't deserve another chance with me.

I really don't know what to do right now. I do know that I cannot live in a continued state of sorrow, jealousy and resentment.
TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN

FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN

No more frosties

IVF #2. September 2014

PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts

SET November 9, 2014
Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

Not sure where to go from here.


Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

Re: Unsure of next step

  • I"m sorry Mo. The only advice I have is I would NOT do another transfer with that RE. I hate that all of this is so hard. Sending you some huge hugs.

    "I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
    TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
    IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized!
    ET - 7/17 - 1 blast transferred. Beta - 7/26 273, Beta 2 7/30 - 1143. Beta 3 8/6 - 11,597
    12/25 - Santa tells us "IT'S A GIRL!" EDD - April 4th

    Our Little Easter Bunny has arrived!

    Molly Mildred born 03/31/13

    TTC A Sibling....... FET #1 11/14/14, Transferred one beautiful blast

    Remaining four frosties arrested due to "embryologist error"

    Plllllleasssee stick little icicle.....Beta 11/23...BFN

    Starting ALL over with a fresh IVF cycle

    Stims start 11/28/14, ER December 10th, 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, only 4 fertilized 

    1 Blast Transferred on December 15th..... Beta Christmas Eve... Please Santa, bring me a baby!

    Beta #1 345.....Beta #2....750/ First U/S 1/13/15/HB 131....EDD 9/2/2015

    kmc84MoFree[Deleted User]phishgirl29
  • I agree, if you want to transfer I would find a new RE after the holidays when life settles down. Sorry this is so hard on you!
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

    TTC since 2005
    missed miscarriage nov 2006- 4 failed clomid cycles-
    3 failed femara iui cycles-
    moving on to IVF oct 2011
    ER nov. 7th
    tansfered 2 blasts on 11/10
    lots of +hpt!!
    beta #1 on 11/21= 50.4
    beta #2 on11/23= 90.8
    another miscarriage 12/23
    moving on to Round 2 of IVF with an auto immune dx
    ER 4/23-retrieved 12 eggs
    ET 4/28 3 transfered
    Beta #1- 356
    Beta #2- 870

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • I'm so sorry Mo.  I really do think of you often, and my heart hurts that you are in this place.  You are absolutely right about your RE not deserving another chance with you.  Can you find a new RE and transfer your last frostie? 
    It is so unfair that you have to go through all this.  And I know what you mean about your marriage suffering for IF.  My loss nearly broke me.  If I hadn't found the bump, and been brought around by 3T, I know MH couldn't have stuck it out with me.  IF is so unfair, and ruins so much.
    Big hugs.  I hope you can come to a decision and find some peace with it.  Take your time on making a decision though.  It doesn't have to be made right now. 
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
    IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
    IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
    beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
    beta #2 11/28 = 2055
    Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
    Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
    imageImage and video hosting by TinyPicimage
  • I am sorry you are going through this. My opinion is find an new re insist on testing a saline sono, endo scratch and possibly some immune testing. Also a blood flow ultrasound. All you need is to find a little window of hope again and you will get recharged. Don't give up!
    6 m/c
    Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010
    Natural cycle Dec 2010 BFP M/C 6 1/2 Weeks, D&E Jan 2011
    1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
    Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
    1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
    Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
    DQ ALPHA HLA MATCH, High NK Cells Diagnosed Dec 2011
    IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
    IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
    Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
    Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone) 
    Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
    Nov/Dec 2012 LIT Treatment
    Dec 12 Humira
    Jan 2013 BFP
    Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
    Miracle Born August 2013 Premature

    Yours doesn't have to be a sad story


    Lilypie - (ugiy)

    JBDamonM[Deleted User]STL34
  • I'm so sorry you are dealing with all this. I would listen to your gut and find a new Dr.

    TTC#1 for 19 months with PCOS and MFI IUI#3 + injectables = BFP!!!!  Beta#1-134(13dpiui) Beta #2-392(15dpiui) 
    #1 born December 2011
    TTC#2 - Beta #1 [email protected] Beta#2 -1353 @16dpo
    #2 born May 2013
    TTC # 3 June 2014 BFP 12-1-14
    #3 born August 2015 
    #4!!!!!!! due June 2017 
  • I am so sorry. If you aren't comfortable with your RE, I would definitely find someone else for another transfer. Wishing you peace with whatever you decide.
    Dx: Unexplained Infertility

    TTC #1 
    IUI's #1 - #3 Clomid = BFN's, IUI #4 Follistim = BFP
    Grayson arrived via emergency c-section on 7/28/12!

    TTC #2 
    IUI's #1 - #4 Follistim = BFN's
    IVF #1 w/ ICSI + PGS: Lupron/Follistim/Menopur
    ER 4/13 - 19R, 13F, 4 PGS tested embryos, 1 normal
    5/14 FET: BFP. Beta #1: 123, Beta #2: 327, Beta #3: 854
    Cora arrived 1/23/15 via RCS!
  • ((Hugs)) I'm so sorry this is so difficult....it's so unfair.  Definitely take all the time you need to get yourself (and your marriage) in a good place.  If at that point you feel ready to try again, do it!  I echo all the pp's and say find an RE that you are comfortable with and get new testing done.
    TTC# 1 since 5/10
    Me:34 Type 1 Diabetes, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Hypothyroid DH:35 Perfect
    DX: Unexplained IF
    Many IUI's with various meds all BFFN
    IVF #1 11/11 canceled due to OHSS
    IVF #2 Feb/March 2012 ET of 2 on day 3 4/7 BFP! 5/1 u/s blighted ovum
    IVF #3 July 2012 ET of 3 on day 3 7/24 BFP!
    Healthy baby girl born at 36w4d on 3/9/13
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    TTC #2
    IVF #4 May/June 2014 ER 6/4 18R 8M 8F ET 6/9 1 blast, 2 frosties
    Beta 6/18 BFFN

    FET of 2 blasts 7/24...BFP!
    Healthy baby girl born at 36w3d on 3/17/15

    IVF #5 June 2018- PGS planned, no surviving embryos
    IVF #6 August 2018- ET of 2 on day 3 - Chemical pregnancy
    IVF #7 August 2019-....?
  • I'm so sorry you are going through this.  IF is such a cruel pill to swallow.  I too agree with everyone... do not trust your last frosty with your current RE.  Sending you lots of hugs....
    Me 35, DH 36
    TTC summer 2008
    Diagnose me. DOR, DH perfect
    IUI # 1 6/2010, BFN
    IUI # 2 8/2010, BFN
    IVF # 1 10/2010 Canceled poor response
    IVF 1.2 12/2010 BFP! mc 6 weeks 2 days
    Mental health break for 10 months
    IVF # 2 10/2011 BFN
    IVF # 3 5/2012 BFP! 10 eggs retrieved (best ever)
    7 fertilized transferred 3
    Beta #1 14dpo - 72, Beta #2 17dpo 145 Beta 3 20dpo 521
    First u/s June 15 saw HB 126 bpm missed m/c 7/5/12 10 weeks D&C 7/6/12
    IVF#4 ER 9/30 ET 10/3 Beta 10/16 BFFN. IVF #5 final with o/e. ER 1/21 only 1 retrieved, hoping my lonestar is the one. Beta #1 2/6/13 = 209.... please let this be it! Keep growing lonestar! Beta #2 2/8/13 - 586! , Beta #3 2/10/13 = 1898. First u/s perfect little heart beat at 116 bpm. Measure 6 weeks 1 day. EDD 10/14/13
    3/4/13 measuring right on track beautiful heartbeat 171 bpm, graduated from RE to OB... bittersweet.
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome! Its a girl! 

    Maggie Grace is here!  10/5/13... 8lbs 6 ounces of pure joy!

    TTC#2  No birth control since DD was born.  Getting ready to jump back in the saddle.  Weaning this month. RE
    appt scheduled 5/8.   Here we go again!

    IFV# 6.  10/27  6 retrieved 4 mature 3 fertilized.  2 made it to 3dt 10/30. 1"very pretty 8 cell" and 1 6 cell.  Beta
    11/13.   Please stick embies!!!!  We love you so much already! 11/12/14  POAS, BFP... beta tomorrow!
    11/13 beta #1  924!!!  2nd bet 11/15 1906, one more on 11/17 3rd & final beta 3430.  First u/s 12/5, 7w4d, 2 heartbeats,
    both measuring right on track....2nd u/s... all is well... both beans measuring right on track... released from RE... first
    appointment with MFM 1/5.  Looks like this is really happening!

  • I am so so so sorry. I know how much it all hurts and how hard it is to imagine your family isn't the way you thought it would be. I want so badly to be a family of 4 too, but I don't know if it's in the cards...hugs
    Me: 34 Unexplained IF, DH: 31, no issues

    3 cycles of Clomid Jan-March 2012
    3x BFN
    IUI #1 Sept 2012 BFN
    IUI #1 Oct 2012 (10/11/12) BFP!
    Beta #1 10/26 313
    Beta #2 10/29 1450
    Beta #3 11/1 4202
    U/S #1 11/13
    Baby Girl born 7/3/13!!!

    And now we begin again...
    RE Consult 2/25
    Baseline Bloodwork and U/S 3/4
    Had a 22mm follicle on the R, getting ready to O on my own...BFN
    AF 4/6, CD11 testing done 4/16
    3 follies right (largest 18), 1 left (11.8). Lining 7.16
    starting Estrace 4/16, trigger 4/16 with IUI likely 4/18
  • The IF journey is not one for the weak that is for sure, but you can do it!
    I agree with the other ladies that you should definitely get another opinion and move on from your RE.
    I have a consult with a new RE at the end of the month, I am hoping a fresh approach will give me new hope that I can go thru another fresh cycle again. ( I really feel like my RE dropped the ball with me on my second cycle, I think they have grown so much over the last 2 years that they can not handle their patient load and have zero compassion. one example: calling at 8:01am and leaving a message about experiencing bleeding during 2WW and not receiving a call back until 3:50pm unacceptable!)

    It is really hard for me to imagine we are a family of 3 as well especially since everyone around us has 2+ kiddos. (my sister in-law just announced she is pregnant with her 2nd and will be due in July (same time I would have delivered if I had a BFP))

    Know that we are thinking of you and here if you need us, you are stronger than you think and don't give up on your dream if you can't go a day without thinking about it!

  • ((HUGE HUGS)) I agree with @luvboston.

    Thinking of you!

    image image

    ~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~ 

    Me= 37 and DH = 41 

    Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)

    IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN

    IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.

    IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132.  Lil is here!

    TTC#2:  Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.

    IVF #4:  BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #5:  MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #6:  (New RE):  Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN

    FET#1:  BFN

  • Thanks for your suggestions. I have an appointment to see a different RE in late January and will go from there. I am not going to cycle again with my first RE. So much of IF is out of our control but the decision to find a new practitioner makes me feel like there are some things I can do to feel less like a victim.
    TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

    FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN

    FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN

    No more frosties

    IVF #2. September 2014

    PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts

    SET November 9, 2014
    Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

    Not sure where to go from here.


    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    Ruthie04[Deleted User]
  • imoveritimoverit
    Long-Lasting Membership 2500 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its
    edited December 2014
    I'm so glad you got in with a new RE in Jan. I have everything crossed for you and your little frostie for the new year. Hope your appointment gives you a great plan. May the holidays give you some time to focus on your family of 3 to prepare for your new member next year. I'm rooting for you.
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