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MoFree · December 2014

This week has been very difficult for me, first with a BFN from FET #3 and then yesterday my sister gave birth to her daughter.

It is really difficult to accept that my family is complete and that we are a family of 3. I also know that my psyche and possibly my marriage cannot take another IVF failure. Maybe other couples are more resilient but I have reached my emotional limit for disappointment.

I have one remaining frostie.I have zero confidence in my current RE and don't want to continue with him. Az far as I'm concerned he didn't do everything to prepare my uterus for transfer, dismissed having an endometrial scratch and doesn't deserve another chance with me.

I really don't know what to do right now. I do know that I cannot live in a continued state of sorrow, jealousy and resentment.

JBDamonM · December 2014

I"m sorry Mo. The only advice I have is I would NOT do another transfer with that RE. I hate that all of this is so hard. Sending you some huge hugs.

wille2b · December 2014

I agree, if you want to transfer I would find a new RE after the holidays when life settles down. Sorry this is so hard on you!

TJ1979 · December 2014

I'm so sorry Mo. I really do think of you often, and my heart hurts that you are in this place. You are absolutely right about your RE not deserving another chance with you. Can you find a new RE and transfer your last frostie?
It is so unfair that you have to go through all this. And I know what you mean about your marriage suffering for IF. My loss nearly broke me. If I hadn't found the bump, and been brought around by 3T, I know MH couldn't have stuck it out with me. IF is so unfair, and ruins so much.
Big hugs. I hope you can come to a decision and find some peace with it. Take your time on making a decision though. It doesn't have to be made right now.

luvboston · December 2014

I am sorry you are going through this. My opinion is find an new re insist on testing a saline sono, endo scratch and possibly some immune testing. Also a blood flow ultrasound. All you need is to find a little window of hope again and you will get recharged. Don't give up!

jesselayne8 · December 2014

I'm so sorry you are dealing with all this. I would listen to your gut and find a new Dr.

mdiblasi10 · December 2014

I am so sorry. If you aren't comfortable with your RE, I would definitely find someone else for another transfer. Wishing you peace with whatever you decide.

kmc84 · December 2014

((Hugs)) I'm so sorry this is so difficult....it's so unfair. Definitely take all the time you need to get yourself (and your marriage) in a good place. If at that point you feel ready to try again, do it! I echo all the pp's and say find an RE that you are comfortable with and get new testing done.

Julie21613 · December 2014

I'm so sorry you are going through this. IF is such a cruel pill to swallow. I too agree with everyone... do not trust your last frosty with your current RE. Sending you lots of hugs....

trigirl79 · December 2014

I am so so so sorry. I know how much it all hurts and how hard it is to imagine your family isn't the way you thought it would be. I want so badly to be a family of 4 too, but I don't know if it's in the cards...hugs

Wadzfaith · December 2014

The IF journey is not one for the weak that is for sure, but you can do it!
I agree with the other ladies that you should definitely get another opinion and move on from your RE.
I have a consult with a new RE at the end of the month, I am hoping a fresh approach will give me new hope that I can go thru another fresh cycle again. ( I really feel like my RE dropped the ball with me on my second cycle, I think they have grown so much over the last 2 years that they can not handle their patient load and have zero compassion. one example: calling at 8:01am and leaving a message about experiencing bleeding during 2WW and not receiving a call back until 3:50pm unacceptable!)

It is really hard for me to imagine we are a family of 3 as well especially since everyone around us has 2+ kiddos. (my sister in-law just announced she is pregnant with her 2nd and will be due in July (same time I would have delivered if I had a BFP))

Know that we are thinking of you and here if you need us, you are stronger than you think and don't give up on your dream if you can't go a day without thinking about it!

STL34 · December 2014

((HUGE HUGS)) I agree with @luvboston.

Thinking of you!

MoFree · December 2014

Thanks for your suggestions. I have an appointment to see a different RE in late January and will go from there. I am not going to cycle again with my first RE. So much of IF is out of our control but the decision to find a new practitioner makes me feel like there are some things I can do to feel less like a victim.

imoverit · December 2014

I'm so glad you got in with a new RE in Jan. I have everything crossed for you and your little frostie for the new year. Hope your appointment gives you a great plan. May the holidays give you some time to focus on your family of 3 to prepare for your new member next year. I'm rooting for you.

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