3rd tri losses? (no pain olympics allowed!)

PinkCamino · December 2014

lawlers22 said:

I had both a 1st trimester loss in February of 2013 (at 7 weeks) and our little girl was stillborn at 40 weeks this January, on her due date. Both sucked. Both still hurt. And both have different emotions attached to them. I wouldn't wish either on anyone. Our first loss we had only told a handful of people but I definitely found there were a lot of women who could relate and I felt very supported and confident that we would indeed get pregnant again and have a health baby. I didn't feel so alone - my mother had a couple of miscarriages, my sister in laws, etc. and they all said it was awful but I'd get through it.
Our daughter's stillborn was very different - it was her due date so I had emails, facebook posts, text messages all day asking if she had arrived yet. I had to explain to the dry cleaner, my hair dresser, the lady at the gym, insurance, short-term disability, the photographer I'd booked for newborn photos, etc. what had happened. I actually stopped going to a lot of my regular places just to avoid having the conversation.
I delivered our daughter vaginally and had to deal with my breast milk coming in and healing from childbirth, all the while planning a service and finding the right spot to bury our Lilly. We couldn't bear to pack up her nursery but actually found comfort sitting in her glider and talking to her.
When I went back to work I had an work associate who hadn't heard call and ask how parenthood was treating me. People I hadn't seen in a few months all asked about the baby. There was no explanation what happened, she just stopped breathing one day. No one could comprehend that, I had more people tell me that there must have been something wrong, it was probably a blessing. I wanted to punch all those people.
I'm actually 26 weeks pregnant now with Lilly's little brother and I'm terrified naturally. I get asked all the time if this is my first baby and I don't know how to answer. Usually I say yes, not because I want to ignore Lilly or my other baby, I just can't bear to talk about it with strangers. Other times I'm compelled to tell my story. I have friends try to tell me about what it like to give birth and I have to remind them that I already have. I know that your hair falls out, I know what an epidural is like, I've been there, remember?
Sorry for the ramble but no one can compare loss, no one can compare pain. It does help though to be able to identify with someone who had a similar story. And sometimes it just helps to be able to vent and know that someone is listening, not judging or comparing.

I'm so sorry for your loss and wish you the absolute best in your current pregnancy but this really isn't the place to tell that story right now because you are pregnant and nobody on TTCAL is pregnant. I'm so sorry I wish nothing but the best for you.

TheAerialist · December 2014

@pinkcamino @momentomori WTAF. Seriously???

Today has been an enlightening day about the status of this board, you ask for all to comment with their feelings, lots of discussion about opening up the board to make more people feel welcome, for people to participate more. But, from what I can tell, the result so far is that heartfelt attempts or real opinions are met with snide comments and people are 'offended' by or given a side eye towards for posting things not in line with what some feel this board should be.

THEN this woman pours her heart out in a terrible story of loss, you know when the time is to shove your 'rules' and reminders up your (rear)? I do. It's when someone has just shared their heart-wrenching story.

I have been trying to be really kind in my arguments, to not jump to conclusions, but this is very clearly not the board for me. I have suspected it for awhile, but the number of PM's I got from people SCARED (yes, the word used in the messages I received, unprompted was SCARED) to stand up to these kinds of selfish comments made me question if maybe I could stay and make a difference to make this a good place for everyone. I can't. I can't fight this mentality that this is a sacred space that only a select few deserve to feel safe. This woman also deserves to feel safe and to share her story. She wasn't safe, she was reprimanded and told to leave.

I realize the job you have given yourselves is one that is almost unsurmountable, and I don't envy you. It's a HUGE undertaking to personally police every word that is posted here, so it's no wonder that you don't find this a safe place. You have made people terrified to speak, terrified to post the wrong thing in the wrong place. You have forced people to hole up in their check-ins, lest they say something that brings down the wrath.

Your support does not go unnoticed and I realized this board needs special care and attention to keep it ticker and baby talk free, but this is over the line for me. The relentless picking apart of everything in search of a slight, an infraction, an error, telling a woman SHE SHOULD LEAVE!?!? You have sucked any joy that could possibly exist on a board about loss right out of the virtual room.

I hope this helps a few others on this board to stand up to this. To say it's OK if someone accidentally in passing mentions a pregnancy in the context of a horrific loss, to say that sometimes hard and fast rules are not necessary or kind.

I know the shit storm that this will cause, and I am going to take this opportunity to bow out of any further discussions on this board. There really is no point when I have seen how all these conversations end and it's usually with the person in my position giving up and going away. This is how you have chosen to form your board, and who am I to try to change that? If this is what is helping everyone, then keep at it. (hint: it's not, but people are too scared to say anything)

It's really too bad because I know the wealth of knowledge that is here and I am just beginning my journey. I have appreciated those who have been so kind to me in my stay here and I wish everyone the best of luck on their journey.

lawlers22 · December 2014

Sorry, just read the header "3rd tri loss" and figured this could be someone I could identify with since we both lost our babies in the third trimester. It's really hard to find someone who has lost a baby so late and who truly understands what emotions go along with it. After reading the trail of posts though definitely sure the bump in general isn't right for me as you all seem to act like school children arguing in the play yard.

PinkCamino · December 2014

ktlovess said:

lawlers22 said:

Sorry, just read the header "3rd tri loss" and figured this could be someone I could identify with since we both lost our babies in the third trimester. It's really hard to find someone who has lost a baby so late and who truly understands what emotions go along with it. After reading the trail of posts though definitely sure the bump in general isn't right for me as you all seem to act like school children arguing in the play yard.

@lawlers22 - have you checked out the pregnant after a loss board? There are women there (2 I know of) in similar situations to yourself.

You walked in on extenuating circumstances where there is a shift in the culture of the TTCAL board. This is not a typical day, and generally, we are extremely supportive. We just ask that posters respect the fact that none of us are pregnant, and some of us never will be.

The two posters who kindly pointed out to you that you are in the right place did it with grace and were very gentle. We are all sorry for your loss, truly. Don't let one weird, atypical thread turn you off the bump as a whole.

All of this. Again I'm so sorry. You may want to reach out to @shandorfml2 over on PGAL she unfortunately suffered a stillbirth at term too. She is wonderful and I'm sure she'd be great to connect with. So many hugs and best of luck.

PinkCamino · December 2014

McSarah1104 said:
@pinkcamino @momentomori WTAF. Seriously???

Today has been an enlightening day about the status of this board, you ask for all to comment with their feelings, lots of discussion about opening up the board to make more people feel welcome, for people to participate more. But, from what I can tell, the result so far is that heartfelt attempts or real opinions are met with snide comments and people are 'offended' by or given a side eye towards for posting things not in line with what some feel this board should be.

THEN this woman pours her heart out in a terrible story of loss, you know when the time is to shove your 'rules' and reminders up your (rear)? I do. It's when someone has just shared their heart-wrenching story.

I have been trying to be really kind in my arguments, to not jump to conclusions, but this is very clearly not the board for me. I have suspected it for awhile, but the number of PM's I got from people SCARED (yes, the word used in the messages I received, unprompted was SCARED) to stand up to these kinds of selfish comments made me question if maybe I could stay and make a difference to make this a good place for everyone. I can't. I can't fight this mentality that this is a sacred space that only a select few deserve to feel safe. This woman also deserves to feel safe and to share her story. She wasn't safe, she was reprimanded and told to leave.

I realize the job you have given yourselves is one that is almost unsurmountable, and I don't envy you. It's a HUGE undertaking to personally police every word that is posted here, so it's no wonder that you don't find this a safe place. You have made people terrified to speak, terrified to post the wrong thing in the wrong place. You have forced people to hole up in their check-ins, lest they say something that brings down the wrath.

Your support does not go unnoticed and I realized this board needs special care and attention to keep it ticker and baby talk free, but this is over the line for me. The relentless picking apart of everything in search of a slight, an infraction, an error, telling a woman SHE SHOULD LEAVE!?!? You have sucked any joy that could possibly exist on a board about loss right out of the virtual room.

I hope this helps a few others on this board to stand up to this. To say it's OK if someone accidentally in passing mentions a pregnancy in the context of a horrific loss, to say that sometimes hard and fast rules are not necessary or kind.

I know the shit storm that this will cause, and I am going to take this opportunity to bow out of any further discussions on this board. There really is no point when I have seen how all these conversations end and it's usually with the person in my position giving up and going away. This is how you have chosen to form your board, and who am I to try to change that? If this is what is helping everyone, then keep at it. (hint: it's not, but people are too scared to say anything)

It's really too bad because I know the wealth of knowledge that is here and I am just beginning my journey. I have appreciated those who have been so kind to me in my stay here and I wish everyone the best of luck on their journey.

QFP

TheAerialist · December 2014

wickedsugar said:
@mcSarah1104 you have a lot of fucking balls...... And not in a good way.

I'll go ahead and take that as a compliment anyway, thanks!!

If you read @lawlers22‌ 's post and the thing you thought was THE MOST important thing was to chastise her for mentioning a current pregnancy in context of a FOURTY WEEK LOSS, then you are part of the problem, not the solution.

I just don't get the point of being so heartless in so many ways in the interest of making this a "safe space" it's only safe for those who don't aha anything wrong, which you might notice isn't a lot of people.

Menrandes · December 2014

McSarah1104 said:

@mcSarah1104 you have a lot of fucking balls...... And not in a good way.
I'll go ahead and take that as a compliment anyway, thanks!! If you read @lawlers22‌ 's post and the thing you thought was THE MOST important thing was to chastise her for mentioning a current pregnancy in context of a FOURTY WEEK LOSS, then you are part of the problem, not the solution. I just don't get the point of being so heartless in so many ways in the interest of making this a "safe space" it's only safe for those who don't aha anything wrong, which you might notice isn't a lot of people.

I think you are missing the point here. Anyone coming onto this board can find out in 5 minutes or less that posting while pregnant is not ok. It's all there in the stickies at the top. Is it horrible that she had a 40 week loss? Absolutely. I cried when I read her story. BUT, I also felt blindsided by the fact that she was pregnant now. I had to walk away. Maybe that's a fault of my own, I don't know.
But no one here was rude to her in any way. In fact, even though it's not ok unless the OP has something stating that PGAl/PAL welcome, I am pretty certain had there been a pregnancy warning before her post, there wouldn't have been a problem.
You see we are loyal here. We are kind here. We are supportive here. There are rules here for a reason, and that is to protect those that are part of this community.
Unfortunately being blindsided by a mention of pregnancy is not being protected.
Again, I am sure every single person here is incredibly sorry for her loss, but that doesn't change the fact that this is not the appropriate forum for her.

forevermyfenix · December 2014

@Wickedsugar - Am I not allowed to Love-tit for a good debate?

Let me go run to the TOU to see.

forevermyfenix · December 2014

Oh, and I did add ALL AL Welcome to my siggy AFTER this thread, so I fully realize it didn't apply at the time the ladies repsonded. Wanted to go ahead and point that out before someone thinks its an issue. @Petrastonegirl made a valid point and I respect it. I simply added it for future threads, I'm open for ALL AL so ladies here can get a heads up on my future threads that there may be a PGAL person responding if she chooses.

forevermyfenix · December 2014

The comment about adding AL ALL to my siggy was to prevent someone reading the thread later from taking my side and saying "But she did have it there"

If ya'll wanna take away support because I love-tit, fine. I shouldn't have to worry about a lack of support for my loss because I disagree or agree with a few select people here.

forevermyfenix · December 2014

forevermyfenix said:

Oh, and by love tit I mean thank you for contributing and allowing me to learn from you. I don't love your pain but I love that you feel comfortable enough to help educate me.

@wickedsugar

forevermyfenix · December 2014

leloyd said:

Menrandes said:

**Snip**

I think you are missing the point here. Anyone coming onto this board can find out in 5 minutes or less that posting while pregnant is not ok. It's all there in the stickies at the top. Is it horrible that she had a 40 week loss? Absolutely. I cried when I read her story. BUT, I also felt blindsided by the fact that she was pregnant now. I had to walk away. Maybe that's a fault of my own, I don't know.
But no one here was rude to her in any way. In fact, even though it's not ok unless the OP has something stating that PGAl/PAL welcome, I am pretty certain had there been a pregnancy warning before her post, there wouldn't have been a problem.
You see we are loyal here. We are kind here. We are supportive here. There are rules here for a reason, and that is to protect those that are part of this community.
Unfortunately being blindsided by a mention of pregnancy is not being protected.
Again, I am sure every single person here is incredibly sorry for her loss, but that doesn't change the fact that this is not the appropriate forum for her.

This. I too was pretty blindsided by the announcement that she is currently pregnant and as far along as I should be. If there had been the proper warning, that would have been fine. Knowing I am in a shit place right now, I could have skipped over it. Everyone was super nice and understanding to her, so I really don't see why they are getting heat for pointing out that the one part of her post discussing her current pregnancy was not appropriate.

I agree on this point. I'm sorry you were blind sided.

flyoffeve · December 2014

I am calling MUD on lawless22. Maybe I am wrong and if so I am truly sorry to her. But I see manipulation in it. Buzzed flyoffeve out (no taking away from @drunkencfearsy, just calling a spade a spade).

buggirl72 · December 2014

flyoffeve said:

I am calling MUD on lawless22. Maybe I am wrong and if so I am truly sorry to her. But I see manipulation in it. Buzzed flyoffeve out (no taking away from @drunkencfearsy, just calling a spade a spade).

@flyoffeve - maybe not MUD but quite possibly AE.

But that's only because it seems really, extremely random and fortuitous that someone that opened an account in 2002 and had exactly zero posts on the Bump made her very first post to this thread . . . twelve years later.

flyoffeve · December 2014

buggirl72 said:

flyoffeve said:

I am calling MUD on lawless22. Maybe I am wrong and if so I am truly sorry to her. But I see manipulation in it. Buzzed flyoffeve out (no taking away from @drunkencfearsy, just calling a spade a spade).

@flyoffeve - maybe not MUD but quite possibly AE.

But that's only because it seems really, extremely random and fortuitous that someone that opened an account in 2002 and had exactly zero posts on the Bump made her very first post to this thread . . . twelve years later.

Agreed, especially to the bolded. Can I please just get one love-tit for noticing potential manipulation? I felt like I was being bold for once and calling it out. Giddy buzz about to crash to lonely crying any second.

) >

(

buggirl72 · December 2014

flyoffeve said:

buggirl72 said:

flyoffeve said:

I am calling MUD on lawless22. Maybe I am wrong and if so I am truly sorry to her. But I see manipulation in it. Buzzed flyoffeve out (no taking away from @drunkencfearsy, just calling a spade a spade).

@flyoffeve - maybe not MUD but quite possibly AE.

But that's only because it seems really, extremely random and fortuitous that someone that opened an account in 2002 and had exactly zero posts on the Bump made her very first post to this thread . . . twelve years later.

Agreed, especially to the bolded. Can I please just get one love-tit for noticing potential manipulation? I felt like I was being bold for once and calling it out. Giddy buzz about to crash to lonely crying any second.
) > (

I gave you a love tit for each post. It's the most I can do - unless I create a love tit AE.

flyoffeve · December 2014

buggirl72 said:

flyoffeve said:

buggirl72 said:

flyoffeve said:

I am calling MUD on lawless22. Maybe I am wrong and if so I am truly sorry to her. But I see manipulation in it. Buzzed flyoffeve out (no taking away from @drunkencfearsy, just calling a spade a spade).

@flyoffeve - maybe not MUD but quite possibly AE.

But that's only because it seems really, extremely random and fortuitous that someone that opened an account in 2002 and had exactly zero posts on the Bump made her very first post to this thread . . . twelve years later.

Agreed, especially to the bolded. Can I please just get one love-tit for noticing potential manipulation? I felt like I was being bold for once and calling it out. Giddy buzz about to crash to lonely crying any second.
) > (

I gave you a love tit for each post. It's the most I can do - unless I create a love tit AE.

:x

Unknown · December 2014

This content has been removed.

PinkCamino · December 2014

flyoffeve said:

I am calling MUD on lawless22. Maybe I am wrong and if so I am truly sorry to her. But I see manipulation in it. Buzzed flyoffeve out (no taking away from @drunkencfearsy, just calling a spade a spade).

@flyoffeve: can I ask what made you think that?

flyoffeve · December 2014

PinkCamino said:

flyoffeve said:

I am calling MUD on lawless22. Maybe I am wrong and if so I am truly sorry to her. But I see manipulation in it. Buzzed flyoffeve out (no taking away from @drunkencfearsy, just calling a spade a spade).

@flyoffeve: can I ask what made you think that?

I found it very strange that it was the user's first post. It is also odd to me that someone would post on a thread that has several posts and a bit of back and forth on words. At the time that I said that I just saw that she did not have any anniversary badge. Then, bug pointed out the 12 years since account was opened and now I see that print in the profile page.

I just had some gut instinct and was thinking back to a few weeks (months?) when we were all lurking on the other board for the MUD on the wife cheating & AE users. It just makes me wonder at times if we can truly trust anyone on the internet. Feelings were hurt on this thread and that may have caused someone to lash out with this manipulation. The sentence and paragraph structure as well as tone could be similar to some others. My thinking may have been completely caused by alcohol last night, but things were out of hand yesterday by some towards you and others. Some girls can be mean and cruel.

PinkCamino · December 2014

flyoffeve said:

PinkCamino said:

flyoffeve said:

I am calling MUD on lawless22. Maybe I am wrong and if so I am truly sorry to her. But I see manipulation in it. Buzzed flyoffeve out (no taking away from @drunkencfearsy, just calling a spade a spade).

@flyoffeve: can I ask what made you think that?

I found it very strange that it was the user's first post. It is also odd to me that someone would post on a thread that has several posts and a bit of back and forth on words. At the time that I said that I just saw that she did not have any anniversary badge. Then, bug pointed out the 12 years since account was opened and now I see that print in the profile page.
I just had some gut instinct and was thinking back to a few weeks (months?) when we were all lurking on the other board for the MUD on the wife cheating & AE users. It just makes me wonder at times if we can truly trust anyone on the internet. Feelings were hurt on this thread and that may have caused someone to lash out with this manipulation. The sentence and paragraph structure as well as tone could be similar to some others. My thinking may have been completely caused by alcohol last night, but things were out of hand yesterday by some towards you and others. Some girls can be mean and cruel.

Thanks for responding.

I agree that the tone and word choices are pretty indicative. I also find it really interesting that the entire thing was deleted. I'm not sure if it was quoted anywhere but I think the paragraphing, tone and expression are very telling and maybe the poster realized. Who knows? But, you're right, cruelty like this is very worrisome - the internet is a scary place.

Thanks for sharing your insight @flyoffeve. ((hugs)) yesterday was a shitty day for the board.

PinkCamino · December 2014

wickedsugar said:

PinkCamino said:

flyoffeve said:

PinkCamino said:

flyoffeve said:

I am calling MUD on lawless22. Maybe I am wrong and if so I am truly sorry to her. But I see manipulation in it. Buzzed flyoffeve out (no taking away from @drunkencfearsy, just calling a spade a spade).

@flyoffeve: can I ask what made you think that?

I found it very strange that it was the user's first post. It is also odd to me that someone would post on a thread that has several posts and a bit of back and forth on words. At the time that I said that I just saw that she did not have any anniversary badge. Then, bug pointed out the 12 years since account was opened and now I see that print in the profile page.
I just had some gut instinct and was thinking back to a few weeks (months?) when we were all lurking on the other board for the MUD on the wife cheating & AE users. It just makes me wonder at times if we can truly trust anyone on the internet. Feelings were hurt on this thread and that may have caused someone to lash out with this manipulation. The sentence and paragraph structure as well as tone could be similar to some others. My thinking may have been completely caused by alcohol last night, but things were out of hand yesterday by some towards you and others. Some girls can be mean and cruel.

Thanks for responding.

I agree that the tone and word choices are pretty indicative. I also find it really interesting that the entire thing was deleted. I'm not sure if it was quoted anywhere but I think the paragraphing, tone and expression are very telling and maybe the poster realized. Who knows? But, you're right, cruelty like this is very worrisome - the internet is a scary place.

Thanks for sharing your insight @flyoffeve. ((hugs)) yesterday was a shitty day for the board.

lawler`s first post ? She edited it out, but @PinkCamino qfp'ed so that was useless for her to do.

Yeah, I realized after I responded to @flyoffeve. I forgot I had Quoted her in my original response.

PinkCamino · December 2014

Pickles4Prez said:

I had it's not MUD because I sent her a heartfelt message. Ugh, internet

I don't think it's mud either. I do think it might be an AE though.

I'm sorry @Pickles4Prez.

TheAerialist · December 2014

meladoriestar said:

Having to consider EVERY person's individual experience on this board every time we post and reframe every question in that light is what brings us to the point we appear to be at. It makes it very scary to post anything lest we be side eyed for not including someone in the way they expect to be included.

*******siggy warning******* @McSarah1104‌ This is exactly the kind of sentiment that shows that this board isn't the right place for you. It shouldn't be some major inconvenient chore to consider the impact your words will have. When you are part of a community you don't want to hurt the other people in your community. I would much rather reevaluate everything I say to make sure it's not hurtful than accidentally upset someone here. And even then, accidents happen. And I'm utterly grateful for the regs that called me on my poorly chosen words. So yes, the regs that "police" this board contribute to the board's safety and without a doubt make this a better place. I'm just beyond disgusted by the accusations you've made here against some of the most supportive, generous, knowledgable, compassionate women I've ever known. ETA: lots of ((hugs)) to you ladies here. And especially @PinkCamino‌ -I don't know why she's so set on singling you out but it's so unfair to you.

QUOTE BOX BROKEN

I am wondering, @meladoriestar did you read the posts in question? I don't think that what I am saying is that regs shouldn't say something to call out someones wrong words, what I am saying is when someone says something a little off, and then is asked to explain, and then gives an explanation, I don't really see why it's fair to continue to harp on (and gang up on) the person that posted a kind, thoughtful, contribution to the board.

Surely you must realize that doing this shuts down the very discussion and main-board contributions the vets on this board are asking people to start contributing. When the 'resolution' to an explanation to clarify something that wasn't perfectly worded is 'you need to calm down' well, that's not really a learning experience is it? It said to me, 'say it exactly right the first time or shut up'.

Again this was my experience today, but I see it happen ALL THE TIME and i saw it go down on two other relative newbie posters as well and it's just not something I am going to sit by and watch go down. This isn't a private page where the 'safety' of a few is at the expense of the 'safety' of those not longstanding members of the board.

PinkCamino · December 2014

McSarah1104 said:

meladoriestar said:

McSarah1104 said:

Having to consider EVERY person's individual experience on this board every time we post and reframe every question in that light is what brings us to the point we appear to be at. It makes it very scary to post anything lest we be side eyed for not including someone in the way they expect to be included.

*******siggy warning*******

@McSarah1104‌
This is exactly the kind of sentiment that shows that this board isn't the right place for you. It shouldn't be some major inconvenient chore to consider the impact your words will have. When you are part of a community you don't want to hurt the other people in your community. I would much rather reevaluate everything I say to make sure it's not hurtful than accidentally upset someone here. And even then, accidents happen. And I'm utterly grateful for the regs that called me on my poorly chosen words.

So yes, the regs that "police" this board contribute to the board's safety and without a doubt make this a better place. I'm just beyond disgusted by the accusations you've made here against some of the most supportive, generous, knowledgable, compassionate women I've ever known.

ETA: lots of ((hugs)) to you ladies here. And especially @PinkCamino‌ -I don't know why she's so set on singling you out but it's so unfair to you.

QUOTE BOX BROKEN

I am wondering, @meladoriestar did you read the posts in question? I don't think that what I am saying is that regs shouldn't say something to call out someones wrong words, what I am saying is when someone says something a little off, and then is asked to explain, and then gives an explanation, I don't really see why it's fair to continue to harp on (and gang up on) the person that posted a kind, thoughtful, contribution to the board.

Surely you must realize that doing this shuts down the very discussion and main-board contributions the vets on this board are asking people to start contributing. When the 'resolution' to an explanation to clarify something that wasn't perfectly worded is 'you need to calm down' well, that's not really a learning experience is it? It said to me, 'say it exactly right the first time or shut up'.

Again this was my experience today, but I see it happen ALL THE TIME and i saw it go down on two other relative newbie posters as well and it's just not something I am going to sit by and watch go down. This isn't a private page where the 'safety' of a few is at the expense of the 'safety' of those not longstanding members of the board.

Why Are you bringing this up again? Just let it go.

TheAerialist · December 2014

PinkCamino said:

Why Are you bringing this up again? Just let it go.

I would ask that you kindly do the same. I am simply responding to a comment directed at me. I don't see any harm in civil discourse about the workings of this board.

Edit: Whew, that quote is long. Removed quote tree, you can see it above.

PinkCamino · December 2014

wickedsugar said:
@McSarah1104 now you are just post stiring.. Which btw is a TOS violation...

I wish she would focus all this energy on supporting other members of this community and encouraging discussion and support in other threads. Seems to me she only comes out to play to stir the pot and heat up already sensitive threads.

buggirl72 · December 2014

McSarah1104 said:

PinkCamino said:

McSarah1104 said:

Why Are you bringing this up again? Just let it go.

I would ask that you kindly do the same. I am simply responding to a comment directed at me. I don't see any harm in civil discourse about the workings of this board.

Edit: Whew, that quote is long. Removed quote tree, you can see it above.

shandorfml2 · December 2014

PinkCamino said:

lawlers22 said:

Sorry, just read the header "3rd tri loss" and figured this could be someone I could identify with since we both lost our babies in the third trimester. It's really hard to find someone who has lost a baby so late and who truly understands what emotions go along with it. After reading the trail of posts though definitely sure the bump in general isn't right for me as you all seem to act like school children arguing in the play yard.

@lawlers22 - have you checked out the pregnant after a loss board? There are women there (2 I know of) in similar situations to yourself.

You walked in on extenuating circumstances where there is a shift in the culture of the TTCAL board. This is not a typical day, and generally, we are extremely supportive. We just ask that posters respect the fact that none of us are pregnant, and some of us never will be.

The two posters who kindly pointed out to you that you are in the right place did it with grace and were very gentle. We are all sorry for your loss, truly. Don't let one weird, atypical thread turn you off the bump as a whole.
All of this. Again I'm so sorry. You may want to reach out to @shandorfml2 over on PGAL she unfortunately suffered a stillbirth at term too. She is wonderful and I'm sure she'd be great to connect with. So many hugs and best of luck.

***siggy

hello. What a thread. I have had a stillbirth at term if anyone wants to reach out.(I am currently pregnant again). I am terribly sorry if some of you had negative experiences on the loss board. We've had ladies with losses @ 12-13 weeks who felt more comfortable on the late loss board, and from what I've experienced everyone has been very welcoming. I am sorry that some of you did not feel welcome. I have stepped back a bit since being pregnant, and that board does tend to be very raw with recent losses. But, we do have older members who check in occasionally, and will answer any questions you have. We also have a TTCAL check in (doesn't seem to particularly active right now) and once pregnant, a PgAL check in. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to message me.

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3rd tri losses? (no pain olympics allowed!)

Re: 3rd tri losses? (no pain olympics allowed!)

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