Should I be mad?

Kbow91 · December 2014

Need some advice from you ladies. My mother and sister live 3 1/2 hours away. The plan is to announce this pregnancy to them as a Christmas surprise. The problem is...DH cannot stand them, like at all. And refuses to go up there, which means he won't be there when I plan to announce the baby. I feel like we both should be there since this is a MAJOR announcement. What do ya'll think? Am I wrong for being a little upset about this?

babycarb · December 2014

Your husband needs to get his priorities straight and realize that this is important to YOU to have him there when you announce. It's not about your family. It's about you and supporting you. So yes, you have every right to be upset.

intensivepurposes · December 2014

Are you upset that you have to make the drive yourself? If that's it, get him to come with and go see a movie while you visit. I guess as far as the relationship with your mom and sis go - if he has a legitimate beef with them, like they treat him badly or something, he shouldn't have to spend any time with them. And you should be sticking up for him (which of course I'm sure you are already). If his problem with them is just that he doesn't like something stupid like their accents or that they only talk in Arrested Development references, I vote he sucks it up and goes with, if only to support you.

Kbow91 · December 2014

Theusualmischief said:

Does he not attend other events with them? How long is this visit? Doe she have a reason other than not liking them?

Typically he doesn't go up there when I go for random visits. I think he's been a handful of times.

catahoulatte · December 2014

I think he needs to suck it up and play nice. They are going to want to see and be around the baby and he's going to have to learn how to live with them. He doesn't have to be BFFs with everyone, but I think he needs to try and give tolerating them a shot in instances such as this.

Kbow91 · December 2014

They butt heads on a lot of things, but nothing has happened to really be a cause for dislike of one another. My mother sucks it up and tries to associate with him, but he on the other hand, he is very stubborn and very hardheaded.

JamieMichelleWed213327 · December 2014

I would be very very upset

FSUNole31 · December 2014

He needs to figure out a way to deal. Especially since you said nothing really major has occurred to make him dislike them to the point where he refuses to go with you. I hope he can get his priorities straight...good luck!

ashiscute · December 2014

I don't think stubborn is the word. I think he's being childish. I would tell him to put his big boy pants on and deal with it. I would not be okay with DH refusing to have a relationship with my mother unless she was violent or toxic.

jlucal · December 2014

I agree with PP. Being an adult and being married means sometimes doing things you don't want to do. He needs to suck it up, put on a smile and support you while you tell your family the exciting news! Reiterate to him that is important to you that you share this experience.

intensivepurposes · December 2014

Maybe throw in something fun for him to get him to go on the trip, though? I really hate spending time around certain in-laws. I do it because I'm a natural appeaser and all, but it sure would be nice if my H offered to throw in a trip to Baskin Robbins on the way back. Not to in any way justify your husband's lack of support. He's being a big dummy right now. You totally get to be mad.

MrsC0409 · December 2014

um.... YES. That's your family and this is important to you. Tell him to grow up, suck it up and deal with it!

RWPhoenix · December 2014

Yes you should be upset. Tell him to "woman up" and deal with it. Your husband needs to be there to support you. He doesn't have to love your family, just "play nice" and maybe see if the two of you can do something fun/special while there. Good luck.

lauralou2210 · December 2014

He's going to have to learn to tolerate being around then more with a grandchild in the picture. This will be good practice for when they're around once baby is here.

Julz81 · December 2014

I agree with the others I would be very upset!

inLOVEalready715 · December 2014

I would be very mad. I truly feel that dealing with inlaws/friends, going to shitty coworker events, wakes/funerals/shiva is part of the package when you are in a serious relationship and especially when you're married. you have every right to feel so hurt by this. I hope you can share your feelings with him and he will reconsider when he sees how this hurts you.

dllnlrn · December 2014

Ummm you are having a child together .... Sooooo his hardheadedness doesn't really matter at this point. When you introduce a child into a family you will need everyone's support including his. I mean what is he, five? I feel for you though, pretty soon you will have two babies to care for...

mrsvangoor · December 2014

If he's going to be a dad it's probably time for him to grow up.

femmepink · December 2014

I agree, he needs to grow up. Wait until a baby is in the picture and your family wants to have many, many visits with you guys. He better start manning up now.

I know way too many husbands like this. It's sad and selfish as hell.

kylakrys · December 2014

I'm sorry if this makes pp upset because they said you should use some incentive. He's your husband. He's not a child (although he seems to be acting like one) that can be placated by going to get some ice cream after doing something unpleasant. He's the father of your mom's grandchild. Who knows, maybe that will bring them closer. Besides, you're going to want to support of both your mom and your husband. Tell him to get over it. If you're mom is willing to try, so should he for the sake of his child and you.

Bodoni · December 2014

I think he should suck it up and go. Perhaps this amazing news could help bring everyone closer together. Babies are hard and you are going to want the support of your family in the future... he can't just run and hide every time they come around.

Kbow91 · December 2014

Thank you ladies! I appreciate the support. Hopefully he will change his mind about going. If not, I'd rather him sit at home and not be a Debbie downer

AllieVB89 · December 2014

Perhaps now is a good tie for him to make amends with your family. But everybody has their own way of handling things. I agree with the ladies above that he should at least be there for the drive and do his own thing when you're with your family. IDK about you but I pee every hour on the hour (basically) so 3 1/2 hours would be tough and annoying for me to do by myself. I hope all works out. I personally feel that he should care about your feelings and see that your upset about this and try to make it right but everybody has their own story.

Should I be mad?

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