I kind of feel like my RE is blowing me off a little bit. What do you guys think?

pinkdoggie · December 2014

Good morning girls,

so this is my first month seeing an RE and I just have a few questions for you. My RE is monitering me and offering me different treatment options than my OB ever did, but she never took any bloodwork or asked about previous bloodwork. I didn't think anything of this at first, but I find it kind of odd, since even my OB took all my bloodwork. So...is this odd to you as well? I feel like I have ran around in circles already so I worry about everything. She also doesn't seem too interested in listening to my questions; of course she will answer them, but I feel like half the time when I'm trying to ask her questions, shes already halfway out the door and answering behind her shoulder. I don't know, I might just be being sensitive because I know she's really busy. But I also feel like since I'm paying OOP I should be getting the best I can. What are your experiences with RE's?

dancerspose · December 2014

I don't have too much experience, but if you already started medicated cycles with this RE I definitely think it's strange they haven't done any bloodwork. My REs office seems to take blood every time I walk through the door. I won't lie, I'm not even sure what they're testing half the time, but I know they stick me! I have CD3 and mid cycle bloodwork as a minimum with all monitored cycles.

As for the RE not taking the time to really address your concerns that would bother me too. I hardly even actually interact with me RE (and not at all right now since she's out until January), but rather various members of the team manage all the monitoring appointments and what not. I only saw the RE during my diagnosis, pre and post op and then any WTF appointments. That being said, she's always made herself extremely available to me via phone and email whenever I've had questions. It's possible the RE just doesn't have a great bedside manner, but how is the practice setup? Are there a lot of clinical extenders (NPs and PAs) who handle the routine stuff so the docs have more time? That's how mine is.

Sorry for the disheartening experience. This is tough enough as it is. The last thing you want is to feel unsupported by the doctor.

LindseyM2012 · December 2014

I'm so sorry. You'd think REs would be among the doctors with the best beside manner! I wonder if your nurse is going to be your main point of contact during treatment. A lot of ladies only see the RE for initial and WTF appointments and if any surgery is necessary. Otherwise, it seems normal for the nurse to be the go-between for the RE and the patient.

It does seem quite odd that they're not doing the bloodwork though. Did they receive your records from your OB office? Perhaps they feel like your OB did all the necessary testing and want to hit the ground running? I'm not saying that's the right way to do things, but its a possibility. I would think an RE would be more thorough than an OB, so its strange your RE isn't adding or redoing tests. My OB ran a bunch of tests before I was referred. My RE wanted to redo some tests and added some more, but didn't need to redo other tests.

BandM14 · December 2014

I agree with PP that it's extemely strange that your RE hasn't done bw. My office is definitely on the lower end in terms of monitoring (for IUI cycles they don't do CD 3 or mid cycle bw, just betas and they did one progesterone test after I asked for it), but they still did a whole host of blood tests before they began treating me (like, honestly 12 vials). If they hadn't done that they might not have discovered that I have an under active thyroid, which I am now being treated for. There are so many important things to look for in blood work, I would definitely ask your doctor for specific reasons why she isn't ordering any, and/or push her to send you for it asap.

pinkdoggie · December 2014

Thank you ladies, I knew I should have went with my instincts on the first appointment, I am definitely going to be thinking about finding a new RE. I did just buy my fertility meds though (which were a little bit expensive) so do you think I should just hang on to them and change or stick out one more month with her and demand b/w as you guys suggested? I feel like I am lost in the woods right now as far as thi treatment stuff goes.

SND1231 · December 2014

I agree with Ketchup. I think that you should definitely be having some kind of blood work. Every single time I go I have blood work done. Also if you feel that your RE isn't giving you the time that you need try to be your own advocate and stand up for yourself if it continues consider getting a new RE. I never deal with nurses at my clinic. The RE does all the ultrasounds, meetings, questions, etc. I know all clinics are different but you are definitely entitled to having someone care about your questions and concerns.

lsimmers83 · December 2014

I'm so sorry for your experience so far! Could you look for a new RE? I haven't been to my first RE appointment yet, but it's disappointing that they are treating you the way they have!

deelopi9 · December 2014

I'm sorry you encountered this experience, it's already stressful enough having to deal with IF and not having a doctor thoroughly hear your concerns is disheartening and frustrating.

When I saw my 2nd RE he redid bloodwork my old RE conducted, and for the monitoring appointments, bloodwork is 99.9% drawn. CD3, at monitoring u/s appointments, leading up to IUI to make sure the meds are working and I'm not overstimming. I agree with the ladies, look for another RE. Can the meds be refrigerated until you meet with the new RE?

pinkdoggie · December 2014

Thanks you guys, I'm so glad I found this community. I am looking around now at RE reviews. It sucks because the next closest RE is nearly an hour away, but oh well. Whatever it takes right?

BunnyBerry · December 2014

Wow, I'm so sorry! I'm sure our RE must be super busy too, but he never lets me feel like he is. He speaks patiently and checks that we understand, gives us numerous opportunities to ask questions. I would not accept the kind of treatment you're getting, when it's a combo of terrible manner plus lackadaisical testing and treatment. A doctor who doesn't remember your name? Crazy. Our RE has pretty much memorized our chart - last time we had a WT.. appointment, he was able to discuss a comparison of every bit of data from our 4 medicated cycles, included sperm counts, lining and follicle measurements, ovulation days...he knew way more than I did. That's pretty much what I'd expect from someone who is that much of a specialist. Everything is important, and I want to know that he is analyzing our best options even more carefully than I try to.

To me, it would be worth the extra hour drive. Still, since it's so far, I might give the current RE one more chance - have a sit down and say what you expect and what she needs to do to earn your confidence.

pinkdoggie · December 2014

So...I made the decision to see a new RE. I have decided I have come to the point of my TTC jourrney where if I feel uncomfortable about one little thing, it needs to change. I don't want to waste any more time and money on an RE who obviously didn't care to begin with. Thank you to the ladies who took the time to answer and help me reach a decision. I would be lost wihtout you all! *Hugs*

emmuffy · December 2014

I will echo everyone else that the lack of bw is weird. even when just getting a second opinion with another RE who had my paperwork I had to do bw, like 10 vials worth. Bw is part of monitoring and part o f any meaningful assessment of your case. I would ask questions before switching practices altogether, especially since the other office is far, but you should feel confident in asserting yourself here. GL

pinkdoggie · December 2014

emmuffy said:

I will echo everyone else that the lack of bw is weird. even when just getting a second opinion with another RE who had my paperwork I had to do bw, like 10 vials worth. Bw is part of monitoring and part o f any meaningful assessment of your case. I would ask questions before switching practices altogether, especially since the other office is far, but you should feel confident in asserting yourself here. GL

Thank you. I gave myself plenty of time (two weeks) to think about just confronting her or changing altogether. It's a hard decision when it comes to your reproductive health because you don't want to wait anymore and you don't want to risk it either. *sigh*.

Ann612 · December 2014

I suspect my RE is a vampire with the number of times a cycle I get blood drawn. And my very first visit I had a full blood make up done - it was like 4 vials. You are right to question the lack of tests!

mshandlebar · December 2014

I am glad you decided to look into seeing a new RE, even with the extra drive time. I agree completely with what everyone else has said. There is no excuse for him not doing due diligence with your blood work. And, dismissive or indifferent doctors should not be tolerated. I was in the same situation (and it sounds like a lot of other ladies have been too). I understand that doctors are busy, that isn't the problem, but they need to treat you like a patient and not an inanimate object. When I started seeing my RE it was like a breath of freaking fresh air. She spent an hour and a half answering questions at the initial consult, and personally called me on the phone when an issue came up. When I am not dealing with her directly, I am in contact with her nurse, who is compassionate and effective. It's a 3 hour drive for us, but it is soooo worth it. Not everyone has the same needs when it comes to their interactions with their RE, but if you are not comfortable with the treatment you are getting then it isn't the right place for you. I hope either that your old RE gets his act together or that you find a new place that is perfect for you. Good luck

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I kind of feel like my RE is blowing me off a little bit. What do you guys think?

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