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Sister's new baby

MoFreeMoFree member
in Secondary IF
My sister had a baby girl this morning, less than a year after marriage and her first month TTC. Such a clusterfvck of feelings, happy for her and like a stab in the heart since it comes one week after my third unsuccessful FET.

The hardest part is hearing from my mother that my LO 'needs' a sibling because, according to her, my niece is thrilled to be a big sister and my daughter deserves the same. I have not told my family about our IF, that LO is an IVF baby and our recent failures because they are medically ignorant and very judgmental.

I had myself a long, hard ugly cry because at this point I cannot appreciate other people's happy news when I'm hurting so much.
TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN

FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN

No more frosties

IVF #2. September 2014

PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts

SET November 9, 2014
Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

Not sure where to go from here.

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Re: Sister's new baby

  • pettycrockerpettycrocker member
    Ugh........................ I can totally relate to this. My sister had her last baby (10 wks early) exactly ONE week after I lost the last baby. Well that loss almost killed me too, so I had an extremely difficult recovery- needless to say I didn't meet my baby niece until she was 4 months old, I just couldn't. The only reason I met her then was because my sister basically ambushed me with the baby, otherwise I can honestly say I would have continued to avoid her. I just couldn't cope with that shit. 


    My family says a lot of hurtful shit too. They know my tubes are fucked up, and they know about the losses, but they have no idea all we've gone through to TRY to have another baby. They constantly say shit like "Why do you want another baby?!" "You need to stop trying so hard" the other day my sister tried to get me to adopt one of her friends' babies because the girl wants to give her kid up for adoption, but my sister says this shit like, that will fix my silly problem of wanting to have another baby???? They just don't get it.


    I'm glad we have this group, with people who really can relate- otherwise I could not keep pushing forward this constant fucking uphill battle. 



    Hugs. More booze 
    :-??


    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



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  • lilmac2929lilmac2929 member
    I am so sorry. Go ahead with that ugly cry.  It just SUCKS.  The emotional turmoil of taking events we want to feel happy about and making us feel both a punch in the gut and then guilty about it. Sorry your Mom is making it worse too.  Honestly, if people only knew what some of us have been through...
    DS: Born November 2011
    TTC #2 since April '13
    DH 35, Me: 34
    DX: Unexplained Secondary Infertility, Slight DOR
    Sept 14 - IUI (Clomid + Ovidrel) = BFN
    Oct 14 - IUI (Clomid + Ovidrel + Progesterone) = BFN
    Nov 14- Benched due to cysts Looking for New Doc
    Feb - IUI #3 (Letrozole + Ovridrel)
    March/April - IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol - Follistim+HGH+Low Dose HCG - 11R/9M/5F - 2 8 cell 3dtransfer - BFN on April 23, 2014


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  • jen4nyjen4ny member
    I am sorry. It is so difficult for other people to understand what we are going through. It is a tough situation to try and be happy for someone who is getting exactly the thing we want after we have had so many disappointments. 
    "From the moment I first saw you, the second that you were born, I knew that you were the love of my life" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Me: 35, DH: 40
    TTC # 2 since 8/13, Dx: unexplained secondary infertility
    Clomid cycles 7/14 & 8/14= BFN
    IUI # 1 (clomid) 8/27/14= BFN
    IUI # 2 (clomid and follistim) 9/25/14= BFN
    IUI # 3 (femara and follistim) 10/23/14= BFN
    IUI # 4 (femara and follistim) 11/20/14= BFN
    12/12/14- saline sono shows two polyps
    2/15- two uterine polyps and "schmutz" (RE's words) removed
    8/15- surprise BFP! Beta #1 70 Beta #2 150 
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  • FrenchteachermamaFrenchteachermama member
    I had to watch my identical twin sister carry her 4th child (again when she can't afford the 3 she already had) and have to deal with watching someone who looks exactly like me pregnant while I have had 2 miscarriages and a year+ of IF bullshit.  She treated me like a piece of shit all year because I wasn't happy enough for her and should just "get over" my losses.  She fucking sucks.  All I can say is that god for my therapist!



    imageimageimage
    image
    My FF Chart:
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/490dd7
    TTC #3 since June 2013
    BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
    BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14
    IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IVF #1, Stimmed for 12 days, ER 8/22/14, 9 retrieved, 7M, 7F!!  Freeze all due to fluid in uterus.
    FET end of October 2014 cancelled due to fluid in uterus due to possible c-scar defect
    Surgery scheduled 12/12/14 to fix possible isthmocele
    3/26/15 transferred one 8 cell grade 4 embryo and one 6 cell grade 3 embryo = slow rising betas for 2+ weeks = ectopic MTX shot 4/29/15
    Repeat c-scar surgery June 2015
    2nd and last IVF cycle August 2015, stimmed for 12 days, 2 egg retrieved, both mature and both fertilized.  Transferred both 8-cell embryos on Day 3, beta 9/5/15 = BFFN
    MOVING TO ADOPTION!  


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  • Davie813Davie813 member
    Ugh.  That sounds like a painful situation to start with, and I'm so sorry your mother is making it worse. :(
    *****Signature/Ticker Warning******

    Me: 41, DH: 45
    DD, 6/15/2013
    TTC #2 beginning January 2014
    AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11

    July 2014: IUI #1.  Follistim + Pregnyl.  2 follicles--BFN
    September 2014: IUI #2.  Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone.  4(?) follicles--BFN
    October 2014: IUI #3.  More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone.  4 follicles--BFP!  Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158.  M/C 11/1/14
    December 2014: IVF #1.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  9R, 9M, 9F.  3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
    April 2015: IVF #2.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  16R, 15M, 12F. Transferred 2 5-day blasts 4/12 and froze 4--BFP!  M/C 5/25/15
    August 2015: IVF #3.  14R, 13M, 11F.  Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing.  3 normals.  FET planned for 10/2015.



    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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    My Ovulation Chart

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  • pettycrockerpettycrocker member
    What did it for me yesterday was, going to check my email and seeing gigantic fucking headlines about newborns being thrown in drainpipes in Australia, ALIVE. Fucking seriously??? We're all here killing ourselves to get pregnant- meanwhile in Australia............................................. 


    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • pdxvegpdxveg member
    potatocastillo said:
    What did it for me yesterday was, going to check my email and seeing gigantic fucking headlines about newborns being thrown in drainpipes in Australia, ALIVE. Fucking seriously??? We're all here killing ourselves to get pregnant- meanwhile in Australia............................................. 
    Yeah that is one of the biggest fuckups of the universe.  Shitty people seem to have no problem giving birth to babies to abuse or abandon.  
    Me: 34 DH: 36 
    DD#1 04/28/11

    TTC#2 since April 2012 - Unexplained Secondary IF (probably PCOS)
    Dec 13-March 14 Femara and TI - BFN
    April 2014 IUI#1 (Femara + Ovidrel) - BFN
    June 2014 IUI#2 (Femara + Ovidrel) - BFP 7/9/14 - No HB on 8/13/14 @ 8w4d
    Nov 2014 IUI#3 (Femara + Ovidrel) - BFFN
    Jan 2015 IUI#4 (Femara + Ovidrel) - BFN
    Feb 2015 IUI#5 Converted to TI (7.5mg Femara) - BFP 3/17/15!!!
    Beta #1 82, Beta #2 202 Please let this be it.
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  • bumpuser6119831bumpuser6119831 member
    ^^anytime my husband hears of a story like this he goes into rage about how unfair all of this is.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    DX: Severe MFI 9/1/11
    Because of Undescended testicle at birth
    IVF #1 October BFN; 5 snowbabies
    FET: November/December 2011
    ET: 12/7/11; Beta 1: 12/16/11: 66 Beta 2: 12/19/11: 212! 1st ultrasound 1/3/12! Graduated 1/10/12: heartbeat 160
    SAIF Always Welcome
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • fuzzbumblefuzzbumble member
    @MoFree, I am so sorry.  It is so unfair that we have to go through this, but then we can't be happy or celebrate with friends and family either.  IF steals everything.  

    image

    June 19, 2010 - Miracle Baby Girl

    Round 2
    Since March 2013
    BFP April 2013 - Missed M/C July 2013 @ 12w6d
    BFP December 2013 - CP @ 4w3d
    Eight medicated cycles, three IUIs: FAIL
    IVF #1 Antagonist - January 2015: CP/FAIL

    IVF #2 April 2015: Microdose lupron Flare
    ICSI, CCS Freeze all
    6 blasts biopsied/5 normal

    FET #1 June 25, 2015 6AA and 5AA blast transfer
    BFP 3dp5dt!
    Beta 8dp5dt 195.2, 10dp5dt 474.8, 12dp5dt 977, 22dp5dt 25,580
    <3 Twins! Our boy and girl coming end of February!  <3

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  • Limbo2000Limbo2000 member

    My sister in law announced her pregnancy on thanksgiving last year (I miscarried the day before). I watched her going through the pregnancy w/ was pretty close to the stage I would have been at. I love my nephew and her with all my heart. I secretly find myself feeling resentful sometimes though. I know exactly how you feel - and it sucks.

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  • fuzzbumblefuzzbumble member
    Limbo2000 said:

    My sister in law announced her pregnancy on thanksgiving last year (I miscarried the day before). I watched her going through the pregnancy w/ was pretty close to the stage I would have been at. I love my nephew and her with all my heart. I secretly find myself feeling resentful sometimes though. I know exactly how you feel - and it sucks.

    I have a good friend who shared my due date for my first loss.  Every time she posts a picture, it makes me think of how old my baby would be.  It sucks tremendously.  11 months, planning a birthday party right now..ugh.  

    image

    June 19, 2010 - Miracle Baby Girl

    Round 2
    Since March 2013
    BFP April 2013 - Missed M/C July 2013 @ 12w6d
    BFP December 2013 - CP @ 4w3d
    Eight medicated cycles, three IUIs: FAIL
    IVF #1 Antagonist - January 2015: CP/FAIL

    IVF #2 April 2015: Microdose lupron Flare
    ICSI, CCS Freeze all
    6 blasts biopsied/5 normal

    FET #1 June 25, 2015 6AA and 5AA blast transfer
    BFP 3dp5dt!
    Beta 8dp5dt 195.2, 10dp5dt 474.8, 12dp5dt 977, 22dp5dt 25,580
    <3 Twins! Our boy and girl coming end of February!  <3

    Report Reply
  • Davie813Davie813 member
    fuzzbumble said:
    Limbo2000 said:

    My sister in law announced her pregnancy on thanksgiving last year (I miscarried the day before). I watched her going through the pregnancy w/ was pretty close to the stage I would have been at. I love my nephew and her with all my heart. I secretly find myself feeling resentful sometimes though. I know exactly how you feel - and it sucks.

    I have a good friend who shared my due date for my first loss.  Every time she posts a picture, it makes me think of how old my baby would be.  It sucks tremendously.  11 months, planning a birthday party right now..ugh.  
    I'm sorry, @Limbo2000 and @fuzzbumble. :(
    *****Signature/Ticker Warning******

    Me: 41, DH: 45
    DD, 6/15/2013
    TTC #2 beginning January 2014
    AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11

    July 2014: IUI #1.  Follistim + Pregnyl.  2 follicles--BFN
    September 2014: IUI #2.  Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone.  4(?) follicles--BFN
    October 2014: IUI #3.  More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone.  4 follicles--BFP!  Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158.  M/C 11/1/14
    December 2014: IVF #1.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  9R, 9M, 9F.  3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
    April 2015: IVF #2.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  16R, 15M, 12F. Transferred 2 5-day blasts 4/12 and froze 4--BFP!  M/C 5/25/15
    August 2015: IVF #3.  14R, 13M, 11F.  Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing.  3 normals.  FET planned for 10/2015.



    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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    My Ovulation Chart

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