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TTC after 35
CML11
member
A one two punch in the gut... (BFP mentioned, not mine)
CML11
member
in TTC after 35
So we hosted Thanksgiving and it went very smoothly...until....
*********punch one********
Then my brother breaks the news...next year we will have to get a highchair to add to the table...for them. The have been married for a hot minute and probably got pregnant on their first try.
********punch two**********
Her due date is what mine would have been had we not experienced our recent loss.
I really tried to be truly happy for them, but it makes me jealous and angry.
I had to excuse myself after a little while so they wouldn't see me tear up. It's just so unfair.
So I come here for my stupid pity parties. They have no idea of our recent loss in their defense.
*********punch one********
Then my brother breaks the news...next year we will have to get a highchair to add to the table...for them. The have been married for a hot minute and probably got pregnant on their first try.
********punch two**********
Her due date is what mine would have been had we not experienced our recent loss.
I really tried to be truly happy for them, but it makes me jealous and angry.
I had to excuse myself after a little while so they wouldn't see me tear up. It's just so unfair.
So I come here for my stupid pity parties. They have no idea of our recent loss in their defense.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: A one two punch in the gut... (BFP mentioned, not mine)
My Ovulation Chart
DH: 45
BFP #1 3/19/14 EDD 11/29/14 MMC D&C 4/24/14
BFP #2 12/4/14 Beta #1 218 at 12dpo Beta #2 1055 at 16dpo
Saw heartbeat 12/29. Please be a rainbow.
All welcome
My Ovulation Chart
Me 36 DH 39
BFP 11/28/14 ~ MMC 12/29/14
TTCAL Siggy Challenge
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***
TTC#1 since July 2014
AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder
Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
DE attempt in Czech Republic!!
March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis.
Headed to Prague April 30
3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
My blog: www.wearethehammitts.blogspot.com
BFP- 10-16-14 EDD 6/13/15: MC 12-1-14
I am torn on saying something to them. One part of me feels she is entitled to her pregnancy excitement and shouldn't expect her to walk on eggshells until I finally receive my own BPF. The other part of me wants to be selfish and bitter. So I've compromised in staying as far away from them as I can. I've cancelled getting together this weekend and will continue avoiding them until I can handle the excited baby talk. Right now all I now is that I can't handle it.
I can sympathize with the teary moments. I'm coming close to our 2 year actively TTC mark, that's not helping either.
"It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness." - Eleanor Roosevelt
BFP- 10-16-14 EDD 6/13/15: MC 12-1-14
I truly am so thankful for the support here.
Me: 41, DH: 45
DD, 6/15/2013
TTC #2 beginning January 2014
AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11
July 2014: IUI #1. Follistim + Pregnyl. 2 follicles--BFN
September 2014: IUI #2. Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone. 4(?) follicles--BFN
October 2014: IUI #3. More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone. 4 follicles--BFP! Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158. M/C 11/1/14
December 2014: IVF #1. Microdose Lupron protocol. 9R, 9M, 9F. 3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
August 2015: IVF #3. 14R, 13M, 11F. Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing. 3 normals. FET planned for 10/2015.
My Ovulation Chart
MMC 1/21/15 @ 11 weeks
MC 5/17 and 8/17
BFP 11/18 EDD 7/27/18
Once you have taken a deep breath, and the space you need to reconcile this news with your sadness, and to greive properly - realize that you are gaining something beautiful here.
The universe has decided to bring you a niece or nephew on that day, instead of a son or daughter. You mentioned that they have been married for a short time, so I assume that this will be their first. They will need tons of help and you can be the supportive Auntie as I have been to so many of my family and friends. Swoop in there and steal the baby for a night so they can sleep, or stay over at their place now and then in the beginning so you get all the cuddle time and night feedings while they get more than 2 hours of continuous sleep, whatever you can do to spend time with the new little one and help them out. Not only will the joy of your new family member and the special bond you will have with that niece or nephew do you lots of good, it will also mean that when your time comes your Bro and SIL will owe you a night off now and then!!!
I have had so many close bonds that mean the world to me with the friends and familys' kids who call me Auntie. I spent the first five days of my vacation this week with the friend whose MC I mentioned earlier's 2 year old at my place. I picked him up from her place 90 mins away and he came and stayed with my DH and I. He has known us since he was born - that bond we created with the early sleepovers and borrowing him for 4 or 5 days whenever we can fills our hearts and lives with so much joy, and brings us the cuddles we need until we are able to have our own.
The experience of diapers and umbilical cords and gas and everything else is valuable too - much easier to have them go through it first so you know what to potentially expect! I have been through at LEAST 20 trial runs, so I don't think there is much that could come up with pregnancy, childbirth or parenting that would be a total surprise. Banking that information and experience I think is going to allow me to be a much more relaxed parent.
There are so many silver linings. I just hope your heart heals enough that you can move forward and fully enjoy them. And that you have a BFP of your own to announce before the next holiday comes around!