Working MoMs...how do you do it?

BeesKnees181 · November 2014

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but it has been a real rough week. Tell me how you do it please. Or share your rough week...I need something...

Wishing35 · November 2014

I'm fortunate to work evenings, 4-12 so I do get to spend a lot of time with my girls before I go in. For me I have to be ultra organized and have my set routines for things to run as smooth as possible. On my nights off I try to set up things for the week, restocking supplies ,laundry, refilling baby bag etc. Usually once a night at work DH will FaceTime with me and I get to see the girls eating dinner or getting ready for bed. If they are having a rough night it makes me feel awful because
I want to be there to hold them and put them to bed! I'm sorry your having a rough week, I don't have much advice I'm pretty new to being a parent and trying to balance it all. Hopefully you have off for thanksgiving and you get a nice break.

carrotcake06 · November 2014

I have a 4.5yo and the twins are 17mo. Both H and I work FT and he travels a week or two out of every month. It's really hard. We are very lucky to have family watch the twins at our home during the week (we do pay them).

A typical day: wake up around 7, showers and getting ready, oldest gets himself dressed and ready, out the door by 745-8am. H does pick up and drop off and he goes to FT pre-k.

We get home around 6pm, dinner by 630pm, baths at 730-745pm, bedtime for the twins is 815pm and the big one not until 9pm or so.

We clean the kitchen and prepare meals for the next day right after dinner and run the dishwasher every night. We have a house cleaner come once a month. Laundry gets done on the weekend. I also don't cook during the week - I do it all on the weekend and then reheat and/or put together different meals quickly during the week.

When MH travels, it's hard bc I have to do it all myself.

Millimeter · November 2014

I'm sorry you're having a rough week. We've all been there.

When I was working, it was 10 hour days Sunday through Wednesday. We would wake at 530 and I'd leave at 615 for work while DH took the kids to my mom's twice a week and I did pick up. One day a week my MIL came to the house so it was easier that day.

All prep was made the night before so all we needed to do was change into clothes and give them bottles. We'd get home close to 7 so we'd do dinner, baths, and bed. Thursday and Friday I cleaned, did laundry, and got groceries. The house was a disaster the rest of the week. Saturdays DH would watch the kids all day so I could do work for my classes.

I don't remember eating much during the week, other than at work. We lived off sandwiches and frozen pizza when we did eat.

It was all a blur and I don't really remember much of their first six months. There were days where I went to work with clothes that smelled like baby feet and had crusty spit up, and weeks where I have no idea how we kept it together.

But we are moms of multiples, so we are superwomen. So long as the kids are fed and mostly clean, I'd call it a good day.

BeesKnees181 · November 2014

You are all so awesome! Thank you! Thank you a million times over for this. I do have a break for Thanksgiving. I am so excited for that time off. "We are superwomen!"

Odebdo · November 2014

I am lucky right now and only back to work 3-4 days a week....but I am a CPA and tax time is quickly approaching and I will be 5-6 days a week and I am not gonna lie...trying to figure out how I am going to do it is causing me some stress! So thank you for posting this and to everyone for sharing...makes me realize I will figure it out somehow and we all will survive even if the house is a disaster and we eat frozen food or takeout!

Scorpgirl444 · November 2014

I am a single working mom. My kiddos are 2 (will be 2.5 in Jan). They go to daycare during the day. My typical day looks like this:

5:50 I get up and get myself dressed and lunch/breakfast done.

6:05 get kiddos up and dressed for school

6:20 out the door and in the car

6:30 drop off at daycare/drive to my job at an elementary school

3:45 pick up kiddos from daycare

As soon as we get home I give them their late afternoon snack. Both get excited for milk and a fruit bar.

I get their snack, shoes off and diapers changed if needed. Also get the tv on in their playroom so I can do the other things I need to do.

I get myself changed and then put out outfits for all of us for the next day.

Dinner is usually easy because dd doesn't eat meat. Grilled cheese or pizza or something else she might have the chance of eating is made. Ds may get something different since he's a meatatarian.

I eat at 5:30 when Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is on so that I can eat in peace.

If a bath night (Dd has extremely sensitive skin so every other day is all her poor skin can handle)...bath at 7.

Twins go to bed at 7:30 - I read 2 books, do our night time routine and they go to bed.

7:30 shower

8-9:30 is my time.

9:30 bedtime for me.

The cleaning gets done all the time. Laundry is done when the basket on the washing machine is full. Dd likes to help put stuff in the dryer and then hand things to me to fold. Dishes that aren't in the dishwasher get done daily. There is never a dish in the sink when I go to sleep. Floors get done randomly. Honestly, this is where I slack off. Cleaning the floors is an endless endeavor with how much food get dropped on the floor all the time. The crumbs from the fruit bar are on the floor in their playroom.

Bathrooms get done when I feel like it. lol

It can be done. I have no family in the area until mid Jan. I'm in Texas. Right now they are all in NJ. My friends have incredibly busy lives and don't really have time to watch them. Luckily my neighbor also has 2 year old twins so we switch off babysitting when we can.

Seeing what it's like to have 2 year old quads (they are 2 months apart) is also an adventure!

xtina78 · November 2014

I just went back two weeks ago and only 20 hours total (over four days) .... schedule has been something like this:

6a - twin b wakes up for real - wake twin a up, change them both, nurse them both, then pump for milk to give their nanny

645a - DH wakes up makes coffee and oatmeal, feeds cats and dog

715 - DH plays with girls while I take a shower and put make up on

8a - DH takes shower while I play with girls

810a - nurse girls

830a - take them to their nanny (right next door thank goodness, then come home change to work clothes

9a - leave for work/DH goes to work

930-130p work

130p - come home from work, change into clothes that can be spit up upon and get babies and nurse (boobs are bursting at this point b/c I don't pump at work - it's a long story but for now it's easier not to)

2p-get girls and nurse, pump after nursing

5p - DH comes home - makes dinner while I nurse or play with girls (dinner is usually something frozen that can be put in oven, we eat a lot of frozen pizza, lasagne, other random family size frozen meals from target or costco)

630p - final nursing then put them to bed

7p-8p DH and me time

8p go to bed - DH sleeps in nursery until 1-2am when they wake up to eat, then wakes me up, changes diapers, and I feed them, I'm with them rest of the night ... they sometimes sleep OK in this stretch and sometimes it's very broken.

I'm lucky my DH is very involved and very good with the babies and also we have the next door nanny which saves a ton of hassle. We have no local family. We pay someone to clean our house and do our yard work. We are very lucky to be able to do this. We do laundry every 2-3 days and DH helps fold. We do not fold baby clothes any more, they just go in their bins.

Our girls basically only wear footed pajamas that zip b/c we can't handle snaps, baby socks, or outfits that are more than one piece. I'm pretty sure my MIL thinks I'm a heinous person for this (and for not dressing them identically).

I do have to vacuum every other day (fluffy dog and cat) and I usually do this while one baby is napping and baby wearing the other baby if they are boycotting their nap.

SmallCityLiving · November 2014

Our two are almost 8 months and I have been back to work full time since August. DH and I both used to work 50-60 hour weeks so it has been and still is an adjustment. Currently Dh does drop off so I can go in early and I do pick up so he can stay later. Honestly We both often do an hour of work from 8-9 too.

Days are insane and we don't eat until babies are in bed at 7. Then I repack everything, wash diapers as necessary and allow myself some time to sit on the couch. One thing I'm having a hard time with is taking any time for myself. I'm so sad that I barely get to see them during the week that I don't want to give up weekend time with them. I used to be very into endurance triathlons but now it's a great week if I work out twice. It doesn't help that mine are up every two hours at night still so I can't even make myself wake up early to work out.

Sorry, that was totally unhelpful but all that is to say it's hard but we are eight months in and surviving. Having a DH who is a true partner in it all is a lifesaver. I love my career and am not ready to give it up but it's tough! Hang in there!

Millimeter · November 2014

@SmallCityLiving‌
Making time for yourself is the hardest part. I'm staying home now and my twins are 16 months, but it's still very hard to make time for yourself.

My husband works long hours and wants to spend all his home time with the kids. It is really important to make time for yourself and care for yourself--we all need a break from everything!

One week I'll have a few hours to go get groceries or do something on my own and the next DH will get to hang out with the guys for a little bit. Another idea is splitting up the kids so you get one on one time but aren't overwhelmed with two. DH will take DS to his friend's house to watch the game and I'll take DD to get groceries or walk around the mall.

What about getting a jogging stroller and going for a run while still spending time with your LOs? I'm currently sneaking in some me time while DH feeds LOs in the kitchen.

CaliCarly77 · November 2014

Our day:

6 a.m. I wake up and go work out

7 a.m. home showering, get dressed and getting stuff ready for the day (bottles, baby food, my lunch)

7:45 = dh and I wake the girls, change them and feed them, play time

8:30 - nanny gets here and takes over, last minute stuff gets done and off to work

9 - 5:30 - work

6:00 - take over from nanny and play with the girls till DH gets home. If I am feeling ambitious I might cook. Usually I do not. I might throw in some laundry to fold later during tv time.

7 - DH home, give the girls a bath on bath nights

7:45 - PJs, bottles and stories or play time in their room

8 pm - lights out

8 pm we make dinner (soup, lean cuisine, frozen pizza usually), watch some TV, then fill the dishwasher, run it each night, and clean the kitchen, pick up toys.

10 pm - bed time

Our nanny does the girls' laundry. We have a housekeeper once a month.

Frankly I don't know how stay at home moms do it.

CaliCarly77 · November 2014

SmallCityLiving said:

Our two are almost 8 months and I have been back to work full time since August. DH and I both used to work 50-60 hour weeks so it has been and still is an adjustment. Currently Dh does drop off so I can go in early and I do pick up so he can stay later. Honestly We both often do an hour of work from 8-9 too. Days are insane and we don't eat until babies are in bed at 7. Then I repack everything, wash diapers as necessary and allow myself some time to sit on the couch. One thing I'm having a hard time with is taking any time for myself. I'm so sad that I barely get to see them during the week that I don't want to give up weekend time with them. I used to be very into endurance triathlons but now it's a great week if I work out twice. It doesn't help that mine are up every two hours at night still so I can't even make myself wake up early to work out. Sorry, that was totally unhelpful but all that is to say it's hard but we are eight months in and surviving. Having a DH who is a true partner in it all is a lifesaver. I love my career and am not ready to give it up but it's tough! Hang in there!

I ran a marathon the month before I got pregnant, and had been a runner for 7 years before that. I have to say - something in the last month shifted and I am finding it easier and easier to get up and work out. The girls are 11 months next week. I ran a 5K on Sunday. It really did change so much from 8 months to 11. You will be there in no time. Also we were work junkies before, too - I used to stay till 8 most nights. Having to leave at 5:30 just made me more efficient with my time here (as I type responses on TB!! lol) But seriously, I am a lot more focused in my work hours than I used to be.

OP - I forgot to mention, I also get my groceries delivered. I use a service through Vons that is free over $150. I have my grocery list picked out and I just hit "re-order" every 2 weeks. Huge time saver!

SmallCityLiving · November 2014

@CaliCarly77‌ Thanks so much, I'm glad to hear it's possible to come back. I had originally told myself I would start getting back into it when they were sleeping through the night. That's nowhere in sight so I decided to sign up for a half marathon just before their first birthday. Hopefully that will be enough motivation! Seriously though, I appreciate the encouragement. Always good to hear others have survived!

CaliCarly77 · November 2014

SmallCityLiving said:

@CaliCarly77‌ Thanks so much, I'm glad to hear it's possible to come back. I had originally told myself I would start getting back into it when they were sleeping through the night. That's nowhere in sight so I decided to sign up for a half marathon just before their first birthday. Hopefully that will be enough motivation! Seriously though, I appreciate the encouragement. Always good to hear others have survived!

Yeah - it was like I needed those first few months of them STTN to catch up on sleep and refresh, it was all I could do to make it to bed each night and wake up to get ready. Then all of a sudden I got into a rhythm and my body was ready to work out again. I would actually be pretty trained right now but had to take a 2 week break due to a kidney infection. Otherwise I would say a half marathon around their 1st bday is doable, as long as DH would be willing to watch the girls while I train on weekends. The hard part is not being able to come home and nap after a long run!! hah!

Good luck to you!!! I am determined not to use the kids as an excuse to let myself go!!

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